


Comes the Hurricane

by Lizardbeth



Series: Understanding the Storm [5]
Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies), Thor (Movies)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Avenger Loki, Canon Divergence - Post-Avengers (2012), Ensemble Cast, Gen, Infinity Gems, Loki Angst, Loki Has Issues, Parent Frigga, Post-Avengers (2012), Protective Thor, Thor Is a Good Bro, other cameos - Freeform, sort of
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-09-30
Updated: 2016-10-21
Packaged: 2018-04-24 04:53:33
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 38
Words: 121,875
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4906252
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Lizardbeth/pseuds/Lizardbeth
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>As New York freezes from the unleashed Casket of the Ancient Winters, the Avengers find themselves with no choice but ally with the only one who can stop it. But Loki's caught inside a storm of his own, as Thanos comes at last.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Falling (Prologue)

**Author's Note:**

> This is PART V of Understanding the Storm the series. The previous stories are:  
> 1\. Understanding the Storm  
> 2\. Understanding the Storm - Prelude  
> 3\. The Poison Rain  
> 4\. Hail of Shadows  
> I encourage you to read those first, since they tell the story of how this new 'verse has spun out of MCU post-AVengers (2012) and especially as they deal with Frigga and Thor's efforts to bring Loki back to himself. You probably don't HAVE to read them - the previous stories are Asgard focused, where this one brings in the Avengers in a far more important way - but this one does pick up directly after Hail of Shadows.
> 
> (The series "Tales of the Storm" contains the main sequence plus some backstory/attached fics of this 'verse in the preferred reading order, if you want all of it. But the Understanding the Storm Series will give you the main story)
> 
> Also, partly because I started this project before even the Dark World was out, and partly because I DO WHAT I WANT, there are more than a few shifts and liberties I take with canon. For example, Loki's old scepter doesn't have the Mind Stone in it (it's something else, and you will find out what, but it's not that). Just roll with it. :)
> 
> A short prologue to start to get everyone on board, then we're off! I hope you enjoy the ride! :)

**Understanding the Storm**  
_Part V_  
**Comes the Hurricane**

 

_Prologue - Falling_

 

Loki fell.

_The darkness swirled around him, like smoke, like something alive, not like the void of space. From the shadows, shapes took form._

_First, the great golden throne of Asgard, high above where Loki knelt, bare knees on stone. He looked up at Odin, whose face was stern and unforgiving, and the king pronounced, "You are no son of mine. You are my enemy and for you I feel only hate and scorn. Darkness and ice are your birthright, and to them you go. The light and warmth of Asgard are not for you, foul beast. Be gone."_

_Gungnir flared, blinding with power, and pushed Loki away, deeper into the clinging shadows._

_Next, Thor came forth, wielding Mjolnir. He called lightning against Loki and hit him in the chest with the hammer, forcing him to his knees. "You think yourself my equal, you worm? My might is greater than yours by far; you are not fit to be my shadow."_

_"Thor! Brother!"_

_"You forfeit my love, creature. You are no brother of mine." Thor turned his back and was swallowed by the dark._

_Frigga appeared, but her eyes were cold and her lips sneering. "I have only one son, and he is bright and perfect. You were the foundling Odin Allfather brought home to amuse us all with your primitive ways. But you are no child of mine. You are nothing."_

_He held out his hand, imploring, "Mother!"_

_She turned away. "Touch me not, monster. I have no love for you."_

_"Mother, please!" he begged, and the desolation in his heart was an endless chasm. "Amma...."_

_"You disgust me." And she was gone, lost in the nothingness around him, the shadows pulling her away._

_Loki stood on the ragged edge of the Bifrost, and before him was a gathering array of friends and enemies - Sif and Laufey, Fandral and Heimdall, Malekith and Sigyn, so many, so full of hate. "Go, Loki the Liar, Loki the weak, Loki the son of nowhere. Be gone from this place."_

_"No, please…" Loki whispered, "Please, I'm sorry, I tried, why will no one help me?"_

_But they all turned their backs and left him. Beneath his feet even the Bifrost abandoned him, the rainbow shimmer dying as the bridge cracked and crumbled. He scrambled to hold on to edges that cut his hands to the bone, but all of it shattered to dust._

_There was nothing to hold him up. Ir was gone and he was falling into the dark again, screaming, but he heard no sound._

_He was held fast. A warmth surrounded him from the dark and the cold, and it felt welcome until he looked up and saw the gray-violet skin of his rescuer._

_Thanos grinned at him. "Mine. I shall play with you, little Jotunn traitor. I shall break you and you shall serve me, for all eternity."_

_"No, no, no!" he screamed and attacked. Thanos was amused by the futility of his blows and the knife blades that shattered on his skin, and then he tired of it, seizing Loki's head in one great hand. The pressure of his fingers threatened to crack his skull, as he inexorably forced Loki down. Loki tugged at the hand, kicked at him, resisted with every bit of strength he possessed, and still the hand forced his head lower, until Loki was crouched awkwardly on the ground, spine bending, neck bending, until his forehead touched the ground beneath Thanos' feet._

_"You serve me," Thanos declared. "You are mine."_

_His grip shifted, to grab Loki around the throat and lift him up, until Loki's feet dangled. Loki clutched at the arm and pried at the tight fingers, but could not shift them a hair. Those lifeless eyes stared into him, pitiless as a viper, and his smile was nothing but malice. "Did you think you could escape the prophecy, traitor? You will make the Nine Realms burn. You will raise mountains of dead for me."_

_"No," he whispered, and the hand tightened, choking off all breath, strangling him._

_Thanos leaned closer, fetid breath in Loki's nose, and his eyes gleamed. "There is no peace in death, not for you. There is nowhere you can hide where I will not pluck you out, little rat. There is no escape."_

_Loki had no breath to speak, could not have found a voice in his terror regardless. Thanos laughed. "In your place, toy. Until I have need of you."_

_Thanos threw him to the edge of the platform above the endless void. Loki slammed into the stone ground, and his ribs and legs shattered at the impact. He lay helpless, every part of him on fire with pain, throat crushed so he could draw no breath to cry out._

_He was alone. No one was coming to help him. No one cared. There was only one way out, only one path to escape. He rolled off the platform, falling again in the endless chasm._

_Falling…_

_The darkness swirled around him, like something alive, not like the void of space. From the dark, shapes took form… Odin, Frigga, Thor, Thanos.. a parade to taunt him with hate and despair, to drown him in fear and pain…_

_He rolled off the platform, into the void…_

_The darkness swirled around him..._

_… again and ..._

_... again..._

The nightmare held him in icy fingers, refusing to give up its prize. There was no escape.

He was lost.

* * *

 

... to be continued... 

 

 


	2. Summer day

* * *

 

 

Manhattan was beautiful, on this lazy Sunday in July. The sunlight was brilliant on the glass of the skyscrapers and the clouds were wispy in a blue sky. Outside the air was already hot and humid, but in the penthouse of Stark Tower, it was pleasant. Tony was finishing a late breakfast of coffee and toast, talking to Pepper in Los Angeles and trying to get out of attending the board meeting on Tuesday, while Thor ate a roast chicken and drank beer at the table.

It was all domestic and nice, and in hindsight that was when he should have known it was all gonna go straight to hell.

"Pepper, you're CEO so I don't have to go." It wasn't whining if it was true. "Besides, I have a guest, I can't make it." He tipped his head in Thor's direction.

Pepper smiled back in that way of hers that told him she wasn't buying a single syllable. " _Bring him. I'm sure he'd enjoy seeing California_."

Tony wasn't sure of that. Thor wasn't enjoying much of anything while his brother was being held captive by a dark elf wizard, probably being tortured, if he wasn't already dead. Thor went to stand on the observation deck and shout at Heimdall twice a day, without answer. Tony worried that Thor might be going a bit crazy in the silence from his family.

 _Talking birds, but no telephones. Asgard has the greatest tech in the universe, my ass_.

"I'll ask," he told Pepper. At  _that_  look he added, "I promise!"

" _I miss you_ ," she said, and somehow her eyes were so sad and lonely and made him want to reach through the screen and kiss her.

Except it was a low, dirty ploy. "Oh. Don't pull the 'miss you' card. That's totally unfair!" He stabbed the air in her direction and pouted.

" _You need to be here, Tony_."

"No, I don't, not really," he protested, as JARVIS made a little polite throat-clearing noise to interrupt.

" _Sir_ ," JARVIS said diffidently, " _there is an atmospheric disturbance building_."

"Oh, thank God," he blurted. On this level, they stood high enough to clear most of the other buildings in mid-town and glimpse a wide swathe of sky. Clouds were gathering overhead despite the lack of any weather system to make them do that.

At the table Thor had also heard. His chair crashed backward, and the table rattled and nearly flipped over, too, as he stood up. "The Bifrost!" he declared and headed for the sliding glass door out to the observation deck.

Tony glanced back to the screen. "Gotta suit up, Pep. Something's happening."

 _"Be careful_ ," she wished him and closed the connection before he could. Her face disappeared from the monitor, which sank back into the surface of the table automatically.

The clouds were gathering and now swirling, with the epicenter gathered directly overhead. It was a dark storm, lightning flashing in the center, as the winds increased.

But Thor no longer looked happy when Tony joined him outside. "Not the Bifrost," he said. "A portal." When he called Mjolnir, the hammer came to him with an ease Tony still envied as he called the suit. The pieces snapped around him continuously, nearly knocking him down twice -  _gotta fix that part_  - but the faceplate and left gauntlet were slow. He gestured again impatiently. "JARVIS, where's the rest?"

" _On the way, sir_."

It probably was a portal, but it seemed ominous to Tony. It was dark and violent, not opening as neatly as it had for the Chitauri or for Thor's arrival.

"Perhaps it is Loki," Thor exclaimed hopefully and launched himself upward.

"Yeah, oh joy," Tony muttered as the gauntlet found his hand, and he could follow.

It was a portal, but smaller and less stable. The winds were fierce, tornado strength, and lightning flashed all around him, forcing him to keep back. Thor was able to catch the lightning on Mjolnir, but the winds buffeted him, sending him twirling through the air, until he too had to back away, watching as a gap formed in the eye of the hurricane.

Then it happened - a shape plummeted through. It fell like a rock, straight down, but it was wrapped in a green cape that billowed in the wind, and Tony knew it was Loki. He was falling on his back, and his head and hands were hidden by the cape but the color was unmistakable. He fell limply, a broken doll dropped from on high.

Thor yelled his name and tried to get to him, but the winds were too strong for him to approach.

Tony glanced at the portal to check if there was anyone else coming through, but the portal remained empty.

When he looked again at the falling figure, though, it had changed. The winds had become strangely visible, writhing streams of pale grey and white curling around him and spreading outward, and Loki was nearly invisible inside the cloud and coated in white.

Thor made another attempt to get to him, but the strange fog wouldn't let him pass.

"What the hell is that?" Tony demanded.

JARVIS didn't answer directly, but reported, " _The external temperature has lowered fifty degrees Celsius and is still dropping_."

It was literally freezing out there, on this balmy summer day. He didn't know how, but he knew who.

"Gotta stop him."

Tony darted forward to try to seize Loki, grimly controlling the suit to maneuver against the wind, and the thrusters sputtered. "What the hell--? JARVIS?"

Even JARVIS' power was cutting out. " _There is … power drain … the tempera … causing .. fficulty … certain operatio_ …."

Tony urged the thrusters to pull away, and distance seemed to help. JARVIS continued, " _The temperature of that falling object is approximately negative eighty degrees Celsius. Ambient temperature is also dropping._ "

Which was when Tony realized it was snowing - the water vapor and even the carbon dioxide were freezing and falling. That was why when he looked at Loki, he was a gathering ball of ice and snow.

He was a comet that was going to hit the Tower at several hundred miles an hour.

Tony had just enough time to stop and watch. The frozen shape plowed into the roof.

It should have ended there. The Tower was structurally sound. It was built to resist aircraft, fire, and the big green guy as best he could manage without tearing it down and starting over. Loki should have slammed into it, broken the roof and maybe through a floor, and stopped there. Instead Tony got a very bad feeling, as the windows blew out, sending glass raining down.

"Loki!" Thor exclaimed and started to dive back toward the Tower.

But Tony, seized by an instinct, dove after him. "Thor, no, stop!" he yelled. "Stay back!" He grabbed Thor's cape and pulled, and crap this was a bad idea, as Thor turned on him in a fury. They landed on the helipad of the neighboring Chase building, smashing one air conditioning unit and rolling until Tony planted a foot and put a repulsor in Thor's face.

"STOP!" Tony yelled through the facemask. "LOOK!" He pointed urgently back to the Tower, and Thor turned to look again.

The clouds hadn't cleared after the portal closed; instead, they were spreading and thickening into dark storm clouds blocking the sun. The temperature was still cold, if not the super cold near Loki. More snow fluttered past.

But that wasn't the horror.

The hole in the Tower settled, and the sign at the top of the Tower went dark. Which would have been understandable, except then all the lights in the Tower went out, floor by floor. The traffic lights went out, instantly causing a cacophony of blaring horns echoing down from below. The neighboring buildings all went dark and then block by block, the city was engulfed in a power failure as far as Tony could see. And then his Tower - his beautiful glass and steel Tower of magnificence that he was going to make into a safe house for his friends--

The Tower melted.

It made a terrible groaning roar, then began to collapse in on itself, slowly, as if the metal struts had turned to butter, floor by floor. Or, more precisely, as if it was being drawn into some sort of singularity at the heart of the tower, sinking down with a terrible swiftness and ease, emitting scarcely a cloud of dust.

"Oh my God," Tony whispered, finding no other words as he stared at the destruction. It seemed like it took forever, but was actually only a few seconds, before it had slumped into a roughly conical shape, half the height it had been.

Thank God there'd been no one inside today, being Sunday.

"What the hell is going on?" Tony demanded. "How did Loki do that?"

"He did not," Thor answered, blue eyes distraught, shaking his head once without taking his gaze from the Tower.

"Of course he did! He's right there--"

Thor insisted, "This is not his doing. We must evacuate."

"What?"

"Evacuate the city. This is wrong."

Tony snorted, because duh, something was wrong, but the look on Thor's face said he was serious, so he ordered JARVIS, "Channel to SHIELD. NYPD. Hell, everybody. This is Iron Man. Evacuate Manhattan."

The reply came back in an officious woman's voice, " _This is Supervisory Agent Hand of SHIELD, Iron Man. Report. What is the nature of-- oh my God, what the hell did you do, Stark_?"

A radiant energy beam – similar to the portal beam from the tesseract - rose up out of the top of Stark Tower, except when it reached about two hundred meters in height, it opened like an umbrella, forming a silvery transparent energy dome over the ruin of Stark Tower.

"It wasn't me! Evacuate!" Tony yelled into the comm and then shut the connection to ask Thor, "What is that? Is this Thanos?"

"No." Thor shook his head, not taking his eyes from it. "Do not let it touch you. This is nothing mortals can survive."

Tony didn't like to hear that at all.

* * *

tbc...

 


	3. Winter is here

* * *

Of course, it got worse.

JARVIS reported, " _The diameter has increased by twenty meters, sir. Harlem has just lost power, and SHIELD reports there are panicked crowds gathering in the streets_."

Tony could hear and see that for himself, even way up here. Dialing up the magnification he could see the people down below on the street, those right in front of the dome especially. Some people had started to clear the street, remembering the Chitauri invasion, but others - some particularly not-bright others-- decided to touch the dome. Tony saw exactly why Thor had said not to touch it.

They froze.

Solid. And when their friends touched that person, they froze too. The chain of three ice statues was not balanced, and they fell over to the street and shattered like glass.

Like ice. Ice that once been people.

He launched himself off the tower, falling straight down until he pulled up at the last minute in front of the crowd. "THAT WAY!" he commanded. "Away. Go. Move. Run. Get inside, underground, move!" He shot at their feet with the repulsors to get them to move, and finally they moved. Most ran north, up Park Ave, though he saw a few jog east to get to the subway entrance. He didn't know if that was actually safer -- if that dome was actually a sphere they were screwed -- but at least they weren't standing around looking bright silvery death in the face. He circled the Tower as quickly as he could, urging people to get the hell away from the silver energy dome and off the street. Most people were already fleeing, their shorts and t-shirts unprepared for the sudden winter.

Thor followed him, saw what he was doing and helped urge the stragglers and the drivers to head uptown. As soon as they'd cleared as many as they could, Thor stood in the middle of the now-empty Park Avenue.

"Move back," he advised Tony, who moved away as Thor lifted Mjolnir high and called lightning down from the sky. It was… impressive, as Mjolnir drew it in and then he lowered the hammer, to redirect the lightning at the dome. Lightning scattered on the surface and the dome brightened, but when Thor lowered the hammer, the dome seemed untouched. He hurled the hammer - perhaps hoping the dome would shatter or collapse, but Tony could have told him that wouldn't work. And it didn't. Mjolnir flew through the energy barrier, smashed a lower floor and returned to Thor's grip without apparently touching the dome at all.

Thor spat a foreign curse word. His breath was fogging in the air, and the clouds were thickening overhead as the temperature drop continued. The radiant heat in the sidewalks and the street was still melting the snow that fell, but it was gathering on the leaves of the trees and in the shadowed corners.

" _Sir, the dome has expanded another one hundred ten meters in diameter_ ," JARVIS reported. " _It's absorbing the energy_."

Thor was about to throw lightning at it again for lack of any other way to hit it, but Tony waved his arms. "No, stop, you're making it stronger!"

Thor lowered the hammer, frowning at the shimmering surface which was now blocking the Helmsley Building in front of the Tower, and probably Grand Central on the other side, too.

Behind the glow there was white frost on every surface. Absolutely nothing moved, and there were no lights or sounds emerging. He saw sculptures of people, frozen in an instant, some caught standing with terrified eyes, some unknowing there was danger at all. On the ground were the shattered remains of other people, who had been caught mid-step. The trees had all turned to ice, like a giant ice-scupting event.

A new voice came on the Avengers line. " _This is Romanoff. I have Barton and Cap in a quinjet on approach_."

"Are you completely stupid? No, no, do not approach. Negative! No way! Stay back!" Tony ordered. "Help the evac. And for God's sake don't touch the dome!" Then he made a mental list. "No, wait. Where's Bruce? Find him. We're gonna need him."

He didn't know how yet, except he'd be willing to bet the Hulk was the only thing that might get through that dome without freezing.

The snow was falling more heavily, large flakes on Thor's long hair and the red cape. Tony turned to look uptown. "How big is the storm, JARVIS?"

" _Satellite imagery shows the storm has begun to create its own low-pressure system, pulling the jet stream south_ ," JARVIS reported. " _The storm is expanding over New Jersey and Connecticut. However the temperature is falling in eastern Ohio and Virginia with no obvious cause_."

That meant there were two spheres of influence- one, the energy dome close to the epicenter, altering everything inside to a lethal degree, and a second wave propagating outward, changing the weather as it went. When he was distracted calculating the rate, Thor seized him around the waist and threw Mjolnir in a rush - hurtling them down the street and away.

Unused to flying by anyone else's power, Tony yelped embarrassingly and stumbled on the landing, nearly toppling into the snow gathering on the sidewalk. He was going to lay into Thor for the rough handling - he could've said something - when he looked over his shoulder. The dome had surged outward two blocks, covering where they had stood only minutes ago.

"Oh. Thanks, Big Hammer."

"One must always be attentive in battle," Thor warned. "Even a battle such as this. It moves at whim."

The clouds were thick, and without the street or building lights, it seemed like night. The dimness made it plain the dome was actively glowing. It shone with a silvery radiance with a touch of that cobalt shimmer Tony remembered from the tesseract and Loki's glowstick. Dark energy, Tony knew that without needing any special sensors.

"How the fuck is this happening?" Tony muttered irritably.

Rather to his surprise, Thor had an answer. "This is the work of an artifact called the Casket of the Ancient Winters. Loki was holding it as he fell. It is making Midgard into another Jotunheim."

Tony shoved that aside as irrelevant. The important part was that this was an artifact of power like the tesseract. "Loki's wielding it?"

Thor shook his head, and frowned worriedly down Park Avenue toward the shimmering energy wall. "I sense no control. He is not its master."

Tony grimaced. Loki wasn't its master because he was unconscious or dead, if the falling, limp body was any clue. Fucking hell, it figured the one time he needed a supervillain to be in control of something, he was all contrary and comatose.

"If anything," Thor added heavily, "it is wielding him."

"Well, that's just great. I can't get close enough to do anything, because it drains the power out of the suit. And you--" Power drain. Energy absorption. He snapped his fingers. "I've got to cut it off from power--"

Thor shook his head in disagreement or puzzlement. "The Casket is an artifact of power, Stark. You cannot turn it off--"

"It's drawing on the ARC reactor. I may not be able to turn it off, but I can sure as hell stop _helping_ it. You should find the others, I'm going to go disconnect the reactor before this gets out of hand."

When he took off, it was already out of hand. Police were out in force, trying to spread the word about evacuation or at least to make people to stay in their homes, but with the power failure, the unseasonable cold, and the widening danger, it was only a matter of time, before fear and greed got the better of some people, he was sure. Plus, as soon as he'd achieved some height, he knew it was already out of hand, because the dome was about two blocks from the river, and if it expanded that far it would cover the reactor and then they were all screwed.

"JARVIS, can you remotely shut down the ARC reactor?" he asked, without much hope that would work, as he flew toward the East River through the falling snow.

" _It does not respond, sir_."

"Didn't think so. Okay, seal the suit, we're going in."

" _Done_."

Tony dove into the water, heading for where the reactor was located. He'd put it in the river to have the cooling of the water in case of any breach, but the water was getting very cold, slushy on top, and he didn't have a lot of time before it froze altogether, without even the energy dome to worry about.

The reactor glowed brightly underwater, sending its energy straight to the artifact. He activated the cutter, talking to JARVIS as he worked on the conduit. "You know, we're going to need a new place to regroup. Now that the tower is a pile of slag."

" _SHIELD offices_ \--"

"Too close. This thing's going to take all of Manhattan at least. Plus, I don't like them. They bomb things, first, last and only resort. Except when they're being secretive assholes. Which is worse. No, not SHIELD.  Someplace else. Someplace mobile," he added, considering that this weather problem might not stop soon.

JARVIS considered and then suggested, " _The yacht, sir_."

The _Maria Stark_ was docked in Newport and right now Tony was really wishing he'd picked a mooring in southern Long Island instead. But it was a good idea. The yacht wasn't super huge, but it was packed full of his gear and it had a helipad on the back end that should hold a quinjet. "Get her out of the river. Whatever it takes. She needs to be at sea ASAP."

" _That will necessitate the reveal that the yacht requires no human crew, sir_."

Tony snorted. "Wow do I not care about that right now. Move it."

There was a short pause and JARVIS reported, " _Underway, sir_."

The indicator came up of an incoming call from Pepper. For an instant he was tempted to ignore it, but then greeted cheerfully, "Hey, honey! How's it going where you are? Still warm, I hope?"

Her face appeared in a tiny corner of the visor, anxious. " _Tony! What's going on? The news says it's snowing in New York? And there's been some sort of attack? On the Tower or from the Tower, or--_ "

He interrupted before she could get too outlandish. "I'm fine. We're fine. The city … not so much. You know how they always say "Winter's coming" on that show, and it doesn't show up? Well, it showed up and it's pissed off." Then when he saw her face, caught between amusement and confusion, that she had no idea how to frame her next question, he answered, "Well, it's winter in July, but caused by an alien artifact."

" _Chitauri_?" she asked.

"I'm gonna go with no. Doesn't seem like their thing." He'd studied a few pieces of Chitauri tech, which he'd hidden from SHIELD's efforts to steal it all, and the bug people had no indication of being able to do anything like this. Plus Thor knew it by name, like the tesseract, and so it had to be a Big Deal artifact.

" _What are you doing_?" she asked, frowning as she glanced at something on her screen. " _Why are you in the East River_?"

"Disconnecting the reactor from the Tower. Which is… a pile of frozen junk, by the way."

" _I know. The news keeps looping the collapse. People are speculating you did something_."

"Well, that's bull. But not a shock I guess. Tell them it wasn't me, it was--" he was about to say it was Loki, and then held his tongue and said, "it was from space, okay?" He cut through the housing and pulled it off. "Got some work to do. I'll call you later, okay?"

" _Stay safe. Love you_." She disconnected and he regarded his glowing creation warily. Time to turn it off and pull it.

JARVIS reported, " _The dome's edge has reached First Avenue, sir. It is less than one kilometer away_."

Correction: Time to turn it off and pull it. Quickly.

* * *

tbc... 

(and this story is not entirely in Tony's POV he just has the opening chapters because of the nature of the attack. We'll see others, too!) 

 


	4. Ill news

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> We go back to Svartalfheim now, to pick up the other threads from the end of "Hail of Shadows". yes, there is some messing about with various canons here.

 

 

* * *

In Svartalfheim, Frigga crept out of the secret exit from the dark elf capital and started toward the Frost Giant army, looking for her other companions and Skadi. Sigyn stayed at her side, and Hogun at her back, to keep a wary eye on the elves and giants. Sif, Volstagg, and Fandral spotted her and raced through the crowd to rejoin her.

Keen eyes immediately noted the lack of the one she had entered to fetch, and Volstagg's heavy brows drew down in concern. "My queen? You could not find Loki?"

"He was there," she confirmed. "And now he is not. But wait, I will tell the tale once when Skadi can hear."

Skadi was not long to follow. "Queen of Asgard? You come back alone?"

Frigga looked up in the worried scarlet eyes. "Alas, I have ill news. Malekith was suborned by the shade of Thanos, and held Loki prisoner. But now Loki is thrust beyond our reach, to Midgard."

Skadi raised her ice weapon and glowered at the knot of captured elves. "And those creatures, what did they do?"

Frigga remembered a narrow stone altar and broken chains, and could not answer, but Sigyn spoke, "Much harm, giantess."

Skadi's ruby eyes glared at her. "And what do you know of it, dark elf worm?"

Frigga held up both hands in a quelling gesture. "This is Sigyn, Skadi, our ally. She has helped Loki, and he himself told me to protect her."

Skadi reluctantly subsided and lowered her ice blade again. "Then, speak. Princess."

Sigyn frowned curiously up at her. "You lead the jotnar, Lady Skadi? You were Laufey's mate and wife, yes?"

"I am no lady, princess. But yes, I was, briefly in a time long ago, Laufey's mate. And Loki's mother." She glanced at Frigga and amended, "I birthed him. For this lady was his mother far longer."

Frigga looked up at her face, surprised and gratified by the acknowledgment. She resolved to bring them together. Loki should know her and it might ease his heart to learn that she had not chosen to abandon him.

"His mother?" Sigyn repeated in amazement, looking from Frigga to Skadi. "Both of you? Then truly he has been blessed. I now understand from whence came his strength and his wit."

Frigga suppressed a smile. Sigyn might be Malekith's sister, but she had learned that honey from somewhere.

Skadi pretended she was not flattered and insisted shortly, "I doubt he felt much blessed in that rat nest. How did Loki fare?"

Fandral added, "Poorly enough you turned on your own brother, I suspect."

Sigyn's eyes flicked down in shame but she squared her shoulders and she looked up again. "Yes. Malekith has always been cruel, but Thanos was worse. My heart could not withstand it."

But Sif cut in then, "Forgive me, my queen, but if Loki is beyond our reach, there seems little point in discussing this right now. There are yet hundreds of Svartalfen prisoners and a jotnar who mill about in confusion. What do we do with them?"

"Let the prisoners go," Frigga said.

"Release prisoners won in battle?" Skadi retorted in shock.

"Were those children in battle?" Frigga asked pointedly. "They were fleeing the frostfire, not engaging in battle. Truly, Skadi, it was madness below with frostfire spreading unchecked."

Sigyn explained with a sad shake of her head, "Your attack was meant to draw Thanos away, to defend the halls, but he did not care. And I needed to bring the Casket to Loki, so I could help little myself. Malekith does not suffer other sorcerers who might challenge his power, so there was no one else with power enough to stop it."

"Let them go," Frigga repeated. "We have done what we came for – Loki is free of Thanos and Malekith. And they are defeated."

"Please let them go," Sigyn pleaded with Skadi. "Keep the warriors if you wish, but the others are innocent. They had no part in capturing Loki or in this war."

"We came to free Loki, and he is free. We came to avenge your fallen warriors, and they are avenged. There is no need to slaughter children," Frigga urged.

Skadi hesitated. "I suppose, if Odin Borsson can save my child, I can do no less."

"Thank you," Sigyn said gratefully.

"Come hither with me, princess, and comfort them," Skadi ordered. "They seem fearful of my kind."

They strode away, blue giant and white-haired elf, headed for the prisoners. Frigga watched, amused and pleased by the sight, before her smile faded.

"Midgard?" Fandral asked when they had gone. "Why does that trouble you? He went to join Thor, did he not?"

Frigga shook her head once. "It was by Thanos' choice, not Loki's. They fought and Thanos' counter attack was to force him through a portal to Midgard. While I hope that happened by accident or mistake, I fear it was by fell design. Thanos does very little without strategy. But-" she inhaled and tried to push away her worry, "there is nothing to do until we have news, and this mess needs sorting first."

Sif's gaze also followed the odd pair as they headed away. "What of Sigyn?" Sif asked. "Is this all a ploy to bring us to pity her people?"

"Loki told me her help was true," Frigga said. "And I think she was not motivated by pity alone."

Volstagg knew her meaning and his smiled brightened. "He deserves the epithet of Silvertongue for truth then, if he not only persuaded her to help, but to fall for him."

"They have much in common," Frigga murmured, thinking that betrayal of their own kin was just one more thing to bind them together. "And she has a healing way about her."

"She seems too soft for Loki," Sif said.

"You think it is weak to be compassionate in a household led by Durn and Malekith, who taught only cruelty?" Frigga countered. Sif glanced down, abashed. "No, there is strength in her. But she will accept him for who he is, and that is a grace he has been not much granted." She watched Sigyn and Skadi in deepening discussions and argument with other jotnar about the prisoners. "I should help. Thor and Loki must manage Midgard on their own; we shall throw our neutrality and our wisdom at this present tangle."

While Frigga was on her way, Sigyn's eyes suddenly blanked and she turned her head toward the halls. She was frozen like that long enough Frigga moved near her and lifted a hand to check what summoned her, but then Sigyn blinked and returned to herself. She stumbled a step, and Frigga caught her arm to keep her balanced.

Sigyn's eyes met hers, wide now, and Frigga could feel her shaking. "Malekith has awakened," she said. "He is... angry. Furious at the Jotnar. And Thanos. And me."

Frigga was disappointed that Malekith seemed to have learned nothing from his possession. "And?"

Sigyn swallowed. "He intends to summon Kurse home."

Jorl heard that and snorted. "Good. My blade will taste his blood if he dares return."

Sigyn shook her head urgently. "He will return with our army. Not this paltry gathering here," she waved a hand at the prisoners. "Not those too infirm or weak or young to take to Asgard, but the prime warriors of our army, five thousand strong. He returns in the attack ship. It has a stardrive portal, and can return wherever Malekith wishes."

The warriors turned to survey the field. The war had been fairly bloodless thus far; but five thousand Svartalfen and a warship would change that.

"But we hold prisoners," Fandral pointed out. "Surely we should negotiate some bargain to release them?"

Sigyn shook her head once. "Any you still hold will be considered sacrificed. No one will hold back on their account. And if he gets the opportunity, Malekith will kill any warriors he recovers from your captivity, as cowards and tainted." She swallowed. "As … you have tainted me."

The Aesir exchanged a glance, appalled by the idea that Malekith would make no attempt to rescue the prisoners or parley for their release.

Frigga patted her shoulder. "You are not tainted, Sigyn. You are free." But she knew that reassurance must be hollow to her; if Malekith would kill the warriors, what would he do to the sister who had betrayed him? "We need to remove you from his reach."

"We should all go," Sigyn declared. "There is nothing more for you here."

"We will not flee like a beaten cur!" Jorl growled, and found unexpected ally in Volstagg and Sif, who nodded agreement.

"We should fight them, and defeat them."

"No!" Sigyn objected. "You are only two hundred against five thousand. Kurse will press you against the canyon walls."

"One Jotunn is worth five of you elves," Skadi declared.

Sigyn raised her eyebrows, in a skeptical look so reminiscent of Loki that Frigga wanted to chuckle. "And are you each worth twenty-five? I do not doubt you are all very brave and strong, but you have few numbers and little power."

She was right, but no one wanted to acknowledge the truth.

"The last time we faced Svartalfheim in open battle, Asgard killed more than that," Volstagg said.

"Loki did," Sigyn corrected. "And he is not here. Thor is not here. Unless the Allfather sends aid, you are overmatched, and will soon be surrounded."

When Frigga suddenly found herself the recipient of hopeful gazes at the idea of Odin sending aid, she had to shake her head in firm negative. "He will not. Not while Thanos still lurks outside Jormungandr and seeks the treasures held in Asgard."

Fandral twirled his sword, "I am loath to retreat from promised battle, and truly, princess, you underestimate our skill."

Sigyn smiled at him, Fandral's charm working on her as well, but then the smile vanished and she warned, "Malekith learned to duplicate the spell Loki used against us in the battle that killed my father. It took him twenty years to develop a version fit for his own power. He will not hesitate to burn you all, to avenge his defeat and salvage his pride."

Sif and Hogun exchanged a glance; they had been there to see the wave of bright death sweep across the field, with time only for the enemy warriors to scream before they fell. Loki had done it by mistake; to think Malekith had recreated something similar deliberately was horrifying.

"I would not choose to defend against such a spell unprepared," Frigga said. She would have time to cast only one shield, and if she chose wrongly, it would go ill for their company. "We should move farther from the canyon, at the least."

That compromise was enough for the moment. The giants released the children and their civilian minders, before starting to herd everyone else away from the cliffs, slowly pushing the catapult before them.

Frigga watched their back, worried that Malekith would cast something against them now that he was awake. Sigyn walked with her and caught sight of one of her glances back, and reassured, "I will defend, I promise."

"And I will defend you," Frigga promised. Sigyn was the one in the most danger, since Malekith would likely target her specifically.

A whisper of power and brief coldness warned her and she looked upward, as Munin arrived again. This time he did not leisurely glide downward, but folded his wings to dive to her. Nor did he waste time begging for treats, announcing the moment he perched on her hand: "Kurse departs Asgard, intending to crush you between. The Allfather commands you to withdraw from Svartalfheim at once."

Frigga felt only relief. Another time and another place she might be irritated at the peremptory command, but this time she was glad that she could look to the king's authority and move a bunch of stubborn giants and Aesir out of likely defeat. "Volstagg! Fetch Skadi and Jorl. The Allfather commands our departure. Before war falls upon us once more."

Frigga unsheathed her sword. "Sigyn, I would appreciate your assistance."

Sigyn practically bounced to her side with her eagerness – to leave or be helpful, Frigga wasn't sure. It was endearing though. "To cast a portal? Yes. Of course."

The Frost Giants, and her own warriors, were reluctant to go, vowing that they could fight off the Svartalfen, but Frigga was unmoved. "If you wish to stay, then you will stay alone. I will not gainsay the king's command in this. There is no reason to stay, other than foolish pride."

Sif stepped forward and nodded her head. "I gave oath to go with you, my queen." Then she turned, weapon in hand, to guard Frigga as she cast the portal.

Skadi glanced at Jorl, both reluctant to depart, but then she declared, "We have won this battle. Malekith's halls are a ruin, and Loki is free. We have shown Malekith our Realm is not dismissed so easily. If he should chase us to our homes, he will find us ready to fight."

Jorl nodded and ordered his warriors, with a gesture at the remaining prisoners, "They remain here. Cut them loose when we go. The rest, be ready to depart, and watch our flanks."

Frigga was glad that was done and put them all out of her mind as she raised her sword. "Sigyn, you have more familiarity with your Realm. You anchor."

Sigyn's hand closed over hers, to join them together. Then, after a deep breath to firm her resolve, she dropped the illusion on her features.

"You are so very brave," Frigga murmured to her and tightened her fingers around Sigyn's. Sigyn didn't answer, closing her eyes and reaching for the center of Svartalfheim to anchor one end of the portal to Yggdrasil. Frigga took what Sigyn held out for her to weave the strands. It was quicker this time, yet she was still only about half done when the entire structure trembled as if blown by a fierce wind.

"They're here," Sigyn whispered and her green eyes opened, flicking about in alarm.

Frigga paused her making, holding the threads in abeyance, and called, "Sif! Hogun! They've come!"

Her warning was drowned out and turned unnecessary, as the sky tore open to the north and the giant Dark Elf warship emerged on a thunderous roar that rattled the ground. Her first thought was a darkly amused, ' _you want to stay and combat_ this?'

Though quite a distance away, it towered over the plain, as tall as the highest tower of Asgard, sleek and menacing as something from the deepest of caverns. One by one, smaller ships began to peel away from it, launching into the air and moving into their attack formation. 

Frigga's hand tightened on the hilt of her sword and she inhaled a deeper, settling breath. This was going to be close.

 

* * *

 

As Thor helped his friends encourage the humans to flee or seek shelter, while being uncertain there was a safe place for either, Thor kept watch on the dome. It had spread again, casting its deadly cold across more people.

But even as he mourned those who were lost, he wondered about the one in the center. The image of his brother falling helplessly from the sky and smashing into Stark's tower kept replaying in his memory.

_Loki, you have to take control and stop this. No one else can wield the Casket and end it. What did Malekith do to you? Do you live yet?_

That was the worst part. He had no idea if Loki was alive in there. He knew that Loki must have been alive when the Casket had been activated, but after that? Perhaps the Casket was reacting to the death of its last blood-bound wielder, or perhaps this was the end result of Loki trying to use the Casket to escape and being overwhelmed. Loki's fall had been limp, and Thor had not been able to get near enough to know whether he was unconscious or dead.

But he knew someone who would. He stopped what he was doing, and tipped his head back to bellow, "Heimdall!! Tell Mother! She has to reach him."

She was probably the only one who could.

"Thor!" Natasha hurried up to him. She had found a coat from somewhere, perhaps the shops that lined the street, to wear against the bitter cold that had settled on the city. "Clint says the dome's reached Rockefeller Center."

Steve trotted at her heels, keeping a wary eye where the dome shimmered in the darkness. "It'll cover all of Manhattan by tomorrow, if this keeps up." He shook his head with his mouth a grim line.

"We've got to stop it," she said, fists tight at her sides.

"First we get people safe," Steve declared. "Then--" He silenced himself as Natasha lifted a hand to quiet him, pressing her receiver to her ear to listen.

"Are you kidding me?" she demanded and tipped her head back to look up at the sky.

Thor saw nothing, but he heard the high-pitched whine of their flying craft going very fast.

"What the hell are they doing?" Steve demanded.

"They're bombing Stark Tower," she answered. "Two cruise missiles from a sub; the jets are--"

Thor didn't hear the rest. Bombing the Tower. "NO! LOKI!" he bellowed and threw Mjolnir high in the sky.

The small jets swooped across. He was fast enough to track the missiles as they came from the east, but he was too slow to intercept. He could only watch as the missiles penetrated the dome. His heart seized with anxiety that these weapons of the Midgardians might succeed and kill his brother.

He understood their need to stop this harm and felt sorrowful for them when the missiles' fiery tails quenched as they passed through the dome. They tumbled from the sky, inert tubes of metal. He let out a breath of relief as the missiles were far short of Stark Tower.

In apparent reaction, the dome flared white, and for a moment, he hoped it had ended. Probably the whole city hoped the dome had fallen. But when the flash disappeared it was worse than before -- the dome had visibly expanded in size again.

He returned to Rogers and Romanoff, who were another block south from where he had left them. Landing heavily in the snow, he went to meet them, shaking his head.

"The missiles penetrated the shield and fell," he reported. "I believe they powered another expansion."

"Damn it," Rogers swore. He turned away, hand at his ear for the comm device to harangue SHIELD about its foolishness.

Natasha's eyes were sharp on Thor, though. "You said Loki, before you took off. Why?"

He explained, "He fell through the portal with an artifact called the Casket of the Ancient Winters. I believe he must have escaped his captivity with it. The Casket is what powers this spell."

"Loki's doing this?" Rogers turned back to him, incredulous.

Thor shook his head again. "No. The storm is wild. Either its power has overcome him, or," he glanced at the dome, gleaming in the wintry darkness through the light snowfall, "or, he is dead."

Rogers understandably focused on the problem at hand, not acknowledging Thor's potential loss. "So how do we stop it? What about Mjolnir? I thought you could control the weather?" Rogers asked, nodding at the hammer.

Thor first nodded because he _could_ control the weather, and then had to shake his head negative, because he could do nothing with _this_. He glanced up at the storm deepening above. "While I could clear a small area, I can do nothing with the Casket itself. Any attempt to alter it, may merge their powers. The Casket is a great ravenous beast taking all forms of energy within itself, and if it swallows Mjolnir...." He trailed off, not sure exactly what would happen, but five thousand Svartalfen killed in a breath suggested it would not be good. He shook his head. 

"There has to be some way to stop it," Natasha said.

"To my knowledge only Loki himself can control it."

"Well, he's not, so what then?" Rogers asked.

"I presume it will continue until it finishes its task or expends all of its energy." Thor glanced at the shining dome. "I hope my parents will send a message to share their understanding while Loki is unavailable. But they were last under attack by Svartalfheim, so I do not know when they may be able to help."

That settled Rogers down, and he grimaced at the dome before he shook his head in resignation. "We've got no choice then, we keep doing what we're doing, until we can't do it anymore or somebody has a better idea."

Thor had to agree with that, and so, it seemed, did Romanoff, though he noticed she glanced toward the remains of the Tower with a sharp look as if contemplating how best to get in there and end the threat.

But as there seemed no possibility of her success, he turned away to assist Rogers and the people of Earth to evade this evil brought among them again.

* * *

tbc...

 


	5. A green thread

Grim at the sight of the enemy gathering, Frigga turned back to the portal to finish the weave. She grabbed everything Sigyn offered, bound the powers, and wove. It was hasty and not as large as she had hoped, but at last she tied it off and it was done.

Jotunheim looked dim and cold on the other side, but also empty. She had put the portal at the base of the ridge where Odin had found Loki, it was a new place and should be clear of ambush, though any waiting giants would not take long to find it.

Sigyn held her arm, as light-headed, she swayed, and Sigyn was the one to call out, "It is done! Hurry!"

Word was passed, and Sigyn tried to urge her into the portal but Frigga resisted going in first. "No, Sigyn, what if Malekith sends against them? They'll need help."

"Lady Sigyn is right," Sif said. "We go through first."

"I should stay--" Frigga protested.

"I would do anything for you, my lioness," Volstagg said, "but you know how wroth the king would be with us, if you stayed and were hurt? Or Thor?"

Fandral laughed. "No, no, Volstagg. I would rather face both of them than Loki. At least they would only kill us. My lady," he bowed to Sigyn, "I hope you never hide such beauty from us again. My queen. I will scout." He leaped through the portal, followed swiftly by Hogun.

Sigyn stared after him, stunned by the compliment, until the roar of Frost Giants fighting pulled her back. When Frigga looked eastward, she saw the Svartalfar small craft had begun their attack run.

Munin, sitting on her shoulder, nudged her cheek with his head. "Go. Now."

Those craft, more agile, darted across the field, firing at the giants. The giants seemed to be thrown and stunned by the dark elf blasts, as she saw them rise again after being hit. Jorl formed and threw an ice lance, spearing one ship directly in the cockpit. It spun out of control and struck two more of its wing-mates before plowing into the ground not far from where Frigga stood.

Sigyn held up both hands, ready to shield them from any explosion, but that turned out to be not the danger. The smaller fighters were concentrating their fire on the fringes of the Frost Giants, picking off those that were too far. Eastward, another larger ship had separated from the mothership and was now heading their way, with a ponderous grace.

Sigyn followed her glance and explained, "Ground troops."

Frigga saw the strategy immediately that they would all be herded into a knot for the ground troops to destroy. "Skadi!" Frigga shouted. "Jorl! This way! Don't let them cut you off!"

Fortunately those two warriors saw that their situation had become untenable and started yelling their warriors to retreat toward the portal.

On the other side of the portal, Fandral caught her eye and gestured her to come through. Not that it mattered what the situation was like on the other side, since they had to leave.

"Now go," Munin repeated. "Dark elf king knows you stand here."

"My queen, after you," Sif gestured with her glaive fully extended and shining, and her eyes scarcely less bright as she watched the approaching Svartalfen ground troops run down the ramp before it was fully down, heading straight for them as if the Frost Giants were not there. They had been targeted - either because of the Aesir or Sigyn, or perhaps even Frigga herself if she had been identified.

Then, surprising Frigga with her daring, Sigyn's hand grabbed her wrist. "Your grace, now. You cannot be here." She pulled Frigga into the portal.

Stumbling through to the other side, Frigga slipped on the ice, immediately chilled by the wind. Munin was launched off her shoulder with a caw, and Frigga grabbed tightly to Sigyn, and Sif's hand gripped her elbow tightly, somehow managing to keep them all on their feet. "We need to move!" Sif shouted above the fierce wind.

Frost Giants appeared behind them, pushing them out of the way, and Frigga pulled Sigyn to the side to clear the portal from the much larger giants running through.

When they had found a bit of shelter behind a stone, Fandral and Hogun joined them. Sigyn hugged herself and raised the hood of her thin cloak to cover her head. "Oh goodness, it's so cold! I thought the stories exaggerated."

Fandral stripped his fur-lined cape and hung it around her shoulders. "Princess. For you."

"But, I -- but you need it," she objected, even while she wrapped it around herself.

"Ah, princess, fighting warms the blood, I hardly feel the wind at all," Fandral returned, which was a lie, but Frigga could scarcely call him on it, when she could feel Sigyn shivering next to her. They would all move to the warmer spot as soon as the portal could close and his chivalry wouldn't get him killed.

Though if he tried to charm Sigyn away from Loki, Frigga would have to talk to him. While he would be utterly scrupulous about respecting her wishes, he was not so scrupulous about seducing admirers away from Loki or Thor. Half the time he never meant anything by it, it was just his way, but she wanted him to stay away while Loki was gone.

But those were idle thoughts for later, in peace time, not while there was still battle.

Frost giants were plunging through the portal, one by one, bottled up by the narrowness of the passage. A few fell through, wounded, and a dark elf blast shot through the portal and slammed into another warrior on the other side.

Sif jumped in front of her, shield ready to take any other stray blasts.

At which point Frigga realized, there was one missing. "Sif! Where is Volstagg?"

Sif's head swung around, also surprised, but she didn't see him either. "Still on Svartalfheim!"

"No." Frigga's gaze held the shining portal and she whispered, "Please, old friend…"

Yet, as Frost Giant after Frost Giant shoved through the portal, there was not a sign of the burly warrior.

"I will go back--" Hogun volunteered.

"No," she ordered. "No, you mustn't block the gate. Volstagg must make his own way through."

_Please, old friend, glory of battle is one thing, but do not die here, not now, not when I still need you, when your wife and your children still need you…_

On Svartalfheim the battle still raged, though Frigga only caught glimpses of it through the stray blasts that came through the portal. Frost Giants pushed their way through the portal back home to freezing Jotunheim. Some were wounded and were pulled to safety and tending.

And still Volstagg didn't come. Frigga opened her mouth to call Munin to her and send him to Svartalfheim to see where he was, when two silver-and-black armored, white-haired Dark Elves jumped through the portal. The Frost Giants roared and attacked, but they were too slow as Volstagg's axe took their heads from behind before the rest of his body had crossed the threshold.

He was bloodied, beard and armor and axe, and he leaped to the side to avoid another group of dark elves pursuing him.

"Shut it, the others are fallen!" he yelled, spying her.

Before Frigga could so much as raise her hands, she felt the spinning threads react to Sigyn's will, as the girl pulled her contribution from the weave all at once. The threads frayed and snapped, turning wild with extra energy now unbound. The whole mess exploded in a shock wave that slammed them flat.

Frigga lifted her torso up, shaking her head to clear it. Sif had taken the brunt of it, smacked down on her back. The Frost Giants had all been stunned, many shoved off their feet, and in the middle, near ground zero, both Volstagg and the Svartalfar invaders had been thrown hard and did not stir. Frigga turned her head to find Sigyn, who was - somehow - still standing. How was she still standing? Had she done this for some fell purpose, weaponizing the portal's destruction, harming those who thought they were her allies? Was this some sort of trick?

But then Sigyn looked down at her, and asked with an unsteady grin that seemed more surprised than malicious, "Is that not how you close portals on Asgard?"

Frigga had to laugh. "No, dear, usually there is less… explosive potential. Let us check on Sif and Volstagg…" Sif was already rousing and waved them away that she was well.

The Frost Giants ended the Elves who had tried to cross while they lay stunned on the field, and Frigga made her way to Volstagg as he roused with Jorl's hand carefully clasping his vambrace to pull him to his feet. "You fought fierce, little Aesir." Jorl nodded to him in respect and walked away.

Frigga smiled at the 'little' appellation, since no one had called Volstagg little since he'd been a child, but Volstagg took it well, shouldering his axe and calling after Jorl, "You, as well, you great big oaf of a warlord!"

Frigga shook her head at him. "You are well, old friend? Need you any healing for your hurts?"

"Nay, my lioness. Only my pride hurt for allowing those dark elves through at all."

"Then I think you have plenty to spare," she told him dryly. She called Munin to her. "You must return to the Allfather. Report that we are all safe on Jotunheim."

Munin launched from her forearm and in seconds, vanished through his tiny portal. As soon as he was gone, Frigga lowered her gaze and saw Sigyn shivering. "Come, we should move to a more sheltered place. It will grow colder soon."

"Colder?" Sigyn asked in dismay and pulled Fandral's cloak even more tightly around herself. "Is that possible?"

"Oh yes, things can and will grow colder. Since the Casket of Ancient Winters was taken, the weather on Jotunheim is unpredictable and chill."

"But wouldn't the Casket make it colder?" Sigyn asked curiously.

"The one who wields the casket determines its function," Frigga answered. "Here, they used it to make the weather more predictable and more temperate, though never warm. Once they grew grain in the valley where the river ran with water in the summer, not with a thousand years of glacial ice." She gestured to the east where the valley sat below the ancient capital.

Sigyn looked around at the piles of snow and ice. "I cannot imagine this place with grass," she confessed.

"Come with me, child, and I will show you a wonder." Frigga led Sigyn through the ruins of the old city out toward the edge to the pillars of crystalline ice that marked the entrance to the lake of ice and the stars it reflected. It was the only place in all of Jotunheim where the clouds parted to display the sky.

Sigyn stepped out onto the ice, between the pillars, and looked up. Her green eyes were aglow with the beauty of it. "The Casket made this. Loki made this, I feel his echo," she told Frigga, who nodded and smiled. "It's glorious." Sigyn twirled slowly, her arms outstretched, fingers trailing and tangling in the seiðr that formed here in icy threads. Beneath her feet, a glow formed in the ice. A rainbow shimmer flowed outward from the touch of her feet, within the ice, making swirls and sunburst patterns.

Frigga glanced aside to see the giants were gathering to watch what she was doing. The shimmering iridescence spread through the ice, darting up inside the pillars until they glowed from within with soft shifting radiance.

"What is she doing?" Skadi asked bending near. She was possibly trying to whisper, her voice low for a Frost Giant, even if everyone probably heard her.

Frigga had thought Sigyn might be trying to expand the ice, but it seemed she was only enjoying the feel of the warmer air and the beauty and the threads of power twining around her. "I think, Skadi, that she is _dancing_."

Skadi made a skeptical noise as if she didn't see the point, but saw no harm in it. She kept watching anyway, and the others watched, too, enraptured by the light and the touch of new magic as light and color strengthened in this dim place. When Sigyn twirled to a stop, some of the brightness faded, but the gleam still lingered in the pillars and beneath where she stood. Frigga could feel the way her power and Loki's had combined-- Loki's connection to this Realm and Aesir-taught strength was now braided with the alien magic of Sigyn mixed blood into something new, something no one of a single power could hope to unmake. All around, Frost Giants and Aesir stood in peace, together, to watch a maiden of the alfar.

Frigga smiled. Odin had feared that Loki would bring the destruction of the Nine, but in his fear, he had forgotten that the same word meant rebirth. From cold it would rise, and the old ways would crumble and fall. But that did not mean something new could not take their place. 

It was only a short time later, Munin returned in a flash of light and leisurely winged down to settle on Frigga's forearm.

"What news so soon?" she asked in concern and held out a hazelnut, but pulled it back when Munin reached for it. "After your message."

Munin's cocked his head and delicately stepped closer. "To Loki you must reach," he said. "His spirit wanders in dark places, and the Casket holds him fast. It seeks to make Midgard into Jotunheim with icy death, and he is too lost to halt it. Thor hopes he will hear you."

"Oh ancestors," she breathed in horror. This was Thanos' play, to turn Loki and his weapon against Midgard; to destroy both together.

Sif demanded in confusion, "But I thought Loki was escaping Thanos."

Sigyn moved close to Frigga and rested a gentle hand on her arm. Frigga, usually the one offering comfort, felt strengthened by the touch. "He was hurt, Lady Sif."

"What happened?" Frigga asked. Sigyn looked away, biting her lip. "Sigyn, please, I need to know all of it."

"Seat yourself, then." Sigyn urged her to the stone and Munin worked himself beneath Frigga's arm to roost on Frigga's lap. Frigga stroked him, the weight of the raven and his black feathers reminding her of Loki as a baby. So long ago, when he'd been tiny, she'd amused him with tiny dancing flames and soothed him to sleep with her fingers in his thick hair.

She didn't want to find out how Loki had been tortured, but she knew she had to hear and know what trouble she faced. Sif and Hogun joined them in close to hear, also.

Sigyn took a moment to gather her thoughts and wrapped her arms around herself, before she found her voice and related the tale to the Aesir. "At first, my brother hurt him with cursed implements. He whipped and bled him; he thought he could alter the blood-bond to control the Casket himself. Then he poisoned Loki with meat broth so he would weaken. He did all those things each day, but Loki remained defiant." Her lips lifted in a soft smile, and her hands smoothed her skirt as she remembered. Frigga shut her eyes imagining it all too well. She had seen Malekith's victims in the previous war, and the only surprise was that Malekith had known of Loki's affliction.

Sigyn's smile faded as the memory continued. "Malekith was frustrated his torture was ineffective. Loki taunted him, and seemed that he would never yield as he was far more afraid of Thanos than anything Malekith might do."

Frigga didn't interrupt, but her hands tightened their grip on each other in her lap. She had understood the depth of his anger and rage at Thanos for using him, but this fear was ominous. It gave Thanos too much power over him.

Sigyn continued, "So Malekith called on his patron. I cannot believe he _wanted_ what Thanos did; to have his shade infiltrate Malekith's bodily shell, but that is what he did." She raised her hands to her face, ashamed and distressed by the knowledge that her brother had been so foolish to court such an enemy.

Frigga touched her hand. "Thanos has great power in many areas, Sigyn. Powers of the mind are one of his strengths."

Sigyn nodded and inhaled a deep breath to continue. "So Thanos came. I did not see it happen, but in the aftermath I saw that he had shattered Loki's legs at the knees."

Frigga's hand went to her chest, as her heart caught. Munin nudged her, coaxing her hand back to smooth his feathers.

"That… should be impossible," Sif said, startled, her head swinging to look at Frigga in confusion. "How could Malekith, or Thanos controlling another's body do that?"

"Fear," Frigga answered in a murmur. "Fear weakens the immortal power of our souls. It is why we train so relentlessly, to combat fear from being our enemy."

Sigyn nodded sad agreement. "I helped to reset his legs and start them healing again, but Thanos had him dragged by his wrists through the halls to the depths of Malekith's work room. There, he chained Loki to Malekith's altar and gave him terrible visions in his mind, false memories and nightmares turned real." Her hands fisted atop her legs, clutching at the fabric, and she whispered, "He believed Thanos was breaking him within and he begged me to kill him so he could not falter and bring Thanos into the Nine Realms."

It was all too easy to imagine Loki on that narrow stone, desperate and willing to die. There was still that fissure within him, that he could not believe his worth.

"I persuaded him that I could retrieve the Casket instead," Sigyn finished. "Which I did, but our plan fell apart when Thanos would not leave him. I did not see their battle nor the portal. I am sorry."

Frigga patted her hand. "This is not knowledge I would wish on anyone, but I am glad you are here to tell me. Now I must reach Loki, and help him find his way back and command the Casket again." Her eyes touched Sigyn, Sif, and Hogun. "You must stay aware. I will be unable to sense anything here as I look for him."

Somber, they nodded and promised to take care. Sigyn offered, holding out her hand, "I will serve as anchor, if you wish."

With a grateful smile, Frigga took her cold fingers in her own. "Yes, that would help. Thank you, my dear."

She closed her eyes and and drew breath deliberately, to calm herself for the task ahead. How many times had she done this when he had fallen in the void? Then she had feared his death; this time she feared that Thanos had altered his mind into something unrecognizable.

She sought the echo of his power that lingered here in this void on the inside of the universe, the green thread that she could follow back to him. As she drew nearer, it shone brightly with the power of the Casket in use. It was a gleaming beacon so brilliant it was surely visible through all the Realms like another star. She drew closer, and the Casket's power became a storm, fierce and howling, seeking to prevent her from reaching the treasure within. As she pushed against the power that resisted her, she glimpsed memories swirling in the morass, images that taunted her with familiarity, seeking to draw her away. 

Still, she was queen of Asgard and that was her son inside this swirling chaos, and she would not be refused by wild power. She held onto that green thread and made her will was a blade, passing through the buffeting winds. She emerged into stillness. The winds were no more, the power a faint ember within this silent core.

None of it was real, or at least none was any less real than a dream. There was featureless nothingness beyond her, darkness impenetrable, lit by no star. But in this nothing, there was ... something. Despite the lack of even the smallest candle-flame in this netherscape, she saw Loki lying upon a narrow platform that seemed to be wrought of the same crystal as the walls of the Casket. He was not as he was today grown to maturity, nor did he wear his Jotunn coloring, but rather he lay as the boy he had been once, her springtime sapling cut down and pale as death.

But he was not dead, because all of this was his creation. This was one final barrier, a shell of his own making to encase and preserve a fragile spirit so it would not be swept into the Casket's power and lost.

" _Loki_?" she called.

He did not answer, trapped inside circles of pain and despair and nightmare, as the Casket pulled his strength from him.  She needed to bring him out. A shell was also a prison if it remained unbroken.

She knelt at his side and set her hand on his forehead to call him forth. " _Loki, little one, feel me. I am here. Reach for me_."

There was no reply.

She redoubled her effort to push away the encroaching dark and reach him. " _Loki, hear me. Where are you_?"

He stirred, blinking and then turned his face to see her, as his expression crumpled with pain. He looked so young, his eyes full of anguish, as he whispered, " _Amma, help me..."_

* * *

tbc...

 

 (more on Fri, I just had most of this ready so, bonus! :D


	6. Puny God

Tony and the rest of the Avengers gathered on the deck of the _Maria Stark_ , with a great view of the horror to the north and west. The dome was now five miles in diameter, covering most of Manhattan, and it was visible far out to sea like a brand new cityscape, but all the same blue-tinged light rising like an impossibly high wall, through the darkness of power failure and overcast sky.

Everything under that dome was a winter wasteland, the people were frozen solid and it was utterly still. Outside of that, it was tremendously cold and snowing and dark, but people were still being evacuated from the edges as much as possible. Underground, it turned out, didn't help. The dome bisected the Lincoln Tunnel and had made evacuation through it impossible, and the river beneath and near the dome was solid ice. Tony thought the subway and trains might have made things worse because the Casket had drawn on that power as well.

The dome's expansion had slowed with the removal of the ARC reactor from the system, but then SHIELD had tried to bomb it twice more, despite Tony yelling at them for being stupid, and that had powered the expansion to its current state. It had finally come to some equilibrium, and the dome's expansion had stopped. That unfortunately did not mean the spread of winter had slowed, however, as temperatures in the northern hemisphere were falling and unseasonable storms were building over the pole and Siberia already.

Tony turned away from the dome to face the others, which included Bruce who had finally made his way to them. "There must be a way to stop it. Do you think the Green Rage Monster could get through the dome? You shouldn't be so affected by the cold."

Bruce made a face. "That--" he waved a hand, "isn't just cold, though, is it? I mean, it looks as if it's bringing down everything's quantum state. I don't know if the Other Guy could handle that. But even if I could, what would I do?"

"You go in there and you kill the son of the bitch doing this," Clint suggested.

Tony's eyes went to Thor at the threat, but it appeared Thor was too weary or worried to be angry. He stood at the railing looking at the dome, but at the words turned and insisted, "He is not doing this. I have said it before, and it remains true: this storm is not within his control."

"Yeah, he wasn't conscious when he fell, Barton," Tony had to confirm that one. "I would guess his enemy, that Makelith--"

"Malekith," Thor corrected.

Tony didn't stop, "--whatever, threw him and the box through as a weapon."

"That may be," Natasha said, "but what other choice do we have? There are thousands of people already dead. We have to stop it."

Thor folded his arms, which made him look even bigger. "And if killing him makes it worse?" Thor asked.

"Worse? How the hell could it be _worse_?" Tony demanded.

"I have told you, the Casket is blood-bound to him. He is the last of that bloodline. Artifacts bonded to a particular bloodline tend to react poorly when they have no one left." He pointed Mjolnir toward the dome. "The Casket of the Ancient Winters could crack this world to its core or unmoor it from Yggdrasil. I do not know what it may do, but I suggest you not test it."

"But we have to do _something_ ," Steve said, voice cracking in his frustration. "We know where the problem is, we can't get to it."

"But even if we could, we still don't know what to do," Bruce pointed out.

Tony tired of them repeating the same useless information again and looked back at the dome, hoping for new inspiration about what to do. How could he draw energy away from it? He could -- wait. He blinked, wondering if he was seeing what he thought he was seeing. "Hey guys? Look." He re-activated the facemask of the suit to have access to the visual sensors. "JARVIS, magnify. What's happening?"

It was pretty obvious that _something_ was happening -- the energy of the dome was pulsing visibly, and outside of the visible spectrum, it was showing definite spikes in strength.

"It's unstable!" he warned them barely a second before it flared like a god-damned nuclear bomb, whiting out his sensors.

The power flickered and died in the suit, leaving him blind. The faceplace automatically opened with the power loss, and he sucked cold air in.

It took a moment before he understood what he was seeing, which was the lack of the dome. There was only darkness toward the city now. Thor was still staring at it, as if the blinding pulse had been nothing, though the others were straightening after shielding their eyes or head. "Okay," Tony said, hating that his voice sounded a bit shaky at first. He cleared his throat. "Okay, what the hell was that? Did it explode? Is the city still there? Because that was an EMP…"

"The city remains," Thor confirmed, though Tony wasn't sure how he could know that in the darkness.

"But the dome's gone, isn't it?" Steve asked. "It looks gone."

"What happened?" Clint asked. "What did we do?"

"Nothing to do with us," Tony said, sure of that much, since they'd done squat to the dome or the Casket in hours.

"Maybe it overloaded?" Bruce suggested. "It looked as if it shorted out somehow."

Tony noticed the hopeful look on Thor's face, as he peered across the water. "Perhaps he awoke. I should find him."

"I'll go with you," Tony offered, but had to take it back, when the suit refused to move. The actuality of being in a 'tin can' was uncomfortable when the tin can had locked up and the power was dead. "As soon as the suit reboots. I thought I'd shielded it better." He was a bit put out by how utterly the suit had failed. After the whole "bomb thing" the last time, he'd made sure the new suit was better shielded against EMP, and now JARVIS was acting like he hadn't done a thing.

"So it's over?" Steve asked. "Everything will start warming up again?"

"Do you think we're that lucky?" Tony returned, because he doubted that very much. Because the idea of Loki waking up with a super powerful, planet-destroying weapon to hand wasn't exactly filling him with confidence, whatever Thor might claim. Things had gone so awesome the last time Loki had visited, after all.

Thor glanced upward as that bigblack bird showed up and casually winged down. Tony snorted a laugh. Figures Asgard would send a message _after_ the problem had, apparently, fixed itself. Tony had all kinds of admiration for Thor, but the rest of it was getting a lot less impressive all the time.

Munin landed on Thor's upraised arm and tucked his wings in. "Munin!" Thor greeted him happily. "What news?"

"Is he talking to the bird, Nat?" Clint asked in what was meant to be a low aside but was perfectly audible to everyone.

Thor heard and introduced, "Munin, these are my friends, protectors of Midgard."

Munin's look was singularly disdainful as he said, "I am Munin, Prince of Ravens and chief messenger of Odin Allfather, King of the Nine Realms."

"It talks?" Clint blurted, and Natasha smiled and put a hand on him.

"I apologize," she said, trying not to smile, addressing Munin. "My partner has never seen a bird so majestic before."

Munin's yellow eye fixed on her, skeptical of the flattery, then he turned his head to preen a wing tip.

Thor lifted him up to insist, "Munin, what news?"

Munin tucked the wing away again. "The queen reached the other of her cubs."

"Oh, thank the ancestors," Thor breathed in relief. "How is he?"

"She says he stirs, but the Casket holds him fast. Therefore she instructs that you part him from it."

Thor's eyes flicked toward the city. "That was Mother's doing," he murmured. Tony's gaze followed after, stunned. Thor's _mother_ had brought down the dome from wherever she was that certainly wasn’t Earth, and was probably another dimension altogether? Okay, so maybe Asgard was a little bit impressive.

Thor continued, looking relieved, "She roused him enough the dome has fallen."

"The Casket protects its own," Munin declared.

Tony ran through the implications of that, and was astonised when Steve was the first to exclaim, "Wait, are you saying-- It killed thousands of people to _protect_ him?"

He was so aghast, Tony decided not to be. But it made sense. Every time someone had attacked the dome, it got bigger, not just because it was sucking in the energy, but to widen its field of protection for the fallen wielder. Or perhaps it was Loki, falling, who had tried to protect himself, and that Casket had responded to his desire. Tony was suddenly even more glad the stupid World Council hadn't tried to nuke it this time.

Thor ran a finger across Munin's feathers. "The Casket of the Ancient Winters is primordial magic. It is not a thing of reason."

Everybody's eyes went across the water, though there was nothing to see at this distance. Everything remained dark.

"So she fixed it?" Steve asked. "Now we're safe?"

"I don't think so," Bruce said, glancing at his tablet in his hand with a frown. "Temperatures aren't getting better anywhere that I have data."

Munin repeated, with some irritation that they hadn't listened, "You must separate the fledgling and the Casket. There is no _better_ until he wakes."

Getting schooled by a raven was a new experience for Tony, but he had to smile. Prissy little thing. But he knew what the bird meant. "Dome's down, but the Casket itself is still operational."

Bruce nodded slowly. "It's reverted to its root commands."

"And Loki's the virus-infected operating system?" Tony asked and sighed. "Fabulous. Should've known alien power artifacts run on Windows. So, to continue the terrible analogy, we need to reinstall and reboot. Which means separate him from the freezer. And then what? It fixes itself?"

Thor shook his head. "I know not, but we must accomplish separation 'ere any other action."

"Awesome." Tony heaved a sigh. "At least it's a plan, which is more than we had five minutes ago."

"Do we have a plan?" Bruce asked dubiously. "Even assuming we can approach, can we get to him?"

"Point," Tony agreed. "When he fell, the air temperature in his vicinity was at least eighty below. For our human friends that's lethal without some serious protection. The Pocket Freezer also drains the energy out of anything that comes near it, including my suit. So that leaves you," he waved a hand at Thor and Bruce, "if you two can handle the cold."

"I will fetch him," Thor offered.

"Not as easily as the Other Guy can," Bruce said. He hesitated for a moment and added, "The temperature may help. Betty -- Doctor Ross -- theorized a slower metabolism will improve the Other Guy's cognitive ability."

"Less green rage monster, and more jolly green giant?" Tony teased.

"I don't know I'd go that far," Bruce agreed with a faint tolerant smile. "Anyway this is unproven, but it certainly can't hurt. And he, I, won't kill Loki," Bruce reassured Thor, though Thor didn't seem especially reassured, staring off with a frown in the direction of the tower.

"All right," Tony said. "Let me sum up: Loki, either not awake or not in his right mind, and maybe both, needs to be separated from a magic weather-controlling box before it destroys the planet -- and can I just say that when _Loki_ becomes the least freaky and objectionable thing in that entire sentence, my life has gotten truly fucked up." He got at least Bruce to smile a bit at that, even if the rest of them were all stone-faced serious.

Clint snorted. "You're all crazy if you think that psycho is going to let you take the box from him."

"Well, if you're right, I'll make you a better bow, Katniss," Tony promised. "Everybody aboard, let's go check out the city. Thor, you and me, we scout. Let's go."

Now that the suit had rebooted, he was impatient standing around and headed into the city again. He didn't bother checking his speed – Thor could catch up and there was nothing else in the air – and he really wanted to see the city now that the dome had fallen.

First thing he noticed was that, though the dome was gone, its effects were not. The clouds were thick and winter storm grey, and the light turned dull and flat. Beneath them, the ocean seemed thicker and slower, until the waves looked slushy. The temperature dropped precipitously as they got nearer, and the sea had a crust of ice on it, thickening closer to Manhattan until it looked nearly solid, except for where it was broken by giant cracks and covered by snow.

It wasn't snowing anymore, but the city lay under a white blanket at least a few inches deep, and there were no lights, no power, at all, in any of the buildings. Not even in those Tony knew had their own generator. That had to mean either the Casket was still somehow suppressing it all, or worse, drawing it to itself.

Flying above the city was eerie, since there was nothing moving. The cars on the bridge were utterly still, and on the city streets, taxis and buses and everything was exactly where they had stopped when hit by the edge of the spell, and then covered by snow. Flying between the Manhattan skyscrapers was unnerving, as if he was the lone survivor of an apocalyptic wasteland. It was creepy as hell, and he was ready to find out that the people had been turned into zombies, not frozen.

Except then he saw the people, frozen where they stood. Some with faces of terror, seeing it come on them, and others taken unawares.

As he approached the Tower, the suit also started to have some problems; there wasn't the same pull of energy, it seemed, but the cold itself was no good. He got on the comm to report to the others, since he doubted the quinjet would be in better shape.

"I'm thinking you open the back and toss Bruce at the Tower," he suggested. "You'll change in the fall, and the jet doesn't have to be so close."

" _Bruce thinks that's a terrible plan_ ," Romanoff said, her voice dryly amused. " _But the plane's stabilizers are weakening, so we can't stay here long_."

"Bruce, just go. Thor will make sure the Other Guy goes the right way," Tony urged.

" _You want me to jump out of this plane_."

"Actually I want the Other Guy to jump out of the plane, but you should probably do it first," Tony pointed out. "C'mon, buddy, you volunteered."

Bruce heaved a sigh. " _Fine. Going_."

"Give him a little help, Capsicle," Tony suggested, and heard Bruce yelp in the comm as someone, maybe Cap, pushed Bruce out of the quinjet's ramp.

That yell turned into the Hulk's roar and Tony didn't even have to watch to know Hulk crashed onto Park Avenue and was on his way.

"Head back to the yacht. JARVIS will guide you in," Tony said. "Mi casa is su casa and all that."

" _You're not coming with us_?" Rogers asked.

"No, gonna keep an eye on things here. I'll let you know what happens."

" _Understood. Watch yourself, Iron Man_."

Tony swooped over them to wave at the cockpit, as Romanoff turned the quinjet and they headed away from the city.

He moved back from the epicenter and landed on a roof uptown, to wait. He hated waiting, he was bad at it, but at the moment, there was nothing else he could do.

 

* * *

 

"Smash."

Hulk knew what to do. Hulk smash ice, find puny god and smash.

So much cold and ice. So cold.

But he smashed inside, looking for puny god, roaring. He smashed metal bars, shattering them the same as the walls of ice in his way. Nothing stopped him. Even as icicles hung off him, he brushed them off and kept going, looking for puny god.

Colder here.

It was hard to move. He shook his head.

One more roar and shove and the wall before him collapsed. Inside was an empty space, like the inside of a ball. The wall was round and high, curving up and over, ice and metal and junk all pressed together, covered in white frost but lit by a strange blue light.

On the floor, in the center, was puny god. Hulk smash puny god, stop cold.

Puny god was covered with frost. Curled up on his side around small blue glowing box. Puny god did not move. Eyes closed. Asleep? Broken? Dead? Was puny god dead?

No fight. No smash.

Hulk stopped. No fight, then... what should Hulk do?

Take box.

He pried it out of puny god's hands and tossed it aside. Puny god did nothing. Hulk poked him. Still nothing.

Then puny god's head moved. Alive. Not dead.

Puny god's skin was blue. Blue was different.

His lips parted to breathe. Hulk leaned close and heard the whisper, "Amma, help me…" One hand opened on the snow, reaching out blue-skinned fingers with black nails.

The plea quieted the rage, stirring pity, and from the depths came a memory of Betty and her black hair on white skin. Sleeping. Puny god remind Hulk of Betty. Weak. Fragile. Like Armorman falling from sky.

No fight. No smash. Blue skin was different and wrong. Last time, puny god was not blue.

Puny god whispered again, "Amma help me..."

Need help. Hulk help puny god. Take him from here.

Hulk picked him up. That blue skin burned, hurt Hulk's fingers, so Hulk put him over one green shoulder. As Hulk carried him out, he fell limp, making a sad noise of pain.

Puny god was quiet again when Hulk got outside.

 

* * *

 

_In pain and misery, he curled up on the edge of the platform. Here, Thanos' slave for eternity, swallowed up in his darkness, he was lost and alone. Everyone had abandoned him. He had nothing left. No hope. Only that last tiny bit of stubbornness made the void beneath him tempting. If it was death, or worse than death, at least it was not this._

_He was about to roll himself off the edge when the shadows parted._

_The light grew, melting away the darkness around him and revealing it for the insubstantial mist it was. He looked up in amazement as a brilliant figure appeared above him_.

_It was Frigga, gleaming with a pure golden light in all the splendor of a Queen of Asgard. She reached for him, and he ducked back from her hand, remembering less caring touches and how she'd turned away._

_"My sweet child," she murmured, and her hand was gentle on his face. "None of that was real. I love you, my littlest one, child of my spirit. Fear not for your place in my heart._ "

_"Amma, help me," he pleaded, his voice barely able to emerge from his throat, raw._

_"You are not here, Loki. This is a dream; it is not real. You have not returned to this place. Your body is on Midgard, and you need to return to it. You need to wake up. The Nine Realms need your help."_

_He heard her words, but understanding seemed beyond his reach, as he drowned in this pit of his own despair and fear. "Amma, help me."_

_"Wake up, Loki. You have to wake up, or you will die, my son. You need to come back. Please, wake up, little one._ "

 _It was the worry in her eyes that reached him. He could sense her concern and her love, and her hands framed his face and she looked into his eyes. "Loki, you need to wake. Thanos is trying to take you from us, but you are stronger than this. You must control your fears and wake._ "

 _He felt young, like the weak child he'd once been. "It hurts, Amma. It hurts so much…_ "

 _She kissed his forehead and ran her hands gently over his head to smooth his hair. "I know, darling, I know, but you need to be brave. It will hurt less when you wake; this is only a dream. It will fade like all other dreams as soon as you awaken_."

 _"I am so weary... can't I stay here with you?_ "

" _You can rest in my garden, Loki; think of that, of the tree that's yours and the flowers, and the view of the sky above the city..." her hand was warm on his head, her fingers gentle on his skin. "But first, you have to awaken from this dream that holds you so tightly, before it drags you into death. Please, my darling boy, push it aside and wake. Thor is waiting for you._ "

 _He wanted to see his brother, but he also didn't, remembering all the times he had been cruel and terrible, so full of resentment he had seen nothing clearly. He turned his face away, miserable. "I hurt him, Amma; he hates me_."

 _Frigga's hand gently turned his head back to face her. "No, Loki, he loves you. He wants to keep you safe._ "

 _He had to believe her, though his fears whispered that it wasn't true. "And Thanos isn't there?_ "

" _No, my son, only in your bad dreams. Thanos is far away beyond Jormungandr. Now wake and reassure your brother that you live. Remember, you carry my love with you wherever you go." She placed her hand over her heart and then rested that same palm on his chest. And though he knew it did nothing at all, not even the tiniest transfer of energy, he felt warmer within, with the strength of her love_.

 _In that dream space where things were not quite real so he could speak deeper truths than he could ever speak aloud, he could whisper back to her, "I love you, too._ "

 _She smiled brilliantly at him. "Now wake, my son. It's time._ "

_He lifted a hand to try to keep her with him, but her form faded and vanished. But she left behind the awareness that none of this was real, and with that awareness, he released the illusion of his body. This was a place of the mind, of the spirir, and the ethereal plane, not of the body. It was a dreamscape and now that he recognized that, he could see the swirl of wild magic for what it was. He needed to find a way out, as all around him a fierce storm of power raged, seeking to hold him within._

_Trying to grab all of it would be impossible, yet there was no opening to pass through. He waited, impatient now that he was aware that his mind was being held, but every time he approached the wall it strengthened, pushing him back. He was aware, but trapped, until finally there appeared a gap, a weakness in the wild power encircling him, as if the threads were being pulled apart. He would get no better chance and threw himself into that fissure._

 

* * *

 

tbc...


	7. Awakening

Thor waited, anxious as Hulk crashed into the building, tearing at the fallen Stark Tower. The structure had turned fragile from the effects of the Casket, and Thor heard it cracking and crashing as if it was all glass or ice. He would have joined Hulk to look for Loki, but approaching the building he had felt the Casket's greedy tendrils reaching for Mjolnir and he'd thought he should stay back.

Hulk emerged again, with a green-caped figure draped over one shoulder that he laid on the snow of the street.

Thor hurried to join them. "Loki?"

"Puny god blue," Hulk declared, heavy brows drawn together at the mystery.

Thor saw it was true; Loki had reverted to Jotunn skin, which probably was not a surprise with the Casket of the Ancient Winters in use. But it was also a hint of how little control Loki had, since Thor knew he could use the Casket without changing. "Yes," Thor agreed, a bit sadly. "He's blue."

Not just blue either, but with some of the markings on his face that he associated with Jotunn, though softened in him. Thor was glad Loki's eyes were closed; the skin color was odd, but at least he still looked like Loki. But seeing his brother's eyes colored Frost Giant scarlet was  _wrong_ , and made his insides knot up.

Turning his attention away from Loki's face, the rest was odd, too, in a different way. He was wearing the presentation form of his black and green fighting leathers, with the long cape. It was not a combat outfit, since the decorative armor plates and the long emerald cape got in the way of his fighting style. He usually only picked it if he was wearing his helm and intended it as a statement of status and power. But the most curious thing was that he must have had the freedom and power to change it, after his captivity, yet here he was, looking as close to utterly defeated as one could, short of death.

But what had happened was a question for later. He wasn't breathing, as far as Thor could tell, but his heart was beating, a slow and weak tempo against Thor's fingers at his throat. His fingertips tingled with that icy burn from the unconscious use of Jotunn power in Loki's skin, and he had to withdraw. Loki's neck was encircled by a pale abrasion, and Thor had to clench his jaw in sudden fury at the realization that his brother had worn a collar. He seemed otherwise unharmed, but Thor knew that meant little when their bodies were tough and healed from damage quickly.

The heavy footsteps of the Man of Iron came near and Stark's voice emerged, as he lifted the facemask. "He's … blue."

"It is his Jotunn form," Thor answered reluctantly. "He would not appear thus if he were able to change it."

"Is this what you look like, too, underneath?" Stark asked, waving a gauntlet at him.

Thor stiffened at the implication he was a Frost Giant, offense bubbling up until he glanced down at Loki and all the offense transmuted into a sickening remorse. How could he claim to Loki it didn't matter and yet be offended at the suggestion of being one himself? That was the basest of hypocrisy. He would have to be better. He answered levelly, "No. I appear as I am."

Canny brown eyes watched him closely. "Right, adopted, I remember you said that. So he's not your... Race? Species?" Stark asked but didn't wait for an answer. "And he changes it to look like you. With 'magic'?"

Thor ignored the disbelieving tone of 'magic' and nodded. "It is not a truth widely known in Asgard."

"Huh. That's kinda..." Stark trailed off and frowned down at Loki, with thoughts Thor couldn't guess. "Well, it's definitely alien. Blue skin's not human. But it doesn't look _that_ different. I guess there's all kinds in the universe."

Thor was shocked by Stark's nonchalance about Loki being revealed as an alien, and a Jotunn at that. The attack by the giants had been a hundred generations ago to Stark, so apparently it had been forgotten by Midgard. Only recent history would matter to the mortals, though that was certainly not pleasant either. Thor buried a sigh as he looked on Loki, wishing it had never come to this.

Stark asked, "Is he-- is he alive? I can't tell."

Thor was glad to change the subject to something still difficult, but not as deeply uncomfortable. "At the moment, he lies in something like the Odinsleep, I think. He is deeply unconscious, but yes, alive."

"Oh. He looks like Cap, all frozen."

"If he's going to rouse, it will be somewhere warmer, away from the Casket of the Ancient Winters," Thor said. "We should go elsewhere."

"We sure we want that?" Stark asked. "Him waking up?"

Thor restrained the instinctive protective anger that rose up, and answered more reasonably, "You may not. I do. He is not what you recall, Stark. I do not know what he suffered in Malekith's captivity, but I will assure you it was not a feast of celebration. I do know before we left, he spent every waking hour searching for a way to kill Thanos. To save the rest of us."

"Because he wants to make up for what he did?"

Thor thought about that, wondering, and then answered, "He said for vengeance, and that he cares nothing for this Realm. But Loki uses words as both knife and shield, and not always truth." Thor's fingers pushed through Loki's hair, tangled and stiff from the cold, but at least something Thor could touch. What he would not say to Stark was that he was afraid that Loki believed he could only atone in death. Certainly he kept spending his life like it was only worth a few tarnished brass coins.

 _No, brother, I will not let you keep throwing it away_.

But Loki did not stir for the touch or the thoughts, not that Thor expected either.

"Shocking," Stark said dryly. "The God of Lying might not always tell the truth."

Then, unexpectedly, Hulk spoke, "Help blue puny god."

Thor twisted to look up. Hulk was standing there, seemingly balanced in him between the scarcely controllable rage of his Hulk form and the intelligence of Bruce Banner in his eyes. The cold really had helped him.

But the Hulk's words helped make Stark decide. "All right, I'll call the quinjet back. He can come to the yacht with us." He heaved a sigh. "And we'll try to keep Barton from putting an arrow in him. We need to get farther away from the freezer though."

Thor put Mjolnir's strap over his wrist and scooped Loki up in both arms, careful to keep his cape between any skin contact. Once he'd lifted Loki, he paused. Loki felt so thin and fragile, as if he'd been starving for years, not only the weeks of his captivity.

"Help blue puny god," Hulk repeated and a big hand gripped Loki's head, which was hanging back over Thor's arm. Thor tensed; Hulk was strong enough to do serious damage, especially in Loki's weakened state. Perhaps he could even tear Loki's head off, if he was careless.

But Hulk was instead surprisingly gentle, as he maneuvered Loki's head against Thor's shoulder, pillowed on a wad of Thor's cape.

Thor smiled at him. "Thank you, my friend."

Hulk's Banner-like eyes blinked at him, but said only "Go" before he turned to lead the way from the ruined tower.

The group plodded through the snow and the silence, trying to find where the ambient temperature had risen enough for the quinjet to land safely. But that was not all that the rising temperature did. Thor felt a strange shivering sensation and looked down, to see the blue seem to drain out of Loki's skin and the Jotunn markings fade away, until he was back to his Aesir guise.

Thor tightened his grip and now that he could touch the skin more easily, he bent to kiss Loki's brow, glad he was rousing. His skin was still icy, but did not have that dangerous bite to it.

"He did that unconscious?" Stark asked. "Damn."

It made him no heavier – the shape and weight in his arms was the same- but Thor could carry him closer as he warmed.

Finally they reached an open area of a park and the quinjet landed in a flurry of blowing snow. He saw Lady Natasha at the controls, and Rogers at the ramp as it opened to help them inside. He was ready with a blanket as abruptly Hulk shrank back down to Banner, and helped him hurriedly into the jet.

The ramp sealed up again, Thor laid Loki on the bench seats along one wall. Rogers came over to look. "So, there he is," he said.

"Yep, there he is," Stark removed his Iron Man helmet and rubbed at his face. "Good grief that is cold out there."

"What exactly are we doing with him?" Rogers demanded, jaw clenched.

"Taking him back to the yacht to thaw. You missed the blue, it was great. Totally alien, and yet kind of awesome," Stark said enthusiastically.

"Blue?" Rogers repeated blankly.

"It is not important," Thor intervened before Stark could blather on about it. Loki would never want the others to know, and he was going to be tremendously displeased that Stark knew. "He will wake, and we will assist you with Thanos' attack, as we intended at the start of our quest."

Rogers looked at Loki and said, as if he doubted that outcome, "Right. We'll see."

Thor's fingers tightened on Mjolnir, realizing that Loki had few friends here. In his current weakened state, his life might be truly threatened by these mortals. He resolved not to leave Loki's side until Loki was aware and capable of defending himself against attack.

The quinjet headed out over the water to meet with Stark's boat. It was a beautiful craft, all smooth lines, white and steel and the words written on the sides in blue. The middle of it was several levels enclosed by dark glass, a large window wrapping around, and an open deck at the fore, balancing the landing pad at the aft.

Thor carried Loki from the jet and followed Stark off the edge of the landing pad by simply jumping down instead of the stairs, and then along the narrow outside passage to the open foredeck, where he set Loki down on the wooden planking. The others gathered behind him – Stark and Rogers, Banner, and past them, Barton and Romanoff.

"What's wrong with him?" Lady Natasha asked.

"You mean besides being alive and free?" Barton asked. "Isn't that enough?"

Thor ignored him and answered levelly, "He was the conduit for the Casket of the Ancient Winters. That much power would burn a mortal to ash." That fact did not seem to impress them as much as it should.

"When's he gonna wake up?" Stark asked.

"I do not know, Stark. He may not." Thor smoothed back Loki's hair from his high forehead, indulging himself in the gesture that Loki would dislike if he were awake. He thought it was likely Loki would wake, but he wanted them to understand Loki had paid a price for what had happened.

Stark blinked. "Ah. I didn't realize... Well, I've got things to do besides wait around for the supervillain. I want to watch the temperature go up."

Thor took no offense, and watched Stark ushered the others away. They departed the deck, one by one, glancing back over their shoulders to keep Loki in their sight, even though he did not stir.

About an hour after he'd laid Loki on the boat's deck, Thor touched his hand to find it was warming. He pressed his hand to Loki's cheek, and indeed, the terrible chill of his skin was warming at last.

He planted his body between Loki and the others, to provide a shield in case any of the others unwisely attacked, and waited.

Loki roused slowly, first drawing soft breaths through parted lips, and then his eyelashes twitching like a raven in the snow. His eyes opened, looking up at the gray sky with sleepy interest, as if answers might be written there.

"Loki?" Thor asked, drawing Loki's gaze to him. "How feel you?"

"Thor? Am I dead?" Loki's voice was hoarse and he looked dazed.

Thor clasped his hand, jolted and worried by the question. "No, brother. You live yet."

Loki's gaze drifted back to the gray sky, past Thor, before he blinked himself back to alertness. He pulled his hand free and struggled to sit up. Thor grabbed his shoulder and pulled him, when he was too weak to do it himself. Over Loki's shoulder he saw the other Avengers start to gather, murmuring that Loki was awake.

"Oh, ancestors," Loki moaned and lowered his head to his hands. "Worse than the green monstrosity." He sat thus, pressing on his head for a minute, and breathing unsteadily. Then he lifted his head, frowning at Thor. "Where am I? Is this Midgard?"

"It is. You did not intend to come here?" Thor asked but Loki's confusion was answer enough. He had thought perhaps Loki had opened the portal to escape, but not knowing meant he had not been the one to open it. "What is the last you recall?"

The memories seeped back into Loki's face, as a shadow fell over his eyes. "Malekith had me captive in the halls. I had everything planned to escape, but then _he_ was there."

"Who?"

"Thanos," Loki whispered, looking in that moment pale and shattered. He swallowed and convulsively shoved himself free of Thor's arm to stand up. On his feet, he staggered, nearly falling, and Thor caught him by the arm to steady him. Loki was trembling, some terror slipping through him.

Thor had never seen him like this. "Loki--"

Loki jerked free from his grip, snarling, "Leave me be." He folded his arms and leaned against the railing, looking out to sea.

Stark was about to speak, but Thor lifted a hand to keep him quiet. Loki would retreat to pride and illusion once he knew the mortals were there; for now, he seemed to be aware only of Thor.

Thor let him have his moment to get himself under control then asked, "He was there? In Svartalfheim? This is dire news."

"No." Loki inhaled a shaky breath and gathered his strength, answering in a more careful, level tone. "Thanos' astral form possessed Malekith. He wanted me to open a portal with the Casket to bring Thanos through in body. I refused."

Chills slipped down Thor's spine at the flatly spoken words, and his eyes swept up and down Loki's form, as if to find wounds he already knew weren't there, then fixed on the fading mark on his neck. Malekith was both mad and cruel, and he disdained no technique to get what he wanted from his prisoners, and Thanos was a demon. Thor bit his lip to keep himself from blurting the useless, comforting words which Loki so plainly could not stand at the moment. Thor cleared his throat. "And? What happened to bring you here? Did you escape?"

Loki's voice was a halting parody of his usual surety that told Thor how damaged he was, if he could not hold even the pretense of control. "I… I thought I was escaping. There was frostfire and … the Casket… I could not open it entirely, and he was so strong … He…" He shuddered and a trembling hand scraped back his hair from his brow. "I saw terrible visions…"

His face twisted in pain, and he seized the railing, drawing ragged breaths and calm himself again.

He turned his head to glance at Thor, and only then noticed with a start that the others were also present and watching. He flung himself back against the railing, throat working, his eyes flicked between them, settling on Banner as the largest threat. His hands curled at his sides, ready to fight, though he held no dagger.

Thor knew they would not attack, but to help Loki feel safer, Thor stepped closer and turned to face his friends in clear declaration of alliance. Loki's gaze whipped around and he stepped away, as if he might need to defend himself from Thor as well. The motion sorrowed Thor, as it revealed that Loki was still uncertain whose side Thor would be on.

The Midgardians were watching, most without expression, but Banner held up both hands as if in reassurance that there was no threat from his alter ego. His slight smile seemed sympathetic. When none moved to attack, Loki drew himself up, a proud figure in his armor, folded his arms, and pasted on a smirk. His cool sarcasm probably fooled no one. It certainly fooled Thor not at all. "Ah, I see the committee is here to greet me again. The lack of heroic posturing is a refreshing change. You still owe me that drink, Stark."

"Not available at the moment," Stark said. His brown eyes watched Loki closely but with less hostility than they'd held before Loki had awakened. "Sorry."

"Of course you are," Loki retorted.

"Actually I am," Stark insisted. "And that's not something I ever thought I'd say to you and mean. But right this minute, we have a bigger problem than your lack of booze."

Loki was about to return something provoking, but something in the sky caught his attention, and suddenly it was if none of the others existed, as he stared at what the Casket of the Ancient Winters had wrought.

* * *

 

tbc... 

 

 


	8. Confrontation

Thor watched as Loki tipped his head back to look up at the great dark storm that had gathered and spread across the sky and the white and grey lines of the city. One hand lifted against the wind, fingers spreading as if to press against it. His brow knitted, eyes narrowing, as he peered into the tangled skeins of invisible power.

"No," he whispered. "No, this cannot be. The Casket… this must be the Casket of the Ancient Winters, I feel it, but how? The only one who could wield it thus is…" His eyes widened with horrified realization before his brow knotted in distress. "Did I -- Did I do this?"

"Brother, no," Thor began, but Loki paid him no heed.

"I did. I must. I don't remember." He clutched at his hair, tugging sharply at it. "How did he make me--? That's why he let me take it and fight with it; he sent me here to destroy this world, his pawn." His hands bunched to fists at his sides, as his dismay gathered into rage. " _Again_. I will not allow this to happen again, to make my name a thing of horror and death whilst he hides in the shadows. I will not!" he snarled, panting for breath. "Where is it? The Casket? I will stop it."

Thor was pleased that Loki wanted to stop the Casket, even if he was disturbed by the gleam in Loki's eyes. There was wrath in it, and little reason. The other Avengers seemed surprised by his reaction.

Stark answered, "It's still in the Tower, where you fell." Loki's head whipped around to fix him with a look as if he'd forgotten Stark was present. "The Big Green Guy was able to smash his way in to get you, but he left the box there. The tower interior's collapsed and the whole thing's coated in ice five meters thick. It'll be hard to reach."

Loki stalked to the prow of the ship to stare at the city and curled his hands around the railing, as his green cape fluttered in the icy wind. He inhaled several deeper breaths to center himself, before turning again to offer, "I can reach it; I need only to cross to it."

"Can't you just walk across the water?" Clint asked, sneering.

Loki ignored the taunt. "I could, but I think ice is not something we need more of. Thor, you can ferry me."

That was a startling request, as Loki generally hated it when Thor carried him, but perhaps he trusted the rest of them even less.

"Why isn't it stopping?" Rogers asked. "Once you stopped touching it, we thought it would stop. But it hasn't. It's getting worse."

Loki's eyes flicked to him and then to Stark, who nodded confirmation. "It's still spreading. Satellites confirm global temperature has dropped two degrees, and the ice pack in the north is growing. It's snowing in France. In July."

Loki considered that, looking up at the clouds in the overcast sky. "The reaction has become self-sustaining then. It no longer requires an active wielder," Loki said as if it were no more concern than what boots to wear. His lips twisted into a grimace. "Stopping it will not help. I need to reverse the spell."

Thor was no magic-user himself, but watching those who were, especially Loki, had taught him that 'reversing' a spell as vast as this would require as much or more power than the original one. "Are you able, Loki?" Thor asked. "After all you have experienced-"

Loki waved a hand in casual dismissal of Thor's concerns. "I am well. When I have the Casket, I will be strong enough. So, carry me across."

"Now we have to ferry his ass back to the city?" Barton demanded. "Why are we not cuffing him and throwing him in a cell where he belongs?"

Loki stilled. When he lifted his head, his eyes sparked, despite the lack of sunlight to reflect any light, and he answered, "You could. Thereby dooming your world to extinction. I should remind you I'm the only one on this boat who can _leave_ your benighted excuse for a Realm whenever I choose, so you should perhaps reconsider your instinct to petty vengeance."

"Oh, probably, but it feels so good," Barton returned.

"I hope it feels as good whilst your world freezes." Loki's lips twitched into a sly smile. "To think, for a moment, I was having such merciful feelings for this place."

"Loki!" Thor thought it was a bluff, he _hoped_ it was a bluff, but he wasn't sure it was, as Loki stared at Barton. "Friend Barton, this is not a good time to antagonize him."

"He antagonizes everyone just by existing," Barton snapped. Lady Natasha flanked him, in case Loki attacked.

Thor held out an arm to keep Loki against the railing as Loki jerked toward them. This was going to go very wrong, very soon, and Loki seemed too rattled to keep an even temper. It was a strange moment, a reversal of their pattern of old when Loki was the one trying to advise caution.

Rogers tried to get everyone to calm down. "We have more important issues right now, people. New York is freezing to death; we can deal with Loki's transgressions--"

"Oh, is that what we're calling them?" Barton interrupted. "T _ransgressions_? Instead of murder and conquest?"

Suddenly Loki relaxed against Thor's grip, leaning against the railing. "I call it an amusing diversion," Loki said in that spider silk tone of his, weaving offense and provocation in a pattern that Thor recognized. He was baiting Barton into an attack, knowing full well the mortal was no match for him. And he seemed not to realize or care that it would not end there.

"Loki, stop. You do not mean it."

"Oh, he means it," Barton said. "We're all just _toys_. Hell, this whole storm is probably his doing - and he's laughing about how stupid we are to fall for his act."

Loki's hand swung outward as if he was about to conjure either fire or a dagger into his fingers to throw, and Thor clamped a hand on his wrist. "No. Loki. This is not what you want. You are upset because of Thanos and Malekith; these mortals are not your enemy."

Loki's arm resisted his grip, as he glared at Barton. Lady Natasha put a hand on her weapon. Loki hissed through his teeth, "Tell _them_ that, Thor. I told the Allfather this was a fools quest from the start, and now you see why. They would rather die than let me help them."

"We know your idea of help. No thanks," Barton sneered.

Loki grinned at him, vicious and cold with triumph. "Then I won't."

"You'd let seven billion people die just because Barton hates you?" Rogers demanded.

"People?" Loki repeated as if the word didn't quite fit in his mouth, and he curled a lip in distaste. "Mortals. You come and you go, you live and you die, in but a second of our lives. There are always more; if not here, elsewhere." He shrugged, uncaring and provoking, then smirked at them. "Or did you think humans were the only mortals in the universe?"

Thor wanted to smash Mjolnir against something, possibly Loki's head. "We were sent to help."

"He's not gonna help," Stark accused. "Wait, I bet he can't. This is all to cover this is completely beyond him."

Loki didn't fall for the attempted reversal, and scoffed, "If it was completely beyond my power, I would say so. It's not. Not yet. But who am I to oppose the wishes of-- what was it again? -- your assortment of assassins, anger management problems, living legends…." His smile was mocking, as he folded his arms and leaned back against the boat's rail. "I estimate you have thirty-six hours before the storm encircles your insignificant sphere and destroys it. So go ahead, Stark, avenge it. That's what you do, right? That's what you told me in all your mortal smugness."

"You did it," Barton accused him. "You did this, you son of a bitch, you did it and you fix it, right fucking now." He whipped his bow up, arrow nocked.

Thor jumped between, Mjolnir held out in warning. Ordinarily he would have no fear of such a primitive weapon reaching Loki, but so soon after the Casket, he worried Loki could not defend himself properly.

"Clint--" Natasha murmured. "Stand down." She didn't take her eyes from Loki, evaluating everything. Clint didn't lower the bow, though he did relax the draw without firing.

"But you said you didn't want my help, I'm agreeing with you," Loki taunted, moving out from behind Thor to present himself a target.

"You could really just sit there and watch an entire planet die?" Rogers demanded in disgust and horror.

"No, he would not!" Thor protested. Where had this gone so awry?

Loki seemed determined to prove him wrong. "Why not? That is what you humans do. You poison your air and your water, and you kill more of each other in _one day_ than those you blame me for, what does it even matter?"

"At least we're free to fuck it up on our own," Tony said.

"Ah yes, I forgot, the simple-minded idealism. How quaint."

"Says the murdering psychopath." Tony rolled his eyes.

"Yet here you are, still alive," Loki retorted. "A mistake I should rectify."

Suddenly Banner asked, diverting the anger that threatened the whole planet, "Who's ' _amma_ '?"

Loki flinched like he'd been stabbed and turned on him. "What did you say?"

"When the Other Guy pulled you out of the Tower, you whispered, 'Amma, help me.'" His soft eyes said he knew exactly who Loki had been calling for, as did Thor.

His hand gripped Loki's shoulder in commiseration. "Oh, Brother…"

"Nothing. It means nothing." Loki whirled, dislodging the grip, to look out to sea again. He seized the railing, shoulders hunched.

So Thor answered for him. "It is what he - both of us - called our mother when we were small."

It was not nothing, and all of them knew that. Banner and Stark exchanged a glance, and Banner nodded his chin toward Loki. Natasha looked to Barton, who studiously ignored her, leaving her to turn to Rogers, who also understood what Banner was telling them: only terrible suffering would cause an adult to cry out for his mother like a child again.

Loki clenched his jaw, no doubt hating this airing of his private weakness, but he managed to swallow back irate words.

"Can we keep an eye on the prize here?" Banner asked the others quietly. "Loki's the only one who can fix the weather. He didn't cause it. The Other Guy - I - saw him in the middle of that white hell, and he wasn't doing it because he wanted to. So we need to shelve the bitter recriminations and accusations for a time when provoking him won't freeze the planet."

Loki folded his arms and seemed little mollified. "You presume it hasn't already. I should slip out on the shadowpaths and let you all perish."

Thor sighed. "Loki. If you are attempting to prove yourself a wolf, this is no better moment than the last time."

Loki's eyes snapped to him, taking his meaning with a hint of flush at his pale cheeks, and then he looked back to the city and the dark storm swirling above. "Very well." He let out an aggravated groan and turned to face them, looking down with a disdainful sneer. "I care nothing for your world or any of the foul creatures that inhabit it. But I will destroy Thanos and all his works. Take me to the Casket, and I will get this done."

Thor's gaze searched Loki's face. He looked recovered, but Thor did not believe it, not after Malekith, Thanos, and being the conduit for the fully unleashed Casket of Ancient Winters. "No, Loki. Banner and I will fetch the Casket for you. You need rest before you attempt this spellcraft."

"Do you want this or not?" Loki bit out, glaring at Thor. "In case you failed to notice, this world is on the edge of utter destruction. If snow and ice build too much, there will be nothing I can do - or anyone. At that point it will not be the spell, but simple physics: heat will radiate away from the planet and the temperature drop will accelerate until it reaches a new equilibrium. A very cold equilibrium. The water will freeze and the land will lay under the snow, and all these humans you so prize will perish."

Unspoken, but Thor heard it anyway, was Loki's voice adding -- and it will be my fault. He claimed he didn't care, but guilt was a shadow in his eyes, and it was driving him to be reckless.

"A new ice age," Steve murmured.

"Will it stop at glaciers?" Stark demanded. "Or are we looking at a Snowball Earth catastrophe?"

Loki snapped at him, eyes narrowed in irritation. "You may yet find out. The only other time the Casket was opened on Earth was more than a thousand years ago and Odin Allfather used the tesseract to combat it. I lack any other object of power to call upon to stop it."

"You could wield Mjolnir's energies," Thor offered.

Loki's eyes fell on Mjolnir, held in Thor's hand, before he shook his head and returned to watching the storm. "You know what happened last time, Thor."

"You can use Mjolnir?" Rogers asked, sounding astonished.

"No, of course not,'' Loki snapped. "Never. But if Thor calls the energy, I can manipulate it, roughly. The last time, I sent Mjolnir's power at Svartalfheim's army, killing Malekith's father and about five thousand of his warriors. That is why he and I are not friends," Loki added with a sardonic look.

"He attacked us first," Thor pointed out hastily, lest they think the battle had been unprovoked.

But that was not what had the others staring in shock at Loki. Silence fell for a moment until Rogers asked, "You killed _five thousand_ troops single-handedly?"

Thor knew it had been an accident, and one Loki regretted at that, but no one would know that as Loki smirked as if it had been his own doing rather than wild magic run amok. "I allowed you to capture me, you know. I am not that easily taken down." He glanced at Banner, all bundled up in his heavy coat and trying to be unobtrusive. "Well, except for once. And there will be no next time or I will rip the monster from your cells."

Banner didn't seem alarmed by the threat, more curious and almost eager. "Do you think you could? Because I don't think it's possible."

Loki snorted. "I had many long hours in dull captivity to ponder the question of what to do about you. The point was your bloody demise, but there may be a way to do it and keep you alive."

"Really? You could cure me?" Banner repeated, brows lifting.

Loki lifted both hands in a sort of shrug. "If we survive this coming storm and your planet doesn't die, I would be willing to test my idea. It is an interesting puzzle, but not beyond my knowledge," Loki said dismissively.

Both Banner and Stark looked to Thor at that, as if he could confirm Loki's offer, but Thor couldn't entirely. He answered with the truth, "Loki is quite knowledgeable about many esoteric magics."

"Oh, well, _magic_ ," Stark said with a snort.

"You are looking at magic, Stark," Loki said with a sharp gesture toward the city and the storm.

"It's just science I don't understand. Yet," Stark insisted, and Loki rolled his eyes.

"Not if you lived a thousand years."

"What about the people?" Natasha asked. "The ones hit by the dome. The spell, I suppose it was."

"Froze everyone where they stood," Barton added viciously.

Loki shut his eyes for a moment, as if that was one blow too many for him to bear. "There were people there?" Then he muttered wearily, "Of course there were. How widespread?"

"Only within what seems to be the ground zero of the impact out to a five kilometer radius from the Tower," Tony offered. "Outside of that it's a spreading cold, but not that insta-freeze."

Listening to the report, Loki nodded once. "Fret not, I can restore them."

"Wait, they're not dead?" Barton demanded.

Loki glanced at him with scorn then turned his gaze deliberately at Rogers in answer. "Freezing need not be fatal."

"They're ordinary people, not supersoldier freaks," Tony objected. "No offense, Spangles." Steve eyed him, but didn't reply.

Voice sounding strained, Loki said, "This is not ordinary freezing. The Casket of Ancient Winters is an artifact of primordial magic, captured from the heart of Jotunheim in the moment of its creation. The mortals thus stricken are in a magical stasis, not true freezing."

"Oh, thank God," Steve murmured.

Loki continued, ignoring him, "But it can only be reversed if they are intact. If they shatter, they will die."

"Anyone who is dead already can't be helped," Natasha observed. "Everyone else is frozen. The city is utterly still. It seems to me there's a little time."

"And better to be more prepared," Steve added, nodding his agreement.

Loki scoffed, "There is no need to be prepared. I find the Casket, I use it. You need do nothing at all."

Thor still didn't like it. This was too soon and too much, but the planet was imperiled, and he could scarcely prevent Loki from doing something about it.

* * *

tbc...


	9. A boy and his mother

* * *

Thor and Bruce entered the quinjet first, and Loki lingered at the foot of the ramp, gaze on the city but not as if he was actually seeing it, as Tony went up to him. "What are you looking at?"

"The Casket is still sending its energy out, touching everything. I sense it, like a high-pitched scream." His brows knitted and he grimaced briefly. "It is quite irritating." He swept past Tony into the small hold, cape billowing behind him, to take up a stance of folded arms and hooded eyes next to Thor.

Bruce was already inside with Romanoff to pilot, leaving Steve and Clint on the yacht. Tony punched the ramp shut and called, "We're good to go, Romanoff."

The quinjet returned to the city. Tony checked their course on his display, watching the performance of the engines and outside temperature. The dome's disappearance only meant they wouldn't all get turned into magical popsicles; the temperature was still dangerously low. It was remarkable really, how the Casket was forcing it to be winter, even though the temperature two days ago had been hot enough to cook an egg on the sidewalk.

"Shall I land?" Romanoff asked. "Circling above Park Ave now."

"You don't need to land," Loki said impatiently and hit the ramp release. "This is adequate."

"Loki, no!" Thor exclaimed, but too late, as Loki walked off the end of the ramp into the open air beneath.

Tony was quicker than Thor, firing thrusters after Loki. Even so, he was too slow, as he was only halfway to the ground when Loki landed. He fell lightly, to one knee and a hand down as if that was all he needed to break the force of his fall. His green cape spread out gracefully on the snow, before he rose again, as if plummeting a hundred feet was nothing. Maybe he couldn't fly like Thor, but he certainly fell with style.

Loki looked around, and despite what he'd said about being able to sense the Casket, he went east instead. He approached the fence around an empty lot. At first Tony had no idea what had caught his eye, then realized there was a memorial there. This had been one of the buildings badly damaged in the Chitauri attack and then demolished to rebuild it.

"Loki!" Thor called and came to a landing near him. He set Bruce down carefully and they waved a farewell to the quinjet.

Loki paid no attention, examining the memorial with no perceptible expression on his face. The photos, stuffed animals, flowers, and candles were all preserved in ice in a freaky approximation of locking it in amber. Tony took a step forward to say something -- what, he wasn't sure - to taunt him about it, or tell him to keep moving, or something, but Thor caught his arm and held him back.

There was a small shape before the memorial, buried in snow and likewise frozen solid, but Tony didn't realize what it was until Loki gestured and the snow all fell away of its own accord, to reveal a boy. He was small, caught by the spell on his knees, clutching a stuffed rabbit. It was eerie, seeing the faux-fur of the rabbit held in the life-like but crystalline ice form of the child.

Gaze flicking between the boy and the memorial, Loki waved the snow away from the memorial as well. Tony figured out the trajectory of the boy's gaze when Loki did -- there was a photo pinned to the wood of a blonde-haired woman holding that same boy. Loki bent his head and turned as if he would walk away. But rousing again, he turned back, lifting both hands, fingers extended, as if throwing something at the memorial wall of its pictures and animals and flowers.

Tony took an abortive step nearer to stop him, as the whole memorial went up in flames.

Or so it seemed at first. But the only thing on fire were the candles. Everything else was still perfectly preserved, but the wall and the ground before it blazed with light from a hundred candles. Candles which had long since lost fuel and wick and a few were burning inside the ice. Tony frowned at those, wondering how the hell that was happening.

 _Any sufficiently advanced science_ , he reminded himself, and snorted mentally. _No, it's fucking magic._

Tony exchanged a glance with Bruce, as Thor approached his brother warily, when Loki lowered his arms and stared at the frozen boy. "Loki?"

"I could shatter the ice and free him from his grief--" Loki said in a distant voice. "It seems a kindness…"

"No, no, no," Tony took urgent steps closer. "Not kindness, wrong. Thor, tell him, that's really not right."

Loki ignored him. "To spare him the pain," Loki continued in that breezy, odd tone. Tony got a look at his face; those eyes were seeing something else, not the boy, or the present at all. "She asked me, what I would do if I'd killed her in thrall. And I said I could not endure it. So Thanos made me kill her. I lured her within, and I was screaming but I couldn't stop... and I killed her... Her eyes stared at me in such horror of this monster she had raised…"

Tony was shocked, wondering who Loki was confessing to killing. Thor frowned at first, not especially alarmed only worried, and then his face cleared to understanding.

"No, Loki." Thor's hand closed on his shoulder and tugged him to turn away. "It was not real."

Loki didn't listen. "Her blood was on my hands, and I could not stop-" He held up his hands as if they were still dripping blood, anguished eyes meeting Thor's. "I am sorry, I tried to stop-"

Thor clasped Loki's hands. "Loki, hear me: it was false. A phantom given to you by Thanos. Mother is well; she never entered that cell. You did nothing."

"Was it you?" Loki whispered, his voice small and his eyes lost. "Are you dead? Did I kill you, too?"

"No, no," Thor's fingers smoothed the hair above Loki's ears, holding his head gently between his big hands. "No, of course not. Loki, look at me. Remember the truth of what happened."

It was sobering to see Loki, who had laughed when he'd thrown Tony out of the window, so reduced. They'd all joked about him being crazy back then, but now Tony felt a tug of sympathy because he so clearly had been through some kind of mental torture. He'd said something about terrible visions when he awoke, but Tony had dismissed it as nightmares. But it had to be something else if he was confused about whether he'd actually killed his own mother, or not. While the spiteful part of Tony was trying to be glad, the larger part was simply horrified. Sometimes the 'enemy of my enemy' was not a friend, but a far worse enemy.

Loki raised a hand to touch Thor's armored chest, at first tentatively as if he feared it would dissolve out from under his fingers, and pressing his hand flat against the solidity. He blinked and inhaled a ragged breath, trying to calm himself. Then in a more pleading voice he whispered, "Are you certain?"

"It was not real," Thor reassured him. "Munin has brought me messages from her; she is well, I promise. He found your fear to use against you. Cast out the doubt. You did not do that."

It seemed to console him only as long as it took for him to glance at the memorial again. Loki's eyes shut, brows knitting in pain. "But I did kill that child's mother," he whispered. "I took her away."

As much as Tony was glad that Loki was showing remorse, this was also a very bad time to break down. He bit his lip, about to suggest Loki go back to the yacht and the rest of them find the box. They needed him in one piece to fix the winter and he was clearly struggling to keep it together.

Thor knew that as well, and hesitated a moment, before he leaned closer, foreheads touching. "Loki. You must _help_ the child. The dead cannot be helped, but you can save him, now. Save the city. Thanos attacks on multiple fronts, within and without, and we must fight him and be strong. We must save this Realm from his evil."

Loki inhaled a deep breath, and with visible effort, pushed the upset away with a little nod. He lifted his hands to rub at his face and then over his hair. When he raised his eyes, his expression was under control again as if it hadn't happened at all. "Yes, of course. We should continue."

Thor didn't buy what he was selling, and didn't release him. "You need rest."

"I am well enough. Distracted by trivialities." Loki shrugged it off, or tried. "You are weakened by sentiment enough for the both of us."

Thor shook his head and didn't let go of Loki's shoulder. "It is not sentiment, but concern. That you stand at all, after--"

Loki cut him off, unwilling to hear that, "Shall we?" Cape swirling about him, Loki turned on his heel and started to walk in the direction of Stark Tower. Thor frowned, before he followed after.

Tony hung back with Bruce for a moment, and flipped up his faceplate. Damn it was cold.

"We're totally screwed, aren't we?" Bruce asked.

"Pretty much," Tony agreed. His gaze followed the two Asgardians and the trail they left through the snow, troubled. When he'd seen the blue skin, he'd seen that mark on Loki's neck -- it was gone now, but that had been from a collar. He hadn't considered the idea of the villain being a victim. He hadn't been bothered when Thor had feared Loki's being tortured and killed by their enemy. It was a just punishment, wasn't it, to make him suffer after he'd brought so much suffering? But faced with evidence that Loki's hostile facade was nothing but a cracked eggshell barely holding together, he was no longer as sure.

He shook his head and followed. Get the weather fixed, save Earth, and leave the moral quandaries for later.

* * *

tbc

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ALSO, for all of you lovely readers, you get a special heads-up that Friday will see the first chapter of "The Ice Demon and the Spider" - the next story in the Ice Demon series, as both Thor and Loki are hurled to Midgard as punishment for their reckless behavior.


	10. At the tower gates

Looking at the ruins of his tower wasn't any better this time, so Tony turned his attention to his companions.

Loki looked at the iced wreckage of the tower with folded arms and no visible expression. He was the only one who paid no attention to the temperature. Bruce huddled in his jacket, about two minutes from Hulking out from the cold, and even Thor had adjusted his cape so it covered his arms and he still looked cold.

"So can you… I don't know, _feel_ where it is?" Tony asked, unable not to emphasize 'feel' sarcastically.

Loki didn't seem to care about the mockery, or maybe he didn't notice. "Can you not? It screams in all dimensions." Loki inhaled deeply and blew out the breath with resignation. "It is worse than I thought. It is perpetuating itself through the planetary magnetic field. If this isn't stopped soon, there is no power in the universe that will halt this world's destruction."

The magnetic field? That would be bad, if true. Tony murmured softly, "JARVIS?"

" _It is slight, sir, but the magnetic field strength is weakening according to satellite data_."

Loki heard that and shot him a told-you-so look from under hooded eyes. "There is no more time to waste, I suppose. Remain here," Loki ordered them. "I will return in a moment."

He inhaled and took a step forward. He flared briefly in Tony's visor, and then disappeared. Tony frowned. How the hell did he do that?

Then to his surprise, a matching flare formed only about ten meters away, only a little closer to the ruin and Loki appeared out of it, stumbling, and fell to his knees.

"Loki!" Thor exclaimed in alarm and hurried to kneel at his side, traveling faster than Tony could fire the repulsors.

Loki was trembling as he admitted lowly, his voice ragged, "He's there, he's waiting, it hurts--" The heels of his hands pressed into his forehead, head and back bowed. "I-- I thought I could, I know I have to do this, but he's in my head and--"

Thor grabbed him in a fierce protective embrace, both arms wrapping him tight, crushing him to his chest. "I have you, brother. This time, I have you and I will not let you go, I swear." Loki stayed stiffly within it, but didn't try to pull away and his eyes were closed, accepting the reassurance. Thor loosened his arms, but only to frame Loki's face between his hands, pushing back his hair to look in his eyes. "I told you to rest. Next time you will heed me."

Loki jerked his head free and forced a smirk. "I do what I want."

Thor smiled back, relieved. "Indeed you do, whether it is wise or foolish."

"As if you know the difference," Loki retorted, but Thor was undeterred, and ruffled Loki's hair as they both stood up. Loki ducked out of the way, complaining, "I will stab you if you do that again."

Tony grinned with delight at Thor's big brotherly affection and the equally irritable resistance.

Thor ignored the threat. "You stay here. Rest. Banner and I will fetch the Casket. Stark, ward Loki." He stalked toward the ruins, swinging his hammer, and Banner shot a glance at Tony before he shrugged out of his coat and handed it over.

"Hold onto this." Then he started running toward the ruin and, about half way there, between one step and the next, the Other Guy was there instead, roaring, and smashed into the tower.

Even though it was ruined already, Tony winced at the impact and turned away, not wanting to watch it get pounded even more.

"You need not ward me," Loki declared, waving a hand at the building. "Help them."

Tony flipped up the faceplate, instantly sorry when the biting cold touched his skin despite the heat from the suit. "Nah. They don't need it." After a moment he asked, "You gonna be able to do this? Break the spell? Undo all this?"

Loki kept his eyes on Thor and Hulk, tunneling into the icy debris, and answered, "No. Not all. Your tower is lost."

Tony moved closer. "Not what I was talking about."

"Do you want a comforting lie?" Loki asked, his voice lightly sardonic. "I can give you that, if you wish. I can reassure you that of course I can fix all of this."

"Okay, I'll take it--" Tony started by Loki kept going.

"But the truth of the matter is that my gifts are death and lies, and you would do well not to depend upon a villain to save you. Even if it would seem you have no choice."

Which, he had a point. This was all magic and shit that Tony knew nothing about. But Tony knew about captivity and the faces of captors appearing in places they didn't actually exist, and he'd seen the genuine remorse on Loki's face at what he'd done. He offered quietly, "You're not a villain. Maybe you were -"

"Maybe?" Loki interrupted and snorted. "I threw you off the building to die."

"Well, okay, there was that. But Thor said you were under some kind of mind-control yourself."

Loki didn't answer at first. He folded his arms and watched the ruins shake, as Thor and Hulk struck at it from within. "Within the greater plan, the choices were mine, whatever Thor may claim. He has always believed I have a purer heart than I actually possess."

"The greater plan of conquering Earth?"

Loki gave an unsettling chuckle even though Tony wasn't trying to be funny. "I thought that was the plan, but it was not. If I had won, he would have taken the tesseract; but in defeat, I was returned to Asgard to acquire for him the Infinity Gauntlet, an object of power the All-father took from him millennia past. In pursuit of that goal, all I knew was my anger, a hedge of thorns that kept me pointed at the goal he desired, which was to bring him within Jormungandr and give him the tesseract and the gauntlet." His voice softened, and his gaze went distant. "The only reason his ultimate plan failed was because my mother realized Thanos had touched my mind. But ruling your Realm seemed like a good idea at the time."

Tony nodded, disturbed by this revelation that their enemy was that clever. He'd thrown Loki at Earth in a strategy that would win him something, no matter how it ended, willing to sacrifice Earth, the Chitauri force, and Loki himself. He also heard more in the quiet words than Loki intended to reveal. Because someone having his sticky fingers in Loki's head suggested there hadn't been much free will at all. "So if you had it all to do over again, you'd do it the same?"

Expecting Loki to insist he would, Tony was surprised when instead, Loki's gaze flicked at him and he rolled his eyes. "No, of course not. I never expected the humans would be so repugnant as kill millions of their own to rid themselves of me. My strategy would be quite different, knowing that. Thank you for disposing of the weapon, by the way."

"Even though it killed your allies?"

"It was not as if we were _friends_." Turning back to watch the fallen tower, Loki said, "I require the building's reactor from you, Stark, before I attempt this spellcraft."

Of all the things Tony expected him to say, that was way down at the bottom of the list. And it was suspicious as hell. His mind ran through the possibilities: what if he wanted to make a bomb out of it? What if he wanted to use it to open a portal to let bad guys in again? Given that he'd just admitted to having someone else in his brain, maybe this whole thing was a set up. "Why? What do you need it for?"

"I think your building will not need it anytime soon," Loki answered dryly, but then grew more serious and admitted, "I am not… exactly … at my full strength. The city's power is being pulled into the spell, so I need a separate source. And since I know you had the reactor here, and I presume you were clever enough to deactivate it from the Casket's grasp, I need to hold the energy for long enough to tame the Casket back under my control."

"Hold it? How? You're just gonna - what - put your hand in it?"

"I should be able to hold the core and draw off its energy," Loki stated, as if that was the easiest thing in the world. No big deal, right, just hold the ARC reactor and absorb its power, no problem. Everyone could do it.

"Sure. Let me think about that…" but he was kidding because there was no thinking required to know this was a stupid plan. "No. I'm not giving, or even lending you my reactor. If something goes wrong, it could level the city."

Loki slanted a glance at him. "If I do not have it, the city and the planet will continue to freeze."

"And I'm supposed to just trust you?" Tony demanded. "You? How am I supposed to know this isn't something you cooked up with Thanos again, to kick our asses better this time? I mean, come on, this whole winter is your fault in the first--"

And shit he didn't even see Loki move - he was just suddenly there, in Tony's face, his hand was on the suit's chest plate. There was a sudden sharp pain inside - an awareness of the power from the reactor in his heart was being tampered with. Eyes burning, Loki hissed at him, "Let me put this in words you might comprehend, mortal: your planet will die if I cannot undo this. I will not have that on my ledger. Fetch the reactor, Stark, or I will take yours."

Tony tried to fire the repulsors at him, but there was no response. The suit's power died, leaving him locked inside the armor, pain growing in his chest.

Loki continued, and he didn't smirk, but his eyes seemed very bright, as he spoke, "The only scheme in play here is Thanos' attempt to destroy Earth. He has made of me his pawn in this scheme, and I would free myself. Then I will end him. That is my only plan."

Loki stepped away. Tony could breathe again, and the suit started to hum as it started to reboot.

Calmly, as if he hadn't just threatened Tony's life, Loki added, "My second requirement is that you absent yourself and the other mortal members of your team, when I begin. Not because I care for all these little mortals running about like foul little ants," he added coldly, "I do not. But you will be in my way."

Tony was about to say something heated about how he was a villain after all, as Loki turned his back on Tony as if inviting retaliation. Tony nearly gave it to him as the suit power returned to normal, but at the last moment, he held back. He nodded to himself. "Tell me, do you actually want people to believe the shit you peddle, or are you trying to convince yourself? Because let me give you a tip: don't try to make me believe you don't care after you freak out at popsicle boy and his mom. That was an _awesome_ display of not caring."

Loki stiffened and faced him again, arms folded to glower. "Do not mistake a moment of sentiment for a weakness of will," he snarled. "I want Thanos stopped and unmade from existence, and I will see that done, no matter the price. I will burn your entire Realm if I must, to destroy him. You mortals are _nothing_. Do we understand one another, Stark?"

Oh, Tony understood all right; he knew exactly what Loki was doing. "You're angry, I get that," Tony said. "You want people to be afraid of you cuz it makes you feel badass. But just so you know, I'm not afraid of you. Under all this villain-blustering crap, I can tell, you're _scared_."

He expected Loki to insist he wasn't afraid of anything, but instead Loki grew very still, not in a stiffening, taking-offense sort of way, but more of a drawing down inside. He lifted his face to look at the ruined Tower and murmured, "If Thanos wins, you have the consolation that your misery will end in a handful of years. Mine will last for thousands with madness my only escape. So yes, I fear him. I fear what he may yet do. I fear my visions will come to pass and there is nothing to stop him."

That was… well, that was pretty fucking terrifying actually. Loki went around proclaiming he was a god - he wasn't supposed to admit to being scared of anything. Tony didn't want to hear that, at all.

"We can stop him," Tony said and couldn't help adding, trying to lighten things up, "He may have an army; we have a Hulk."

Loki's glance was worth it - surprised and then delighted by the joke. He even laughed a little. "Indeed. And you have me, this time."

"Jury's still out on that one."

Loki frowned slightly not fully getting the reference but understanding the doubt. "Fetch me the reactor, Stark, and I will lift this winter. Then you will know."

Tony hesitated, but took a look around the city, the ambient temperature around the suit. This couldn't continue. And they were all out of choices. He nodded once. "Fine. It shouldn't take long. Don't do anything that'll make us have to chase you down," he warned.

Loki managed to look only a little smug at the agreement. "I intend only to wait. My idiot brother and the green monstrosity may need my help."

Tony was glad the helmet hid his smile at the epithets. "All right. Here, give this to Bruce if he shifts back." He handed Banner's coat to Loki, who took it hesitantly in one hand as if he wasn't sure what to do with it, and Tony rose up.

From above, he watched as Loki moved, a shadow against the white of the snow. At first he thought Loki was seizing his chance to escape or carry out some kind of wicked plan, but after a moment, it became clear that Loki was only moving to sit on the roof of a car, seizing his chance to rest unobserved while he watched the ruins of the tower.

 _You are fucked up, Loki of Asgard. But you gotta hang in there long enough to fix this_.

* * *

 

Loki sat in the snow and stared at the fallen ruins of Stark Tower. The Casket was a constant screaming irritant in his head, hard to shut out at this proximity. He slid his fingers through his hair, squeezing the sides of his skull, but that did nothing to help.

The humiliation was worse, beating at him incessantly with the reminder that he was weak and a coward and a fool. Because he _was_ weak. He couldn't go get the Casket, couldn't look at a reminder of his own stupidity without falling to pieces, couldn't control his own mind to remember what was real and what was false.

These mortals had seen, and if they didn't take advantage of his weakness it was only because they pitied him and realized that the god they'd feared was nothing fearful after all.

Loki hated pity, but it was no less than he deserved. He'd tried to make his play to fetch the Casket, and his own mind had betrayed him, sure that Thanos would be waiting for him on the shadowpaths.

 _I am not afraid of you, I am not, I refuse to be afraid of you. You do not control me_.

And every word of that was a lie, even in his own head.

 _Norns, I need to get a grip. Put all this away, and deal with what is right here. The Casket needs to be controlled, because I won't have Thanos do this to me again. He murdered Sigyn right in front of me; she deserved more reward for her help. He will murder all these humans with my hand. I need to make him pay for all this_.

He wanted to pull up his legs and wrap his arms around his knees, but his knees still ached, not finished healing yet. So he let his legs dangle and felt alone. Thor and Hulk were banging and crashing in the ruined Tower, but all else was silent.

 _I will figure out how to rip his heart out and scatter his ashes in the void so he can never return. I refuse to believe it is impossible. They said it was impossible to walk Jormungandr, yet I did. They said it was impossible to survive the void between Realms, yet I did. I will find a way to do this as well_.

But first he needed to use the Casket and reverse the spell. If he could. The only way might be to open the Casket and seize the seed within, which would give him the power and control. It would burn him alive.

 _I destroy the Casket and myself to stop it, is that the real goal, Thanos?_ He glanced upward at the heavy grey clouds and the fat snowflakes that looked like falling ashes from beneath.  _The joke is I would do it. I have no fear of death, not anymore. I'm ready. But I won't do what you want me to do. Especially not while you still exist. So I have to find another way, just to spite you_.

Stubbornness and spite were weak motivations, but at least they were something. With the ARC reactor, he thought he'd have a chance at this, that Thanos couldn't expect. If it was enough to boost his strength, even temporarily, he could take control of the Casket and use it to pull the energies back within it.

End the winter. Not die. Two goals, and it might be possible to achieve only one. 

* * *

 

 

tbc... 

 


	11. The Winter Battle

* * *

 

It was bitter cold, colder than Jotunheim. Thor's breath hung in the air all around, and he was growing frost in his beard. But as he beat away debris to make a path, with Hulk doing the same beside him, he was not especially worried about the rest of the rubble falling on him.

He was worried about the Casket, and what using it might do to his brother in this state. Loki was brave and stubborn, but also exhausted and troubled, and Thor would give anything to make it so he didn't have to do this. But Midgard was in danger, and Loki was their only hope.

Finding the Casket was not difficult. Though Loki had accused him of the magical sensitivity of a mushroom, even a mushroom would be able to sense the source of something so overwhelming. It felt as intense as the tesseract's beam that had opened the giant portal, leading him right to it.

They found it beneath a dome of ice. The Casket's power had pushed away the beams and other detritus of the fallen tower, creating a large hollow space with the glowing Casket in the center.

Hulk rushed forward in his loping strides of size with a Jotunn and grabbed it in one mammoth hand. He flinched, as if it burned him in some way, but held on. "Hulk take box." Then he blinked and turned to Thor. "Go?"

"Yes, go. Take it to Loki."

"To blue puny god?"

 _Oh dear ancestors, if he hears that and finds out they know_ … "Yes. My brother."

Hulk started away, got two steps, and turned back. "Puny god hurt."

It wasn't a question, but Thor nodded sadly. "Yes, he was hurt."

"Amma help?"

"When we go home, she will help him, yes."

Hulk nodded, seemed satisfied by that, and took the Casket away. Thor followed more slowly, smashing aside the rubble Hulk dislodged in his haste, and finally escaped the ruin. He found Hulk trying to give the Casket to Loki, who was eyeing him warily and kept out of reach when Hulk stepped forward.

Thor called. "Take it from him before he is frustrated. He will not hurt you."

"I hope not, because I feel quite awful enough already," Loki muttered, but he stopped retreating and clenched his jaw as he held out his hands.

"Blue puny god take box. Fix ice." Hulk dropped the box in his hands. He put his huge hand on top of Loki's head, and Loki stilled that Hulk meant to harm him. But all Hulk did was pat his head once, hard enough to make Loki stagger, and say, "No hurt."

Loki looked up at the broad green face, surprised. He licked his lips and said with low sincerity, "Thank you." Then he blinked and repeated, "Blue?"

"Yeah, you were kinda blue when we pulled you from the tower," Stark answered as he landed nearby and set something on the ground. "Nice to see we're all friends now."

Loki froze, fingers tightening on the handles of the Casket and jaw clenching. Lips pressed together, he held himself very tense, waiting. Thor readied himself as well, unsure what Loki might do.

Stark walked nearer to Loki, oblivious to his anxiety, and slapped the back of his shoulder. Loki flinched, not expecting the blow, or expecting a larger one. "The blue was awesome, by the way. Nice complement to the green rage monster over there." Loki's mouth worked as if he was trying to find something to say, brows drawing tight in incredulity. Thor was aghast at the casual reference to Loki's true form, especially as Stark went on, "Here, I brought it." He pointed to the thing he'd brought in a metallic housing, trailing ice from tubing. "Still don't see how you're going to do this, though."

Loki stared at him, as if expecting more and stunned that there was not. He shook his head as if to clear it and said, "I need to look at it."

"What is this?" Thor asked. "Loki? What has Stark brought for you?"

Stark answered for him, "The ARC reactor for the tower." The bright false eyes looked to the ruins and there was something about the suit that bespoke some mourning.

"Loki?" Thor invited further explanation, but Loki ignored him, kneeling to examine the reactor. He set the Casket to one side and opened the reactor housing to expose its glowing heart. It looked much like the glowing cell in Tony Stark's chest, but attached to more wiring.

Loki held a hand above it, feeling the pathways. "Somewhat clever," he said after a moment.

Tony took a step forward. "Hey, it's _genius_."

"For a mortal," Loki answered. "It will do."

Thor would have laughed at the outraged expression on Stark's face, if the circumstances were not so dire. "Loki, are you sure this is wise?"

"Of course, he's not," Tony snapped, "He's utterly nuts. He's going to grab a gazillion watts of power in his hand like a moron and fry himself."

Loki's smirked at him. "You see an ocean where it is only a stream. All will be well. Take Banner and go, Stark. Thor may stay if he likes."

The green monstrosity abruptly shrank until Banner collapsed in the snow, naked and already shivering. Thor found Banner's coat near him and rushed to pick it up and lay it on him. Loki moved to Thor's side and bent down to lay a hand on Banner's forehead.

"Hey! What are you doing?" Stark demanded, but fell quiet as Banner stopped shivering and opened his eyes.

He smiled up at Loki. "Thanks."

Loki gave a shrug as if it was nothing. "Warming spell. It is temporary; you should go before your change triggers again."

"Still. Thank you," Banner insisted and sat up, clutching the coat around him. Thor gripped Loki's shoulder, proud of him. This was more the Loki of old, who had helped his companions freely.

Loki had no reply as he jerked free, and returned to the Casket and reactor.

"C'mon, rage monster, let's get you out of here," Stark helped him up and slung an arm around his shoulder. "Loki can do whatever the hell it is he thinks he's going to do. Hopefully not screw it up and make everything worse."

"There is very little worse it can get," Loki answered and added in a thoughtful voice, "Unless your reactor explodes, obliterating me, and accelerating the freezing process. Hopefully you built it well enough."

"Of course I built it w--" Tony started, incensed, and put up a hand. "Nope. Not falling for it. Let's go, Bruce."

Loki chuckled when they were gone, and Thor shook his head, letting out a sigh.

That drew Loki's attention, and his mien became more serious. "Thor. Hear me. You cannot be impetuous. You must allow this to play out to the end. It may appear… difficult. It may appear that it is failing. Do not interfere, or all will be lost. Remember your failure at my cell, and how everything almost came to ruin because of it."

Thor remembered, though he also remembered that Odin had said it had been the right thing to do. But this warning was ominous. "Why would you have me stay, if I can do naught to help?"

"Would you go?" Loki countered lightly, but Thor caught the resolve on his face. He grabbed Loki's vambrace in one hand, to keep him still and look into his eyes.

"Brother, I would have you remember your oath," Thor reminded him and did not like the puzzled look on Loki's face as his eyes flicked aside, trying to remember what oath Thor meant. "You swore you would not cause yourself to perish again."

"Oh, that." Loki seemed briefly surprised, before he grinned, mischievous and bright. "I have no intention of dying this day. Not when Thanos still lives."

Thor let him go, with a last squeeze of his arm. "Good to know. Fortune favor your endeavor, brother."

There was no choice, and even though it made Thor sick with dread, he had to move away from Loki, but close enough he could watch.

The Casket glowed with brilliant energy and made Loki look frost-pale as he knelt before it. He closed his eyes and his breathing slowed as he readied himself. Keeping his eyes closed, he reached into the open case of the reactor and without hesitation, took hold of the housing for the core.

His spine arched and his mouth opened in a silent scream, as the energy flared, lighting him up in a halo of brilliance and turning his form into a barely visible shadow inside the light.

Thor took a single step toward him, before recalling himself and watching tensely.

Loki brought it under control, relinquishing his grip on the reactor so the arcing energy subsided, leaving only some black hairs still standing on end and the Casket the only source of light.

He opened his eyes and immediately murmured under his breath the words that slid in and out of Thor's understanding, slippery as eels and far more dangerous. His expression more focused than Thor had ever seen it, Loki seized the handles of the Casket of the Ancient Winters in both hands.

The steady blue light of the Casket flared. Loki's normal Aesir appearance dissolved in the flaring light, his skin turning color and markings rising in it. It was hard to see in the brilliance but Thor knew his eyes were Jotunn scarlet. Thor's heart seemed to stumble its rhythm, in a reflex that _something else_ was there where his brother had been, but he reminded himself sharply that this was Loki.

After a moment of watching him, Thor thought that truly Loki looked little different, seeming more a combination of Aesir and Jotunn. Though even if someone who looked like Laufey himself had knelt there, it shouldn't matter, because this was Loki using all of his power, ability and blood to try to save Midgard.

At first all seemed to go well. He stiffened, still murmuring, but did not seem in any undue distress. The power spread through Thor, seeking the edges of the spell, growing outward to embrace the city and beyond. It was invisible except a glimmer at the edge of his vision and a sense of … something out there, like the air just before Mjolnir brought the lightning.

It felt as if the entire Realm was holding its breath, poised and waiting everything to change.

For several moments the forces remained in balance, Loki reaching, but not enough to pull everything back.

His fingers went white on the edges of the casket, and his eyes narrowed to slits, seeing only the forces he was weaving, the rope of power he was twisting into something stronger than before. His jaw clenched, lips peeling back in a grimace as he fought for control.

It seemed to fight back. The air grew more chill and a terrible stillness spread across the land, as energy itself was pulled thin and pulled into that maw. The sky darkened to night and the only star that shone was the power at the heart of the Casket.

Thor opened and closed his hands, to make sure he still could, and he rubbed his face with his free hand to warm it, knowing it was very cold if he was feeling it like this. He couldn't stay in it long. But nor could Loki, not this - Frost Giant blood or no, he couldn't survive this heart of winter for long either.

 _Come, Loki, you can do this. Fight_ , he urged silently.

Loki could not have heard, but Thor didn't think he was imagining that the tingle on his skin strengthened with the forces swirling around them.

Loki's body bowed over the Casket, holding against the pain, still struggling.

Thor's grip on Mjolnir tightened, though there was nothing he could do, no way to help. He wanted to offer Mjolnir's power, but dared not interrupt Loki's concentration. And he wanted to tear Loki away from it, seeing the agony contorting his face. How long could he endure this? How long could Thor endure watching it?

The Casket's brilliance flared blinding bright, and Thor recoiled, only to realize it was not an explosion. Instead the fight had thrust deep into the heart of the Casket now. Thor held a fist over his mouth to keep back any sound, hoping, praying to anyone or anything to help his brother. If Loki faltered now, both he and Earth would be lost.

 _Help him, please. Save him. I only just got him back. I promised I wouldn't let go; don't make me a liar so soon_.

 _Loki, hold on_.

 

* * *

tbc....

 

 


	12. The Thaw

The bitter cold plucked at Thor deeply, threatening to pull his soul from his body, as hungry as it seemed to destroy all warmth and life. The darkness seemed to have weight, gathering deep and heavy all around. When he looked up it was as if he looked into not merely an absence of light, but an absence of everything.

The Realm held its breath, balanced on a blade...

But then... a breeze touched against his cheek. Like a feather, or a kiss. Slight enough he might have imagined it, except it was warm. That had been no accident.

He had to bite his tongue to keep from exclaiming something encouraging.

Then, all at once, the cold unraveled.

First the ice from the buildings' edges and the snow piled in drifts melted, but not to water. It simply vanished, drawn back into the Casket. What was once horrifying yet beautiful in its icy simplicity, turned gray and ordinary again. Yet the people were still frozen, and the sky remained dark with the storm.

Life returned. The bare trees along the avenue burst into green leaves, and the ice sculptures took on color and mass, returning to people, and they drew breath again.

The clouds drew away revealing a sky blue and a brilliant star above, shining down with warmth upon the planet and its people.

The hum of electricity returned, and the other sounds of the city followed. Thor heard confused shouts, and the noises of automobiles that was soon followed by honking of horns. It was very strange, as much of the city had been evacuated, but this portion of the city near the Tower could resume as if almost nothing had happened.

In the middle of the intersection in front of the fallen Stark Tower, Loki knelt, bowed over the Casket. For a moment he was unmoving but Thor saw him stir, peeling his fingers from the sides of the Casket, and his appearance returned to the familiar shade. He slumped across the Casket.

That broke Thor from his immobility and he rushed forward. "You have done it! Brother, you have succeeded!"

When Loki remained still and didn't respond, Thor knelt by him, worried. "Loki?"

The answer took a moment, but Loki gave a dry laugh. The sound made Thor smile with relief; Loki was awake. "I should use that reactor for all my spells."

"Well done, Loki." Thor gripped his shoulder and helped him as he straightened with a painful-looking slowness.

"Can you stand?" Thor asked.

"Tomorrow?" Loki joked wearily, but grabbed Thor's offered hand and let Thor pull him to his feet. His knees buckled, and Thor threw an arm around his waist to hold him up. "Oh. This is most unpleasant," Loki muttered, sagging in Thor's grip until he mustered energy enough to stand straight and push Thor's hand off. "I can walk."

Thor was less sure of that, but let Loki have his way. "We should clear this roadway," Thor stated. The vehicles had started to operate again, and it was only a matter of time before one of them found its way to them.

"Hand me the Casket and you carry the reactor. I will walk."

Thor handed him the Casket and tucked the reactor under one arm. He meant to carry Mjolnir in the other, but was forced to leave it in the road as Loki swayed and Thor had to grab him around the shoulders to keep him upright. Loki tried to elbow him off, but since Thor knew he'd fall on his face, he kept a grip on Loki until they were on the walkway. Loki leaned against the wall of the building, resting his head against the brick. Thor called Mjolnir back to him so no conveyance would damage itself against the hammer, and pulled Loki back into the deeper recess of a doorway to be less visible.

"Now what?" Loki asked. "They will recognize you shortly, you know. And me, I suppose." He tilted his head back and closed his eyes as if he cared little.

"You could use illusion and disguise us?" Thor had no wish for either of them to be recognized. There should be few mortals to recognize Loki, since he had not been much in public view during the battle or the aftermath, but it would only take one, for word to spread that the villain who had done such harm in New York was back again. As for himself, Midgardian media was a beast that he could not defeat - he knew that much already.

"No. I cannot," Loki muttered.

Thor was not surprised by the admission, though he was surprised Loki was awake at all. On Svartalfheim after wielding Mjolnir and the wild magic, he had fallen unconscious and not awakened for days.

Then everything got worse.

Loki gave a gasp, head pressed against the wall and his face suddenly pinched with distress.

"Loki! What is it?"

"Burns," Loki whispered. The corners of his eyes tighted to deep lines, as if he'd aged a thousand years in an instant.

Thor was about to ask what was causing it, but he felt it himself, as the atmosphere shivered with disturbance and the sky, which had been trying to clear, clouded over again. But Thor recognized the energies now. "Portal. Is it Thanos?" Thor asked urgently.

But Loki couldn't answer. His eyes were shut, jaw clenched, as the building energy of the portal overwhelmed his weakened defenses.

Thor set down the ARC reactor, and keeping one forearm across Loki to keep him upright against the wall, he gripped Mjolnir ready to attack whatever might come through.

The energy twisted into something familiar that told him he needed no weapon, only a breath before the clouds parted and a great force slammed down in the middle of the street.

It hit the back end of a vehicle and sending it lurching into a street lamp. It was a person, landing hard, and Thor recognized the armor. "Father has sent aid!" He groped for Loki's hand to squeeze it without looking away. He hoped he would see all his friends; instead, he saw only one but she was quite welcome.

Sif stood up. She was facing up the street, and became aware of the vehicles immediately, jumping out of the way of the nearest, as it honked at her from behind.

"Sif!" Thor called and waved Mjolnir to get her attention as she turned, looking for him. Spying him, she trotted over, having to push one vehicle with her boot to make sure it did not strike her.

"Thor!" she greeted. They clasped arms and she lifted her brows at Loki. "I would say, 'well met' but Loki is clearly unwell. How does he fare?" she asked Thor.

Loki straightened and opened his eyes. "I fare well enough," he answered for himself. Thor did not believe that, especially when Loki needed a little too long to ask the obvious question, "What brings you?"

"The queen sensed that you had the victory here, and she sent me to aid," Sif answered.

Loki frowned. "Aid? Aid what?"

"You are to bide here," she answered. "The All-Father finds it unlikely Thanos will not renew his attack, and wishes the Midgardians to keep our protection."

"No Asgard?" Loki asked and leaned back against the wall, letting out a sigh. "Of course."

"You need rest." Thor grabbed his shoulder in support. "Sif will help us return to Stark's boat."

Sif glanced at him sharply, but answered, "Of course. If you would share how I might do that?"

He did not know what they should do. Loki couldn't fly himself to the ship, nor use any of his means of teleportation. He couldn't walk to the pier, and would likely resist any attempt to carry him.

Thor was about to stop one of the many conveyances and borrow it, when he heard a distant shout and the distinct hum of an approaching quinjet. Loki's fingers shifted on the Casket, as if to ready himself. Thor laid a hand over his, stopping the motion. "It will be well," he reassured Loki. "They will not harm you. Do not attack them."

Loki's lips made a small wry smile. "I have nothing with which to attack them."

"But the Casket--"

He shook his head. "I may be able to call it forth, but I am too spent to control it. Which would be... ill-advised." He cast his eyes upward as the craft came into sight down the street, flying low in their direction. "I suppose I could use a rest. That chamber on the helicarrier was not uncomfortable. I assume they have rebuilt it by now."

"I will not allow them to hold you," Thor promised. He didn't like the look of bemusement that formed on Loki's face.

"Thor, even I admit they have cause." He closed his eyes again, his attitude weary and resigned.

Thor might have spoken but the quinjet's noise would have drowned out all but the loudest shout. He glanced at Sif to let her know to stay and watch Loki, as he went out into the street to signal the vehicle.

At first he shared Loki's concern that other SHIELD personnel would be aboard, but Lady Natasha sat in the cockpit at the controls. The craft landed in the middle of the intersection, chasing cars out from under it with a roar and loud horns. She gestured at him to get on board.

The back ramp opened and Thor grasped Loki around the waist again and they made their way through the traffic. Sif carried the ARC reactor, following behind. The Captain was there and stood aside as the Asgardians came aboard. Thor pushed Loki to sit down on the bench.

"This seems familiar," Loki observed dryly as he leaned against the wall of the craft.

Thor clasped his shoulder. "You see, brother? We are among friends." Loki flicked a skeptical glance up at him, but didn't argue.

"Steven Rogers, the Lady Sif," Thor introduced them to each other. Sif's gaze was appraising as she nodded to him.

His eyes widened a bit. "You're from Asgard, too?" he asked.

"I am, Steven Rogers. Well met."

From the front, Lady Natasha called, "Everyone ready?"

"Ready!" Rogers called back and took the opposite bench, buckling himself in the safety harness. "You fixed it. That was… amazing. Like magic."

Loki rolled his eyes. "It was magic."

"I thought it was science-" Rogers started but the noise increased and the craft lurched up into the air, and Rogers jerked on his harness in suggestion, shouting, "You might want to buckle up."

When Loki made no move to secure himself, Thor leaned down to do it for him. "Thor, no," Loki said, but Thor kept on pulling the straps down his shoulders.

"It is for safety. I know if this craft falters we will likely not die, but you said you cannot call upon your powers, so you--"

When Thor was bringing the harness together to the front buckle, Loki jerked his upper body back and thrust the Casket between them, not to wield the power, but as a physical block. "Stop." Ordinarily Thor would have ignored the request since Loki always thought prudent measures for his safety were Thor being too overprotective or high-handed, but this time there was a ragged edge to his voice. "Leave it."

It was not the words, but the tremors Thor could feel in the Casket, where it touched his chest, that gave him the clue he needed to understand. His gaze dropped to the straps in his hands, realizing they were a form of restraints. Thor wished he could take back his attempt, but all he could do was let the straps go and pull his hands back immediately. "Forgive me."

Loki set the Casket back in his lap and turned his head to stare out the window, ignoring Thor.

Thor settled on the narrow seat beside him. His eyes met Rogers' who was frowning in concern and grimaced at Thor in apology, apparently also understanding the problem.

Sif did not sit, standing to Loki's other side, and Thor wondered at it, but was pleased. It was good if they could recover their friendship of old.

They flew eastward over the water, and Thor marveled at the loveliness of this world - how vast it was, the azure skies and sea.

Loki slumped against him with such abruptness that Thor was alarmed, and he glanced across at Rogers, who understood his silent question. Rogers mimicked the position of Loki's head, with eyes closed, lips parted. Ah, Loki was asleep then, that was well. Relieved, Thor nudged Loki's head into a better position; Loki's eyes flicked open, showing that he was merely dozing, and he lifted his head away, stubbornly refusing to rest. But only a few minutes later, his head returned to Thor's shoulder, as the sound and vibration of the craft lulled his eyes closed again. Thor stayed still to be a pillow while Loki rested.

Thor could hear Natasha speaking over her communication system, apparently with Tony Stark, as the sleek, gleaming white ship came into view. Loki must have heard, too, as he sat up and his eyes opened. Natasha guided the craft to the circular pad with a gentle thud and started powering the craft down as the landing locks clunked into place around the wheels, to fix the craft in place even on the water. 

Thor glimpsed through the window at Hawkeye, standing on the higher mid deck, armed with his bow, and Thor wondered if he was going to try to use it. And how Loki would retaliate when he did. Tony Stark and Banner climbed up the ladder while Rogers opened the ramp.

Thor went ahead, standing between Barton's arrows and Loki, just in case. Loki stood on his own, still carrying the Casket, but as he stepped down from the craft, Thor put a hand under his elbow to steady him, in case his knees buckled. Loki jerked his arm away from his touch.

"You actually did it," Stark called to him heading closer as the engine noise faded. "There is no way in hell that should've worked."

Loki managed a tired smirk. "Your reactor helped."

"And we didn't all blow up, fantastic. You done with it?" Stark asked and Loki deliberately stepped out of the way so Stark could get it from the aircraft.

That put Stark directly in Sif's way, as she sought to leave the quinjet. Face to face, Stark said, "Why, hello. You are...?" He waved a hnd around, thinking, and then snapped his fingers. "Wait, I've got it, I know this..."

"Sif from Asgard," Steve introduced.

"C'mon, I almost had it," Stark complained. "You came with Thor to New Mexico."

She inclined her head once, and raised her brows. "You are?"

"You don't know? I'm wounded, really, deeply, wounded you never mentioned me, Thor? Not once? We fight together against aliens, and you don't even tell your friends about me. I'm hurt, buddy." All that was said to Thor, he presumed, though Stark didn't wait for a reply, introducing himself with a wave of his arm. "Tony Stark. Welcome to my yacht."

But Thor could not be bothered with Stark as Loki headed for the ladder to go down to the main deck. It brought him nearer to Banner, who seemed to have found clothes from Stark's closet. "You doing all right?" Banner asked with friendly concern.

Loki shrugged, as if it was nothing. "I am well."

Barton jumped from the high control deck to the landing pad, something Thor would not have thought a mortal should attempt, but he landed with a loud thump. "Good," Barton said. "Then we can call SHIELD and have your ass hauled off to the Fridge to rot."

That hostile voice instantly silenced the rest of the team.

"He just saved the planet, Clint," Rogers said, raising a hand to try to gesture him to be calm.

"From something he did himself," Barton reminded them, and raised his bow. "Something that wouldn't have happened if not for him. Just like New York. How many people does this guy have to kill before there's any justice?"

Thor's fingers tightened on Mjolnir and he took an angry step forward. "He who attacks my brother attacks me," he declared. "Loki suffered as you suffered, Barton, so do not speak thus."

At his side, Sif drew her sword as well. "Touch him and I will kill you."

"Thor, Sif, no." Loki put the Casket under one arm and set a hand on Thor's arm to have him be still. "He cares little for the nameless dead." Dropping Thor's arm, he prowled a few steps nearer to Clint. "It is all about him."

"Shut up. Your voice is still in my head. You made me kill people," Barton spat at him, infuriated, and drew back his bow.

Instead of getting angry or defensive, Loki burst into a scornful laugh. "Ah, is that the lie you're telling yourself? Is that what you told SHIELD? That I compelled you?" He moved a bit closer, cape billowing behind him and looked down into Barton's face from less than a meter away. "Shall I tell them the truth? The only thing I compelled was obtaining the iridium and taking the helicarrier out of action. _How_ to do that was your choice. I never told you to kill anyone. You did that all on your own." He leaned in close, eyes bright and teeth bared, as his hand wrapped around the arrow. "You were a killer before I came to Midgard; my service changed nothing of who you are." Then barely changing his tone and without shifting his eyes from Barton's, he said, "I am not so fatigued I cannot break his neck before that weapon touches me, so I advise you put it away."

Thor looked to Natasha to see her small pistol in her hand pointed at Loki's head. She returned with admirable coolness, "Back off from him."

"So you can shoot me more freely?" Loki countered. He tugged the arrow and it came into his hand, off the string. "I think not."

"I can shoot you whenever I want. Back off."

"Natasha, let's not--" Tony started.

But she cut him off. "He wanted you dead, Tony. He wanted all of us dead, and rule the world."

"I wanted all of you to serve me, not dead. Such exaggeration." Loki tapped Barton's chest with the tip of his own arrow. Barton looked very angry and yet confused that this confrontation wasn't happening quite as he intended.

She clenched her jaw at the interruption and continued in a tighter voice, "Are we really gonna pretend that didn't happen?"

"Yes. You are," Loki said and turned from Barton to face her, smiling with the challenge. He dropped the arrow to the deck and walked slowly toward her, fearless. Natasha held her ground and her hand was steady. "Do you want to play this game, little spider? Do you know what I can do to the explosives in your weapon before you can pull the trigger?"

She didn't take her eyes off him. "You're bluffing."

"Loki," Thor warned. Loki was certainly bluffing about having his magic, and having too much fun with this confrontation, baiting the mortals again, but Thor worried he was too tired to handle an actual fight.

"Hush," Loki said, grin turning fixed. "I want to have this out now." He beckoned with his free hand in invitation toward Romanoff. "Say I am bluffing and you shoot me. What then?"

"Then you'll be dead."

He eyed her weapon and lifted a brow in doubt at that conclusion. But he said nothing about the primitive nature of the weapon, instead asking her, "Do you know what an empty threat is? A lie. And lies are something of specialty of mine. You have no intention of shooting me, despite your loyalty to Barton, because you know that threat--" he pointed back toward the city, "is not an empty one." He turned in a slow semicircle, looking at all of them in turn. "Thanos is still coming. The ice was his first move, not his last. I am your best, and probably only, hope of stopping him." He shrugged and added scornfully, "Not out of the 'goodness of my heart' or any other such nonsense. I care nothing for your dull world. I would never have come back here of my own will. But I do want Thanos dead. So, you all have a choice: you can enjoy your transitory vengeance, or you can let me be, so I might prepare before Thanos' next attack."

He turned sharply, putting his back to Natasha and Clint in open invitation to attack him, but Natasha lowered her gun and re-holstered it.

"The enemy of my enemy is my friend?" Tony asked. "Is that what you're suggesting?"

Loki chuckled. "Friend? Let's not get carried away, Stark. I am no one's friend." He headed for the ladder, apparently deciding the conversation was over. He glanced back at them. "Choose wisely." Disdaining the rungs, he walked off the edge and thumped on the deck beneath. Thor leaned back to look over the edge and check that Loki had found his feet, which he had and was making his way to the prow of the ship along the narrow outside passage.

"Should've left his ass in the tower," Barton muttered.

"Too late for that now," Rogers said. "I don't like it either."

"Okay," Tony said, stepping forward to draw everyone's attention. "Let's make it simple. It's my boat and I say he stays. Anybody who can't deal with that, can take the quinjet and go."

Thor turned to him in some surprise. After Stark's previous words, he would not have expected such an ultimatum.

"After what he did to you--" Natasha started.

But Stark didn't let her finish. "Yeah, after that. And after I watched him freak out at one of the memorials, because he's full of crap about not caring. Look, he stuck his hand into this," he held up his ARC reactor's box, "something which should've crispy fried him, and he  _saved the world._ I'm not stupid enough to reject that sort of power on my side, just because he tried to conquer the planet once. He's staying, and if you don't like it, you can go." He started for the ladder, turned around, and grimaced. "Damn it, he already did the dramatic ultimatum. So, make up your minds."

Thor followed him down, though not into the main salon, but rather after Loki who had gone to the prow.

* * *

... tbc... 

 


	13. Posturing

Tony took the ARC reactor straight to the master control room and put it on the floor. His surly mood was not improved when JARVIS reported, " _Registering a satellite phone call, sir. From the Triskelion, Director Fury._ " 

"Oh this day doesn't quit, does it?" he muttered. "JARVIS, make sure you're encrypting our location data." 

" _As you wish, sir._ " 

Tony faced the receiver. "Evening, Nick. How's things?"

The stern visage of Nick Fury appeared on the screen. "Tony. Would you mind telling me exactly what the hell happened in New York? What did you do?"

"Do? Me? Nothing. It wasn't my fault!" Tony protested, overdoing it a little, but hey, it was true. "There was a portal, some magic thingamajig came through, made everything really cold, and me and Thor and Bruce fixed it." He lied boldly, hoping to skip right past the leather-and-cape-wearing failed conqueror.

Fury didn't quite buy it, glaring with his one eye at Tony. "I have a report of Thor _and_ his crazy brother on Park Avenue." 

"What? Loki? Haha. I haven't seen any goat-horned maniacs." Which was, mostly true, Loki didn't have his ridiculous helmet with him. 

"Oh, good. Because I can't imagine why you'd be protecting a war criminal, Tony," Fury warned. 

Tony grimaced. "So judgy. SHIELD isn't exactly innocent themselves, y'know. I've read plenty of secret files you don't want out there in public."

Fury's brows lifted into a deep furrow on his forehead. "You threatening me?"

"Do I need to?" Tony countered. He grabbed M&M's out of the dish and popped two in his mouth. "I'm just saying, pots and kettles. Glass houses. Clichés. Because I think if it actually _was_ Loki, you'd disappear him to some lab for 'experiments.'" He put air quotes around experiments, because what he really meant was torture and he wanted Fury to know he meant that. 

"I would not." 

Fury's indignation was refreshingly genuine, even if Tony didn't believe it for a second. "Your organization would. Because they have. Trials seem to be a bit sparse in the record, Nicholas. I have quite an allergy to torture on helpless prisoners, cuz, been there, done that, bought the shrapnel." He tapped the hard case in his chest. "So let's leave it as read that I'm not going to let it happen."

"He killed hundreds of people, mind-controlled my agents, and he brought in aliens to conquer our planet," Fury insisted, in an angry growl.

"And he threw me out of the Tower. I know. I was there. So he deserves to get chained up and autopsied alive? I don't think so." He thought of Loki before that memorial, upset and a bit crazy, and shook his head. "Look, it's not that simple. This big bad Thor told us about is real. He's the one behind Loki's attack then, and he's the one behind the magical blizzard now. Loki's our ally and, like or not, we need him."

Fury read between the lines. "Loki was in New York. You've seen him. Where is he?" 

Tony ate two more M&Ms and kept his gaze on Fury's so he wouldn't lift it and look at the two Asgardians on his sundeck. "Safe."

"I could require you to turn him over." 

" _Require_?" Tony snorted. "You can ask, pretty please, cherry on top, and I'm gonna say no."

"You don't want me to come get him," Fury warned.

"You know Thor's with him, right? Hovering very protectively over his little brother. Oh, and we've got another Asgardian, by the way. Lady Sif. Standing guard, too." Right outside the window, in fact, he could see Sif waiting at the entrance to the sundeck, watching Loki and Thor in the prow. Tony shook his head. "Nick, don't make this a disaster. Look, none of us did beans; it was all Loki who just saved our planet from an Ice Age, and maybe total destruction if that magnetic field weakening had continued. Do you want to piss him off, when the final boss fight is on the way?"

"Are you really going to put yourself outside the law like this? Harboring that monster?" 

It was like Nick didn't even hear him. Tony wanted to smack him in the face. He knew Nick could think outside the box, but right now he was acting like he'd never heard of not following orders blindly. 

"Well, you seem to think you're above the law, so we're even." Tony closed the connection with a sharp wave. "Damn it. JARVIS, initiate silent running mode. Head east, we need open water."

" _Yes, sir. Silent running mode engaged._ "

"Good. Since nobody took up my quinjet offer, I guess they're all staying. I'm going to go sabotage the quinjet's comms, before any of our weak links get any cute ideas." 

" _Sir, if I may inquire, are you certain of this course of action?_ " JARVIS asked, as close to a "are you out of your goddamn mind?" as he got. Apparently he was taking lessons from Pepper when Tony wasn't around.

Tony's gaze went to Loki and Thor standing at the rail, as Thor tried to pat his shoulder and Loki shook him off. Seeing the tall, dark haired figure silhouetted against the sky reminded Tony of facing Loki at the tower. At the time, he'd been fueled by the insane bravado of refusing to show how terrified he was of this alien invader. But it was different now. He thought of Loki lighting all those candles at the memorial, because of course he didn't give a damn for puny mortals. Was it nuts to pin his hopes on the thought that the God of Lies was lying about not caring? But as long as it was true that Loki wanted Thanos dead, their interests aligned anyway.

"Yes, JARVIS. I am. I know everyone's going to think it's crazy, but I don't think there's any other real choice. Even if Fury throws him in a cell in the Fridge and he doesn't get shipped off to some lab to get chopped up, all that'll do is make him hate us at a time some intergalactic evil mastermind is about to knock on our door. We can't afford that. And we certainly can't afford to piss off Thor, too. So I'm gonna keep Loki from SHIELD as long as I can." 

" _Understood, sir._ " 

Tony was glad someone did, and he blew out a long breath heading back to the quinjet to sabotage the comm system. Silent running mode should block all outgoing transmissions, but the quinjet could punch through JARVIS' jamming so it was best to block it now.

* * *

Thor found Loki at the front of the ship. It was mostly bare deck all the way to the pointed prow, and Loki stood in the shade back from the edge, looking to the ocean that stretched out before them, all glinting gold in the sunset's rays. "Loki, you should rest," Thor said.

Loki folded his arms. "I am well."

Thor rolled his eyes at that lie. "You are not. You are exhausted."

Loki glowered. "I am not a mortal to need _rest_." He brushed past Thor to head for the railing, his cape billowing and tangling briefly around Thor's leg. 

Thor followed. "And I am not one of them to be fooled by your posturing. You fell asleep on the flying craft." 

"It's called a quinjet. Has no one told you?" 

Thor was not even close to falling for that misdirection. He gripped Loki's shoulder, though Loki shook it off. "Loki." 

"What? I rested enough." 

Thor groaned in frustration. "Which is why you still wear your presentation armor," Thor observed dryly. 

"Why should I change?" Loki returned.

"You never wear your full cape in battle." 

Loki glanced deliberately to either side. "I see no battle here. Unless you mean your friends intend to attack me?" He lifted a brow at Thor.

"No, of course not," he reassured Loki.

"Good. I'm glad that's settled." He turned his head to seek out where Sif was standing and narrowed icy eyes at her. "I hope your eavesdropping has been illuminating." 

Not provoked, she lifted her brows at him and approached. "Your mood is turned quite foul. Thor is right; you should rest." 

"When I wish your advice, I will ask for it, which will be _never_ ," he snapped at her. "The mortals' hostility is more entertaining than the two of you and your incessant tongue-wagging."

He spun and stalked away. Thor started to follow, but Sif caught his arm. "Thor, let him be." 

Frowning, worried, Thor watched the direction he had gone. "He is exhausted." 

"No doubt," she agreed. "But the harder you push, the more he resists, you know this. Let him come to it on his own."

She was right, Thor knew that, but she did not understand the whole of the problem, either. "It is not only his goat-headedness." His hands curled around the railing and he added more softly, for her ears alone, "I think he fears to sleep. He revealed that Thanos was in his mind, forced upon him terrible visions. He believed Mother was dead and his hand had done it." He shook his head, remembering Loki's terrible confusion and his grief for something he had not done.

"That, at least, I can confirm is not true, as I came from her directly. She is unharmed, and Asgard had the victory. We fought with the jotnar, who make for fearsome foes, but also impressive allies," she added. 

Thor remembered giant battle prowess that he had taken so lightly and been proven quite wrong, and he was not surprised. "Malekith is defeated?"

"Utterly. He lives, but his halls are a ruin."

Thor wished Malekith was dead, but perhaps it could not have been helped. "Loki said Thanos had possessed Malekith?"

"So I was told. Loki and Thanos fought, and in the fight, somehow, Thanos was pushed out or retreated." 

Thor lifted his brows, impressed that Loki had fought Thanos in magical combat with any success at all. Everything Thor knew of Thanos' power suggested that was difficult.

Sif continued, "So the Eternal One waits beyond Jormungandr yet." 

"He will attack again, search for some new crack," Thor said. "Now that his ploy with the Casket has failed."

"And we will stand against him," Sif declared.

"Indeed," Thor agreed, sharing her bold determination. He wished most of all to slam Mjolnir into Thanos' face and avenge all he had inflicted on Loki that had made him a shadow of his former self. "Come, let us be sure the others are not taking advantage of his exhaustion and ill-temper." 

They went to the main seating area, a room that stretched most of the length of this deck inside, including a spacious area with comfortable seating, a dining area, and forward a kitchen space. Thor swiftly took a head-count: Rogers, Banner, Barton, and Romanoff were there. Loki and Stark were not. But since those two seemed unlikely to fight, Thor didn't worry that Loki was in danger and let himself and Sif be brought into the camaraderie of his Midgardian friends.

* * *

Loki hesitated at the hatch, heard voices, and decided he had no patience to deal with the mortals. He kept walking, heading aft of the ship to find a place where none of them would bother him.

The deck beneath the landing platform felt too dark and low so he climbed up. His body was reluctant to do even the most minor effort of climbing the ladder, and when he reached the upper deck, he was tempted to sit there and not move.

His cape billowed in the wind and wrapped the railing, and he remembered Thor pointing out that he should change it. He should take it off, but it seemed like too much effort. He wandered to the nose of the jet, seeking to go around to look at the propulsion system, but realized the entire back had no railing. Too tired to make a path or portal, he might actually drown if he fell in the sea. 

He laughed mirthlessly at the thought. If only the mortals knew how easy he would be to dispose of right now. One could shove him over the edge into the water and he would sink straight down, his density greater than his strength or breath to save himself.

It might be like falling into the void again, sinking down into the dark water... 

"You might want to stay back from the edge in case we hit a swell." 

A sudden voice made him start. He blinked, realizing he was looking down into the water. Stepping back, he turned to look. Stark was perched on the nose of the jet, where a panel was open. He wore the gauntlet of the suit and held a bright, sparking tool. 

After a moment, Stark lifted his brows and gestured with his free hand in invitation. "Did you want something?"

"From you? No. I thought the platform would be empty. What are you doing?"

"Sabotaging the quinjet's communications, so it can't contact SHIELD. Just in case any of our friends get too eager to phone home."

Loki walked closer, frowning at him and tilted his head to regard Stark curiously. "To protect me."

"Yeah, don't remind me." He shut the panel with a snap. "Look, Thor backs your claim that you're our play against the big bad. I saw what you did with the reactor, so I believe it. I still think you're a crazy megalomaniac, but you're what we've got. And locking you up doesn't help anybody." 

"That would never happen, Stark." He smiled thinly, remembering. There had been more than one reason he'd made sure Asgard knew he was on Midgard. Though in hindsight he knew that calculus was influenced by needing to get the tesseract and Gauntlet near one another. He didn't want to think of that, though. "Barton was quite thorough in his description of what befalls those aliens that come into their possession."

Stark glanced his way, brows lifted curiously. "Aliens? Plural? Not just the Chitauri?" 

Loki chuckled. "Oh, your world may be a primitive backwater, but others have found their way to it over the years. Asgard tracks them, but cannot remove them all."

"I should look in those files, find the aliens." Stark wriggled down the panels to let himself down to the deck. "So speaking of that, I was curious if I could see your other look."

"My other what?" Loki repeated, keeping his tone ignorant, even as his heart seemed to freeze up in his chest and icy claws tore at his insides with sudden anxiety.

"The blue skin," Stark answered, with a casual shrug. "I only got a glimpse, and I wanted to see it again." 

The confirmation of what he had been hoping wasn't what Stark meant, nearly made Loki vomit all over the deck at the thought that these mortals knew. Stark knew; he'd seen. "No," Loki could barely shove the word out of a throat that had closed up. He tried walking away, and Stark pursued him.

"Oh, come on, it's interesting--"

Loki whirled around and glared in his eyes. "I am not here for your entertainment," he hissed through his teeth. The mortal looked back with that infuriating disregard for his place in the universe.

"I didn't say that," Stark insisted. "It's not to mock you, if that's what you're thinking. I mean, I can mock you without seeing it again, right, Grumpy Smurf?" 

Loki clenched his jaw, knew he was being baited, but he still had to know. "And what is a Smurf?" 

"A small blue creature. Fictional. Wears a white hat. I think they're Dutch. Danish.Whatever." He waved a hand. "Point is, they're blue." 

Loki wondered if these 'Smurfs' were based on old memories of when Jotunheim had attacked Midgard, but shook his head, trying to get rid of the thought as useless distraction. "You will not call me Smurf or any of your other stupid epithets," he warned.

"Or what?"

"Do you enjoy having your head attached to your neck?" Loki returned and walked away, hoping it was done.

Of course, he should've known better. "Calling your bluff, Grumpy Smurf."

Loki groaned, irritated, and folded his arms. He focused murderous thoughts at Stark, hoping one of them might gather enough wild magic to happen on its own. It didn't. But thinking about it was as far as he was truly willing to go, though he wished otherwise.

"Figured." Stark's voice was more thoughtful when he added, "You shouldn't let it get to you." 

"You understand nothing." 

"Now that's not actually true, I understand a lot of things. And one of those things is that nobody should be ashamed of who they are. I mean, actions, sure, I hope you're ashamed of what you did in New York and all that. But not for what you were born."

Loki let out a bitter short laugh. "You don't even know _what_ I was born, Stark, so spare me your ignorant blather." 

"Fine, fine, you don't want to hear it. I get it. But here's the deal – you're a Smurf. And I'm gonna keep calling you Smurf until you relent and show me what you really look like again."

"Is that your idea of a threat?"

"Nope. A promise. That, to me, it was awesome." Loki barked a laugh at that. Stark was so... ignorant, it was unbelievable. But he wasn't finished, adding, "You were my first alien that wasn't one of those Chitauri bug people, and I want to see."

" _Never._ " 

"We'll see, Reindeer Smurf. But I'm hungry, so we'll have to deal with your issues later. I'm going to find some food. You're welcome to join me."

Loki could not think of anything he'd like less, but managed to reply without clenching his jaw too hard, "I need nothing." 

"Suit yourself." 

He was glad when Stark climbed down the ladder to the main deck and left him alone on the landing pad. He laid a hand on the jet as a wave of light-headednes left him unsteady. He wasn't hungry at all, but despite what he'd said, he knew he needed rest. But rest meant sleep and sleep meant dreams, and as short a time as he'd slept on this jet on the way here, he'd felt the looming shadow in his mind. He remembered enough of his nightmares under the influence of the Casket to know he didn't want to deal with them again. Not yet, at least. 

A sudden sharp pain in his head drove him to his knees, and he held his head with his hands. Luckily it was short and soon ended. He looked up, wondering what it had been, to spy Munin winging his way down. 

"Pigeon."

Munin landed on the wing edge of the jet, cocked his head to fix one yellow eye on Loki. He had something in his mouth which he lowered his head in offer to Loki, who reflexively held out a hand to receive it. Munin dropped a hazelnut in his palm. "Nut," the raven said. "From queen. And this." 

He held out his left foot too, where he held a small message cylinder, and Loki took that and gave him back the nut. "Here, surely this is yours." 

Munin didn't argue with the gift, swallowing the nut. 

Loki gripped the message in his hand, glad to know she was still there. Still alive. But did he want to hear what she had to say? He already knew from Sif that he couldn't come home yet. Nor did he want to hear any disappointment about how he'd almost destroyed Earth.

Munin poked his hand. "See her." 

"Why?" he asked Munin. "She'll cloak it in softness, but the message will be the same: I was supposed to come here to help, but I failed. Made everything worse. And so I must stay here and fight Thanos, even though I probably couldn't fight a butterfly right now." His voice turned ragged, and he had to inhale a deep breath to get himself back under control. 

Munin rubbed his beak on the back of Loki's hand. He looked down at the bird, wearily surprised the bird was showing him any interest at all. "Watch message, cub. The truth is not so dismal as your fears." 

With resignation, he held out his hand and activated the message. It grew into a full-sized hologram of Frigga, transparent and glowing, but displaying that she was still armored and wore a sword that he smiled to see. She looked very fierce, and appeared to be in Asgard by the shadowy colums behind her. 

The image oriented itself to his eyes and she smiled. "Hello, Loki. Though I sent Sif to you, I also wanted to send you my love more directly now that we know of your victory. Your father and I are proud of you, my son. You controlled the Casket of the Ancient Winters, and that is a great achievement. Do remember you need rest, little one, and food. I know mortal food is difficult for you, but you need to find something to rebuild your energy."

Her eyes softened with sympathy and she held out a hand as if to touch him. "I know you want to come home, darling. Sigyn has told me how you suffered in Svartalfheim." He gasped and almost as if she heard, she nodded. "Yes, she still lives, and she has left Svartalfheim to come with me and wait in Asgard for you. She says she owes you something that you may collect when you return." Her smile suggested she had suspicions of that that 'something' might be, and she was pleased by it. 

Loki closed his hand tightly around the small cylinder halting its playback. "She's alive?" he whispered.

To his surprise Munin answered, "Sigyn Durns-daughter is with the queen, yes. Made welcome guest in Asgard." 

"Is she-- is she well?" he asked, his voice rough. "How does she fare?"

"She fares well, cub."

He felt dizzy and had to lean against the jet as his legs felt weak. This was all too much. His mother was still alive, Sigyn was still alive, and Odin wasn't angry or disappointed? It seemed like it must be a dream, but if it were, he would rather not wake from it.

Spirits rejuvenated by this surprising turn, he reactivated the message and Frigga continued, "Stay with the mortals, protect them against Thanos. Your father says you need to check Jormungandr when you are able; he fears it is weakening. Be strong, little one. I know this is a time of trial for you, but know this-- I believe in you. Your father believes in you. Only you can do what must be done, but do not try to do it alone. Thor and Sif, and these powerful mortals must be your allies. Work with them. See to it that evil is defeated, together. You can do this. I have a message for Thor, as well, so give this to him. My love goes with you always, Loki." Then as the image began to fade, she reminded him, "Eat something! And rest!" 

Then she vanished, and he looked at the empty air where she'd stood. His heart eased those tight bands that had held back his breath for so long, and he released a long sigh. 

Munin hopped up on his hand. "Food."

loki lifted his hand to Munin was level with his eyes and teased. "You're just lucky I can't eat you, bird." 

Munin launched himself off Loki's hand and scraped talons through his hair, not amused, but Loki chuckled anyway. Munin circled the boat while Loki made his way down.

Loki pulled open the hatch that opened into the main lounge area, to find Sif and Rogers arm wresting at the table, while the others egged them on. It was a scene so familiar to his life before that his step hesitated, an old feeling of standing on the outside struck and he nearly ducked back. 

But Stark saw him. He was behind the bar, pouring himself something to drink. "Hey. Look who decided to be sociable. There's food in the galley, help yourself. You want that drink finally?"

Loki was about to reflexively refuse, but it sounded appealing. "Yes, I do." Stark made a second of what he was pouring for himself and slid the glass down the bar to Loki to catch. Loki saluted him with the drink in thanks, and turned to watch the match. 

In the fight, Rogers and Sif were both straining, and Loki was surprised they were evenly matched. So if it was not a matter of pure strength, they should be measured by something else. He fished out an ice cube and crushed it between his fingers. The odd noise startled Rogers enough for Sif to slam his hand down with a triumphant cry. 

Rogers turned to glare at him. "Hey! That's interference."

Loki shrugged, unrepentant, and shook the ice shards from his hand. "It was fair. She was focused, you were not." Sif grinned and saluted him with her flagon. "Thor!" he called to get his attention, and tossed the cylinder. "There's a message for you."

Thor grabbed it out of the air and grinned. "Sif has shared the news. I am sorry to have missed such a great battle." He headed outside to see Frigga's message to him, while Loki ducked into the kitchen area to look for something to eat. 

As he prodded suspiciously at the food spread out on the counter, he sipped at the drink. There was strange plastic-looking yellow sauce and what were supposed to be vegetable chips but smelled of salty aluminum. Black and white circular sweetened things did not smell like food at all. Other things he knew would make him ill. Nothing he could eat. He hurled a platter of some foul things and his tumbler at the closed cabinets of the pantry. The smashing glass did nothing to ease his abrupt surge of temper. "It is no wonder you breed and die like rabbits when your food is so _abominable_!" 

There was dead silence in the other room and they stared at him when he emerged. Rogers started to say something, but Loki ignored all of them to grab two bottles off the bar. Hating that he didn't have enough strength to teleport himself through the door, he shoved open the hatch and fled back outside, to get away from them and their wretched existence.

* * *

... tbc...


	14. Confessions

* * *

In the wake of Loki's exit, there was a moment of silence. "Well," Tony said finally, "He just dissed my food, didn't he?"

"It is rather collegiate," Romanoff pointed out.

"Oh, don't start with me. It's not like I had time to stock up before the snow started falling."

Steve said, "We all understand that, Tony. We're not complaining."

Tony glanced at Romanoff, because that had been a complaint. " _Collegiate_ " – What was that supposed to mean? She didn't even know about college, did she? He and Bruce were the only ones who had gone to college. "Well, I'm sorry the food's not up to royal Asgardian standards or whatever, but we'll have to make do," he said stiffly, glowering in the direction of the open hatch.

"It's not that," Sif intervened. She paused, glanced at the hatch too as if hoping for Thor to come back, but continued, "He, um, Loki doesn't eat meat. Or anything that came from animals."

"What? He's vegan?" Tony asked, dumbfounded. "Are you kidding me? Why?"

"Not for moral reasons," Clint muttered.

SIf narrowed her eyes at him, but didn't confront him. "It makes him ill. He eats separate meals from everyone, always has," Sif explained. "I was told Malekith forced him to consume meat to poison him. And before that he last ate at home, I think."

Bruce frowned. "Animal proteins are toxic to him? How is that possible?" 

Sif shook her head. "I know not. The queen told me his problem derives from the same flaw which makes his stature what it is, instead of what should be full Frost Giant height."

"I never saw him eat," Clint offered, more subdued now. "Drink, yes. But he never touched food." Tony hoped that Clint was starting to chill about Loki being around. Granted, it was a tough position to be in, on the same boat as the guy who'd warped his brain, but it was pretty clear that Loki had a pile of his own issues and he was the one with the superpowers.

He was also the one who hadn't eaten at least since Thor had dropped into Tony's living room. No wonder he was ill-tempered, getting poisond and exhausted besides. If he couldn't eat anything in the galley, Tony should do something about that.

He drained his glass and set it on the bar with a thump. "Okay. I'll fly back to the city. Pepper's gone vegan twice, so I know where to get some good stuff."

"It is something known here?" Sif asked curiously. "Humans eat that way by choice?"

In her question was the underlying assumption that no one did it by choice in Asgard. "Some," Tony answered, checking the charge on the suit. "Be back in a few. Nobody poke the crazy while I'm gone, okay? I'd hate to find out from JARVIS the yacht sank because Antlers had another tantrum." He thought the reminder that they were on a boat in the middle of the Atlantic would do more to keep everyone calm, when there was no shortage of things and people on board to go boom.

"We'll be fine," Steve reassured him, though Tony wasn't really worried about _him_ poking the crazy. But as long Steve was willing to be den mother, everything would be fine.

* * *

Frigga's form faded and Thor smiled, wishing he could reassure her that he was well. It was good news mostly, though he longed to have been there at the battle with Svartalfheim and be home to assist the defenses. But staying here was important, too.

The hatch slammed open for Loki, who slipped outside and headed up the ladder to the mid-ship upper deck without calling a greeting. The seeking of solitude meant he was upset, and also he was neither resting nor eating as Frigga had instructed, so Thor knew he was going to have to deal with that.

The hatch opened again a few minutes later, for Stark, who approached Thor. He looked around, apparently for Loki, and murmured, "Sif told us about Loki's food problem. So I'm going into the city to get something he can eat."

"That is most generous of you."

Stark shrugged. "Not really. Not if I want to preserve my dishes." The demur made Thor smile; he and Loki were much alike in their attempt at pretense. "No animal products at all, right? No milk, no cheese, none of that, only fruits, grains, that sort of thing? Which I've always thought terrifically boring but not much he can do about it, I guess. What about you?"

Thor considered asking for something with fewer additives, but that seemed rude. "I need nothing special. But yes, he does not eat animal products."

"All right. Tell him I'll be back soon." Stark activated the Iron Man suit, which formed around his body with a smooth, metallic precision and then he lifted off, heading back toward the city.

It would be good, if Stark could fetch decent food. Knowing him, he'd fetch more than enough for everyone, now that the crisis had passed, and Thor could eat something without the odd flavors laced in everything as well.

Thor remembered how once he had been jealous of Loki's special plates. He even had his own _kitchen_ , which had seemed something Thor should have, too. He had only realized later how much it had set Loki apart, even as a child. Loki had to face down his inability to share in the feast after the hunt, and the inevitable mockery for his delicate stomach. The one time Thor remembered Odin being furious at something done _to_ Loki, rather than what he had done, was when someone had put meat broth in his soup as a prank. Thor had been young enough to worry his brother would die of the illness. But after that, he'd understood it was a real and dangerous problem, and he had never been jealous again.

He glanced upward in Loki's direction, ashamed by the memory anew. _Each mockery of your rabbit food must have been a drop of rain: a few was nothing, more were tolerable, but unceasing jests turned to deluge. Resentment grew into a flood until I wonder that you came back to us at all_...

Thor climbed the ladder to the upper-most level of the ship, to find Loki slouching in the tall captain's chair with his boots on the rail and a bottle of vodka in his hand, while he watched the stars above.

Loki acknowledged his presence with silent offer of the bottle.

Thor declined with a shake of his head. "Thank you, no. Stark has departed to acquire you proper food."

"Sif should not have told them without my permission," Loki muttered.

"They need to know," Thor answered. "So they will not poison you by mistake."

Loki barked a laugh. "So they can poison me with deliberation? Excellent plan."

Thor inhaled a deep breath, for patience, and reminding himself that Loki was a candle-wick consumed to the last fraying threads. "They will not. Sif thought only of your welfare."

"I have no intention of eating whatever foul swill Stark brings back, so she should not have bothered."

"You need to eat something," Thor insisted, and when Loki's expression stayed sullenly hostile to the idea, Thor added, "Mother told me to ensure you eat."

To Thor's surprise, Loki's lips flickered in a rueful smile. "She told me twice. She knows me too well."

Thor was not such a fool to take that for agreement but insisting now would only strengthen Loki's resolve when food arrived, so Thor changed the subject. "She told me something else as well. You have been keeping something back from me, brother."

Loki flinched guiltily and demanded, "What are you talking about?"

"In Svartalfheim."

"Oh. That." Loki turned away and drank. "I am keeping a great many things to myself about that place," he answered quietly.

Thor winced inwardly, realizing he'd come at this intended moment of lightness all wrong. "I hope you know that when you are ready, I will listen. I will not make the same error twice, I swear. You can speak to me about it."

"Not now," was all Loki answered.

"Very well, not now. But that was not what Mother told me about Svartalfheim." Thor tried to lighten the mood. "She said Lady Sigyn has escaped from Malekith and come to Asgard. She is worried for you. And she claims that you and she shared a _deep bond_."

The emphasized final words got Loki's attention, incredulous eyes turning to him. "She did not say that."

Thor chuckled, amused by his discomfiture. "She did. And so I was wondering, brother, what happened between you to create this _deep bond_?" he teased and was relieved when Loki responded as he expected.

"Nothing!" Loki replied, sitting straighter in his chair and bringing his feet down to the deck. "We spoke together, nothing more than that."

"Oh, it must have been more than that, for her to come so far and take such risks to find you. To wait for you. One might think you made her _promises_ …"

Loki rose from his chair, spluttering denials before he belatedly realized Thor was teasing him, and groaned. "You. Are. Insufferable."

Thor chuckled and shook his head, pleased to have gotten Loki so flustered. "Truly, I am glad to know you had some help there."

Loki flopped back in his chair, and after a moment, he murmured, "Her mother was Ljosalfar."

That was surprising news. He had never heard that Sigyn was aught but Malekith's full blooded sister. "Was she?"

Loki nodded. "Durn made Sigyn hide her appearance with illusion. But she showed me her true face, because she knew… she saw…" Loki paused and finished in a low murmur, "…me." He held up his free hand and the pale pink color peeled back from his fingers to reveal the bluish tone and black nails. Thor resolutely did not allow his own eyes to shift away from the sight, reminding himself that Loki had the far more difficult part of reconciling the truth to himself.

Abruptly the Jotunn coloring disappeared again. Loki took a drink from the bottle and added with false lightness, "Ironically, the combination has given her quite an Aesir appearance. Which makes me wonder from whence the Aesir sprang, perhaps crossbreeding between the alfar...."

Thor had to smile at that. "Was I so easy to provoke before, or is that a measure of your exhaustion?" Loki's sidelong glare was baleful, but he didn't deny his intent to needle Thor, so Thor just shook his head. Loki's taunts had been harsher during his time imprisoned and Thor had grown wiser in parsing his true intent. Here, he figured it meant Loki was trying to distract him. He'd found something in common with Sigyn and they had bonded over it. Loki needed someone who was not his family believing in him, and Thor was pleased to hear it.

After a moment of silence, Loki admitted, "I manipulated her into freeing me. Durn had been terrible and I knew if I could get her to turn on Malekith as well, she would help me. And she did. But I grew to fear when Malekith discovered her treachery, he would kill her." He dangled the bottle from his fingers over the arm of the chair, and then added in a murmur, looking down, "Yet even he was not so mad as harm his sister."

Thor realized why he seemed ashamed, and set a hand on his shoulder. "Loki. No. It is forgiven and forgotten. Let it go."

Loki jerked his head, maybe in assent, though Thor knew better than to think he was truly going to let it go. Loki hoarded offenses-- his own against other people were measured just as assiduously as others' against him, only kept more deeply hidden. It was one of the truths about Loki that Thor thought Loki didn't see in himself, but told Thor that Loki was a better person than he believed he was.

As much as Thor wanted to persist with the questioning, curious about what Loki actually felt for this woman, he let that go as well. It was probable Loki himself had no idea, and the last thing Thor wanted to do was push him into rejecting her out of stubbornness or some form of misplaced pride. "If she helped you then I am pleased Lady Sigyn found her way to Asgard. I hope you can speak with her in more peaceful circumstances when we return home. Speaking of home, Mother told me to be sure you rested, also."

Loki heaved a sigh and lifted the bottle to drink again. "I should have pitched the message overboard and said there was none for you," Loki muttered. "I am perfectly well."

"Form a flame, and I will leave you be," Thor challenged, knowing Loki could not do it. He was still wearing his long cape, which draped beneath him on the seat, and that could only mean he was too tired to change it.

"I don't wish to."

The sullen denial was enough confirmation, and Thor decided he was not about to be disobeyed on this. "Loki. Great spellcraft drains you - I have observed your work long enough to know that. And what you did with the Casket was surely one of the greatest spells of the last thousand years. It's most impressive you are conscious at all. But there is no Realm in which you are 'perfectly well'. Drinking is no substitute for rest or food."

He plucked the bottle from Loki's fingers, finding it was mostly empty and drained the last of it himself. "Come. At least sit down amid companionship while we await your feast."

Loki resisted. "You go. I would rather remain outside."

Thor paused. "Are you certain?" he asked.

Loki shot him a look, surprised, and waved a hand in dismissal. "Your friends are below. No need to hover over me, when they are more entertaining."

The words and the tone were so familiar it was an echo from Asgard, whenever Loki would send Thor away. In the past Thor had respected his wish to brood alone, not understanding that each time he had done it, he had confirmed Loki's belief that Thor cared more for his friends than for his brother. So this time Thor turned back and leaned against the operations console of the vessel, folding his arms.

"I will not seek entertainment when you need companionship."

"I require nothing of the sort." Loki groaned and cast his eyes upward, as if Thor caused him no end of aggravation. He reached down and picked up the bottle from the deck. "But fine. I have another bottle of this weak excuse they have for drink to share, if you must be a nuisance."

The lack of genuine protest or anger told a different story than his words, and his eyes shone with relief that made Thor glad of his choice. He took the bottle Loki held out to him.

* * *

 

tbc... 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> (this chapter has the reference that was expanded into [ Tales of the Storm: Poison at the Feast ](http://archiveofourown.org/works/3802294) if you're curious. )


	15. Wolves and Stags

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> and it's back! thank you for your patience, and I hope y'all had a happy holiday/new year. 
> 
> now let's return to The Boat o' Angst, and a long chapter where you find out that Loki's not a happy drunk. You're shocked, I'm sure. :)

* * *

Thor went below to fetch another bottle and Loki closed his eyes. He didn't want to sleep, knowing what he would find there, but the sounds of the sea were soothing while the bite of salt in the breeze kept him alert. He opened his senses to the energy-- the faint tendrils from the distant stars, the constant hum of the Earth's magnetic field, the faint grumbling within its restless heart, the shimmering cloak that was everywhere and nowhere, separating this Realm from the others, and beyond that the quiet watchfulness of the barrier that held the Nine Realms safe. He wanted to see if Odin was right, and whether the barrier was weaker than it ought to be.

But a chill passed over his skin and the ache grew to a stabbing pain behind his eyes, warning him that reaching for any of it was beyond him right now. Pressing on his forehead, he focused again on the nearer distance, hearing a step creeping across the foredeck, as a shadow slid across the top of the yacht. He didn't open his eyes but he smiled and called softly, "I feel quite mortal if you seek vengeance, Barton."

Identifying him should have warned him off, but instead, Barton drew his bow and fired.

Loki caught the arrow with his free hand and looked at it curiously, glad when this one didn't explode. That might ruin his chair and he didn't want to move. "I said I felt mortal, not that I was." He tossed the arrow over the side to the sea below. "But you have had your shot. Do not do it again."

"Or what?" Barton demanded and jumped from the roof of the yacht to the deck, aiming another arrow at Loki. "You'll make me your dog again?"

Loki thought Barton was probably trying to intimidate him from the short range, but even if Loki failed to catch one of his arrows it would only hurt, so it seemed tiresome. He sighed. "No, I would probably kill you. But I would rather sit here and wait for Thor to return with something else from Stark's liquor cabinet. Thor and I are stuck here until Thanos comes, or until I recover enough to go elsewhere, so I have no interest in harming you, or anyone, really." He dangled the bottle off his fingers, watching it swing idly. "Not that I did. Before, I mean. It just seemed … inevitable. It was conquest, which is never without death, as every corner of this Realm can attest. All of you conquer and were conquered, your mortal lives given over to war and death. I sought to end it. This freedom you praise so highly is the means you are controlled by those who throw your short mortal lives on a pyre for their own glory. You humans kill more of each other in a single day than I, yet everyone says I am such a monster." He let out a bitter laugh. "Well, the jest was on me all along, and it turns out I was born one. I hate that more than you can imagine. But … there are monsters worse than I am. They lurk in the shadows and attack when you sleep…"

Barton seemed uncertain what to do with that - as if he wanted to be angry, but Loki's words had caught him unawares. He lowered the bow and frowned at Loki with some incredulity. "Are you drunk?"

"Not enough." He wanted to drink enough to pass out like a mortal, but he doubted he could since this was simple ethanol. He lifted the bottle to examine how much he had left, drank the remainder, and grimaced. "I like the vodka better."

"I remember," Barton allowed grudgingly. "Is it true what Sif said, you get poisoned by meat?"

"No." Off Barton's look, he chuckled, amused. "Yes, of course. Why would Sif lie about it? Animal foodstuff makes me quite unpleasantly ill, always has, but it is not lethal. So keep that in mind if you are considering meat arrows," he warned, smirking.

"No, I meant - Sif told us Malekith did it deliberately."

Loki grimaced, wishing Sigyn had kept quiet, since she was the only way Sif could know, and now all the Avengers knew. His insides cramped, in memory of it. "It was no accident." Remembering how Malekith had laughed while he'd done Thanos' bidding made him want to drink, but the whiskey was empty. He licked out the last few drops, disappointed Thor wasn't back yet.

"Two bottles?" Barton noticed the empty one on the deck and raising his eyebrows.

"A third soon. If you want to join us."

That made Barton frown at him. "Seriously?"

Loki waved the empty bottle at him. "Why are people always asking me that? Everyone assumes I lie all the time, but most of the time I tell the truth, but no one wants to hear it. Yes, I am inviting you to drink with us. It's, uh," he lost track of the right word, peering at the label of the bottle as if it might have it written there, then remembered, " _manners_."

"What makes you think I would possibly say yes?" Barton demanded.

Loki shrugged. "I know what it was like. I know the worst part is that it wasn't as terrible as you think it should be."

Barton froze and whipped up the bow again to aim at Loki, his hands steady but his voice trembled, "How - how dare you - you don't know anything - "

Loki gave a wry smile and said, not without some sympathy, "I was the one who cast it, Barton; do you think I know nothing of how it works? Be honest with yourself if no one else, it showed you nothing you are not. It gave you clarity and direction, and there is a part of you who longs to for that clarity again, even when you know it is not what you truly want." His gaze held Barton's until the bow lowered again, and Barton looked away. Loki turned to face the far horizon and he sighed. "I wish none of it had happened, but unlike the winter, I cannot undo it. Those seeds were sown long before you were born and their harvest was fated always to be bitter."

An uneasy silence fell in the wake of his words. Loki looked up at the stars, thinking with sour humor that at least Frigga would approve of his metaphor if not the sentiment of inevitability. But then, she had never understood the seeds she was planting. She'd shielded her sprout from the truth that he was growing in the wrong garden, deep in the shade, growing thorns and poisonous fruit. He was nothing but a weed in her garden that should have been plucked out long ago, but she kept tending it as a flower, blind to its nature. 

Barton broke the silence. "Just tell me one thing - Why me? Why'd you pick me?"

Loki shrugged. "You were there."

"So it was bad luck?" Barton asked. "Not because you thought I would be … an easy mark?"

Loki considered what to say. The truth was he had watched Barton long enough to believe he would be vulnerable to the scepter and the spell, and even so he had been surprised by the fervent direction it had taken. But that seemed unnecessary to rub in his face when he was trying to get Barton to stop trying to kill him. "You had the information and skills. That was all I wanted."

"You never threatened my family," Barton murmured. "Not to Natasha, not to me. Even after I slipped your leash."

Loki examined the bottle and lifted one shoulder in a shrug. "I suppose I could have punished you by doing something to them. Perhaps transfiguring them all into pigs. That is an amusing spell and I get so few chances to use it." He smiled, anticipating the outrage, but Barton didn't take the bait.

"And you still haven't told anyone, have you? You haven't tried to use them as leverage to get me to back off. Why?" Barton asked.

Loki upended the bottle but it had not magically refilled itself, letting out only a few sparse drops into his mouth. He sighed. "Do you want me to? You can assume I did, if you like."

"No, I just don't understand."

"I have no way to carry out such a threat. What would be the point?" Loki returned. It was true, though the true reason was that he hadn't thought of it. "You and I must deal with each other, as we are. But perhaps it is consolation to know you could not have resisted. You are only mortal."

 _Unlike me. I could have resisted. I could have been less blinded by rage, to see what was before me and know he was using me for his own ends_.

"If you hold out tainted meat and the hungry wolf takes it, is it a choice?" Loki mused. "If it sickens, is it the fault of the one holding it, or the wolf for taking it? But if the wolf is in fact a stag and should not be eating meat, and still takes it, then surely it is the stag's fault for being a fool? Yet if the stag thought it was a wolf, then it is the fault of those who lied to it, is it not?" That stung and he shied away from the rage reflexively rising at the thought. "But the stag was desperate, hunted - something we used to do quite a lot in Asgard, though I went only because I ought. Stags and boars mostly, for meat I could never consume. It all seemed like the greatest waste of my time." He stopped, blinking, wondering exactly how he had come to talk about hunting. "I seem to have misplaced my point."

Barton shook his head and snickered. "You are so fucking drunk right now."

"No, I cannot be. It is supposed to bring numbness and forgetfulness. I have neither." He tested his powers, or tried, but he burned within. Far worse was the looming shadow, awaiting its chance to remind Loki that there was no escape. He needed more drink to chase that away.

But at least this time reaching for his powers, he sensed Thor nearby. He was standing on the deck at the bottom of the stairs that led up here, listening to him and Barton and probably ready to intervene if they tried to kill each other. He called, "You can bring up the other bottle, Thor."

Thor climbed up, carrying two bottles and he held them up for Loki to see. To Loki's disappointment, they appeared to be whiskey and gin, not vodka. The mortals made such a variety of ethanol and flavor combinations.

Thor explained his failure to get what Loki had bidden him to fetch. "There was no more vodka. Friend Barton, you will stay and drink with us?"

Barton's eyes went from one to the other and then shook his head. "You two gonna leave any for the rest of us?"

"That depends on how soon Stark returns." Loki stretched to snag the gin out of Thor's hands and pulled off the cap. He threw it overboard, as he did not intend to need it again. It would taste better chilled, but this would do. He slouched more deeply in his chair, bottle resting on his stomach and his boots hanging over the rail. "You should have some, Barton. It is pleasing."

"No, I'll go below."

Before Barton got away, Loki called after him, "Are you going to try to kill me again? Or might we call a truce until Thanos is defeated?"

"I - I don't know..." he trailed off, uncertain. "You stay away from me, do what you gotta do, and get the hell out."

Loki smiled inwardly but knew better than to show his amusement. "Truce, then. Thank you."

Barton slid down the ladder to the main deck and went inside. After some silence, broken only by drinking, Loki realized Thor was watching him. "What? You have that look on your face again."

"You all but invited him to attempt to kill you later when Thanos is defeated."

Loki shrugged. "He can try. But I think he will not. You see, Thor, the problem is not that I forced him to do what he did not want, but what he did. No amount of influence changes that." He drank from the bottle, knowing it was true. Thanos' influence hadn't made him into someone he was not either - it had only brought forth the part of him that wanted those things.

Quietly Thor asked, "You hate that you were born?"

Loki felt queasy.. Has he said that aloud? He waved a hand, to push it away. "That was not what I meant. I was exaggerating, to gain sympathy. He does want me dead, you know."

Thor frowned at him, worriedly. "Loki."

"Your face will freeze in that expression," Loki warned. "You will look all wrinkled and old, and Jane Foster will want nothing to do with you."

But Thor was not so easily diverted by mentions of Jane this time. "No. Talk to me."

Loki waved the bottle and didn't look at him. "What is there to say? I wanted Earth to be mine. A place I would exist not on the sufferance of others. And I was tricked because it was never for me. No more than Asgard is."

Thor shook his head in protest. "Asgard is your home, Loki."

"Is it?" Loki gulped down some more of the gin. It tasted better the more of it he drank. "I am grateful, brother, truly. You care in spite of the truth, but you know that is not so with everyone. Take Sif, for example, would she not despise me more if she knew? Or the common people, they would never accept a prince not Aesir. Especially after I ruined it attacking the All-father that way." He might have found a place in exile on Midgard, but he had spoiled that as well with his disastrous attack and now this second round of death and destruction. "I ruin all of it. I should live in a cave where I can do magic, where I see none and none see me, alone," he muttered.

That made Thor smile and squeeze Loki's shoulder. "You are a maudlin drunkard, brother. It is not so impossible as all that. People are more forgiving than you believe. You are wrong about Sif, for one - she already knows."

"I am not a drunkard," Loki protested, and then blinked, as the rest of the words passed his understanding. "She knows what?"

"She guarded Mother on Jotunheim, when Mother went there to rouse them to aid you. Sif found out then and she does not despise you. I think it helped her understand you better."

"She knows?" He was going to be ill. "That is … great. Yes, perfect. So now all of Asgard knows. And Malekith. And Jotunheim. And of course all your adoring friends know." He thought of Tony Stark requesting to see the blue, and wanted to sink this boat so he never had to hear that again. Except everyone else knew, too, so what was the point? "We should dig some demons out of Niflheim and tell them, since they are the last to know." His laugh was like a blade, but dark and cutting. "Strange how the secret keeps for a thousand years, and yet, so soon after I find out, the entire fucking Nine Realms knows!"

His hand tightened on the bottle, wanting to feel it shatter, but he slammed a boot into the railing instead, since the bottle wasn't empty and that would be a waste. He tipped it back to dump it down his throat, wishing it would wash away everything. Free him from the humiliation of knowing that everyone knew; they knew he was a fake. He was one of _them_ , one of the monsters, a freak.

He hurled the empty bottle against the bent railing, intending to see it shatter, but it sailed over the rail to the sea. The miss took him by surprise, cutting through the loathing. He didn't _miss_. Not like that.

Then he grabbed the bottle out of Thor's hand, relieved to find Thor had barely started drinking it and there was plenty left. This whiskey seemed much improved this time.

Thor's voice roused him, as he rallied now that Loki had settled again, "Loki. You misunderstood the import of my words: Sif knows and she does not think less of you."

Loki had to laugh at the ignorance of that statement. "Of course not," he agreed. "She thought I murdered the All-father to steal the throne while you were exiled. It is impossible for her to think less of me than she did." He hesitated to drink and admitted, more softly, not sure why he was telling Thor this but it seemed like something he should know, "I thought I might love her, once, but she ever had eyes for you. I had only her scorn. Well, at least she knows now she picked the right prince."

His eyes burned, bitter resignation filling his heart. Because hard as it had been to imagine someone picking him over Thor, it was now impossible to imagine anyone who knew the truth would pick him at all. There were probably a few who were, right now, sicking up at the realization of what they'd taken to their bed.

"Loki--" Thor protested, sounding unusually helpless, drawing Loki's attention.

"It is not your fault," Loki told him, making sure he spoke clearly. "I know that. I am not blaming you. I did before, but I understand now it was always me. My blood, my heart, my spirit - all of it stunted. Ill-formed and detective- decteftive -" the word kept tripping on his lips, "-- _wrong_. The Littlest Frost Midget."

He had to chuckle. Malekith was a terrible person, but he did come up with amusing epithets. True ones. The chuckle made the chair wobble. Or maybe the wobble was in his head. He frowned and he glanced up at Thor in surprise. "I think -- I am drunk. A little."

Thor was frowning at him, deeply concerned. "You are very drunk and speaking false, dark thoughts. You need to stop."

Thor bent to try to take the remaining whisky from him, but Loki held it away to his opposite side. "Mine. Get your own."

"If you swoon of excess drink, I will carry you a-bed," Thor warned.

"You will not! I will stab you."

Thor seemed unworried by that threat, and retorted, "With what?"

Loki reached for his dagger and found nothing. He hadn't had one since Malekith had taken all his weapons, and no strength to pull one to him. "With - with - something," Loki muttered, and Thor didn't even bother to respond to that one. Thor could carry him, and had done in the past, and it was horrifically humiliating. But, after consideration, he decided the lure of dreamless sleep outweighed the threat. And the whiskey was decent enough, if not his favorite. He tipped it up to his lips again.

Thor moved closer to lean against the rail, not far from Loki's legs, and looked into his face with concern. "Brother, tell me true. I know you are exhausted, but how do you fare otherwise?"

"Pleasantly light-headed. I now understand why others like this." Loki raised the bottle to the starlight, disquieted when the writing on the outside flickered between Asgardian and the actual Midgardian language it was written in, which meant even his spell of tongues was weakening. It was oddly fascinating to watch it turn into an incomprehensible gibberish version of both, until Thor prompted him.

"Loki. Tell me."

Ordinarily Thor ordering him around was something that made him resist, but it was too wearying to evade the question again. "I feel… I… Oh! I have a gardening metaphor! Mother will be pleased." That made Thor smile, but the smile faded as Loki continued, "I feel as though all of the living things within me burnt in a fire, and there is only bare scorched sand left. All empty." He rested his free hand on his chest. "It'll grow again, I know. 's not as bad as that time, you know, that was worse, but is …." He trailed off, wondering how to describe how it felt, especially to Thor who had never in his life felt this.

"Painful?" Thor suggested, frowning deeply.

"Not nice." Loki grimaced. "Drink helps." Not reaching for power would help more, of course, but that was difficult when he was not safe. He frowned. "I need a weapon. Spear maybe."

"Not now." Thor folded his arms and seemed to be planning to sit on Loki if he rose from the chair.

Not that Loki had any intention of standing up any time soon. "I know. I know this is the ocean. Can't make spears from water. I'm not stupid." That observation seemed to amuse Thor, though Loki saw nothing funny about it. He glared at Thor, and held out a hand trying to wish a dagger into it. But he couldn't focus even if he'd had the power, and it was nothing but wishing for a blade. "Mortals lack good weapons. Pity. Do they not understand how bad they are? You should've told them what I could- the little projectile things--" Because it was easy to make gunpowder explode, even inside the projectile things. He hadn't needed to do it when he'd had the scepter, but he could have. Twist seidr, make a spark, and explosion. not that he couldn't do that with energy weapons, too, but they were usually shielded. He wanted to explain all that to Thor, but the words seemed to tangle back on themselves. "- what Thanos - we should warn them…"

"We will and we will find something for you," Thor promised. "Spears seem rare, but I have seen swords in their entertainment, so those exist. You once were a fair hand with a sword, though I cannot recall the last time you wielded one."

He scoffed. "Swords." He could wield one, but he'd never liked being one of the herd in Asgard that used swords. "I want my daggers. Hard to throw swords."

He gestured a throw and noticed the bottle was shaking. Curious. No, it was his hands. At first he watched them, trembling without his will, as if his hands were strange separate creatures, and he looked up, intending to point out this odd, amusing behavior to Thor. But lifting his head made his vision darken at the edges and he felt as if he were floating. He was about to pass out. Fascinating, he hadn't thought it was possible. "Thor?"

Thor's eyes flared in alarm, noticing the trembling, too. "Loki?"

He meant it as a jest, but the words came out soft, "Don't let them kill me whilst I sleep."

He didn't intend to close his eyes, but he must have, since he didn't see Thor move to take the bottle from him. Loki wanted to protest, because he hadn't finished it yet, but his voice was suddenly too difficult to deal with and all that came out was a pathetic whine of protest. 

Thor's hand closed on his shoulder with gentle strength, fingers rubbing his neck. "Rest, Brother. I will not let harm come to you, Loki, this I swear."

The promise permitted him to relax enough to finally let go.

* * *

 

Thor looked down at Loki's face, relieved that Loki had finally succumbed to his exhaustion. His hair was limp and mussed against the head rest, and his lips were parted for slow breaths, eyelashes stark black against the pallor of his skin.

But his physical exhaustion worried Thor less than his mind. He had seen Loki collapse from overextending his abilities before, and while it was always worrisome -- what sort of power was it that used up so much of oneself?-- Loki had recovered. But in all their lives, not even that terrible moment before he'd fallen to his intended death, Thor had never seen Loki look as shattered as he had before the memorial. There were shadows of dread that Loki wasn't talking about but hovered over him, memories of the cruelty of Malekith and Thanos seeking to break an already damaged spirit to their will.

This was also the first time he had seen Loki drink himself to oblivion. He usually disdained such excess, scornful of drunken feasts. But on this night he'd had drink enough to loosen his tongue to speak such hateful words about himself that Thor had been horrified. He wished his parents had called Loki home, not left him here to prepare for another attack.

He glanced at the sky, frowning deeply. _Must he continue on without respite, when his spirit is torn and ragged, to battle Thanos? Father, what is it you intend? He cannot endure much more, and I will not lose him because he forces himself to do what you could not, to prove himself to you._

How would Loki react when they had to face Thanos again? Would fear prevail and make him falter? Or would he let vengeance and fury take over? Loki was at his most dangerous when he was in a cold rage, but in his present mood, he might hold his own life as worthless and spend it for some small gain.

He finished off Loki's remaining drink and stood guard. He thought none of the Avengers would betray him in such a way as attack Loki, especially when Barton had gone away, but Thor had promised.

The sound of something fast in the air approaching made him look up and nearly call Mjolnir, concerned that SHIELD had found them and was coming. If they thought they were going to bring Loki into captivity again.... But soon the sound was obviously Iron Man returning. Stark hovered over the boat for a moment, and then landed on the main deck. He was carrying a large handled paper bag, taped closed, which he set on the deck.

Thor jumped down to meet him. "You return."

Stark deactivated the suit, standing still as it folded away. "Here. I got some stuff. All totally vegan. Some of it even looks edible."

"When he wakes, he will be most appreciative. As am I."

"Wait, you mean I went all that way to get him food, and he fell asleep?"

"Unmaking that winter spell was a feat unseen in your Realm for a thousand years," Thor informed him. He knew Stark was jesting, but it still held an edge of offense to it, mocking Loki's effort. And Thor was not going to let that pass any longer.

Stark opened his mouth to retort something and then reconsidered, glancing up to the control deck where Loki slept. "Yeah. I still can't believe we didn't explode, but he made it work. Is he gonna sleep a long time?"

Thor gave a bit of a shrug. "Probably. He stayed awake far longer than he should have."

"Huh, well, feel free to move him to the master cabin if you want to put him to bed."

"That is yours, is it not?"

"Well, yeah, it has the biggest bed but also the biggest windows. And I don't think he should wake up without a view of the sky. Just trust me on that."

Thor was puzzled why a view should matter. Yet Stark seemed concerned, not making another of his incomprehensible jokes. Then understanding hit, and Thor glanced in Loki's direction. No doubt kept from the light in Svartalfheim in Malekith's underground palace, of course he would not wish to wake in darkness.

He said, "I do, friend Stark. I thank you for your understanding."

Stark shrugged. "Been there, done that. Well… Not _there_ , but, y'know, if you've seen one evil villain lair you've kind of seen them all. I saw how he was in the city. And I have a bad feeling we're gonna need him later."

"Yes," Thor agreed. He didn't want to believe that; he wished he could send Loki home. But it did seem likely that they would need a sorcerer to counter Thanos' abilities. "I will fetch him and take your offer of restful accommodation."

On the upper deck he scooped Loki up in both arms. Loki was taller now, but seemed no heavier than the last time he had done this. It reminded him uncomfortably of seeing his brother cradled in just this way in Odin's arms, when Thor had thought him dead in days not long past. But this time he was alive, not dying, and he stirred to move his head more comfortably against Thor's shoulder. Thor looked down into his face, recalling a pale, dark-haired youth whose eyes had flashed with innocent joy, but now rarely shone with anything brighter than rage. His flesh had healed, but those cuts were graven into him, memory upon memory, shadow upon shadow, into scars that lingered.

Thor's grip tightened and he bent his head to kiss Loki's forehead. _I will see you safe, brother, this I swear to you_.

He jumped down to the main deck, where Stark was waiting. He flinched at the solid landing, glancing at the deck, where Thor looked at the newly cracked planking beneath his feet. "My apologies."

Tony made a face. "First my tower, now my boat? You guys this hard on your own property?" But he didn't seem to need an answer, grabbing the food bag in one hand. "This way."

Inside the sleeping cabin - the ceiling of which was barely high enough for Thor to stand beneath - he laid Loki on the bed, atop the patterned silk cover. He pulled off Loki's boots, while Stark opened the window blinds with a small electronic device, raising them out of the way, to allow a view of the sea and sky beyond.

Thor brushed Loki's hair from his forehead.

"He's lucky to have you," Stark murmured.

Thor shook his head, knowing that hadn't always been true. "I was a poor brother. If I had been less blind to what was before me, none of this might have happened." He'd believed all was well, never seeing when it was not, especially when it had mattered most. He couldn't stop smoothing Loki's hair, hoping Loki could feel it and was comforted.

Stark said, "You're talking about him being a secret Smurf?" Thor frowned up at him, not understanding. Stark amended. "Blue."

Thor shut his eyes, pained. "Do not taunt him with that. He has not yet reconciled this truth." He remembered Loki's drunken confession. "Born wrong and tainted-- these are words he used. He remains uncertain of his place in our family, in Asgard, in his own flesh, I think, after discovering such a thing."

"Wait, you mean he didn't _know_?" Tony asked incredulous. "How is that possible?"

"He never shifted form until it happened by accident. We both were told and believed the same; that we were the sons of Odin, princes of Asgard. Then he discovered it was not true and... in some way that led to everything that occurred here on Midgard. Not everything," he corrected himself, with a sigh. "But much of it, for certain."

"So he found out he was adopted and freaked out? Y'know, humans find out they're adopted all the time and don't go out and make alliances with killer aliens."

Thor had to acknowledge that was true, but he thought Stark lacked understanding of the scope of the revelation and how deeply it had cut. How often had they played "Aesir victorious over the giants"? How often had Loki heard warriors declare vicious things about 'the beasts of Jotunheim'? Thor shook his head. "But rarely are they adopted by those who think their race is an abomination. So yes, he hates that it was a lie, but he hates what he is far more."

Tony said nothing, mulling the story, and he rubbed at his small trimmed beard before saying, "Let me get this straight. Your parents fully knew he was an alien shape-shifted to look like you when they adopted him? And they raised him up in a place where people would say things like his kind were _abominations_? That is fucked up, man."

Thor felt a heaviness in his heart of shame. "They thought to be kind."

"Jesus," Stark blew out a breath. "And I thought I had issues." He looked at Loki's unconscious form in silence, and Thor could not guess his thoughts. "But as long as you make sure he doesn't flip out and stays on course against Thanos, it'll be fine." He inhaled and nodded. "I'm putting his food in the galley; he can get it whenever he wants."

"I appreciate what you've done for us," Thor said, somberly.

"They say there's a fine line between brilliance and madness. I guess we'll see where this ends up."

Thor didn't watch him go, relieved when the door clicked shut behind him. He stayed, sitting on the floor at Loki's side.

* * *

... tbc...


	16. Protection

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ETA: I forgot to mention earlier, but there's now a fake "deleted scene" from this part of Comes the Hurricane, [Tales of the Storm: He's a what?](http://archiveofourown.org/works/5708506/comments/49622704), in which the Avengers find out that Loki's not quite an adult on Asgard, if you're in the mood for something lighter...

* * *

With the brothers in the master cabin, Tony decided to keep himself busy being a good host. There were two other cabins, and he'd offered one to Romanoff and Sif to share, but Sif had shrugged and said she was not tired. Rogers wasn't either and started to teach her bridge to pass the time at the dining table. But Romanoff took it, bringing Barton with her. Tony was _not_ speculating about that. Okay, maybe a little.

"One left for me and you, if you promise not to turn into a raging green rage monster," he told Banner.

Banner looks dubious. "I should sleep on the deck…"

"Nonsense," Tony said and grabbed his elbow to head for the stairs to go below decks. "It'll be fine." They bid Rogers and Sif good night.

Banner fell asleep on the bed like a child, tucked up under the blankets. Tony lay awake in the dark, and he grabbed his phone twice to call Pepper before remembering he couldn't. None of them could use their phones or have them on while they were harboring Loki. It wasn't even 'them' - it was just him. It was his boat, and his tech keeping them off the satellites.

_protecting the guy who leveled half of Midtown. I'm as crazy as he is._

At least he'd spoken to Pepper in the city when he got the food, hoping that SHIELD would think the yacht was still near New York. So she knew he was okay and the strange winter was fixed, even if the tower had been destroyed. He hadn't mentioned Thanos, or Loki being back, but offered vague info that he had to clean up a few things.

"Tony," Bruce's voice came out of the dark, wide awake, and Tony realized the soft snores had stopped awhile ago. "Can't sleep?"

"I don't sleep much."

Bruce didn't buy that. "The guy upstairs making you nervous, or me?"

"Him. Not you. But not because I think he's gonna turn on us." In the dark, not looking at Bruce or anyone, he could say the words aloud, "He threw me off the goddamn tower, managed to get me nearly killed again with that bomb and all, made it hard to deal for weeks. Yet, he's so … I can't hate him." He added more softly, "I know what it's like, y'know. I get the desire to drink yourself into a coma and make it stop. You saw it, he's holding himself together with string and chewing gum. But was he punished enough, or is there never enough? If he saves us from Thanos, does he get a pass for what happened before? And how much do we blame him for something he did when a bigger supervillain was calling the shots anyway?"

Bruce took a moment to answer. "I think my answer, and your answer, are going to be different from how that little boy at the shrine would answer. But if you're asking me what I think--"

"Well, duh, that's why they were questions."

Bruce kicked his foot. "--I think we'd all be in pretty bad straits if we hadn't had other people willing to forgive _us_."

Tony thought of Pepper, who'd stuck by him even when he hadn't deserved her at all. "Yeah. Point."

"And a rage monster, a narcissistic warmonger, and two assassins shouldn't be throwing a lot of stones, right?"

Tony made a face at him and retorted, "Are you calling Rogers a narcissistic warmonger? Harsh."

Banner chuckled. "Well, he does have his face on more things than you do." He yawned. "Get some sleep, Tony. We'll get bad guys to fight soon enough."

It took a little while but Tony did eventually sleep. When he woke up, it was to the sound of a distant bass thumping, like someone had the stereo on upstairs. The room was empty and after a quick shower to stir his brain, relieved he had a change of clothes on board, even if nobody else did. He made his way upstairs hoping someone had made coffee.

He didn't expect to find Sif and Banner playing "Dance Party" on the Starxbox while the others' watched, although they all turned to look at him as soon as they realized he was there. "It's Pepper's, not mine," he disclaimed, both hands up.

"So why does "Tony Stark" hold the high score?" Rogers asked.

He affected wide-eyed innocence. "What? That's just Pepper's idea of a sad joke. I play Zombie Hunter." Nobody believed him, but they laughed, so that was fine.

Thor was at the dining table drinking coffee and eating a loaf of bread, but when Tony glanced around, Loki was nowhere in sight. "Loki up yet?"

Thor shook his head. "He sleeps still."

"Even with the dance off in here?" Tony asked in disbelief. Because they hadn't lowered the volume very much, and Sif was not exactly a quiet person as she cursed at the machine.

Thor smiled. "Even so."

"Lucky him," Tony muttered, and went to get coffee from the sideboard. "So, what's the news, JARVIS?" he asked the air, turning to watch his guests and drink his first cup.

The JARVIS receiver in his ear answered, " _SHIELD is searching for the yacht. The satellite misdirect has not been discovered. I calculate low probability of that enduring beyond two more days_."

Tony had to agree with that. SHIELD wasn't going to be fooled forever. But every little bit would help. "Keep it going as long as you can. We'll keep heading east - open ocean will help hide us also."

" _Understood, sir_."

Maybe they could put in at the Azores and drop Loki in some safe house until Thanos made his move. He could chill and Tony wouldn't have to worry about the others talking to SHIELD.

SHIELD. He shook his head. Individually, Coulson and Hill and Fury seemed to mean well, but collectively? There was something ominously  _dark_ about the whole organization, and Tony didn't trust them to do the right thing. Tony had started to look into the info dump he'd taken off the Helicarrier, and it was overwhelming how many secrets were buried in there. Too many hidey-holes and dark projects. Too many ways to make Loki disappear if they got their hands on him.

Which was funny since just a month ago Tony would probably not have thought twice about it. But the thought turned his stomach now.

JARVIS murmured, " _Incoming communication from the Triskelion_."

That probably meant Nick. Tony heaved a sigh. "Right on time. Control room. But put some fake background behind me, like a picture of Hong Kong, just to screw with him."

He was right; Nick Fury's baleful visage stared out from the laptop monitor. Tony greeted him with perverse cheer. "Morning, Nick. You had second thoughts about yesterday?"

Nick looked as if he hadn't had enough coffee yet, and was less amused than usual. "Do you know how many died in that attack on New York yesterday?"

"Do you know who was responsible for it?" Tony countered. "Because I do. Alien immortal, name of Thanos. He worships _death_ , by the way. Which makes world conquest with bug people and flying whales seem kind of fluffy by comparison."

Nick listened to this. "Let me guess, Loki told you all this. He's on your yacht."

 _Damn it._ Tony gave a shrug. "It was Thor who told us this first. Remember? He told you, same as he told me, about Thanos the Mad Titan. Great moniker, bad history." He thought of how Loki had some kind of panic attack at the tower, thinking Thanos was in his brain. "Oh, and by the way, the mind-control glowstick? Belonged to Thanos."

Fury didn't buy it. "So let me talk to Loki, find out about this supposed threat."

"He's not here," Tony lied and twirled a hand upward. "He went poof."

Fury said with dry sarcasm, "He's not there. That's why you're hiding the yacht."

"I always do. I don't like being spied on."

"Then you shouldn't be harboring a war criminal."

"Says the organization that harbored Armin Zola for _twenty years,_ " Tony shot back. "Yeah, I know about that. So get off that high horse and stop being such a blind dick." Then, in case Fury thought it was accidental, Tony added, "Sorry, half-blind."

"That was not on my watch." Fury glowered at him and added with precise threat, "We will take Loki into custody. He will come to account."

"Well, make sure you write down _saved the planet_ on that account of yours. Because you and I wouldn't be having this conversation if he didn't stop winter from coming, yesterday."

"Bring him in," Fury ordered. "Or I'm coming to get him."

"Try it." Tony slammed the button to close the communication and let out a gusty breath. "This is getting more fun every day."

He went back to the main lounge, where Rogers looked up at him. "Problem?"

"Oh, same old, same old. Fury knows I know where he is, and won't stay held off for long."

"Well, the justice system--" Rogers started.

But Tony snorted. "C'mon, let's not fool ourselves there'll be a trial. Whatever Nick says, what they really want is to experiment on him, and find the secret of immortality. He's the perfect guinea pig to disappear into some lab, because the Geneva convention sure as hell doesn't apply to alien villains, does it?"

"They shall not have him," Thor declared in the most absolute tone of intent Tony had ever heard.

Sif moved to stand before the hatch toward the cabins in a single fluid motion, her sword drawn and ready before her. "Asgard shall go to war with Midgard if that happens," she warned darkly.

Tony raised both hands. "SHIELD and even creepier secret organizations, not _me_! I have JARVIS scrambling everything that might locate us, okay? We're safe. We have a few days."

"Sif." Thor gestured for her to put her sword away. "We shall defend him. But not here, not from our friends."

She slid the sword back in the sheath and returned to the table, watching the others. "As long as they understand."

"Look, I'm not saying we should turn him over to experimentation, that's wrong," Steve said, "but it's not right that he gets away with everything he did either. There's no justice, no punishment."

Sif cocked her head at him, eyes flinty, and her hand curled again around the hilt of her sword. "So it is not punishment to be strung up by your wrists, poisoned, flayed, and bled enough to fill a cookpot? That was _one day_ of his captivity in Svartalfheim. Then he healed and they could inflict the same again the next day. Thanos shattered his legs at the knees, chained him upon a stone, and planted nightmares in his mind." Thor looked surprised and stricken to hear her words, as if he hadn't known the full story. Tony felt a little sick himself - it was one thing to know about vague "torture" but the specifics were something else. Maybe being quick healing and immortal weren't quite the blessings Tony had thought.

She continued, "He was hurt so cruelly that Malekith's own sister could not withstand it and betrayed her brother to help Loki. What more punishment do you wish him to suffer, Captain Rogers? What vengeance will suffice?"

"I didn't mean– I don't want vengeance," he said. "It just seems so easy after all he did."

She lifted a brow. "Easy? He did not emerge unscathed. Last night was the first I have _ever_ seen him imbibe to unconsciousness. Would you rather he bide his time in a cell, or defend this world from the greater harm that approaches it?"

"I know, and I'm glad he saved the city from the Casket. It's just... never mind." He trailed off, and sat back in his chair, troubled but resigned to the inevitable.

"You said we had a few days," Bruce noted, turning back toward Tony, and thankfully changing the subject back to something useful. "Then what?"

"Then? I presume a fleet of quinjets descends on angel wings, and we all make harder choices," Tony answered. That was not going to be a fun moment, when he'd have to decide whether his defense of Loki would have to turn active, not just passively keeping him out of the way.

"That will not be necessary," Thor reassured him. "As soon as Loki regains his strength, he will be able to depart. Or I can take him away."

Tony waited, expecting someone request Thor do that now, but no one spoke. Maybe they were scared of Sif's sword. "Well, let's see how this plays out," Tony said. "If Thanos attacks first, it's not gonna matter. So, everybody chill while we wait. 'Mi casa es su casa', all that. If you want to leave, quinjet's still there."

Natasha and Clint exchanged a glance at the offer, but she shook her head that they should stay put. Tony hoped it wasn't to try to assassinate the comatose godling in the master suite, but Sif and Thor were hopefully enough deterrent. Bruce was fine with it, entertaining himself on the laptop in the corner. While Steve... Tony suspected he was going to get antsy, but at least for now, he was over his moral quandary spasm and was eyeing the Starxbox again.

It was only a little while later that JARVIS interrupted, " _Sir. A signal from the Helicarrier_."

He rolled his eyes at their obvious ploy. "They just want to triangulate our position. Hell no. We send them nothing."

" _I can mask our transmission origination_ ," JARVIS offered.

Tony thought about it, then agreed. "Fine. Control room." He stood in the same place, told JARVIS to go ahead, and fixed his biggest, fakest grin on his face. "Good morning!"

The familiar face of Agent Hill appeared. She looked very stone-faced, unsmiling. "Stark."

"Well, this is a happy surprise," he said, voice dripping with as much insincerity he could pour over it. "I already talked to Nick this morning, so that must mean this isn't business. So, of course, Pepper and I totally want to do lunch with you when we're all back in town."

She ignored his levity. "Where is he?"

The blunt question was so abrupt he genuinely had no idea who she was asking about. "Who?"

"The traitor. The criminal. Loki."

Tony pointed at her. "Hey, 'criminal' I'll give you, but traitor? He's not from Earth, so I don't see how he can be a traitor to anything."

She ignored everything he said with a very single-minded focus. "Is he on your boat?"

"You and Nick should talk. I already told him Loki teleported away. Apparently he's not too keen on being back in SHIELD custody. Imagine that. So, sorry, you missed him. I'd tell you to leave a message, but I don't know if he's coming back."

He couldn't tell if she was believing him or was hiding her disbelief to lull him into complacency. "Where did he go?" she asked, as if she might actually believe him.

Tony shrugged. "Don't know. Don't care. He saved the planet and left."

Her eyes looked very blue this morning, as they narrowed at him in suspicion. "And the Aesir? Odinson and the other? Where are they?"

"Gone, too. Sorry. No, not really." Tony waited for Maria to demand to talk to her own agents, which Tony was going to have to deny because of course they'd try to give her some kind of signal that Loki was actually here.

"We will find him, Stark," she promised and cut the connection.

He blew out a breath. "Well, _someone_ needs more coffee this morning. JARVIS, did you get any location from her transmission? I'd like to know how close the Helicarrier is to us."

" _I do not have an exact fix, but it is is approximately two hundred-fifty kilometers, northeast_ ," JARVIS responded.

"Damn, that's too close. They'll be right on top of us before we know it. Change heading, southeast, best speed. We need some more distance. And keep track of them, best you can."

Tony went below to the operations room, to check on the boat itself and JARVIS' control of it, before trying to improve their ability to hide from SHIELD a little longer. After lunch, he opened the door to the master cabin to see if his other passenger was awake yet.

Still asleep, Loki had curled up on his side, his lanky frame folded into a loose ball despite the armor pieces, and someone had spread his cape over his lower body like a blanket. Munin had gotten inside somehow and roosted against his chest. Munin was awake, as a beady yellow eye watched Tony closely. Loki's hand rested on the large raven's body, and Tony smiled at the cute picture they made, the wannabe badass supervillain clutching his raven buddy like a teddy bear.

But Loki stirred, disturbed by the sound of Tony opening the door or the new presence. His head moved on the pillow restlessly, before he stretched out his long legs and flopped onto his back. His face looked thinner than Tony remembered from the night before, or maybe the angle of the sunlight was making him look especially gaunt, but his cheeks and eyes were hollow, as if the sleep hadn't helped much. His eyes opened about halfway, a pained frown appearing between his brows, and he threw an arm over his face against the sunlight with a groan.

"Good afternoon, sunshine," Tony greeted cheerfully. Loki pulled down the arm to squint at him.

"Stark? What are you--" He stopped, gaze traveling the room, and shut his eyes again. "He carried me."

Tony grinned at the disgust in Loki's tone. "It was adorable." Loki's baleful glare would probably melt steel, but made Tony laugh. "You passed out. And now you're hungover."

"From magic, not drink." Loki pushed himself upright, ran both hands through his hair, and inhaled a deep breath. When he looked up, he seemed fine, all trace of tiredness and distress wiped from his face.

"You drank up my liquor cabinet and you're not even hungover? That's so unfair." That made Loki chuckle smugly, and Tony knew he was thinking something about gods and mortals, but he managed not to say it aloud. "I brought back food last night; it's in the fridge in the galley." At Loki's frown of incomprehension, Tony added, "The room where you smashed my china yesterday."

"Yes, food," Munin insisted, hopping from the bed to Loki's leg to look up into his face. "You need food."

Tony rolled his eyes at the raven talking, and told himself it was a clever parrot imitating people.

"Don't be a bother, pigeon. It's unseemly," Loki chided, but stroked the raven's sleek feathers with two fingers. Munin twisted his head to rub his beak on those fingers.

Tony shook his head - Loki chided the bird for unseemliness but neither thanked Tony for the food, nor apologized for the china smashing.

After Loki put on his boots, which was a more complicated process than Tony thought necessary, involving buckles to attach them to his trousers, Loki rose to his feet. As Tony watched, Loki's clothes all wavered - blurring as if hidden in some sort of mirage - and the outer layer with its fancy armor bits vanished, leaving the less armored version of the black-and-green leather outfit, with the shorter coat instead of the big emerald cape. It was all clean and shiny, as if brand new.

It was also impressive, especially as the huge raven perched on his padded shoulder. Not that Tony was going to say that. "You only have one set of clothes? I saw this outfit in New York."

Loki's eyes flicked to him, recognizing the backhanded insult, but he answered calmly, "I have only one I fight in."

"So this is, like, your battle uniform? The version _without_ the armor."

Loki smirked a little. "It is enough for me."

Tony caught the imbedded sting and nodded, admiring. "Nice. Sounds modest except you're slamming my armor, too. I bet half the time people you mock don't even catch it. You were the smartest kid in your class in Asgard, weren't you?"

Dryly Loki said, "My class consisted of Thor and myself. 'Smartest' was not a difficult achievement."

Munin nudged his head into Loki's, and at first Tony thought the bird was reproving him, but then heard the raven chuckle. Munin poked at his cheek and complained, "Hungry. Where's food? Nut?" And he took Loki's earlobe in his beak as if to nibble on it.

Loki turned his head. "I know what you're doing. Stop it. I'll eat when I choose." He sighed. "Apparently I am to get no reprieve from the talking bird unless I have food."

"Okay, but first, how the hell did you change your clothes?" Tony demanded. "Is it illusion? Are you actually still wearing the cape and I can't see it? Or did you somehow change it for real?"

Loki just smirked and headed for the door.

Tony nearly stomped his foot with irritation. "Oh, come on! I flew all the way to New York to get you food! You're on my boat, and I'm saving your ass from SHIELD. You _owe_ me. Spill."

Loki let out a brief sigh and turned. "Fine. Sometimes it is illusion - if I am in a hostile place, I often wear this and disguise it as something else - but I can put things into the aether and then take them out again when I wish. The aether is…" he halted, frowning, "I spoke of it to Selvig once, but we came to no agreement about what your science terms it. A subordinate universe, or dimensional pocket. The space inside space. Does that answer your question?" he asked, mocking enough that Tony wanted to smack him. Because of course it didn't - because the real question was how, not what, and how was what Loki seemed determined not to reveal.

"I could learn it, you know," Tony said.

"You could," Loki agreed to Tony's surprise. "I do think you could, Stark. But I have no time or patience to teach you."

Munin poked at Loki's cheek again. "The queen bids you eat."

"You're just lucky I can't eat you," Loki retorted and heaved a put-upon sigh. "Fine. She will send increasingly irate messages until I eat something, so let us go find what you brought."

Somehow even in his coat, he managed to swirl a phantom cape as he headed up the short flight of narrow steps, through the hatch, and into the main cabin.

Tony followed, amused by the thought of a supervillain worrying about his mother nagging him to eat.

* * *

... tbc... 

 

 


	17. Rising

* * *

When the door opened and Loki came through it, Thor grinned to see that he was awake. Not only did he look less fragile and pale than he had last night, but he also had changed to combat leathers at last. Thor rose and grabbed Loki into a hug, Munin fluttering away with an indignant squawk. Loki withstood the tight embrace with a reluctant stiffness Thor utterly ignored. Because Thor remembered yesterday's revelatory words, both from Loki himself and from Sif about what Malekth and Thanos had done to him, and Thor couldn't bear the thought that Loki still believed he was not wanted or needed. So he would show Loki that his belief was false.

"Loki, you awaken! You look better. Are you well?" Hand on Loki's shoulder, Thor stared into his eyes, looking for a sign of illusion or misdirect in the answer, as Loki smiled.

"Yes. I'm recovered." Loki detached himself as soon as he could, and glanced around at the others looking at him - Steve and Sif had paused the revenant-killing game Zombie Hunter in midst of play, Natasha was cleaning a weapon at the bar, while Clint was examining one of his arrows with the remnants of lunch at his elbow. The only one who greeted him was Bruce at Tony's computer station in the corner and raised a hand in a wave. Loki lifted his brows and said drily, "I see you are all … busy." 

He headed to the galley, Thor and Tony both at his heels, to help him find the right containers. Tony explained, "Quinoa salad, the lentil dish Pepper adores, and this tofu thing. I know it looks terrible, but the counter person swore to me it was delicious. So if it's awful, it's not my fault."

Loki put a nearly microscopic bit of the salad on a spoon.

"They promised it was completely vegan," Tony reassured him. "No animals even looked at it funny."

"Forgive me for doubting you, but I've had quite enough of being poisoned lately." He sniffed at it before cautiously putting a bit on his tongue. Then with an expression of being pleasantly surprised, he tried a bigger taste. "I shall have to steal the recipe for Hilde in Asgard."

He tested the other two dishes as well, and then served himself small portions of all three. 

"It's all yours," Tony told him. "I can always get more." 

"This is fine, thank you." He said it politely, but without explanation. Thor frowned, unsure if there was something wrong with the food or with Loki, but suspected the latter, if he was not feeling hunger.

Loki set his plate on the dining table with a flourish. "Sif, Midgard produces edible food after all. You should try some." 

"Busy," Sif returned, without looking at him, as she watched the screen with a fierce combative gleam in her eyes as she used a sword to cut through the zombie wave. She wanted to use her whole body as if her real sword was in her hand, instead of only the controller, but Thor enjoyed watching her fight this battle, pretend though it was.

Barton glanced at Loki's plate. "So, I have a question. Did you really intend to conquer Earth when you can't eat most of our food?"

Loki shrugged. "It was not a concern."

"You should have said something," Natasha remarked. "Vegetarian Earth is a cause I would have joined." Loki's narrowed glance suggested he knew she was mocking him, but her expression didn't change as she rubbed a cotton swab on the disassembled firearm. That reminded Thor that he and Loki should mention to them that projectile weapons were unsafe against magic-users. She added coolly, "When this is over, let's knock over some small island and make it a meatless paradise."

"Only if it is a tropical place where the ice comes only in drink and I can be its king," Loki said in the same tone and yet his eyes were amused. "I still think this Realm needs a king, but I suppose I should start with something small and conquer my way up." 

He said it with such relish it was obviously bait, but Thor exclaimed, "Loki!" He wished Loki wouldn't jest about that, when half of the team remained uncertain about his intentions.

But Bruce interrupted, not outraged at all, as he turned in his computer chair. "Genosha. You can't make that place worse. And maybe you could do some good."

Tony waved at him, especially when Loki sat up and gave Bruce a curious look. "Sure, give the supervillain ideas! What's wrong with you?" 

Loki asked, "Genosha? What is that?" 

"It's a tropical island," Banner answered. "And a hellhole. Known for its drug production, and run by criminal gangs, terror squads, child prostitution -- if there's a place on Earth that could use a conqueror, it's that one." 

Loki looked intrigued, but Thor told him, "When Thanos is finished, we will have Svartalfheim to deal with."

The reminder washed the amusement and curiosity out of Loki's face, and his smirk was forced as he answered with an obvious false lightness, "Yes, Thor is right. I have an appointment with the king of Svartalfheim. So ruling this mortal realm will have to wait." He went back to his lunch, plucking out a walnut to offer Munin, and didn't pursue the idea further. 

The fourth dining chair creaked ominously as Thor sat down, and he apologized to Tony, who waved it off. "Gonna need to put the yacht in for modifications, after all this is over. Assuming there'll be an 'after this is over.'" 

Thor chuckled. "There are no promises in battle or life, but I believe we will win. If not the first time, then the next, right, Loki?" But Loki was not listening, instead holding out another walnut for Munin. Thor frowned. Loki wasn't eating any of it. He was feeding Munin off his fingers, but he hadn't picked up a utensil since sitting at the table. Thor said, "I think Mother would not approve of how little you eat." Munin snapped his beak shut and stepped away from Loki's offered treat, managing to look highly offended as if Loki had been tricking him into eating.

"Mother would be pleased I am eating at all," Loki retorted. With a sigh, he lifted a forkful to his mouth and chewed it with all the enthusiasm of eating pebbles.

"Is it not tasty?" Thor asked in concern. "Or do you still feel ill?"

"It tastes fine." Loki changed the subject with a look toward the television and the two gamers. "Is that pretend battle? I could call you an eldritch horror if you are truly so bored, Sif."

"It's a game. You should try it." She didn't turn away from the screen, cutting two zombie heads off and attempting to vault over the next. Thor had no doubt that if she had been there in person, it would have worked, but the controls weren't good enough and the creature grabbed at her character. Steve's marine was there and blew it away with his machine gun. Both let out gusty sighs.

"Reality holds horrors enough without gaming them." Loki watched the carnage on screen and shook his head. "Especially inaccurate ones that will get you killed if you meet them in the flesh." 

"Zombies are real?" Steve asked, startled enough to turn his attention from the screen.

"Not like that," Loki waved a dismissive hand at the screen. "But yes, one can animate the dead. I saw the spells while I was searching for a method to unmake Thanos." He said it casually, as a simple piece of information. 

"Are you saying Thanos might be able to raise the dead?" Clint demanded incredulously.

"Able, yes," Loki answered. "But will not. He courts Death, and such spells offend Her dominion." 

"That seems... unnatural," Steve said. 

"And awful," Bruce added.

Loki stirred around his food. "It is not pleasant or respectful, but not unnatural. Else it could not be done. There is much out there in the universe of which you Midgardians are ignorant."

Tony opened his mouth, intending to object, but said nothing, recognizing that Loki didn't say it with a sneer, merely a statement of fact. Thor and Sif nodded agreement, because it was true, little though Midgard seemed to want to admit how little they knew.

Loki asked, changing the subject, "Aside from pretend battle with pretend revenants, what have all of you been doing while I slept?" 

"Oh, I got a couple of calls from your friends Nick Fury and Maria Hill," Tony answered with a false casual tone. "I told them you'd left, but I don't think they believed me. So they're looking for us." 

Loki put down his fork as if he'd lost whatever appetite he'd managed to find. "Soon?"

"We're in the Atlantic, and we're small. But that won't keep forever. A couple days. But we'll probably run out of food before then, so I wouldn't worry about it." Tony looked at Loki's plate and raised his eyebrows. "Well, you won't, if you keep eating like a toddler, but the rest of us will have to get supplies."

Bruce cleared his throat to get their attention and said, "In happier news, I was looking through satellite data, and I thought you might like to know that the Casket seems to have a good side-effect at the north pole. The ice cap is the largest its been up there in the summertime in fifty years and that should yield a lower annual average temperature. So congratulations, you fixed our global warming problem. At least temporarily." 

Loki listened to him and when he smiled there was nothing sarcastic in it at all. "Good to know. At least I will have one good legacy. Is there news on Thanos?" 

"Nothing," Thor answered, with a glance at Tony for confirmation. He picked up Loki's fork and offered it back to him. "You must eat, brother." 

Loki took the fork with a twist of his lips, ate two more bites, and frowned. "He will know the Casket ploy failed." 

"Kurse withdrew from Asgard," Thor told him. "If Thanos intends an attack, he has no army. He can gather no army without Malekith's aid, or without an object of power, which he relinquished." He nodded his chin at Casket, where it sat on the end of the bar, faintly glowing. Loki's troubled gaze followed his. 

"You countered his big play," Steve said, coming near, with Sif behind him and the game paused. "We're still in our castle, the drawbridge is up, and he lost his chance."

"Ah, but that is the question," Loki murmured. "Did he lose his chance? I think not. Like before, destroying Earth would have served his purpose, but not destroying it may also have served a purpose." He pushed away his barely eaten meal and stood. "I need the Casket."

"You should probably leave the weather alone for now…" Bruce suggested.

"Not for that. I need to check Jormungandr," Loki said. "The All-Father said the barrier may have been weakened by the Casket's use, and I need to check if that is so." 

"Loki, not yet," Thor objected. "You need to eat, and I cannot believe your powers are fully returned after yesterday, not so soon." 

Loki held out a hand, palm up, and a small sphere of blue fire formed there before he folded his fingers around it and smirked at Thor. "I am rested; you worry too much." 

Thor worried anyway, as Loki picked up the Casket and headed outside the hatch into the sunlight. Thor followed after him with a resigned sigh. Tony followed, and one by one, the others joined them out on the deck. 

"Are you sure this is a good idea?" Steve asked. Tony snorted, and Thor shared the sentiment. Because it was surely not a good idea, but Loki was determined, and short of Thor putting Mjolnir on him to stop him, he was going to do it.

"I left it untended too long and I need to know," Loki answered, brusquely. He carried the Casket in both hands along the side walkway. Forward of the control room was all one sun deck, encircled by a railing and furnished with lounge chairs, though the cushions were in the storage bins by the wall. "Stay back," Loki cautioned them then moved nearer the prow where he set the Casket down. He held out his hand to the Casket, extending his fingers toward it and twisting his wrist as if pulling something invisible. His expression was intent, but his gaze did not focus on the Casket itself, but something far beyond it.

At Thor's side, Tony made a soft sound of objection before silencing himself, but Thor understood. It was a difficult thing to see the Casket light up with that indigo brilliance, and threaten the fell winter again. They were close enough they'd all be swept into it with no chance of escape.

But the ice didn't come. A thin river of blue flame rose up from the Casket into Loki's palm, until he brought it up in front of him so the flames reflected in his eyes. Bringing both hands together, the energy between, his palms joined together, absorbing the energy within, as he had done with the ARC reactor. He glanced at them, and his eyes were shining with the power. 

The mortals stepped back from the strangeness, and Thor might have if it were anyone else but Loki. It was unnerving to see only a bright glow where his eyes should be. And when Loki spoke his voice was odd as well, picking up new depths to it, as he commanded, "Ward the Casket. I will return shortly." He stepped forward, the air rippled, and he was gone.

"Hey!" Clint exclaimed, and darted forward as if he wanted to catch him. "Where'd he go? What the hell was that?"

"The shadowpaths," Thor answered.

"What does that mean?" Tony asked. "Interdimensional hopping? Turning himself out of phase? Going into that "aether" he mentioned?"

"Loki discovered it himself," Thor explained. "I know little about it." 

"And that doesn't bother you?" Tony groused. "Because I find it super-annoying I don't even know _what_ he's doing." 

But Thor stopped listening to him, as it occurred to him that Loki might stumble free of them as he had before. Thor looked all around, even in the water as they passed through it, but there was nothing. 

When no one moved to take the Casket, Tony went to get it himself. It turned out to be a lot heavier than he expected, barely managing to lift it at all, and he shot a glare at Thor, lacking Loki to glare at, and shoved it at him. "Take it, Thunder Arms. And yes, Barton, he's coming back. Come on, we can wait inside. I could use a drink."

* * *

... tbc..


	18. Jormungandr

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> a bit of "Understanding the Storm" cosmology this time. I've mentioned it in bits and pieces, but here Loki lays it out, to make sure everyone's up to speed on how it all works in this 'verse.

* * *

At the bar, Tony poured himself a shot of tequila into a glass of beer, ignoring the glances from the others. If pseudo-gods could get drunk, he could certainly have a drink as a reward for putting up with all this. It wasn't early when factoring in the time change as they moved east. 

When Loki didn't return immediately, Thor sent Munin to his brother in case he couldn't find the way back, and then he went to pace on the deck and watch the sky for either to return.

Tony had only three swallows of his drink when Thor bellowed outside and moments later, Loki appeared at the open hatch. His hair was in windblown disarray and he was frowning deeply, as he ducked inside, Thor on his heels and Munin sitting on his shoulder. "We have a problem," he announced, as soon as everyone was looking at him.

"Only one?" Tony retorted.

"Only one that matters." Loki was suddenly in front of him and took the glass right out of his hand. "Thank you." And then he was across the room, all within the space of a few heartbeats, smirking at Tony's surprise. The smirk died when he sipped at the drink. "How do you drink this swill?" he demanded, lip curling in disgust. 

"There's no choice when wannabe gods drink up the good stuff," Tony shot back.

Banner sighed. "If we could get back to the problem?"

"Oh, nothing, really. The fabric of reality is damaged," Loki said with an elaborate shrug and, despite his revulsion, drank Tony's beer. 

Tony pondered going over there and insisting on having it back, but now it had weird alien cooties in it, so it was probably better to make another one. "Reality seems just fine." 

"Don't be obtuse. You will not know there is anything amiss with reality until it becomes _real_ ," Loki snapped, eyes narrowing irritably. Then he heaved a breath. "Listen closely, children." He stalked two paces forward and gestured. The lights dimmed and before everyone's eyes the glowing outline of a tree grew in the middle of the room. 

Tony squinted suspiciously at the ceiling, where he knew there were no projectors or emitters. There was nothing in the room which could be creating this hologram. "JARVIS, identify the source of the hologram in this room," he murmured. 

In his ear, JARVIS replied, " _There is no hologram in the room, sir. Not that I detect_."

Of course not, because _magic_. It was making Tony grumpy. 

Nobody else seemed impressed with it, probably because they were familiar with his holograms in the tower and thought this was an extension of them. Tony tried to figure out how Loki was doing it - hologram or was it projected into their minds? Was the light bending, was he doing something with photons, or was it merely - merely- a shared hallucination? 

Loki didn't reveal how he was doing it, but it seemed easy for him. He explained in a voice short on patience: "This is simplified, but for the sake of the mortals, this is Yggdrasil, the world tree. The Nine Realms exist within it." Nine glowing orbs formed, making up the root, trunk, and branches of the tree, as a star pattern made a constellation. "Outside lies Jormungandr, the world serpent, the barrier which protects the Nine Realms from without." 

A softly glowing, transparent sphere encircled the tree like a shimmering bubble.

"Some here on Earth say Jormungandr is my child," Loki said in a softer voice. "Which is absurd, given that Jormungandr predates me in time by uncounted years and is not a living creature. Yet there is some truth in the story, since I have always been able to sense it, to touch it in ways unknown before. When I use the shadowpaths, I walk its underbelly, beyond the lights of Yggsdrasil." He held out a hand, resting it on the surface of the softly glowing sphere of the barrier. 

"But Jormungandr is weakening." What had been a perfect sphere began to distort and stretch. Its central, equatorial region bubbled outward, distorting the sphere into a squat disk to accommodate the spreading lower branches of the tree. "The other Realms are fixed, but Midgard expands. This puts the barrier under strain. Punching a hole in it with the tesseract weakened it further. And, I have now confirmed Odin All-Father was correct that the use of the Casket here also weakened Jormungandr." The glow of the sphere dimmed and flickered. Loki stepped back and stared at the picture he'd made, unblinking. "This was, likely, the ultimate plan. And it is one for which I have no counter. In its weakened state, Thanos will need less power to touch this Realm. If he has servants here, if there are any who will fall prey to him, he will reach them and have them open the way for him." The glowing image vanished, leaving the room briefly in darkness, and Loki's voice was soft but made a chill creep down Tony's spine, "He is coming." 

Then the room lights returned and silence fell, as they each considered what he'd said. 

"Can we strengthen the barrier?" Rogers asked. 

Loki sipped at the drink, looking into the amber depths and his lips twisted into a grimace, before he admitted, "I know of no method."

"How was it made?" Banner asked. "Could it be remade?"

Loki smiled thinly. "Well, that would depend on the story. Apparently to human myths Odin stole my child and hurled him into the void. All things considered, I would rather pass on that one. But in truth, the barrier was made a very long time ago, and no one knows how. I believe the Celestials -- primordial beings of great power and knowledge -- but if they were around to ask, I would demand they take care of Thanos and eliminate the problem at the source." 

But Natasha had been reading up on her Norse gods as she said, clear eyes intent on Loki, "The world serpent devours the nine realms in Ragnarok." 

"Well, yes, the collapse of Jormungandr would be a very bad thing for the Nine Realms," Loki said. He flashed a grin, but it didn't touch his eyes. "There is, after all, a reason it exists. There are other worlds beyond, and you would not enjoy visiting any of them." He turned away adding in a profoundly sardonic tone of voice, "I know the Midgard versions of the prophecies, so you need not attempt to trick me into the admission of my plan to destroy the Nine Realms. After my forthcoming impressive career giving birth to horses and snakes and wolves, of course. And poison-" his voice faltered, eyes flickering with a sudden dark thought, though he quickly smirked and added, "So many absurd tales. Mortals are so gullible." 

"So how do we prepare?" Rogers demanded. "How do we stop it? Do you know where Thanos will come through? New York?"

But Tony shook his head. "He wouldn't be that stupid, would he? We proved we can bottle an invasion there."

Loki chuckled once humorlessly. "You think he fears that? It is a _challenge_ , not a deterrent. But he will need a portal. The barrier is weak, but still there."

"He'll need an energy source, right?" Banner said. "The tesseract's not here to open another interdimensional portal." 

"The Casket?" Tony suggested, glancing toward the master cabin door, thinking of the magic, powerful box on the other side.

"No. I am the only one who can wield it." Loki shook his head in decisive negative. "And you may all express your gratitude, because if that were not so, he would already be here."

Tony saw the moment Rogers understood, as his gaze flipped to Loki who was ignoring all of them to drink and study the painting on the wall as if it were a fascinating study of human expression, rather than the mediocre Monet landscape it actually was. It wasn't only that Loki had been a tortured prisoner of the enemy - he had resisted what they wanted of him.

Loki added, as he narrowed his eyes and frost crept up the sides of his glass, "I was likely intended to drain the Casket and myself to stop the ice. Or perhaps he thought the Allfather would send the tesseract to me. The only reason those did not happen was the ARC reactor. He could not have foreseen you would give it to me to use." 

"What if there's another artifact?" Rogers asked. "Red Skull found the tesseract, but that wasn't the only thing he was looking for. It just happened to be the one he found." 

"I fear you're right. There is something else," Loki murmured. "Something he knows exists here. The new portal does not require something as powerful as the tesseract, since the barrier is quite thin. But not the ARC reactor, not on its own," he said in answer to Tony's opened mouth, when Tony was about to say the exact same thing, "It needs a dark energy source. And Earth lacks the resources to create such a thing. So it must originate off-world."

"SHIELD monitors all known artifacts of unEarthly origin," Natasha said. "Everything in their possession is in lockdown or destroyed. But there is one power source--" she hesitated. Barton started and gave her an urgent glance realizing what she was going to say. 

"Nat, no." 

But she looked at Loki with a steady gaze. "The scepter." 

Loki frowned at her. "Thor told me it was broken." Thor nodded in confirmation, frowning in puzzlement.

But Tony, cynical of the ways of SHIELD, already knew and groaned. God damn SHIELD and Fury and their lying ways…

"No, it's not," Natasha admitted. "That's what we told Thor, but it wasn't true. Director Fury didn't want Thor to take it to Asgard, so he confiscated it." 

Loki stilled and shut his eyes, inhaling deliberately, as if he was holding himself back from shouting at her. He opened his eyes to look at her and said in a very clipped tone, "You did not think to mention this before? Your world's _imminent destruction_ was not enough to put an end to Fury's secretiveness?" 

Thor stared at Natasha, then his gaze swept the others of his team, realizing at least some of them must have known. "You lied to me." 

"I didn't," Rogers protested. "I didn't know." 

"Yeah, not all of us," Tony added, folding his arms. "Fury told me _to my face_ the Mind Control Glowstick was destroyed."

Natasha replied steadily, "Only Clint and I knew."

Loki snorted and rolled his eyes. "I hope you all realize I have been far more honest with you than Fury ever has." But then he got more serious and leaned on his fists against the table, and turned flinty eyes on Natasha. "Where is it?"

"Safe." 

"Like your tesseract facility was safe?" he sneered at her. "Like your Helicarrier was _safe_?" He caught Barton's flinch and let out a sharp laugh. "The Carrier. Are you all really such fools?"

Tony looked at Barton and Romanoff, hoping that Loki had guessed wrong and the scepter was somewhere else. But no.

"How is anyone going to find it to steal it?" she countered. "It's in the air, invisible. Even if someone manages to attack it --"

"Do not pretend you know tactics when you have handed Thanos an army!" he shouted at her. Everyone stared at him, confused and alarmed by his temper. 

"That's kind of a reach, isn't it?" Rogers asked, hesitantly. "Doesn't he have to get through the barrier first? SHIELD can protect it for now."

Loki stared at him, hands tightening and loosening as if he really wanted to do something with them, but wasn't sure what. He was also speechless, frustrated and angry words held in his throat, until he whirled away to glower at the wall, and warned through a clenched jaw, "Thor. I will kill them all if I hear one more moronic thing coming out of their mouths." 

"Brother," Thor reminded him quietly, "they cannot understand." 

"Their ignorance and arrogance is what frustrates me the most. They think they know so much, but they know nothing!" Loki seized his abandoned drink off the table, drained the contents, and slammed the glass down hard enough it smashed to pieces beneath his hand. Everyone else jumped, shocked by the sudden angry gesture, but it seemed to settle Loki's temper as he brushed the shards off his hand. It was a good reminder, Tony thought - even Bruce would have to transform to avoid cuts from glass if he'd done that. But Loki's skin was unbroken. 

He inhaled a breath to explain in a more level voice, "The scepter is a power source of its own; but its main function is a conduit of the power Thanos wields. When I used it as the Mind Control Glowstick," the dry distaste with which he repeated the words made Tony chuckle with appreciation, "I was calling upon his power. Now that the barrier has thinned, he needs no anchor on this side, no active wielder. He will reach through the scepter, and his influence will spread, his control will spread, until everyone on that carrier is in his thrall."

"Then we need to stop it," Steve declared, standing up. "We go to the Helicarrier, and we destroy the scepter." 

"No!" Loki blurted. "No, you must not. It may be the only weapon we can use against him." 

"But if Thanos can use it to control people - " Steve objected. 

"When I have it, I can shield it. But until then, yes, it is very dangerous. The only ones who should be near it are those who are immune to its influence - myself, Thor, Sif, for certain. Stark - given our encounter before, I think your reactor gives you protection." He frowned at the others as he headed to the bar. "The rest of you should keep your distance. Barton, your previous exposure may help you resist, or it may make you more susceptible. You should be cautious."

"And your previous exposure?" Barton demanded, but without the snide or hateful tone of voice he'd often had before. "You sure you're immune?"

"I'm the only one who can shield it." His curt answer wasn't very reassuring, as it didn't say he was sure. Tony was especially not reassured when Loki disdained the beer altogether, grabbed a clean whiskey tumbler off the bar and poured tequila like it was iced tea. Thor and Sif exchanged a glance, which Loki ignored utterly. Tony, who understood the impulse better than they did, wished he'd brought more alcohol back, instead of the rabbit food. Tony envied his capacity, really.

Glass in hand, Loki turned from the bar with a face that gave nothing away. "We need to find the Carrier and take the scepter before the thrall grows too late to contain. I can use the Casket and freeze everyone, including the ship." 

Tony pointed out the flaw. "If you freeze the Carrier, it'll fall out of the sky and crash." 

Loki gave him a look that suggested he did not give a damn. His lips turned up in a smirk and he said, "Then I suggest all of you heroes get to work to figure out how to do this your way. Because otherwise I will do it mine." Threat delivered, he took his tequila and headed out the hatch. 

"He's serious, isn't he?" Steve asked. "He'll crash the Helicarrier to stop it."

"Yes," Thor answered heavily, then added in apology. "He has been… short-tempered of late."

Tony snorted. Yeah, 'short-tempered' seemed a bit of an understatement. 

In his soft but very clear way he had of seeing the truth of things, Bruce said, "He's talking about the evil bastard who tortured him. Of course he's anxious."

That silenced them for a moment, as if they'd forgotten. Thor's expression fell in distress and he headed for the door, until Sif caught his arm. "You stay. I'll check on him." She ducked out, following after Loki into the afternoon light.

That left the Avengers around the table, each apparently waiting for everyone else to come up with something brilliant. Tony figured that was his cue and took a step forward.

Except Natasha spoke first. "He has a point. We may have no other choice but to bring it down."

Clint insisted, "This is all speculation. They have shields and protocols on the Helicarrier. They know that thing's dangerous."

"The problem," Tony told him, "is they think it's dangerous as a power source. Or a weapon in someone's hand. Even if they figure out it's a conduit to another dimension, which let's face facts, they're not that smart, they'd never know where it goes until it's too late."

Bruce concurred with a nod. "They don't know how to shield it from something like that. And even if Thanos had to wait until Loki used the Casket yesterday to weaken the barrier enough to touch anyone, that's still twelve hours head start."

"We should at least call Agent Hill and warn her to keep people away from it," Steve suggested. "Loki had to touch people with it, last time, so distance must help."

Saying her name reminded him and Tony sat up straight, an awful idea popping into his head. "Too late. When Hill called this morning, I thought she was just mad at me, but now... She called Loki a traitor, didn't even ask about you guys--" he waved at Natasha and Clint. "She didn't seem like herself."

A heavy silence fell, and Clint and Natasha exchanged a look of concern, and Tony remembered that Maria was probably not the only person on the Helicarrier they knew. 

"We don't know for sure," Clint said, but without much conviction.

"We should talk to them," Natasha suggested. "I know Maria well, I'll know if she's compromised. And we need to warn Fury." Off Tony's skeptical glance, she said impatiently, "He needs to know, Tony. If we keep him in the dark about everything, he'll get in the way."

"Gosh, you mean like how he keeps everyone else in the dark? Imagine that," Tony retorted.

"Tony," Bruce cautioned, and Tony waved a hand, conceding. 

"I know, I know, fine. But the carrier first for confirmation. And without telling them we're after the scepter," Tony said.

Natasha rolled her eyes. "Not my first time."

"Right, the whole lying for a living thing, I forgot," he said, not in the mood for her scorn. "JARVIS, contact Maria Hill. Try to hide our location best you can. And when you've got the link, patch it through, voice only." 

While Tony waited, he felt that it was probably a waste of time. The Helicarrier was compromised and they needed to plan to take it down, not talk to them. There was a brain-washed army, trying to prepare the way for Thanos and his even bigger army on the other side.. Tony thought of evil space whales floating in the void, and shuddered. Once was enough.

* * *

... tbc


	19. Confirmation

Loki climbed up to the mid-ship control area, where he'd gone last night. Instead of the chair, he leaned into the railing to watch the waves and sip at the tequila. Sif called his name below. He didn't help her find him by calling out, but nor did he hide away. Her step on the deck behind him announced when she found him.

"Are you well?" she asked. "You ate little." 

He snorted. "You need not feign concern." 

She joined him at the rail, protesting, "Loki, I am not!" 

"Oh? Well, I haven't heard it before, that's why it sounds so odd to my ears," he snapped at her. 

"Not so! I am concerned. I volunteered to help you."

He felt blindsided by that and confused, but mostly doubtful that she was doing anything but mocking him. He stiffened. "I need no help." He turned back to watch the clouds, hoping that was enough dismissal to send her away. 

But of course Sif only left when he wanted her to stay, so she continued and said to his back, "You will, in the battle to come. You will need all your attention on your magics, but Thor will be needed to fight the stronger foes. Someone must stand at your back and guard you from more mundane attacks. I will." 

He looked at her sidelong, still sure this was all some elaborate joke. "You? You who scorn everything not a sword? You who loathe everything about who I am? Guard my back, when you are the most likely to put a sword in it?" 

"No. Never, I swear," she responded, calm against his attack. "I do not loathe you - I never did. And now I see that your powers, your knowledge are a strength and a weapon, as much as any sword. You will not be outside the battle, as I always thought, you will be the battle. The only battle that truly matters." 

His fingers tightened on the railing to hold himself back, and asked with a perfectly controlled voice, "And what, if I may ask, prompted this abrupt change of opinion?" 

"Your mother, the queen," she answered, which was no answer at all. Taking the railing in her hand she moved beside him. "For many years, she has been… the symbol of my discontent, what I most wanted to change. I thought her … weak." 

He snorted. Only fools thought Frigga was weak. 

"I see that now," she said then turned to look at his profile to add earnestly, "You should have seen her, Loki. She confronted all the Frost Giants, unarmed, with such strength of will they could do naught else but follow her. She brought them to Svartalfheim, to battle to free you. She and Hogun went alone within Malekith's halls to search--"

"She did what?" Loki interrupted. "She made no mention of this to me."

"She did. She was fearless and determined to find you, and cared nothing for our objections. She stood against a Frost Giant about to kill a Svartalf mother and child, fleeing the frostfire. She is a warrior, and it was foolish of me to judge that she was not, merely because she is no shieldmaiden." 

"So you found respect for her by calling her a warrior. That does not explain why you are here. Or in fact this supposed respect for me when in the past, you have had scarcely a tolerance for magic, even when it saved your life." He couldn't keep the bitterness from his voice and was glad to see her flinch. 

Her answer was unexpected though. "I saw how you changed Jotunheim."

He cast a curious frown at her. "Changed it? I changed nothing."

"You did. Where you used the Casket, the clouds part and one can see the stars. The light shimmers in the ice all around. I have seen hardened Jotnar warriors stand there and weep for its beauty. You created that." 

He listened, unable to imagine what she was saying, dismissing it all with a shrug, "Not with intent." 

She shook her head, insisting, "Perhaps, but that makes it more remarkable. You defeated them. Not through destruction, but in creation." She seized his arm impulsively. "The wonder you made, Loki, the queen's strength, understanding your trials - I saw the world anew. And I knew I … I owe you a debt," she added more softly. "I wanted so much to be a warrior that I adopted their attitude, not realizing that I offended you in the same way I was offended. I was unkind and, more, I was wrong. I apologize."

He regarded her for a long moment, unblinking. She was honest and genuine, and something caught in his chest at her words as if they'd been a blow. After a moment, he found his breath again and admitted with a sigh, turning back toward the water, "Not so wrong as I might wish. My heart is a tangled, shadowed place on the best of days." Even after how awful he'd been to her, she was still volunteering to help. And somehow in this last extremity, when life and death pressed him so closely he could barely distinguish them anymore, resentments seemed petty and foolish. He swallowed to clear his throat for the words that he found so difficult, taking a drink to wash the way open. His hand tightened on the glass. "For my part, I know it changes nothing, but I should not have sent the Destroyer to Midgard. I … I felt … I was drowning. The tighter I tried to hold on, the more everything slipped away from me…" He braced for her mocking scorn, that he was pathetic. He wouldn't even argue when she said it. Because sending the Destroyer had been only one of many pathetic decisions he'd made, trying to grab for glory that wasn't his.

"I know," she said softly. "I saw the madness in your eyes, but I misunderstood its root. But now I know and the secret has helped me understand you better. It makes you no monster. You are a prince of Asgard to me, still, and I will defend you."

He shook his head, in rejection of her words and her offer, and looked at Sif's beautiful face, the fierce light in her eyes, and that rare spirit of hers. He, above all, knew what they faced, and he knew the most likely end. 'Make your choices in wisdom and compassion and make better ends,' Frigga had told him. He needed to preserve one of the few who had fought the oppressive weight of convention on Asgard. It was time to start making better ends. 

So it was with genuine appreciation, not anger, that he refused her, "I would not keep you from the thick of battle, Sif. I know it is where you thrive. But I thank you for your offer." 

"If there is battle, I will stand with you," she declared, unmoved. "We must defeat the enemy, and I know you are the best hope for that."

Best hope? He gave a bitter laugh at that. "Then we are all doomed." He pulled his hand out from beneath hers and finished off his drink. "Do not look to the pawn for salvation, Sif, you will be disappointed." 

She didn't speak for a moment, the weight of her regard like Mjolnir as he watched the sunlight sparkle in the crystal. Finally she asked, "What happened to the man who told me he was the prince who would stand between me and Thanos?"

He remembered the previous confrontation, and corrected softly, "Villain. I said villain."

"I heard prince," she insisted. "Who promised not to let Thanos burn the Nine Realms to ash? He still stands before me, does he not?" 

Did he? It seemed so very long ago he had said that. He found a weary smile for her. "A bit worn around the edges, but yes. I still intend to destroy him. Somehow."

"Good. You will make a plan. A better plan than these mortals down below can come up with." She waved a hand dismissively. "Because you are not a pawn, you are a god and the son of gods, and it is time you remember that. I think you will feel stronger if you eat. And stop drinking so much." She plucked the empty glass from his hand. "Come below and finish your meal." 

He groaned at this sudden harassment from a new direction: Frigga, Thor, Munin, and now her, too? "Sif..."

Her smile was surprisingly impish. "Shall I say something about how sunlight and water are necessary to make the flowers bloom?" 

Startled he barked a laugh at the echo of his mother's words and he held up his hands. "I give in, please no more! I know when I am surrounded."

"Finally." 

He followed her back down, not at all eager to eat anything despite his words. He'd recovered seidr, but the nausea from his poisoning lingered, so he had no appetite. The constant reminders of Thanos were not helping either. 

But if he managed a few more bites, maybe everyone would stop nagging so incessantly. 

In the main room, all seemed quiet, and Stark put a finger to his lips in an odd gesture, as Thor gestured him and Sif to be silent. 

Natasha's eyes flicked to him as she replied to someone else, "I thought you'd want to know." 

Agent Hill answered, " _Of course, Natasha. It's important we know_."

Loki grabbed for the frame of the door as dizziness made the room seem to tilt as if the ocean waves were battering the yacht and spinning it around. 

Thanos. That was Thanos. It was too late. The scepter had already done its foul work and the Helicarrier was lost.

Sif threw an arm around his back as his legs refused to hold him and his knees felt like they were nothing but bone shards grinding together. He shoved at her, trying to keep control, inhaled a deep breath and clenched his jaw. He could not let this pass, and he would call Thanos on his lie. He declared boldly, "Thanos. I know you hear me." 

Agent Hill's voice, but colder and somehow deeper, discarded the pretense immediately, " _Loki. You chose unwisely, my pet_." 

His nausea grabbed his insides and threatened to vomit all over the deck, and he swallowed it back. Yet despite his fear and disgust, he felt Sif's supporting hand on his shoulder and remembered her words of earlier, and looking at Thor's face, he found the strength to keep his voice level. His hands fisted tightly, and he set his jaw as he said, "The Nine Realms stand beneath Asgard's protection and we give you warning: depart Yggdrasil and do not return, or you will be destroyed."

Thanos-in-Maria laughed. " _You are too weak, traitor. They build a new container for you on this craft, one to hold you tight while I crush every bone in your body to hear the music of your screams_." 

His companions looked at each other, horrified by the threat, and Thor hefted Mjolnir as if he wanted to pound Thanos with it, but Loki wasn't impressed. Thanos had already done worse; physical torture was the least of it. Loki lifted his chin and in a voice dripping with cold menace, he returned, "I have been playing your game, but that ends, Thanos. Now you enter mine. I will see you ripped from existence, Jormungandr will devour your heart, and I will scatter your atoms in the void. This I swear." 

Into the silence that followed his vow, JARVIS said, " _Call terminated_." 

Trembling fingers pressed against his legs, Loki slumped against the bulkhead and tried to remember how to breathe.

* * *

In the aftermath of the abrupt confirmation that they were all, in fact, very screwed, Tony blew out a breath. "Well, you weren't exaggerating. Thanos is bad news."

Sif corrected, "Evil. Thanos is evil." 

Tony rolled his eyes at her. "Yeah, I got that. The 'crush all your bones while you scream' part kind of gave it away. So, looks like we didn't need any fancy spy interrogation. Now we know and he knows we know."

"It's worse than that, isn't it?" Steve murmured. "We're too late. If he has Agent Hill, he has everyone on the ship."

"We need to stop them," Natasha said. "How do we do that?"

Tony glanced at Loki, who was frozen against the wall, gaze fixed on nothing. Sif touched his shoulder, Loki jerked alert, back from whatever terrible trip down memory lane he'd been on. "Loki?" she asked.

Fast enough he might have teleported, he was out from under her hand and his smile was bright but brittle as burning paper. "Never better." 

Trying to lighten things up, Tony asked, "Maybe he believed you? I was convinced, and I knew you were lying your ass off. Maybe he'll go bother someone else now."

Loki's chuckle was strained and his smile forced, but he did seem a little more relaxed afterward. "I wish. But, no. He is too close to victory."

"So there's an army of brainwashed SHIELD agents, the Helicarrier, and a scepter," Banner listed. "He still needs a portal. Can he build it with the scepter?"

"Perhaps. Though he would have to surrender direct control through it." Loki headed toward the bar, only to be blocked as Thor stepped in his path, arms folded. Loki didn't seem to notice, thinking aloud, but his steps redirected toward the dining table, circling it. "It is possible to make a portal in the air or sea, but difficult. Much easier on land." His gaze caught Clint's and he started with a realization. "Someone should warn Selvig. Dark energy is somewhat esoteric knowledge even in the other Realms, and he is the only one here on Midgard who carries knowledge of it. They will need help." 

Tony was going to object to that, just on general principles, since he did know, at least a little, thank you very much.

"We need to warn Director Fury," Natasha said. "He can get Selvig to safety." 

Tony was still suspicious that she would bring SHIELD down on them, but Fury wandering to the carrier and getting grabbed by Thanos was a worse risk, so he groaned in aggravation and waved a hand. "Go for it. You can use the control deck, and share all the SHIELD secrets you want. JARVIS, still hide our location best you can, but Romanoff can phone home." 

Natasha nodded and rose to leave. Loki wandered close to his abandoned lunch and then around the end of the bar, heading back toward the bottles, not the food. Tony didn't know much about Asgardians, but since Thor seemed to think Loki should be eating something, Tony figured he'd try again. He reached under the bar and plunked a jar of salted peanuts on the table in front of him. Loki blinked in surprise. "The bird told me you like hazelnuts. All I've got is Nutella and JARVIS says that's got dairy. But I do have peanuts. They're good for you." 

Loki glowered at the container as if he wanted to set it on fire with the power of his mind, and didn't reach for it.

Tony groaned impatiently. "JARVIS? Could you tell our guest I'm not trying to poison him?"

" _Yes, sir. Peanuts are legumes. Of particular interest to you because of your dietary restrictions, peanuts are high in protein, monosaturated fats, and several minerals necessary for human cellular health_." 

"There, see? Good for you. And while you eat, we can make a plan and you can sneer at it, because of course you will." 

"As long as it takes the scepter from Thanos, Stark, I care little how it is accomplished." Under his brother's encouraging nod and smile, Loki heaved a sigh of resignation and poured a few of the nuts onto the surface of the bar. 

He picked one up to taste it. "It is salty, with a strong taste, not unpleasant," he said and poured out a small pile. Munin, who had been sitting atop the lighting sconce, launched himself at the peanuts.

"Munin!" Thor called sharply, and the raven turned the opposite way, as if he hadn't been intending to steal Loki's peanuts at all, heading out the open hatch with a loud caw.

While Loki was eating something, Tony looked to everyone else. "All right. Plan ideas? Besides freezing the carrier and killing everybody," he insisted, pointing at Loki, who answered with a lazy smirk that he didn't care. 

Clint suggested, "We use the quinjet as subterfuge to get close. They're not going to know which quinjet is it, if we hide the IFF. Iron Man and Thor attack separately as a distraction, while the rest infiltrate the carrier itself to retrieve the scepter."

"Ah, there will little loss of life, the carrier will remain intact, and it will be a mission well-done, of course." Loki's sarcasm left little of his feelings to the imagination. 

"See, I knew we'd get to the sneering," Tony said. "Fine, smartass, you got a better plan that's _not_ kill all of them?"

"That idea is too similar to the previous attack plan." Loki poured tequila into another glass, apparently truly pondering the question, and asked, "Captain Rogers. What would you do?"

Steve blinked in surprise that Loki had addressed him at all, and after a look around to the others, said, "We hit it hard and fast. Put a hole in the carrier wherever the scepter is and grab it. The hole will make it unfit to fly and weaken it." 

Loki listened and then pointed at Steve. "Yes. Ordinarily I am averse to what I call Thor Plans," he glanced at Thor, and Sif chuckled, "but in this case it is the better choice. They know I am involved and will assume subterfuge, so we should use that against them." 

"And the loss of life in such an attack?" Clint asked. "It was a surgical strike before."

"Thanos must be stopped," Sif said. "We must take his weapons and his army from him. Or the loss of life will be far greater in the end." 

"We disable," Natasha said. "Kill only when necessary."

Loki plucked out another peanut to eat it and offered, "I can put some asleep." 

Tony was glad he wasn't the only one who stared at Loki at that revelation.

Loki laughed at their surprise. "Did you think you saw the whole of my skills before? I assure you, you did not."

"Well, that would certainly help," Steve said, nodding and adding the information to their available resources. 

But Thor wasn't buying it entirely. "How many times have you told me that all power has its price, Loki? What would the cost be to you? Would it prevent your ability to shield the scepter?" 

"Putting the entire carrier to sleep would, so I cannot offer that, but a few I can manage." He shrugged as if it were inconsequential. 

"I get punching a hole in it to grab the scepter, but how do we know where the scepter will be?" Clint asked. "Before, we knew it would be in the main lab. Here, though, seems to me it could be wherever Thanos wants it to be."

Loki smiled. "Ah, Barton, you are right, yet you understand Thanos so little. Maria Hill will have it. And in an attack, where will she be?" 

Clint and Natasha exchanged a look. "The command deck." 

"But how can we be sure she's there?" 

Loki's smile widened as if they should know the answer to that question. He lifted a peanut between his finger and thumb. "Because for the low price of a few of these, I know a certain raven who will spy for us through those large front windows."

This might actually work, Tony realized. They could do this. 

"Heed him," Sif advised. "Would we had listened to his battle plans more often." 

Loki glanced at her, pleased.

"What about Agent Hill?" Natasha asked. "Can you free her? Or any of the others?" 

"You could just go around and knock everyone out, worked for me." Barton suggested. 

She eyed him and her lip quirked in a bit of a smile. "Only your hard head." 

Loki sorted the small pile in front of him – putting the whole ones and the halves into an alternating pattern - as he considered. "Perhaps. If I have the opportunity I will attempt it, but I suspect there will be little time." He held a hand, palm down above the small peanut grid, and when he lifted his hand, all twenty-five levitated above the table's surface. Gaze fixed on what he was doing, he induced a wave function so the plane took on a third dimension, and with a flick of his fingers, twirled it into a cylinder. He clenched his hand, and the peanuts crushed together in mid-air to make a paste that sculpted itself into a small model of the scepter that floated in mid-air in a not-subtle demonstration that, no, they hadn't seen all of Loki's powers when he'd attacked Earth. 

But Tony was surrounded by impressive people, so he rolled his eyes. "You know, Reindeer Smurf, toddlers play with their food less than you do." 

Surprisingly not offended, Loki snorted a laugh, not taking his gaze away from the floating peanut butter scepter. But his voice when he spoke was more somber. "We cannot let them escape with the scepter. Else this spreads. So taking it and shielding it is my first priority. The rest of you need to contain them." 

Steve nodded. "So we have to take out their launch capability. Tony, you and Thor hit the deck, take out the jets." 

"How are we going to find them if they're invisible?" Natasha asked.

Tony scoffed. "After the Goat over there broke the Carrier, they decided they needed better propulsion systems. So I put in new engines, not those inefficient fans they had that some dude with an explosive arrow could take out--" 

Rather to his surprise, Loki and Clint exchanged a glance. "It was his idea," they both said in unison.

"It worked better than I expected," Loki added blandly, but his eyes shone with smug delight.

"Point being," Tony interjected, "those new engines are a design I know well, with very specific set of harmonics and outputs. And since we know where they are roughly from their call, once we get close enough I can target them. And then you, Big Hammer, light it up. A good-sized lightning strike will force the shielding to depolarize and everyone will see it then."

Thor nodded agreement with this plan. "Understood. It will not destroy the systems?"

Tony shook his head. "Nah, it has to be able to withstand lightning, so I wouldn't worry about it. Hit it hard."

Natasha was behind Clint before Tony realized she'd come back in. 

"How'd it go with Fury?" Steve asked her.

"He was... not pleased," she answered with dry understatement. "About any of it. But now he knows what's happening. We're tasked to stop the carrier. And no, Tony, I didn't mention the scepter."

"What? I didn't say anything!" Tony feigned outrage though he had wondered. 

Steve stood up. "Then we finish our plan. Attack the Helicarrier, take the scepter back, stop the carrier, and contain everyone on it." 

Thor looked around at all of them and nodded. "We are mighty together. I have no doubt we will succeed at this." It was a bit silly how Tony felt just a little bit more confident afterward. Thor and his speechifying was pretty effective when he wanted to be. 

More hesitantly, Bruce asked, "What about me?" 

"Other Guy helps us trash the launch deck," Tony suggested.

Loki lifted his head to smirk at Natasha. "Green monsters are always such a fun part of the plan." She returned his look, levelly, and picked up her cup to sip at the water, unimpressed. 

"How would we get Bruce back, though?" Steve asked, with a worried frown. "You haven't mastered switching back, have you?" 

"No," Bruce admitted with a twist of his lips. "Especially not if they're shooting. I should stay here. I'd just endanger you." 

Loki disagreed. "No. If I don't bring the Casket, we might need the Green Monstrosity to rip the carrier apart to stop it."

A weighty silence fell in the wake of his words, a recognition that his suggestion would risk everyone's life on that carrier if Hulk crashed the carrier in the middle of the Atlantic. Yet no one argued against it.

They continued to discuss the specifics of the plan and the timing, deciding to hit them just after sunrise, with the morning sun in their eyes. Tony had JARVIS set the engines to full, heading east to intercept.

* * *

...


	20. The night before

The team had settled into scrounging some dinner, and not surprisingly Tony noticed that Loki had slipped out of the room. He found the Asgardian back on the sun deck, at the railing.

"Hey. How're you doing?" Tony asked, coming up to Loki's side.

Loki eyed him sidelong and looked out at the waves they were creating as the yacht headed east. "I know a spell to separate flesh from bone and I will use it on the next person to ask me that question."

Tony didn't really believe him, but he was certainly annoyed. "We're worried, that's all."

"I will carry out my part of the plan, I assure you." Loki's tone was stiff, and one hand curled more tightly around the rail, and Tony realized he was offended that everyone was questioning his ability.

"They're not - okay, I guess we're worried whether you can do it, but that's because we're concerned for you," Tony said and nodded down to the glass in Loki's other hand. "You keep trying to drink yourself into a coma, and that's not exactly a sign of gleaming metal health. Trust me, I know. Been there, drunk that, bought the distillery."

Loki lifted the glass to look at it in the orange light of the setting sun behind them. "Hopefully you didn't buy this one; it's quite terrible."

Tony didn't know what was in that glass but most of it what was left in his bar were things meant for mixers or little tiny shot glasses, not full highball glasses. "Yet you're drinking it."

Shrugging, Loki sipped at it. "There is little to choose from."

"Yeah, I didn't plan on needing to stock a liquor store." Tony thought mournfully of his best Scotch, drunk out of the bottle like corner store rye, to soothe a god's traumatic memories of getting tortured by an elf king and an alien supervillain.

Which was an impressive reason to need to drink, come to think of it.

"It is quite vulgar I suppose," Loki said. He wasn't trying to be funny, but nor did he have any particular intent to stop that Tony could detect.

Tony shrugged. "Nah, I say, if it helps, do it. We're pretty far from land in any direction right now, so you might want to ration it, until we can get supplies. But drink that pink champagne last - It's way worse than whatever that is you're drinking."

Loki eyed his glass, skeptical of that claim, but drank anyway. He set the glass on the rail and watched the water. In a calm, casual voice, he asked, "How many died in the ice?"

Tony was about to answer, lured by the conversational tone, but hesitated. Was this a discussion Loki was ready to have? Was this a conversation Tony wanted to have? Loki was unstable on a good day, and this was not a good day. And no matter how calm his face looked or how much he seemed to be inquiring like Pepper inquired after benefits packages, Tony didn't believe it for a second. "I, uh, don't exactly know-" he hedged.

Without pause, Loki's hand wrapped around his throat and lifted him off his feet. "How many?" he demanded, eyes alight.

Tony pulled at his hand. Damn, he'd forgotten that Loki, despite not being as obviously built as Thor, was still super strong. "… choking..." he managed.

Loki set him down and released him. "I have no patience, Stark. How many?"

Tony lost patience himself and flung the answer back at him, "One thousand nine hundred sixty-seven. Last I heard. I'm sure Fury would be happy to give you the exact number."

Loki froze, as if the answer had been unexpected. His eyes dropped, eyelids flickering, taking a moment to comprehend it. He turned away to look at the water and convulsively lifted the cup back to his lips and drained it. When it was empty, he leaned against the railing and let out a breath. "I knew there were some, but… not so many," he murmured. He hesitated, jaw clenching, and asked softly, "Do you know? Did that child -- the boy -- live?"

Throat sore from the strong grip, Tony opened his mouth to snarl that the boy was dead to punish him, but held his tongue. Screwing with him didn't seem amusing, just cruel. Then he wanted to say yes the boy lived, but that would be a lie, and he didn't think lying to Loki would work too well. "I don't know."

" _Sir_ ," JARVIS murmured in his ear, likely to offer to find out, but Tony shook his head sharply. He didn't want to know the truth.

Loki gave a little nod of acknowledgment.

"There wouldn't have been so many," Tony explained, "except two planes crashed when they lost power. Luckily, the rest were grounded or got out of the area fast enough."

Loki wasn't listening, staring out into the water with hooded eyes and lips pressed into a flat line, suppressing some greater emotion within.

"It's not your fault," he murmured to Loki.

Loki was not in the buying mood though, saying more formally. "I appreciate your attempt to absolve--"

"I'm not saying that to make you feel better. I'm calling it like I see it, and it's not your fault," Tony said. "Before, with the Chitauri, I don't know how much of that was your fault - some, all, none, a little? I don't know. But this? Not your fault."

"It was _my power_ ," Loki insisted.

"Used without your will. And you practically killed yourself to pull it back." When Loki opened his mouth to object again, Tony held up a hand. "No. Stop. Don't try to bullshit a bullshitter. I know damn well that nobody, including whatever the hell you are-- not a god, okay? just cut that shit out, it makes people mad-- but not even you can touch all that power and not risk burning yourself from the inside-out. And you did it because of the boy."

Surprisingly, Loki didn't try to argue. He stared out at the water, mouth and throat fluttering with words he couldn't find and shaking his head, still resisting what Tony was trying to tell him.

Tony decided maybe he should put it the other way around. "You tried to do the right thing. Sometimes even when we do the best we can, we can't save everybody."

Loki gave a bitter little chuckle. "No one's accused me of trying to do the right thing before."

Tony wondered if that was a lie, or technically true that no one had said that to him. He didn't believe it either way; that was Loki still reflexively casting himself as the villain or shadow to Thor's hero. Tony didn't argue it though; he just shrugged. "You'll get the hang of it."

Loki scoffed. "As if I want to. Boring do-gooders. So predictable."

"Not as much as you'd think. Bad guys like fucking stuff up in new ways. And there's time to do other fun things. I built a new armor and brought down this terrorist - fake terrorist," Tony waved his hand in a vague circle, "well, real terrorist and mad scientist guy…. It's a long story. You can ask Bruce. Except don't because he fell asleep. But it wasn't boring living it. Doing good."

Lips twitching into a smile, Loki asked, "Are you trying to _recruit_ me, Stark?"

Until he said the words, Tony hadn't, but then he saw all the advantages. "I could use someone besides Bruce to talk to. And, c'mon, Fury's reaction would be _amazing_."

Loki chuckled. "That it would. But you already have Thor, it seems unfair to you mortals to have to fight us both." He lifted his glass up, before grimacing to find it empty. "Appears I shall have to go find something else."

"Food?" Tony suggested. "Or is it still making you feel sick?" Loki's gaze cut to him, surprised that he knew. He didn't deny it, though, and Tony figured that was much of an affirmative he could expect. "People who pick at their food after they haven't eaten in days are people who worry about throwing it up."

Loki took a moment to answer, lips pressing together before finding a bit a wry smile. "I have a hostile relationship with sustenance at the best of times."

"Just sustenance?" Tony asked.

Loki tipped his head in acknowledgment that he had a hostile relationship to a lot of things, and peered into his empty cup. "Sometimes it does feel as if the entire universe has been set against me from the beginning. Even here on Midgard, there were tales about me before I was born."

Tony grimaced, having not considered what a burden it must have been to hear all that. "They're just stories," Tony reminded him. "And far as I know, the ones we have were written down way later, so I don't think five hundred years of telephone means anything. Or at least I hope not, because that Loki was doing some screwed up, bizarre crap." Tony grinned, in expectation, because he knew that Loki knew what he was talking about.

Loki rolled his eyes. "I assure you, there is no jest about the horse I have not heard a thousand times. Volstagg still believes it's amusing when he's in his cups. I have yet to turn his ale to sulfuric acid, but believe me, I have considered it."

If he thought that was going to stop Tony... "Well, it's hard for me, because that story's gold, but I'll try to _rein_ it in."

Loki shut his eyes and groaned.

"Sorry, couldn't resist. If you wait long enough, I'll trot out another one. Or it might behoove me, to find another tail."

He laughed while Loki's baleful glance threatened setting Tony on fire. "There is not enough liquor in your entire Realm..."

Tony was smug that he'd needled Loki successfully. "Well, I think liquor's a food group, so don't look at me to stop you. But watch out, some stuff that's left has dairy in it."

Loki inclined his head in brief thanks and headed along the rail for the hatch to the main room. Tony watched him go, and was still standing there when Natasha wandered up.

"You two seem very friendly," she observed.

"You missed the part where he strangled me?"

"I have been tempted myself," she teased drily. Then more seriously, she said, "He's erratic."

"Torture'll do that." And he was probably not that stable to start with, but she knew that. Tony glanced aft, in the direction Loki had gone. "He's gonna go drink til he passes out again."

Her gaze flickered. "Despite the mission tomorrow?"

"Sure. I'd give him pills if I knew what would work. Not like we're going to be dealing with him, after Thanos is defeated."

"Nick is going to insist on his capture," she warned quietly.

He snorted. "Yeah, good luck with that. SHIELD tried to nuke New York; they've got no business judging anybody."

"So, he just goes home like nothing happened?"

His eyes went to her, less amused by the hypocrisy. "Kinda like how you're walking around like nothing happened. Your file's interesting bedtime reading, by the way."

She returned his look, lips smiling faintly. "You're bluffing. You can't have gotten access."

He stared her down. "If it's in a SHIELD computer, I have it. You didn't think I was going to get drafted into this black box and not learn all the dirty secrets, did you? Come on, Romanoff, I have the only full AI on the planet. JARVIS broke SHIELD encryption months ago. And you can tell Nick I'll start releasing that stuff like my own personal wikileaks, if he screws this up."

Her eyebrows lifted. "You'd go that far, for him? Why?"

"Because whatever he says, he cares, and those two thousand killed by the Casket just hit him in the face and he's on the edge already. What's the point in punishing him? To break him? Make him hate humanity for the next thousand years? We've got a chance to make him an ally, and Nick wants to piss it away."

She considered his words, and nodded slowly. "You... make sense."

He made a face at her. "You don't have to sound so surprised."

"I've talked to Pepper, remember?" she teased, and her smile was friendlier. "Clint's heating some frozen pizza. So there'll be food in a few minutes," she offered and headed back toward the main cabin.

Tony had the unsettling feeling that he'd just passed a test and he glowered at her back before reluctantly following.

* * *

 

To his surprise, Loki found the main cabin nearly empty. He heard Clint humming in the kitchen area and he knew Thor and Sif were demonstrating moves to Steve up a level, so only Banner was there, sitting on the floor beside the bar in a meditative pose. Loki considered startling him, but startling Banner might have unfortunate consequences so he deliberately scuffed a boot on the threshold as a warning. Banner's eyes stayed closed, as Loki sought something else to drink.

"I think you won't find what you're looking for in a bottle," Banner murmured.

Loki examined the next bottle in the row and opened it to sniff the contents. It smelled overly sweet and he shuddered. He was going to have to be a lot more desperate. He set it down. "And what am I looking for?"

"Peace," Banner answered.

Loki's hand froze. He'd expected something sarcastic, not a single word that seemed to cut deep inside. He wanted to scoff at it, but all he could manage was a curt rejection. "I am not made for _peace_."

"I don't think that's true," Banner said, opening his eyes to examine Loki, his head tilted. "You push yourself to be a warrior and violent because you think it's what you should be, because Asgard is archaic, but if magic is another word for science, then sorcerer is another word for scientist, isn't it? You're more like me and Tony, than you are like them." He gestured toward where Loki could dimly hear Thor's voice encouraging Steve and Sif. "We three want to know how everything works." Before Loki could respond to that, Banner went on, "But I meant a more inner peace. I know about rage that consumes me, you know. And it's not hard to tell you're being consumed on the inside."

That should have earned him a dagger in his throat for his mortal presumption, but Banner was neither fully mortal nor in fact, presuming, since he had seen Loki before at Stark Tower. Without looking at Banner, only the next bottle in his hand, Loki answered very softly, "There is the strong possibility that I will cease to remember my past truthfully, only the tainted memories he forced upon me, and at that moment, I will become … someone else. Someone I don't wish to be. Though no doubt you and your kind believe my destruction to be justice."

Banner shook his head once. "I don't. It sounds terrible. And I'm glad you're holding against it. So instead of drinking, why don't you join me?" Banner invited, tapping his hand on the carpet in front of him. "We can meditate together."

Loki was wary of the offer. "Why?"

"'Why', what? Why meditate? Why am I inviting you? Why am I being nice?"

"Yes. I destroyed your city, killed thousands of your kind--" He stopped as his voice faltered at the thought. _They are ants_ , he told himself, _mortal insects that breed endlessly and to no purpose and then die_.

But the words no longer held any weight of truth, not even in his own head, especially when he remembered the boy frozen into mourning for the mother Loki had taken from him.

"You think I haven't done those things?" Banner returned. "Not on that scale, but I have. Everyone likes to say it's the Other Guy - even I like to think it's the Other Guy - but the Other Guy is me. I know that. That's why I meditate, to try to keep control so it doesn't happen again. It might help you keep it all straight in your head."

Loki eyed the spot on the floor, tempted for a moment, but then shook his head in refusal and gave a short laugh. "If only it were so simple…"

"What will it hurt?" Banner returned.

"That is rather the question," Loki answered dryly, but seated himself. "Very well. You are a calming presence."

Banner glanced at him, and his lips flickered in a surprised smile. "Seriously?"

Loki rolled his eyes. "Contrary to popular literature, I do not lie all the time."

"I just meant -- thanks. 'Calming' isn't something I hear often."

"I imagine not."

"You're not afraid of me."

Loki took a moment to think about that one. He had been… disturbed before, by the Hulk's massive strength, but now, he found no fear of the big green monstrosity in himself. "No. I find you reassuring."

Banner laughed, then stopped, recognizing that Loki meant it. "Why?" he demanded, incredulous. "Why the hell would I be reassuring to anyone? I hurt you. I remember that, I remember seeing you smashed into the floor. You could've died."

Loki shrugged. "If this taint in my mind takes over, you are the only one who will end it. Thor can but will not, and the others lack the strength."

"I'm your … _failsafe_?" Banner asked and laughed again. "I - wow. I'd never have guessed."

"No. You are used to feeling ashamed that you are dangerous. But there is no fault in being dangerous; the fault lies in fearing it."

Banner nodded slowly, in agreement, and Loki was satisfied. He needed Banner more confident and more controlled against Thanos.

Until Banner turned it on him. "Then isn't it true with you?" he asked softly. "There's no fault in your blood; the fault lies in your fear of it."

It was like getting struck with a lash, sudden pain sprouted where before there had been none. "Do not presume too far, mortal," he clenched his hands, fury rising inside like a cold storm, as he stood. "You know nothing."

Banner retorted, halting him halfway to the door, "Because I know nothing about having a part of me I hate and can't get rid of? You know I do."

The words he tried faltered on his tongue, trying to explain how Banner's beast wasn't like his own. "I -" He shut his eyes and explained roughly, "Did you grow hearing stories about your green friend, and how your people went to war with them and everyone agreed they were uncivilized monsters who ate disobedient children? And all the while, they knew you were one of them?" He swallowed hard and bit his lip and added, "Did your father believe an ancient prophecy you would kill him and destroy the universe? So you saw his _relief_ when you fell into an abyss to what should have been your death? Do not say you understand, Banner. Because you do not. No one does."

The room was suddenly stifling and he had to get out. He cast a short range teleportation, fleeing to the top of the ship. He desperately wanted to hit something, destroy it, rip it to pieces, rage was a tide within seeking outlet, and he wrenched the tall chair out of the bolts that held it and hurled it over the railing with a yell. Then he fired an energy bolt from his hand and the chair exploded in a burst of metal shrapnel and fluff that fell into the sea.

Exhausted, he slumped to the floor, chest straining for breath, as he heard the pounding footsteps of the humans coming to check it out. He pulled up his legs and wrapped an invisibility around himself, not wanting to deal with anyone. Resting his head against the curved wall of the yacht, he closed his eyes. He let their conversation flow over him, unheard, uncaring what they thought.

They all trooped back down the ladder and Loki let out a breath of relief when he was alone once more.

"You are still here," Thor said. "I thought so."

Loki's eyes snapped open to find Thor hadn't gone with the others. Instead he was inching closer to Loki's spot on the floor, face held taut with concentration, as he fumbled at the aether, trying to find Loki.

"Before you strain something," Loki muttered and let the invisibility fade. "I am in no mood for company. Go away."

Thor went to one knee before him. "Not when you are in distress." He patted Loki's arm, which was hugging his drawn-up knees. "Did Banner give offense?"

"No." Loki shook his head once and let out a sigh. "He meant well."

"I am relieved, but… why then?"

His lips quirked a wry smile, and he glanced at the ruin of the deck. "It was the only thing I could destroy that would not sink the boat."

"Because?"

"Sinking the boat would inconvenience our mortal companions," he retorted in jest, but when Thor glowered at him, Loki sighed and admitted, "He reminded me of the truth. That we are both monsters."

He felt Thor's worried gaze but instead of speaking, Thor sat next to him against the wall and stretched an arm behind him, clasping his shoulder to pull Loki against his greater bulk. Loki resisted, because Thor was being so ridiculous, but it seemed like too much effort after a moment. "I want it to stop hurting you," Thor murmured. "Tell me how to help."

"There is nothing you can do."

"Perhaps. But I will keep trying, even so."

Loki groaned. "Because you live to make my life a misery."

"What else are brothers for?" Thor retorted, with a grin. Then he grew more somber, and promised, "I will not let you go, I gave oath and I meant it, Loki. You are my brother, and I will do anything to help you escape this mire."

Loki was silent for a moment and then told Thor quietly, "For a moment, when I confronted Thanos, all fell into place. I knew I could be both, and I had a purpose. But then… he showed me what I truly am. What I should have been," his voice turned ragged but he pushed out the words wanting to tell Thor the truth, "this feral creature, some base _thing_ , lurking on the ice all alone…"

"No!" Thor protested. "You are what you should have been. It was no accident you came to us, no accident that Father found you and brought you home. You are where you are supposed to be. You are of both, and you are brave and strong as any warrior."

Loki snorted a laugh at _brave_ and _strong_ , but Thor was having none of his doubt. "Yes. Are you not here? Did you not resist Thanos and Malekith, and turn back their foul designs each time?" Thor asked. "I know you still hurt and I know they did terrible things, but take comfort, brother, these memories will pass. There will be joy and contentment and even mischievous pranks ill-becoming a prince again."

It was, actually, somewhat comforting, but Loki snorted disdainfully, "You are the most ridiculous sentimental idiot of my acquaintance."

Thor chuckled. "You only say that when you know I'm right." He lifted a hand to smooth Loki's wind-tangled hair with affection.

Loki ducked away. "Stop patting my head, or I swear you will lose the hand."

Thor smiled as if he didn't believe Loki's threat, but he did move his hand back to Loki's shoulder. "I didn't help you in our youth. I will not make the same mistake again," he declared.

"I should never have said anything," Loki muttered and thought about moving away, but Thor's hand tightened its grip to hold him fast.

"You should never have pushed me through the portal to face Malekith alone," Thor said, his voice the most intent Loki had ever heard. "It was brave, but foolish. What comes we must face it together, Loki. That is how it should be -- you and me, united against our enemies. Mother was right; we are stronger together."

Though Loki knew that shoving Thor through the portal had been the right choice to make and he would do it again, he nodded and groaned in aggravation. "I know. Together."

Thor's gaze narrowed on him. "You agreed too easily."

"What? I agree with you. You're too suspicious."

"Because you lie. And you lie especially when you have some other plan."

Loki held himself still so he wouldn't flinch in guilt. "Or when I want you to _stop talking_ ," Loki muttered. "You're worse than Munin." He pushed upward, slithering out from under Thor's hand, to his feet. He regarded the empty spot in the deck. "That was my favorite chair on this whole boat. Curse it."

Thor stood up, folding his arms in disapproval at the blatant avoidance. "Loki."

"What?" Loki countered, annoyed that they were still talking about this. "Am I not allowed to do stupidly heroic things? You have to take all of them to _yourself_?"

"That is not what I--" Thor started, realized Loki was provoking the wrong argument, and exclaimed, "You could have died! I was supposed to protect you and you sent me away!"

"Always you think of yourself!" Loki flared. "What of me?" Loki stalked two paces closer to him to stare in his eyes. "You think he would not have used us against the other? Do you think for one instant he would not make me choose between your life and letting Thanos through Jormungandr? And while I know – yes, I do know, Thor- what I _should_ choose, I will shove you through a thousand portals to avoid such choices."

Thor's lips parted, struck by what Loki was really saying. Loki bit his lip with regret that he'd blurted all of that, and tried to turn away but Thor's hand closed on his arm. "Loki."

Loki rolled his eyes and demanded impatiently, "Are you done?"

"No." Thor inhaled a breath, and with eyes suspiciously bright, he looked into Loki's and he insisted, "Your life is no less valuable than mine. You–you hold your own life so _small_ , willing to go to torture and death, but not willing to let us fight Malekith and Kurse. Despite all our great powers, you ended the battle in fear we would lose and you would be forced to watch me die. Yet you think nothing of making me watch you die." He gripped Loki's shoulders and gave him a shake. "It kills me, every time, Loki. Every time. Knowing you are suffering when I cannot aid you. Let me--" He swallowed hard and looked anxious, "– please, Loki, do not take this poorly, I know you are strong, you have endured so much and I do not doubt that - but please, let me help you. Share my strength. You are not alone. You may lean on me all you need, all there is, for you." His hand cupped the back of Loki's neck, beneath his hair, to hold him there and look him in the eyes. "Do not throw away what I hold dear."

Loki's first impulse was to push free and escape the welling tangle of feeling inside that he didn't know what to do with. He opened his mouth to speak and found nothing to say; reflex wanted to scorn Thor's words and shove them away, but Thor's sincerity fell into that cold, hollow space inside and Loki didn't want to dislodge it. His lips trembled, and whether Thor noticed that or whatever was in Loki's eyes that he wasn't shielding in that moment, Thor didn't press him for words. His thumb rubbed at Loki's neck soothingly, and he leaned in to plant a kiss on Loki's forehead.

"We will fight Thanos together, and we will defeat him. I know you struggle to believe it yourself, but believe me," he urged softly. "Hold on, and don't let go."

Loki could practically see the memories of the shattered Bifrost pass through Thor's eyes and he wished he could promise that might not happen again. But the truth was, their lives were not of equal weight. They never had been, and after Loki's failures and weakness, the value was even more out of balance.

But Thor would never agree, and if he knew Loki believed it, he would do something stupid to get in the way. So Loki forced a hard little smile. "Of course we will defeat him. After everything he has done, I will see him burned from the universe." But that wouldn't ease Thor's suspicion so Loki took a deliberate breath and said, "I know I have had some... difficulty of late that has not inspired confidence in my abilities or my... my sanity," he added with a ghost of a laugh. "And to you I confess Thanos inspires a fear in me I have never felt before, but I promise I will not let him win. I will not stop until his threat is defeated. On that, you have my oath."

Thor looked into his eyes and nodded, with grim satisfaction. "Good. Munin told me you are a lion, brother, and that the Realms will tremble when you unsheathe your claws."

Loki was struck by that, since it seemed so ill-fitting given his own black hair, then he snorted a laugh. "That would be more flattering if the bird wasn't fool enough to eat himself sick with nuts."

"He is still wiser than both of us put together."

"As that addition yields a negative number, I don't doubt that." He laughed more genuinely at Thor's suspicious frown, unsure whether that was a dig solely at him or both of them. So Loki could be magnanimous. "You may celebrate your success: you have improved my mood, something you used to achieve only with stupidity, and this talk is reminding me how little I've eaten lately. Do you suppose the others left any of that lentil dish? I quite liked that one."

It was amusing how eagerly Thor leaped on the admission that Loki was hungry again, hanging an arm around his shoulders. "I am sure they did."

Loki heaved a put-upon sigh because Thor deserved one, as Thor nudged him toward the ladder, as if afraid he might change his mind if Thor waited too long. But he didn't try to get out from underneath.

He ignored the looks he got from the rest of the team when he and Thor entered. Only Tony was mouthy enough to mutter something about tantrums, but Loki pretended he didn't hear it as he trailed after Thor.

Bruce lifted his head as Loki went by and said softly, "I wanted to say I'm sorry--"

Loki interrupted, "You were right."

Bruce's expression seemed sympathetic and though Loki tensed for some kind of mockery, all Bruce said was, "Next time, would you like to join me?"

"I-" Loki was surprised to be offered the invitation again, and then answered, something to his own shock, "Yes. Yes, I would."

Bruce's small smile and nod in response made Loki feel he'd chosen rightly, and Thor looked between them, smiling broadly as if he'd personally achieved this friendliness.

"Join you for what?" Tony asked curiously.

"Meditation," Bruce answered. "Everyone's welcome."

Tony snorted, "That may be great for green rage monsters and demigods, but thanks, I'll deal with my issues by not sleeping. I build cooler stuff that way."

Then he saw Loki was taking out the lentils and gasped theatrically. "Oh my God, alert the media, he's actually going to eat finally! Bruce, bring over the computer chair, we'll make room. Barton, keep the cheese over there so there's no contamination."

Loki watched, uncertain what he was feeling, as they cleared a space for him to join them. It felt odd but strangely warming, when no one, even Barton, said anything snide about his food, and they all continued to talk about the mission as they ate. Loki found his bowl empty quickly, as his appetite returned.

* * *

...tbc...

 


	21. Helicarrier

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Moving Quest complete, now onto Moving 2: the Unpackening, but at least that shouldn't interrupt posts, so we're off again!

* * *

 

 

Their quinjet sped eastward, with Iron Man ahead to scout. Steve, Clint and Natasha and Bruce were inside, while the three Asgardians sat on top of the jet. Doing so increased the drag, but it was better than them all being stuffed in the hold. Stark had heard their plan to fly on the outside of the jet with a great deal of skepticism, but in the end he threw out his hands and muttered to himself that it was their choice to be stupid. Both Sif and Loki were clipped to the hooks in the quinjet's exterior, so they couldn't be blown off accidentally, and Thor had casually made sure he was sitting forward of Loki to block most of the wind. He sat on his cape, when part of it flapped into Loki's face.

Loki noticed, but after one glower and a gesture that threatened to set the cape on fire, he sat tensely, with one hand clutching a strut for support and the other resting on Munin, who he held in his lap. Sif had streatched out flat on the surface to rest and wait, especially since it was too noisy to speak to one another.

Thor saw Loki's eyes flickering, going over the plan, no doubt worrying that they would not recover the scepter or something else would go wrong.

Thor reached his free hand to clasp Loki's knee to get his attention. "It is just like that trip to Vanaheim!" he shouted.

That won a grin. "I hope not!" Loki yelled back above the wind.

Thor shrugged. "We won, did we not?"

Loki rolled his eyes, no doubt remembering that Thor had ended up in the midden and Loki had gotten nearly strangled, but as Thor wanted to remind him, despite that desperate moment, they had won in the end.

Yet as anxious as Loki got with his plans, Thor knew that once it started, he would let himself go in the battle and enjoy it. Because he was still a warrior, and it was time he remembered that about himself.

The little machine in his ear beeped and Iron Man's voice came over it, " _Okay, people, party's starting. You're all added to the line, so no private conversations, okay? We can all hear you. We are ten minutes out from their last known coordinates. JARVIS, start the scan. They're getting close. Big Thunder, get ready_."

Thor nodded his acknowledgment.

"I'm the only one who can hear you when your head rattles, Brother, you need to speak aloud," Loki said, his voice striking oddly both against the wind and in his earpiece.

Thor glowered at him. "Ready," Thor stated for the others' benefit.

Loki lifted Munin in his hands and spoke words to the raven that the wind snatched away, but Thor wasn't concerned: Munin knew what to do. Loki lifted him up over his head and Munin spread his wings and launched himself into flight. Then, surprising since it wasn't part of the plan, Loki leaned forward and put both hands flat on the hull of the craft. He spun seidr - Thor could sense the threads of it creeping along the organic-metallic skin of the vessel, and Loki's eyes narrowed in concentration. Thor wanted to ask whether this was a wise use of his strength, but since he was already doing it, there was no point.

Thor reported, "Loki has cast an illusion over the jet to disguise our approach. I suggest you not waste his effort." Then, bracing himself against the rush of the wind and the cold, Thor stood up and spun Mjolnir, readying himself for the attack.

Romanoff's voice came through calmly, " _I have Iron Man's data for our course. Sensors are still blind to the carrier_."

" _Almost there_ ," Iron Man said. " _Just a few minutes, come on JARVIS, let's find these pod people, come on.... There! Gotcha. Transmitting coordinates. I told you they couldn't hide from me_."

Rogers said, " _Yes, you did, Tony. Is everyone ready_?" After all the affirmatives, he said, " _then we're a go_."

Thor launched himself into the sky, following after Iron Man who was a dim glow against the clouds. The quinjet swung around to dart in from another direction and take advantage of Loki's spell.

A small rocket appeared out of Iron Man's shoulder and launched straight at… nothing. But it smashed into something which was not a cloud, and there was a ripple. " _Right there, Blondie, hit that_."

Thor tightened his grip on Mjolnir and opened himself to its energies, calling forth the matching power from the magnetic field around them and the natural charges of the air all around, and as the lightning was pulled into Mjolnir he pointed her at the invisible craft and launched it.

It did, in fact, light up, exactly as Stark had said it would. The entire craft suddenly glowed as its illusion system was overloaded and then died, leaving the normal craft revealed. The carrier began to fire at them.

" _I got this_." Tony flew, drawing their fire aft, while Thor went forward to throw lightning at the ship again at the windows. Munin darted around and then swirled up in a circle to meet him.

" _There_ ," Munin cawed. " _It is there_."

"Munin says yes," Thor passed on and hurled Mjolnir and himself at the front widows of the carrier. He hoped he might be able to get inside and grab the scepter right away, without any other danger.

But the windows proved tougher than he'd expected, not shattering under the blow. The windows were made of that same impact resistant material that the cylinder had been made out of. He rebounded and had to try again. Mjolnir had broken the material eventually, and he could focus better here.

He could see within the stations where workers were stirring, alarmed at the sight of him outside, and there was Commander Hill at her central station where Commander Fury had stood. She had Loki's scepter in her hand, and Thor wanted to sigh. If only he'd insisted on taking that home as well, instead of believing the mortals that it had broken. He'd never known what it was, or he'd never have left it behind. Luckily he saw only ordinary projectile weapons.

" _I could use a hand_ ," Stark shouted. " _Jets are going to take off any minute. Plus, they're still shooting at me_."

Romanoff's voice came into his ear. " _Thor, crack it and go topside. I have a missile_."

"Understood." He spun around to get more momentum and slammed the window again. A web of cracks appeared around the impact site. "You have your crack, Black Widow."

The quinjet suddenly appeared in front of him as the illusion vanished. " _Got it. Targeting_."

" _MOVE_!" Loki shouted at him, and it was funny to hear his voice so distinctly while Thor could barely see him clinging to the top of the craft.

Thor flung Mjolnir up and out of the way, to help Iron Man keep the carrier deck from launching any enemies or escape by the simple solution of smashing as many ships as he could. Their weapons did not harm him and at first there was no one near enough to be concerned. He missed Hulk being with him, as he had been during New York -- Banner was a good companion for slamming the enemies with his hammer, but Banner waited on the quinjet in reserve. So it was Thor and Iron Man's task to keep the other jets from launching and disable the carrier, until the quinjet could assist.

* * *

 

Loki watched as the quinjet fired its missile at the window. Already weakened by Mjolnir, the missile shattered the window like glass. Loki flung himself flat, as Romanoff piloted the jet right after it, smashing the jet through the shards and right onto the deck.

" _We're down, go_ ," she ordered and before she'd even finished the words, Loki saw Sif leap off, heading straight for Hill.

Hill had taken cover behind a table as the window was smashed, and now she was trying to run out the far doors. No, not Hill -- Thanos. He was not going to let that scepter get away, not so easily.

Loki flung out a hand, hurling an energy ball. It tore up the floor between Thanos and the doors, sending her staggering back. Sif batted two other SHIELD personnel out of her way.

He jumped clear of the quinjet, beset by two more SHIELD members. He pulled out his daggers, to hear Barton's voice, " _Disable, damn you. Disable. Or I swear to God I will shoot the missiles right at you and our truce be damned_."

"Mortals," Loki returned, reversing his grips to slam the hilts against flesh. "Always spoiling my fun."

He kicked another over a desk and heard a step, whirling to confront another, to find Rogers before him. "What are you doing?"

"Helping you." Rogers threw the shield, mowing down the SHIELD agents heading for them. It was eerily familiar to see the blue eyes of the gem's influence draining their wills away.

Behind them, the quinjet's engines whined as it reversed and pulled back out, leaving very little glass in that entire wall. Loki resolved to stay as far away from the edge as possible; there were some things he had no desire to experience and falling into water from this height was one of them.

"You were supposed to stay in the jet," Loki objected, picking up and hurling a chair, which was not as elegant as Rogers' shield, but worked well enough.

"We thought you might… get carried away," Rogers said diplomatically.

Get carried away and start killing them was what he meant. "And you're going to do what?" Loki laughed. "You realize I could have killed you in Stuttgart? You cannot stop me."

"I can remind you," Rogers said. He threw the shield again to block Thanos's attempted maneuver around Sif and to another exit.

"Ridiculous." But Loki did check the force of his elbow as he smashed it back into another SHIELD agent's face, then whipped around and laid a hand on the woman's head. It was rough and quick, touching her mind with the sleep spell. He paused, a name besides Thanos floating at the surface of her mind, but the sleep spell activated and she dropped like a stone. He frowned at her, wondering--

"Loki!" Sif shouted, interrupting his thoughts.

Sif and Hill were battling. Ordinarily Loki was sure the mortal woman, however skilled she might be, would have no chance against Sif, but buoyed by Thanos, she was holding her own. Sif was limited by not wanting to land any killing blows, but in a furious strike with both ends of her glaive twirling she bound the scepter and sent it flying.

Reflexively, since it came right at him, Rogers caught it.

"Drop it!" Loki shouted. "Rogers, drop it!"

Rogers turned, hand extended to offer the scepter to Loki. "Here, take--" he started, but his eyes turned wholly black, as the influence crept through him, and when that was blinked away, the blue of his eyes had turned brilliant cobalt.

"Yes, much better," he said, with Thanos' intonation. "Stronger."

Loki flicked his eyes at Sif, who sent Hill to the floor with a sharp blow, and then her gaze met his, troubled.

"He got Rogers," Loki reported tensely so the others would know, easing back two steps. "I have to take him down."

Thanos-in-Rogers laughed. It was an unnerving sound, Steve's voice but Thanos' tone. "You? Do you know what I will do to you, pet?"

Thor's voice came urgently over the comm. " _Don't you dare touch him, Thanos_!"

"I already touched him, Odinson. And he will scream for a thousand years for failing me."

Loki forced a laugh. "So many empty threats. Especially when you're in a mortal body." He threw a dagger, knowing Thanos would bat it away using the scepter, not the shield, and Loki threw again, to hit his wrist and force him to drop it.

The blade sliced along Rogers' arm, but not deeply enough.

Loki grimaced with disappointment, as Thanos grinned. "Is that all you have, traitor?" He dropped Steve's shield with a clang as he headed for Loki, hefting the scepter to drip his blood on the floor. "Did you want this again, pet? Do you hunger for the taste of my mind in yours again?"

Loki clenched his jaw around the sudden urge to be sick and forced out, "Give it to me and you'll see what I hunger to do with it." He shifted to his left between the computer stations, making it look like he was retreating from Thanos. Without taking his eyes away from Thanos, he backhanded one of the humans stirring to come up behind him. Behind Thanos, he saw Sif sneaking into position.

They knew each other well enough to need no words or even a glance to do this. They'd done it a hundred times: one of them drew the enemy out, attracting the opponent's attention, while the other came at them from behind.

When she was in position, ready to vault the rail, he motioned as if to throw a dagger, but called fire instead in an expansive fireball. Without the shield Thanos had less protection, and he roared and staggered back from the fire, blinded briefly.

Sif was already in motion, one hand propelling her over the railing and one boot kicking out to hit him in the back. "Let it go!"

"Hit him in the head!" Loki shouted and she spun around to slam her boot in the back of Rogers' head. He staggered, stumbling to his knees.

"To me, my servants!" he shouted. "To me." Raising the scepter, the stone glowed brightly and Loki threw another dagger, this time it hit him in the wrist. Thanos yelled and the scepter finally went flying from his hand.

Loki scrambled after it, trusting Sif to keep him under control as he fought to grab it first before any thrall picked it up.

"Loki!" Thor's voice bellowed as he flew in through the shattered window.

"Stop Rogers!" Loki gestured urgently, and Thor landed near Rogers and Sif. She dropped Rogers to the ground with another kick, and Thor put Mjolnir on his chest. He struggled, bright blue eyes blank, but couldn't free himself.

"He's restrained," Thor reported.

"Still in thrall though," Sif said.

"Let me see if I can undo it," Loki said and bent down for the scepter, hand extended. His fingers stopped above it, not touching it. He had to shield the connection from Thanos, but now that he was here and had seen the full strength of it through the weakened barrier of Jorumngandr, he wasn't sure he could do it without breaking the link of the scepter to Thanos. And if he broke the link, there was no reason to keep the scepter at all, because it would serve no more purpose to use it against Thanos.

" _I don't know what you're all doing, but we're losing containment_ ," Tony shouted. " _I'm trying to make the deck a cratered unusuable mess but they're too fast. Thor, we could use your help_."

"I regret, friend, that Mjolnir is occupied."

Loki knew that was his cue to take control of the scepter, and after inhaling a deep breath, he centered himself as best he could to set himself against any attempted invasion, and wove a shield around the stone itself to disrupt the link with its master stone as he'd planned. He grabbed the scepter's haft.

Last time, once he held it, he had never wanted to let it go. It had felt _right_ , as if it belonged in his hand, comfort and pleasure and power coursing through him whenever he held it.

But not this time. This time that flowing power through his body seemed to have barbs, catching and scratching, scouring him on the inside. He let out a cry before he caught it back, clenching his jaw and forcing the power back outside himself, behind the shield he'd woven.

"Brother!" Thor called, sounding worried. "Loki?"

Loki climbed to his feet, scepter in hand. "I have it," he said through his teeth. "I need to do a better shield, but this will do for now."

"And Rogers? Commander Hill? Can you undo it?" Sif asked urgently.

But he had no time to answer as the carrier trembled under them violently.

" _Got it_!" Stark crowed over the comm triumphantly. " _This baby is going down. The aft lift engine is offline. They're going to have to land it_."

"Will it land itself?" Loki asked, looking around. All the staff seemed unconscious or wounded, and certainly all of them were still mind-controlled. "Because there is no one on the command area capable."

" _No, damn you, no_ ," Stark yelled. At first Loki thought it was an answer to his question, then realized Stark was seeing something else. " _JARVIS, track them_!"

" _Do we chase_?" Romanoff asked.

Sif's voice answered for her tight with concern. "We've got new friends!"

"Many agents entering the deck," Thor added, and Loki turned to see a new group coming in. Sif picked up Rogers' shield as the SHIELD agents start firing at them to deflect the bullets back into the equipment.

" _We're coming in_ ," Romanoff's voice announced over the comm. " _Pack for transport. Two jets gone, and the carrier's going down. To answer your question, no, the autopilot should have control. It appears to be descending already_."

Loki could see that for himself. They were losing altitude, though fortunately not quickly. The carrier would probably stay intact, if it continued this rate of descent. It worried him that they were starting to tip aft.

The quinjet entered the broken command deck again, as Loki hurled a blast at the doorway to encourage the humans to stay back as he crossed the deck to join the others.

Thor asked, "Loki, can you help Rogers?"

"No time," Loki said. "Take him on the jet. Sif, help him, I'll hold his shield."

"I'll hold the shield, you help," Sif retorted, watching the door.

He groaned in irritation that she was arguing. "I have to keep the scepter shielded, I can't touch Rogers with it. Hurry."

Her glare was annoyed but she threw the shield in his direction, and he caught the rim in his free hand. She went to help Thor, as he removed Mjolnir from Rogers' chest allowing him to struggle again. She finally hit him on the head with the hilt of her sword, which didn't send him unconscious but at least dazed him long enough for Thor to sling him up on his shoulder, Mjolnir in his other hand.

Retreating toward the jet, Loki tried to give cover against Rogers getting hit by any stray projectiles, since they wouldn't hurt Sif or Thor.

Hill woke up and ran after them, her eyes still very blue. "No! You can't have it!" She unloaded her sidearm at him and he held Rogers' shield up to deflect all the bullets, remembering when she'd fired at him in the tesseract facility. His memories of that felt weirdly vague - his own, but clouded as if he hadn't been looking at anything in detail.

"Loki, hurry!" Thor urged from the hatch into the jet.

Loki stirred to retreat backward. The doors opened on the upper level and another SHIELD agent appeared, this one with a much larger gun that Loki recognized the same instant it fired at him. "No!"

The concussive blast hurled him backward, right past the jet, the shield falling from his left hand. He held onto the scepter, hoping to have a free hand to grab something, but there was nothing to hold onto as he was blown right out of the carrier and into open air.

He looked down. There was nothing beneath him but the sea, a long way down. This was going to hurt without the Casket's power strengthening his invulnerability. That force gun of SHIELD's – he was going to rip it apart and shove the pieces into every orifice of the inventor.

" _LOKI_!" Thor bellowed.

Loki bit out a swearword as he looked up at the Helicarrier. The descending carrier. He could survive the fall, but the carrier landing on top of him...

" _What happened_?" Stark demanded.

" _Falling_ ," Loki answered curtly. " _Rather concerned about the helicarrier landing on top of me_."

" _Coming_!" Thor yelled in his ear. " _Sif, hold Rogers_."

" _Stay with Rogers, I'm on it_ ," Stark said. " _Hold on, Loki_."

"To what exactly?" Loki returned drily. "The scepter? I have it, but losing it under the sea would be very unf--"

Thor cut him off. " _Loki! Shadowpath_."

"Needs an anchor." But he saw the swooping form of Munin and had an idea. "Munin!" he yelled and whistled. "Come here, pigeon."

Munin came to him, diving in close with his head cocked in puzzlement that Loki was falling from the sky. "Munin, portal. Anywhere."

" _Too small_!" Thor objected in his ear, as if Loki didn't know that.

He judged Iron Man's arrival and the water. "No time. Munin, go!"

The raven looked tremendously dubious of this plan, but opened the portal. It was a tiny hole, barely enough for a bird to slip through.

Loki flung the scepter's energies at the portal, forcing it to widen. It widened. A little, a little more. He wasn't going to fit. Damn it. _Open_. With a final clawing effort, he found a little more power and tore the opening wider right beneath him.

He fell through the hole in space-time and into another sky.

Still falling. But this was a new place.

He was high above Asgard. He looked down at the towers and the gardens and the sea, with the mountains towering on the horizon. He saw the bridge heading to the Observatory, flinching a bit at the newness that had to be rebuilt because of what he'd done.

Home. He ached to land and find Frigga. He'd felt her mental touch in the nightmare that had followed him from Svartalfheim, but he wanted to feel her touch on his hair again. And if it made him weak and childish, so be it. She was right there, somewhere in the palace, so close to him…

" _Back_?" Munin asked.

He tightened his fingers on the scepter, feeling the pressure of Thanos' mind was distant, here, where Asgard's shields and strength were greater. And though he wanted nothing more at that moment than to fall right into his mother's gardens and sleep there for a year, he nodded.

"Back to Midgard."

Munin opened his portal and Loki shoved it wider, struggling to pull it open with all the power he could control. Not sure whether he was going to slip through, he clutched the scepter and let himself fall.

* * *

tbc.... 

 

 


	22. Essence

Sigyn had never seen gardens like those in Asgard. Svartalfheim had cultivation, but little use for anything that had only a decorative purpose. To see so much flowing water and flowers that weren't edible was astonishing and beautiful but also gave her a sense of waste. They had so much of everything in Asgard.

The rooms given to her in the palace were likewise outlandish. Even as a princess of Svartalfheim she'd had but one room to herself and shared a bath with others. Here, not only had she an extravagantly large bed chamber with an open window with a view of the city and the mountains beyond, but she also had a bath larger than a bed in a separate room nearly as large as the bed chamber, for her alone to use.

The halls were vast, too, and the great throne room was a sight to behold, making a mockery of her father's seat that she had once thought so grand. Everything was so open, she found herself clutching her cloak around herself as if to make herself smaller. She straightened and let go, telling herself to stop being such a cave mouse.

But she could not complain of the welcome or the kindness, especially of the queen, who took her into her household without hesitation. Sigyn had wondered whether she would be left behind on Jotunheim with the other temporary allies, but the only one Frigga had bid farewell had been Skadi.

Frigga had promised Skadi that she would tell Loki about his birth mother, and she had carefully _not_ promised to bring him to Jotunheim. But looking toward the ice forms he'd made and the power that lingered there, Sigyn had thought he would return. Such perfection of alignment was rare, and if it felt like a a balm to her senses, he would experience it even more deeply. Though she had also seen how much he loathed his true form, so perhaps it would not be soon or easy. Her own true form was difficult to bear, walking on Asgard with it, but she was aware that her Svartalfen guise would have looked more strange to them.

Frigga invited her to her garden and it was a beautiful day – of course it was, there seemed no bad days in Asgard – and Sigyn wandered among the flowers while the queen tended her plants.

A strange sense brushed her, awareness of new power making seidr shiver, and she looked up, as at the same time that Frigga also looked up.

A bright flash of a portal high in the sky and a moment later, another of a departure.

Frigga wasn't alarmed when Sigyn looked at her; instead, she was smiling. In answer to Sigyn's look, she explained, "Loki. Using Munin's portals. Somehow." She gave a soft laugh, shaking her head in rueful amusement. "Always he treats limits as if they are something for others." She reached out and her fingers touched a strange waxy gray flower topping a single straight stalk with few leaves; it had none of the softness of the flowers around it, looking as if it belonged in a harsher garden, not one so lush.

Sigyn glanced up again, but of course he was gone. "And thank the fates he is well enough to do such things." She wished he could have stayed a little while and taken some rest here. Impulsively she turned to Frigga. "What can we do to help him against Thanos? There must be more. You and I have skill of our own, surely there is something we could do."

Frigga hesitated, and her eyes, normally so kind, regarded Sigyn with the somber judgment of a queen, weighing Sigyn's intent and her skill. She had done the same at the Observatory when they had arrived, when Sigyn had volunteered to go to Midgard to help Loki. In the end the queen had sent Sif, because Sif was more familiar with Midgard and they with her, but surely she could not deny Sigyn an opportunity to do more than sit in this beautiful place and do nothing.

"What do you know of the Infinity Stones, Sigyn?"

The question was a surprise. "Little more than any child in the Nine Realms," Sigyn admitted. "The Celestials made them and scattered them, Thanos found them, there was terrible war and they were scattered again. I know the tesseract was found and is here, and the others are hidden."

"Not all of them," Frigga answered. "Thanos possesses one already." With a final touch of the strange flower, she turned. "Follow me to the archives, and I will set Wulfgar the task of finding texts about the gems for you to read so you will know what we may yet face."

Reading dusty tomes was not what she'd had in mind, but at least it was a start.

* * *

 

Tony had seen a lot of strange things since becoming Iron Man. A lot. And most of them had involved the guy in the black and green outfit plummeting through the sky, talking rather nonchalantly about how he was going to be fine falling into water from twenty thousand feet up, but not if the Helicarrier fell on him.

Tony put on the thrusters to grab him out of the sky. He was almost there, on target, three meters out, close enough to see the scepter's blue stone glowing like a small star, when the air rippled, tore open and swallowed Loki. For a moment, there was an opening that led to something empty, and Tony remembered…

 _Nothingness_ …

His heart skipped a painful beat and he twisted to the side frantically, to avoid the closing portal. "Oh crap!"

Over his comm he heard Thor's voice frantic, " _Loki! Loki! Man of Iron, do you have him_?"

Tony righted himself in the sky, panting before he managed to find his voice again. "That would be a no. He got through the portal."

There was a brief silence. " _He is well, I am certain_." Thor declared, as if saying it firmly would make it true. " _He will find his way back to us_."

"Well, yeah, of course," Tony said. "Who wouldn't want to come back here to fight Thanos instead of doing tequila shots in Bali?"

Rather stiffly Thor replied, " _I do not know this Bali, but I assure you_ \--"

Tony cut him off, "Just a joke, Hammer Bro. Barton, open the back, I'm coming aboard."

He landed on the platform and punched the ramp closed before folding back the helmet. As they'd thought, it was cramped with all of them inside. Romanoff and Barton were in the forward seats, though Barton was turned around to watch. Bruce kept himself small against the bulkhead. Steve was flat on his back, held beneath Mjolnir, with Sif and Thor crouched beside him.

Tony looked down at him, grimacing. "How's Popsicle?"

Steve's eyes open, and his eyes were blue. It was a brighter blue than they should be, and Tony realized that was what he'd seen in Maria's eyes as well. He briefly wondered what caused the effect before turning his attention back to his friend.

Steve glowered. "You will kneel before his might. You will see true defeat before the might of Thanos the Eternal, true emperor of the Universe, lord of the dead, king--"

Sif slapped a hand over his mouth. "Silence." She raised her brows at Thor. "This raving… We need to cure him."

"Nat hit me on the head," Clint suggested and his brow wrinkled in thought. "Though… I don't think it was quite the same. I don't remember anything about Thanos."

"No," Thor agreed. "Loki himself did not know Thanos was involved then. It was hidden from him. So that need to keep Thanos out of his conscious awareness, buffered you from the full impact of the thrall."

Clint swallowed hard and shook his head. "So it could have been worse? Is that what you're saying?"

Carefully, Thor answered, "I do not know, Clint Barton, whether it would have been _worse_. I understand that the experience was unpleasant and difficult for you, and I will assure you that Loki is troubled by all he did here on this world, though he will likely never tell you so. However, I can tell you that no simple clout to the head would remove Thanos and the power he uses to impact the minds of those around him. Odin Allfather had to hold Loki on the edge of death itself, his blood pooling on the floor from a wound he had torn open on himself to keep from doing Thanos' bidding, to free him from that fell influence."

Tony's imagination supplied the image, and shivered to think that would be necessary again. "Is that what we have to do to fix him?"

Rogers' head snapped to the side, out from under Sif's hand, and he hissed at them, "This world will burn; my master will pile the dead on the living and their souls--"

Sif tightened her grip silencing him. "First we need to gag him, because that is irritating."

"And wrong," Banner added. "Steve would never say such things."

"Back to the yacht," Romanoff decided. "We need to regroup."

Tony addressed JARVIS outloud, "Is there another portal, JARVIS?"

" _No, sir. I scan no anomalies within range_."

Tony grimaced, wishing he'd heard something else. "I thought Loki might return here, but there's nothing. How's the Helicarrier?"

" _In the water_ ," JARVIS reported. " _Hull and structural integrity remain intact_."

"Should I notify Director Fury to quarantine it?" Romanoff asked. "Another ship might run across them. Are they safe with the scepter away, or are they still controlled?"

Tony looked down at Steve's hatefully glowing cobalt eyes. "Given Capsicle here, I'm thinking still controlled. We don't want them to spread out, even if they can't make more. Got enough problems with three jets away." One of his tasks and he'd blown it. Whatever those zombies did now was on him for not keeping them contained. Damn it. He heaved a sigh. "What the hell did we do to deserve all this?"

Thor answered the question, though surely he knew Tony had meant it rhetorically. "When your people awoke the tesseract, you sent a signal across the universe. Did you think that would attract no notice?"

"Well, yeah, because we didn't think anyone was actually _listening_ ," Tony grumbled. "We didn't know there were aliens, you know. Until you dropped in."

"There have been other beings here for thousands of years, Tony Stark. I am not an expert on Midgardian history, but even I know tales of visitors and warriors and attempted conquerors, slipping through Jormungandr and the roots of Yggdrasil to reach this world. The Chitauri were never the first. And I think your SHIELD knows far more about such things than they have admitted."

"Well, ain't that the truth," Tony muttered in agreement. "And it looks like we might be having to deal with another alien, after all. They didn't get the scepter, though God only knows where that's ended up, but we didn't keep them all contained."

"We removed Thanos from his army," Sif said. "That is a victory."

"And lost Steve," Bruce pointed out. "That's not a victory."

"Loki will free him," she answered with a casual certainty. Thor reached across Steve to grip her shoulder in thanks.

"Only if Goatboy finds his way back," Tony said.

"He will," Thor answered, with no doubt at all. Then, he lifted his head to smile up at Tony. "He cares little for beaches."

Tony appreciated the return on his joke, and quipped, "But he loves tequila." That one was a little too true to be funny, and Tony grimaced as soon as he said it. Then he cleared his throat, ready to change the subject.

Fortunately, Romanoff broke in to report, "Coming up on the yacht."

"Is that--" Barton started and then exclaimed in a voice of incredulous yet almost admiration, "Son of a bitch."

"What is it?" Bruce asked.

"Loki's beat us here, looks like. I see him, flat on his back on the foredeck, but he's here," Barton reported. "And that bird's with him."

By the time the jet landed, Loki was there to meet them, on his feet. He was holding the jar of peanuts, feeding himself and Munin who sat on his shoulder. The scepter was not in view.

Thor helped Sif drag Steve onto the deck and put Mjolnir carefully on his chest, before going to embrace Loki roughly and thumping him on the back. "I knew you would return."

"Of course, because I love this Realm so much. Couldn't stay away." His gaze went to Rogers and his lips twisted.

"Where's the scepter? You still have it?" Tony asked.

"I put it into the ARC reactor case. The interference will add to the shield I gave it. We should be safe." He gulped the remainder of whatever was in his cup, and went to kneel at Rogers' side. "Idiot. He should never have been that close to the scepter, nor touched it." He glanced up at Barton and Romanoff. "Next time, if you don't trust me, at least trust Sif. This was almost a disaster because you ignored my advice on who to let near the stone. I may not be in a position to undo your foolishness next time."

Romanoff nodded once in acknowledgment, and Loki looked down at Rogers before waiting to see if Barton agreed.

"Now, let us see how deep Thanos put his claws into you, Rogers," Loki murmured. Rogers ranted inarticulately through one of Stark's silk neckties that he had volunteered to gag Rogers, and the groan rose to a shout as Loki rested his fingertips on Rogers' forehead.

Rogers' eyes filmed over with black emptiness, the blue entirely vanishing, and Loki's lips peeled back from his teeth as he narrowed his eyes in concentration. "Oh, you think to fight me?" Loki murmured. "This one you will not win, Thanos. Not this time."

Rogers' arms and legs flailed, trying to escape even though his torso was still held down by Mjolnir. The black dissolved and the normal blue of Rogers' eyes returned, and Tony started to smile with relief.

But Loki didn't stop. As Rogers' eyes opened wide and he yelled something through his gag, something which sounded both pleading and desperate, panting for breath, and it turned into a scream of agony.

"Let him go!" Bruce commanded and started forward to forcibly remove Loki from Rogers. "He's free now, look at him, you did it! You're hurting him!"

Loki ignored him, staring down into Rogers' face, through it and inside.

Barton spoke, watching tensely, "No. Bruce, wait. It's not done."

And because Barton, usually the first among them to be suspicious and hostile, said to wait, Bruce stopped, watching uneasily as Steve screamed some more, as if Loki had set him on fire. Loki's hand started to tremble against Rogers' skin, as his voice became more audible chanting something under his breath.

Tony heard him; he heard each word in the strange language distinctly. He knew he heard them, but the next word seemed to erase the one he'd just heard. He could remember none of them, as they slipped right out of his head. And he saw by the frowning and blinking on his friends' faces that they were similarly perplexed, that they heard Loki speak but the words did not stick.

But Barton was proved right, as the darkness formed in Steve's eyes again and the screams stopped. He glared hatefully at Loki.

Loki's voice grew louder, commanding, and he pulled his hands slowly away, drawing something up with him, right out of Steve's eyes. Tendrils like crude oil, shiny and foul, flowed upward. It was strange stuff, so dark it seemed to pull light to it, as if it was casting them all in shadow despite the bright sun overhead.

Tony knew he wasn't the only one staring. "Ew."

Thor offered urgently, "Loki! Send it above and I will strike with lightning."

Making no verbal acknowledgment, he nonetheless heard and agreed, turning his hand over to send the tendril higher to form a writhing sphere of darkness like the void of space come alive.

"Now," Loki ordered, through clenched jaw, keeping one hand pointed at it.

Thor didn't wait, grabbing Mjolnir again and raising it high, to call the lightning from the sky to strike the foulness. It pulsed once, brightly, and was gone.

Loki let out a breath of relief, slumping, while on the deck, Steve blinked, looking dazed but conscious.

"Is it done?" Bruce asked, reaching to remove Rogers' gag but hesitating to ask Loki, who gestured him tiredly to proceed. Sif let go of him, as Bruce pulled the silk away.

Everyone else was quiet. "I've been kind of… skeptical about the 'magic' thing," Stark said, "but. Holy shit. That was, um, I don't even know what that was. What was that?"

Loki stirred, straightening and tucking his loose hair behind one ear. "That was Thanos' essence, filtered through the scepter." He cocked his head to regard Steve, who was looking more alert. "How do you feel?"

"Like I've been underwater," he answered. "I couldn't breathe, couldn't think. The real world - all of you - seemed so far away. It felt like it lasted an eternity."

Loki told him. "There may be some lingering effects, dreams and such, but you're free." He shifted his weight to prepare to stand up.

Rogers grabbed at him, catching his arm-guard of his left hand. "Thank you."

Loki's eyes flicked away and he said curtly, "Next time, don't touch things I tell you not to touch." He climbed to his feet, heading to the edge of the platform to look out at the open ocean. Munin landed on his padded shoulder again as Loki took out the peanut jar again from wherever he'd hidden it.

Natasha knelt at Steve's side with a first aid kit from the quinjet. "Let me see that hand."

Which was the first time Tony had noticed Steve was injured, and lifted his eyebrows. "It'll heal." Steve shrugged. He glanced around and scrubbed his other hand through his hair. "Did anyone grab my shield?"

"I retrieved it," Sif said with a nod to where it leaned against the bar.

"Thanks." He didn't protest as Natasha wrapped gauze around his injured wrist and arm.

Tony approached Loki. "Is that the only way to free all those on the carrier?"

A shudder passed through him at the idea. "I think not," he answered eventually. "Agent Hill for certain, because she held the scepter, but the others are lighter thralls. The woman whose mind I touched briefly... I did not sense the same depth there."

"So how do we free them?" Tony persisted. "There's two hundred fifty people on that carrier."

Loki scrubbed his free hand through his hair, pushing it back from his face while the wind whipped at it. "I will ponder. It is a general rule that the more minds a spell must touch, the less delicate it must be. It would be simple to free them all and leave them as drooling husks, but I think you mortals would not appreciate the effort."

Tony grimaced. "Probably not, no. Well, take your time to think about it. We're going to leave them out here in quarantine for now."

Eyes closing and shoulders slumping in relief, Loki looked mournfully into his empty cup, and Tony realized he wasn't looking forward to dealing with that Thanos 'essence' again. Had it felt like having Thanos back in his head again? "You okay?" Tony asked more quietly. "Can't be fun to touch the evil sludge."

"Why do you ask questions to which you already know the answer, Stark?" Loki countered, tone starting out irritated but sliding to weary by the end. Thor noticed and frowned at him.

Tony decided to leave him be and turned to face the others. "So. To sum up our tactical situation: their army's grounded and we took the scepter so they can't make more mindless minions, but a few got away to keep going with the plan. Whatever the hell that is, besides generally make a nuisance of themselves and try to let in Big Bad Boss to ruin everything."

Abruptly Barton turned to Rogers. "Do you know what the plan is?"

Rogers shied back at the question. "Me? How would I know the plan?"

"That stuff was in your mind. I can tell you the plan was always in my brain. Hell, it still is." His hand was tight on the arm of the chair, but he was otherwise calm. "So is it in yours? What are they doing? Where are they going?"

"I don't know," Steve said, leaning back and shaking his head. "I don't know anything, it was just… this weight on top of my thoughts… There's nothing…"

But Natasha must have seen something in his face, because her hand laid on his knee. "Steve." When his eyes lifted to meet hers, she said, "There's something, isn't there?"

He shook his head again, but more obviously in denial. "No, I don't know anything." He lurched to the side, hand on the wing of the quinjet, breathing hard.

Natasha followed him, gesturing with a palm upward to keep the others back. Setting that hand on his upper back, she murmured, "Steve, you're free of it. It can't hurt you now."

He barked a laugh. "You wouldn't say that, if you felt it."

"We need to know," she insisted gently. "Anything you know."

"I don't-- I can't."

"Close your eyes," she urged. "Close your eyes and listen to my voice. Just listen, concentrate on my words, on the sense that I'm right here. I'm right beside you. Your friends are here with you. You're safe. You can relax. Inhale deeply, and exhale. Inhale, exhale." She coaxed him by example into more calm, and asked in the same calm voice, "Now let your mind go back. Where are they going?"

"I don't know," he answered more calmly.

"What did you see? Or sense?"

"Pictures. A rock floating in space," he murmured. "The tesseract. Sand, like a beach. And…"

"And?"

"A man," Steve whispered, and trembled. His hands seized the railing. "Not a man, alien. So terrible, power and evil and huge… and his eyes… his eyes see me!" he blurted and shoved himself away so forcefully he fell backward to the deck, panting.

Dismayed the others exchanged glances, but Thor was not surprised. "Thanos."

"Rock floating in space?" Banner repeated. "Like, a moon? What does that mean?"

Loki's voice interrupted, as he emerged from around the nose of the jet. "It is Thanos' base. Known as Sanctuary, it is a collection of asteroids floating in the nothing beyond Jormungandr. That was what the portal connected to, both in the bunker facility and New York."

"Is that where the Chitauri were from?" Tony asked.

"No, he gathered the force there, but no life is indigenous to Sanctuary. It is sanctuary only to _him_ , no one else. It is barren and grim, and stands quite low on the list of places I wish to revisit," Loki said with quiet, biting sarcasm.

Tony had a feeling he had seen that place in a memory he didn't want. "So, the tesseract's obvious - that's what he wants. A beach?"

Loki shrugged. "No beaches on Sanctuary."

"Plenty of beaches east of us," Clint suggested. "Islands, North Africa, Black Sea... Could be anywhere. Anything more, Cap?"

Steve shook his head. "Sorry, that's all. Just sand. And it was like swimming in a sewer just to get that."

Which was disappointing, but not surprising that Thanos wouldn't be considerate about giving them the whole plan in advance. "Well, go take a rest, Capsicle. Hopefully JARVIS will trace the quinjets that got away, and we'll find them. Meanwhile, we keep heading east."

* * *

tbc... 


	23. Puzzles

Loki didn't want to interact with anyone, but after an hour of solitude, he found himself stuck in ever-tightening spirals of dread about Thanos. He needed something else to think about. And something else to drink.

Inside the hatch of the main cabin, he headed for the bar to find the next-least-objectionable thing to drink.

"You know it's, like, ten in the morning, right?" Barton asked.

"I do, in fact, know that. With far more accuracy than you." Not that Loki cared what time of day it was nor Barton's disapproval. He held up the pink aerated wine to look at it. Surely it couldn't be that bad....

Stark saw. "Don't do it, I'm warning you. That stuff is poison."

"Then clearly I should give it to everyone else and have your boat to myself," Loki retorted. He popped off the cork, now determined to see if it really was terrible or Stark was exaggerating, and poured some into a glass where it bubbled eagerly.

He nearly spat it out again once he had some in his mouth, gagging on the combination of sugar and strongly metallic aftertaste. Coughing, he forced himself to swallow it instead of spitting it out.

Stark folded his arms and looked smug. "Told you so."

"Why do you even have that abomination?" he demanded, wiping his lips and setting the bottle down on the counter, never intending to touch it again. "I thought mortal liquor was bad enough, but that potion you give only to enemies." He found an open bottle of rum in the back; it looked old, but he figured that had to be better. "Do you have books, Stark? I am dreadfully bored."

"Oh no," Sif teased, "that's a threat."

Loki considered retorting something, but decided she was right; it was a threat.

Tony picked up a flat device off the computer station and put it down in front of Loki. "StarkPad, all the books Reindeer Smurf could want on there." Loki glowered at him for the nickname, but Tony seemed not to notice, reconsidering different words, "Well, Earth books. No alien books. Not yet. But if you can get me access I'd be happy to add them."

"I can help you, if you like," Rogers offered. "They taught me how to use the pad."

Loki stiffened in offense. "It is primitive; I can manage." Loki grabbed the pad and his bottle and retreated to the bedchamber and shut the door.

"We rest?" Munin asked, launching from his shoulder to sweep once around the room before landing on the bed.

"No. They try my patience most severely." He threw himself on the bed, sighing. And all right, he could probably use a rest, as it felt good to lie down. But there was no time for that. He had to figure out Thanos' next plan.

He straightened again and put his back to the head board. Munin hopped into his lap, and Loki stroked the smooth feathers, musing aloud, "I have the scepter. The tesseract and gauntlet remain in Asgard. He still wants to cross Jormungandr, so what is the next best step to create a portal? His minions need power and someone to help them build a portal. Presuming Fury has locked down Selvig and Foster into safety, who else is there?" He addressed the machine consciousness of the craft, figuring Stark was probably doing the same outside, but Loki wanted to pursue his own path. "JARVIS, are there any reports of physics experts going missing in the last two days?"

" _Physicists_?" JARVIS repeated. " _Any other parameters? That is quite a large number world-wide_."

"Anyone who might be helpful to a mad titan attempting to build a cross-dimensional portal into this world," Loki snapped irritably. "I don't know what parameters they used to look for such a person, or if one exists at all. But I am attempting to narrow down how much help he has on this side."

" _Searching_ ," JARVIS answered.

Loki petted Munin. "Thanos himself is not enough of a technician of this primitive world to be able to send through the plans himself. That was what we wanted Selvig for the first time. Sufficient knowledge.  And advanced power, which this world does not possess."

"The Casket," Munin said, his voice sleepy.

"He couldn't force me to let him in, in Svartalfheim; he can't do it here. And it is bound to me more tightly than Mjolnir is to Thor now. No, that power source will not avail him."

" _I find no records of any one of sufficient skill reported as missing_ ," JARVIS answered.

"Keep an eye on it," Loki ordered. "Maybe it just hasn't happened yet. He needs someone to help. But if no Midgardian scientist, how does he open a portal? He went through all this plan to weaken Jormungandr to allow an easier passage. But now his thralls have lost the scepter. What will he do?"

Munin put his head on Loki's leg before tucking it beneath his wing. "Rest, cub. You did enough for this day."

Loki stopped thinking aloud to let Munin sleep, but his mind would not stop worrying at the problem. Thanos had another plan. This was not a victory, only a pause; Loki ordinarily would not claim foresight as one of his gifts, but this time he knew it. They had not won anything but a respite. There was something else in motion, he could sense it.

But after a few swallows of rum, he decided a distraction was in order, instead of this fruitless speculation. Perhaps the others would trace the escaped quinjets or JARVIS would learn about a stolen scientist.

In the meantime, he would examine the data retrieval device and find other things to read.

* * *

 

After lunch they were watching _The Fellowship of the Ring_ , because how else were they going to entertain themselves on a boat for an endless cruise across the ocean except the extended cut? Barton had insisted on popcorn, and with the lowering of the blinds, the main cabin became a theater. Romanoff had already seen the film, and she only gave him an enigmatic smile in answer to his surprise. She was a superspy assassin, didn't she have better things to do than watch fantasy movies, like learn languages or practice garroting? Thor and Sif didn't seem to understand they were supposed to be quiet, and they criticized the dwarves and the battle choreography until Tony wanted to tell them it was just a movie already.

Bruce was happy to watch and got a soft smile on his face when Arwen showed up, and Tony was about to rib him about having a crush on her, when the forward hatch opened, letting in light from the hall, and Loki ducked inside, waving his StarkPad. "Stark, I need a bigger display," he announced loudly, without any respect for the movie at all.

"Go away." Barton picked up the wooden elephant from the end table and hurled at Loki, who didn't look at it as he caught it and threw it back.

It occurred to Tony that he should make the two of them play ping-pong just for the hilarity of it.

He wanted to stay and watch the others watching the movie, but since Loki would make a pest of himself until he got what he wanted, Tony heaved a sigh and got up to deal with it.

"Fine. This way."

He led Loki down the narrow steps to the deck beneath the common room. A small space, with only a few narrow windows above the waterline, it was in a sense the true heart of the ship. The central table was packed with Stark tech and JARVIS operated the ship from the server bays beneath the floorboards.

"Here you go. JARVIS, put whatever he was looking at on display."

Expecting maybe a painting or video Loki might want to look at large, he was a bit nonplussed as several pages of information rose up in the holographic display. It looked like a collection of very dry reports and papers.

"What's this?" Tony asked, peering at it curiously.

"Information you gathered from the Helicarrier," Loki answered, not taking his eyes from it. Tony took a step forward to demonstrate how to use the holographic display, but Loki raised his hands and flicked them as if he knew exactly what to do.

"Really? Why? There was a lot, and most of it was boring." He shrugged. "I didn't look into it much."

"I think you should have. There is something here, hiding in the tall grass. But I will flush it out." Loki peered closely at the different displays, shifting some of it with impatient gestures, shrinking some of it and sending it to new places, so quickly Tony couldn't see what he had been working with. It was, he thought with a spark of humor, rather like watching himself work.

"You, uh, need anything else?" Tony asked and was not surprised to get an absent wave of the hand to excuse him from the room.

After the movie finished, he followed Thor back downstairs to check on Loki. The entire room filled with datapoints in a glowing, multicolor web and Loki stood in the center, eyes flicking around, reading things in multiple languages, including things he must've written himself since there were weird symbols glowing in mid-air. It all looked chaotic to Tony from the doorway. "What the hell are you doing?"

Thor offered cheerfully, "Loki, there is food--" The door slammed itself in their face, making Tony jump back in surprise. How the hell? Loki hadn't even looked at the door.

Thor did not seem surprised or offended, merely amused, as he turned his head toward Tony. "He does not appreciate interruption."

Tony snorted. "I gathered." And it wasn't like he didn't get that kind of focus, because he did it too, but whatever Loki was looking at wasn't science. So Tony had no idea what could possibly be so interesting.

"Still, I will wait only another hour," Thor called loudly through the door, "Then pull you forth to eat something."

Something banged into the opposite side of the door, in an obvious 'get lost' signal. Tony chuckled.

"JARVIS, what's he looking at? What is all this for?" Tony asked curiously.

" _He has not stated his goal, sir. But he has retrieved numerous records of historical significance, and seems far afield from any connection to the material he was looking at earlier_."

"The last time I saw this mood he was searching methods to kill Thanos," Thor said with a thoughtful glance back at the door. "What could he have found of such intrigue?"

Tony frowned. "In SHIELD records?... Beats me. At least he's out of the way. Come on, it's either Dance Party break, or they're taking the hobbits to Isengard."

* * *

 

Only a few minutes after _The Two Towers_ finished JARVIS murmured, " _Loki requests your presence below, sir_."

Tony doubted those were the exact words, but curious about what Loki wanted and eager to escape the argument about the changes from page to screen, he went back below to find the door open. Standing on the threshold, he watched as Loki circled the table with his gaze fixed on the data he was arranging. "Enter," he invited, with a quick flick of his fingers to gesture Tony inside. "I have something to share with you." As soon as Tony was out of the way, the door closed behind him.

There seemed more organization, despite more information in the display, connected together by runes and glowing lines. "So, you found what you were looking for?"

"I did."

"Which is? What the hell is all this?"

Loki folded his arms and regarded his product. "There is a children's game on Asgard. All the stones of a mosaic need to be replaced in their proper spots to create an image."

"Like a puzzle."

"A puzzle, yes. This - " he gestured to the information above him, "is a puzzle. I have put the stones in their places."

Tony looked at the displays, but whatever Loki had found wasn't obvious. "So what's the picture on the box?" Tony asked.

Loki flicked an irritated glance at him for the slang, but gathered enough of the meaning to answer, "It is a pattern, more than a picture."

"You see a pattern in all that? JARVIS?"

" _There is no discernible pattern_ ," JARVIS disagreed.

Instead of disagreeing, Loki smiled. "Of course not, because you are looking for a pattern in the data itself, but that is not where it is. And you are mortal, or programmed by a mortal, and mortals have a poor understanding of time."

Since he didn't have a poor understanding of anything, Tony turned his gaze back to the display, trying to find it. Events, spread over decades, black box projects, assassinations, technical gains... But he didn't see it. This was a puzzle with all the pieces dropped on the floor. "I see SHIELD projects, going back to the very beginning, and a lot of other random events…"

"No, that is what it is meant to be, but that is not what it _is_." Loki paused, tightened his hands into fists, and looked for other words to explain. "You were all certain that I was wrong, so sure in your ideals of liberty and justice that it blinded you to the truth. Yet it seemed so obvious to me, and it was not because of Thanos that I saw it. And now I know, I was not wrong that your Realm seeks a ruler to bring it under control; my error was in believing it is your natural state. Your world wants rule, because it has been _designed_ that way. This," he pointed to the information, circling his hand to indicate all of it, "is design. Not accident."

"What?" Tony asked, dumbfounded. "What are you saying? This is someone's plan? SHIELD's? But no, they're the good guys – they don't want this—" But his voice dried up and his stomach was leaden, because he remembered a nuclear weapon sent at New York, supposedly to kill the person standing in front of him now but sent without consideration of the million others it would kill. A bomb sent by SHIELD's bosses, which even if it had ended the invasion and killed Loki, would have done more damage and killed more people than the invasion itself. They'd said they lacked faith in the Avengers, but even if that were true, why hadn't they given the military time to do something? Rhodey had been furious when Tony had told him everything that had gone down. "Do they?"

"No, not SHIELD," Loki answered, giving Tony one second of relief, until he added, "Or I should say, not all of it. They are involved, but I think they are the glove, not the hand. You see, the woman on the Helicarrier whom I put to sleep, had a strange word in her head. The same word on the mind on another soldier in the tesseract facility when I first arrived. He was glad to see me, as if I was an answer to something. I thought little of it at the time, but when it emerged again, I thought I should investigate."

"No," Tony whispered. He didn't need Loki to finish, but he did.

Loki reached into the data hologram and pulled out a tile. It flipped around to show a red octopus-like symbol. "Hydra."

But hearing it aloud made him realize how ridiculous it was. Tony snorted and folded his arms. "So your theory is not only did Hydra not die with Red Skull back when Popsicle kicked his ass sixty years ago, but this new Hydra is actively planning to take over the world."

Loki answered with perfect confidence, not at all put on the defensive by the scorn in Tony's voice, "Yes."

"That's nuts," Tony told him, "That's, like, secret conspiracy Roswell aliens coverup bullshit. No way. Dozens, hundreds, of people would have to be involved for this to work like you say. And there is just no possible--"

As Tony was objecting strenuously to this fantasy theory, Loki reached up and plucked another panel out of the cloud. "I know lies, Stark. I know long-term strategy. While I do not know who or what this "Hydra" is, behind the name, you should not doubt there has been a hand orchestrating events. There are far fewer accidents than you believe." He slid the panel to Tony. "I wish it were not so, Anthony."

Hearing his given name, when Loki had yet to call him anything but 'Stark' was strange enough, but the sympathy in his voice sounded genuine.

It was a news clipping from the Times, of his parents' car accident. Tony remembered seeing it; he had the same clipping somewhere from when he had obsessively cut them all out.

"It was no accident," Loki's voice came from far away. "They had to kill him. He found them out."

"No," Tony denied in a voice that came out in a whisper. "You're lying. You're making this up. Playing games."

"I wish I were. But you can look for yourself. They are clever, but not more clever than we are. Each event up close is random chance, but at remove, the pattern shows itself over time." He folded his arms and regarded the display he had made. "When you are an ant, you cannot see; it is only when you stand above, that you see a trail through the high grass."

Tony was still staring at the newspaper clipping and the file that Loki had attached to it: the SHIELD report that it had not been an accident at all. It was a report buried so deep even their son was not told. Murdered. They had been murdered.

Loki headed for the door, making an exit, when Tony's voice – raw and not his own – stopped him, "The two you know about. Who?"

"Greg Tillman," Loki answered. "He was with Barton in the raid on the Helicarrier, but did not leave with us. I do not know his fate. And her name is Monica Mason."

Tony filed the names away and hoped they were both dead, but had to take it back. It would be easier to investigate alive traitors. "Hydra. Fucking Nazi scum. Does Barton know? Is he a part of it?"

"No. I would have seen it in his mind, too."

"Well, at least mind control has a use after all," Tony muttered. "So, shit. What do we do about this?"

"I think it is not my place to determine that, Stark. I am here to eliminate a different threat. But when that is accomplished, you and your allies will have much to do."

Thanos. Great. "We have to tell the others about Hydra."

"It is a distraction," Loki warned. "Not wise."

"So why the hell did you tell me?" Tony demanded. "You lay on me that my parents were murdered, and the organization that, sure, I thought SHIELD was sketchy and I don't like them, but I didn't think it was full of _Nazis_ – and now you're worried about distraction?"

Loki appeared at a loss for words, as if he had no idea how to respond to Tony's tirade. "I have some experience with well-meaning people hiding the truth from those who most deserve to know. If it was in error, I will not repeat it," he said stiffly, and put his hand on the door.

That reached through Tony's upset, understanding Loki had meant well by telling him. He'd actually tried to do something _right_ , and now Tony was haranguing him for it. He blurted, "No, wait, I-- You were right. Thank you for telling me. I mean, not that I know what to do with this; hell, why does it even matter how they died? It's not like I didn't know they were dead."

Loki released the door handle and turned back. "It matters because your father was not responsible. He did not handle the vehicle carelessly; he was targeted and killed."

"Not much for the softening the blow, are you?" Hearing the words so bluntly hurt, but in a way, it was good because it cut through the fog. "God, this is a nightmare," Tony muttered and shoved a hand through his hair.

"Shall I send someone to you?" Loki asked. "Banner, perhaps?"

The slightly helpless tone in his voice, a reminder that immortals were poorly equipped for handling mortal grief, roused Tony. He tried to focus on the bigger picture, outside of himself. "No, no, I'm okay." Loki's expression was skeptical, but he didn't try to argue. Tony glanced at the web of information – of _lies_ – hanging in the room and flicked the Stark panel back into the cluster. Big picture, he told himself again.

That reminded him. "No, distraction or not, we have to tell the others. If you and I get killed against Thanos, no one will know what you found. And someone's gotta root this out."

JARVIS murmured, " _Sir, correction: I know. And if you died without instruction, I would give this information to Miss Potts and Colonel Rhodes_."

"Oh yes, well reasoned, JARVIS." But wow did he not want to leave Pepper and Rhodey with the task of trying to clean up SHIELD. As outsiders, their access would be limited, and these people had already murdered the Starks to cover their tracks. "Keep that as our backup. But we tell the others. Spangles should know." He sighed, wishing he could keep this quiet, and asked Loki, "Do you know how widespread it is?"

"No. But you said it yourself-- there must be tens, perhaps hundreds, of people involved. Someone must be high in SHIELD, and likely the government and military as well, high enough to have the power to bury some of this." His gaze flicked to the hanging clusters of information with a frown. "There are some actions which seem contradictory, so control may not be fully centralized."

"If it's secret and long term, it's gotta be compartmentalized, so that makes sense. Not Barton, but what about Romanoff?"

"She has been their tool," Loki allowed, "but her loyalty is given most to Barton, so I think not."

"But high in SHIELD… Fury?"

Loki considered that, looking up at the data he'd sorted, before finally admitting, "As much as I would like to say yes, because he irritates me, I know for certain only that he could not have achieved what he has without being of use to them. But… being of use is not the same as being a willing ally."

Tony had to agree with that assessment. "He does like his secrets, that's for sure." He heaved a sigh and waved at the data display. "Any more surprises?"

"Probably, but no more I have found." Then dryly Loki asked, "Is this not enough?"

Tony was about to flip back some light retort but reconsidered. Just as Loki had found the pattern in Hydra's actions, the pattern of Loki's was just as plain. "You know what? You're working on it."

Loki frowned. "'Working on' what?"

"Making up for what you did. That's what this is about, isn't it?" Tony asked, gesturing to the web of data hanging above them.

Loki rolled his eyes. "I was bored. Ascribe no other motive to me."

"Oh, come on, if you were that bad you'd have taken over HYDRA for yourself. Instead you give me enough to take them down, including _incentive_ ," he pointed to the slide containing the information on his parents. "This is what we were talking about, doing the right thing."

Loki seemed amused and gave a chuckle. "Maybe I don't want other people ruling Midgard when it belongs to me."

Tony snorted. "Ri-iiight. That was full of conviction. Wanna try again? With more oomph this time? Drop a little threat maybe? Because I think you're full of shit." His eyes held Loki's and Loki was the first to break, turning away.

"You can think whatever you like," Loki said. "That doesn't make it true. I am not 'making up' for anything – there are no cosmic scales. There is only the present and the future; the past is written."

"Yeah, true. But that doesn't mean you can't turn over a new leaf. I did." Loki glanced back at him, curious, so Tony explained with a wave at the web above their heads. "How much of that was done with Stark Industries weapons? I'll tell you: a lot. Cuz my old man never had a problem with making things, no matter what they did. Neither did I, not until I saw it up close and personal." He tapped the hard shell embedded in his chest for emphasis. "And then, I made a change. Became Iron Man. You can, too."

Loki's lips made a smile, brightening his eyes with a flash of humor. "I think one Iron Man is enough for Midgard. And red is not my color."

Tony had to chuckle at that willful misunderstanding and shook his head. "I can make you a suit in green. It'd look good _and_ you could fly."

He dangled the possibility in front of Loki and saw the temptation flit through those expressive eyes, before Loki shook his head to decline the offer. "Another time, Stark. Do with this," he gestured to the information, "what you will."

He slipped out the door, leaving Tony staring at the display he'd left behind, his smile fading at the sight. He swallowed. "JARVIS, do you think it's true? Hydra infiltrated SHIELD, with some plan to destabilize the world and then take it over?"

" _I cannot confirm, sir. He made several connections that I cannot verify_."

"Not the one about my parents, though."

JARVIS waited a beat before answering, his tone a bit more subdued. " _No, sir. The data is supported there_."

Murdered. Because Howard had found out about Hydra still existing, and now there were at least two of them buried in SHIELD. And where there was one cockroach in the open, there were ten more in the walls.

But they didn't know he knew. He swept the cluster into its own file and started a new one.

"JARVIS, I want everything on those two rats Loki identified." Two photos promptly appeared: Greg Tillman and Monica Mason. Hydra traitors. "Get everything about them. Their associates. Phone records, emails. Their freaking Tinder profiles. Everything you can dig up so we can look for connections to their traitor friends. Because we're going to start rooting these bastards out before they know we're looking."

" _Understood, sir_."

With heavy heart, Tony turned to go upstairs and deliver the bad news to the rest of the team that their beloved SHIELD was infested and, assuming they didn't all die fighting Thanos, they'd have to fumigate.

* * *

... tbc... 


	24. A scourge of serpents

* * *

Thor was glad when Loki finally emerged from his study. "All is well?"

He expected reassurance, not for Loki's gaze flick to their companions and settle on Rogers. Loki didn't attempt a smile, only a half-shrug, and headed to the galley. "I will leave it to Stark to explain what I found," he said. "I intend to eat."

Thor frowned at his brother's back. He had found _something_ in that data that bothered him. But why he would avoid speaking of it was a puzzle.

Tony entered a few minutes later, seeming even more disturbed than Loki and he didn't talk either, worrying at his lip. "Antlers," he called to Loki, "let's do this."

Empty bowl in hand, Loki re-emerged from the galley. "I thought you should tell them."

"No, we tell them together," Tony answered and gestured for Loki to stand at his side. Setting down his bowl, Loki joined him. Everyone else now aware they had something serious to share and turned expectantly, and Barton muted the television.

Tony did most of the talking, with some elaboration by Loki, telling a tale of how a presumed-dead organization still existed within SHIELD itself and had a hand in violence all around the world. And after denial and discussion, some of it to explain to Thor and Sif what it was they were talking about, the others started to believe it.

Steve slammed out of the room, the most upset by this resurgence of his old enemy.

Barton scrubbed a hand over his face. "I knew Tillman. Damn it. Are you sure?" he asked Loki. "That's a hell of an accusation."

"I am certain those two had allegiance to something called Hydra," Loki stated carefully. "What that _means_ , I do not know. But I can tell you, in his mind, Tillman was glad to see me because my arrival would serve their ends. I ignored it, then, as irrelevant, but clearly it had more import than I knew."

"Well fuck," Barton said, and exchanged a worried glance with Natasha. Thor was pleased they both believed what Loki was saying rather than reflexively refusing to believe it because it was Loki, or because it was news they did not want to know.

Banner nodded, thoughtfully. "The nuke was them, must have been. Cause more destruction, more chaos..."

"To seize control," Tony finished. "Exactly. I have JARVIS digging into their various accounts and phone records and all that, for intel. And we're going to start digging all these traitors out, before they know we're on to them. Then we're gonna hit them so hard, they won't know what happened." There was a vicious tone to his voice that Thor had not yet heard from him, something vengeful and dark.

"But first, Thanos," Sif reminded them. "These mortals are your enemies, I understand that, but they must wait to battle."

Barton rose to his feet, in a restless motion and paced to the window. "We can't trust anyone in SHIELD," he said. "Even if Fury's clean, he answers to people who aren't. And Maria's out of the game."

Natasha shook her head. She was doing a better job of hiding her upset, but Thor could see it in how deliberate her calm was. "But even Hydra can't want alien conquest," Natasha argued. "If it's true they were the ones behind sending the nuclear device at New York, they were trying to stop the invasion, too."

"Stop it? Or make it worse?" Tony countered. "With New York utterly destroyed, the economy would take a hit, there'd be martial law..." he waved an arm, winding up to his conclusion, "they could pass whatever new control laws they wanted. No, that's why they were glad when Loki showed up. It stepped up their fear-mongering time-table. This is just round two of the same. They'll probably try to nuke Thanos and us and whatever else is around for miles."

"Or at least me," Loki suggested dryly. "But if you survive, I do not doubt they will attempt to turn the people against you as well. The last thing these pathetic creatures want is a _hero_ to stand against them." He glanced the way Rogers had gone, and his mouth made a sort of grimace of rueful distaste as if he couldn't believe he was saying it. "Him they will try to destroy first as the least... tarnished of you." A wry chuckle and shake of his head followed with his amusement. "Though surely my presence will tarnish him enough, if this alliance becomes known."

"Well, good thing you're on my boat, then, right?" Tony slapped him on the shoulder, making Loki flick a glare at the offending hand and twitch himself out from under the touch. Tony affected not to notice. "But we'll stop Thanos, and make sure everyone knows you're helping, and the spin becomes Rogers is dragging you to the good, rather than the other way around." He grinned at Loki, with a more than a touch of mischief in his expression. "And you can join the Avengers with the rest of us misfits."

While Barton was shocked by the invitation, Thor noted that both Bruce and Natasha seemed thoughtful. Sif smiled, but knowingly, like Thor awaiting his refusal.

Loki snorted a laugh. "You are persistent, Anthony, but no. I will leave the heroics to those better suited for it."

"Tony. You can call me Tony. I appreciate you've chilled out enough to stop using 'Stark' all the time, but literally nobody else calls me Anthony. It sounds like you're talking to someone else."

"As you wish. Tony." He hesitated before saying it, and Thor knew his trouble – it was not their people's way to make such shortened forms of personal names, and seemed a lack of respect, but Loki pushed out the word.

Tony beamed. "There you go. See, it wasn't so hard."

"No, of course not," Loki agreed stiffly, but went to the far end of the bar and poured himself a new drink, made uncomfortable by what Thor knew he would call _sentiment_ with that sneer in his voice. Eventually Thor hoped he would accept it more easily, as it was offered by these humans. Despite the past, at least these seemed to be his friends – or at least his allies, and that was nothing to sneer at.

Discussion turned back to what to do about Hydra, but lacking knowledge or identification beyond two individuals, there was little to do. Thor thought it likely that once he was rested and fed, Loki would return to ferreting more of these infiltrators out of SHIELD. It would give him a task to keep his mind occupied, away from being consumed by memories or fears. Though it seemed he was bothered again, as Thor noticed the bowl sitting untouched on the bar top. 

But before he could remind Loki that it existed, Sif asked, "Shall I check on Captain Rogers? He has been long alone."

"It's my boat," Tony offered, "my info. I should go."

She shook her head, refusing. "I will offer him to spar, perhaps that will help." She slipped out the hatch.

Tony looked at Thor and then at Loki. "So. Her and Rogers? Getting...." he crossed his two fingers in a gesture of what Thor thought meant coupling, "close?"

"I hope not," Loki muttered loudly enough to be heard, "Their offspring would be intolerable."

Thor nudged him. "Brother."

Loki folded his arms, lips twisting into an unrepentant pout. "It would."

Tony snorted a laugh. "Let's not count our insufferable superhero chicks before they hatch. Unless 'spar' really does mean the same as 'bang' in Asgardian?"

Thor was about to inform him that no, it most certainly did not, but JARVIS interrupted.

" _Excuse me. There is news_."

The mood abruptly turned back somber and anticipatory. The screen illuminated for an image seemed to be of a great fire and lights in the darkness. Natasha snapped straight on hearing the commentary and turned around. "JARVIS, audio up."

She listened to the voice and read the information on the screen.

"What is it?" Tony demanded. "For the Cyrillically challenged?"

"They attacked the Hermitage," she answered curtly. "Two foreign planes bombed the west wing. They're calling it an act of terrorism, right now, but from the description they were almost certainly quinjets."

"Oh shit," Clint breathed in horror, staring at the screen. "That's where they went."

"But why?" Tony demanded. "The Hermitage? That's art, paintings and furniture, Russian history... Why the hell would they attack that?"

They all stared at the television, trying to absorb this new piece of information.

"To start a war?" Bruce suggested. "Can Fury tap dance out of SHIELD committing an act of war on a Russian heritage site, by claiming they were rogue agents?"

Natasha nodded agreement, exchanging a worried glance with Clint. "I doubt the Kremlin is going to be appeased by excuses like that. And it puts defenses on alert against the wrong target."

Loki stood up, arms folded as he watched the screen. "No," he declared. "Starting a war is not his purpose."

"Can't hurt, though, right?" Tony said, with a shrug. "Chaos only hurts the good guys. As you should know."

But Loki ignored the dig, shaking his head. "No, this had another aim. If it is a museum, perhaps they wanted an artifact. JARVIS, are there any artifacts that produce gamma radiation or dark energy kept in the Hermitage facility?"

"Cross reference with the SHIELD database," Tony added.

There was a brief pause, and JARVIS answered, " _There is one, sir. An artifact known as the Sultan's Ruby, emits a small amount of gamma radiation_."

They all looked at Natasha, expecting her to know, and she smiled slightly, gave a shrug, and asked, "Tell us about the ruby, JARVIS."

" _It is listed as a gift to Tsar Pyotr Alekseevich by Sultan Ahmet the Third of the Ottoman Empire on occasion of the peace treaty of 1712. It is a twenty-four point seven carat unfaceted ruby of mediocre quality. It was taken by the Nazis and returned in 1947. It is currently without a setting and displayed in the west wing of the Hermitage with other relics of historical interest_."

Tony snorted. "'Mediocre' ruby? Wow, JARVIS, so judgy."

Bruce meanwhile had been typing into the computer, looking into the more useful information about it. "All SHIELD has is that it emits gamma radiation, more as if it was contaminated by a larger source, than a source itself. If it's a dark energy source, too, they don't know it."

Natasha shook her head. "They wouldn't. Russia is very protective about its artifacts. I'm surprised they know about the gamma radiation."

Bruce paged through some more. "Yeah, it looks like the information came out of the war, actually. Our old friend," he glanced around to make sure Steve wasn't present, "Hydra had it for awhile, did some tests, but then he found the tesseract, and abandoned the ruby." He frowned and asked hesitantly, "Speaking of? Should someone get Steve and Sif? Let them know that we're probably at war with Russia and Hydra may be the least of our problems pretty soon?"

"I'll go," Natasha offered and her lips curled up in a smile. "I can be quiet, in case they're … busy."

She left as Tony called after her, "Was that a joke? Did you just make an actual joke?"

After she was gone, Bruce said, "I don't think any of this is very funny. Russians are mad, and Thanos' minions have a gamma source. And it's too small to track."

"Nah, you're thinking too small, Green Giant. We do what we did before, just more accurate," Tony said, now more serious.

Thor looked to Loki. "If it is so low power will it avail them?"

"It might be all they could find?" Clint suggested, a bit hesitantly, as if his voice might be unwelcome, or he was inviting Loki's scorn.

But Loki had no interest in that, merely shaking his head once slowly, his thoughts elsewhere. "Perhaps it was desperation. But it is too weak to use to open a portal, even as thin as the barrier is. This bodes ill." His gaze went unfocused, staring at the invisible threads of seidr or something else Thor could not sense. "There is a pattern, a plan in motion. I sense that much. This is not his goal, merely a step along the path."

He picked up his glass and hurled it at the wall, where it shattered with a sharp crack that startled them all.

Loki glowered the resulting mess of pulverized glass with narrowed eyes, chest rising for deliberate breaths. "And I am very tired of following two steps behind him," he snarled and stalked out of the room, the hatch slamming shut behind him.

In the wake of his exit, Tony blew out a breath and glanced at Bruce. "You okay there, buddy?"

Bruce held out his hands to display them. "No green. But we gotta get off this boat, Tony, before someone snaps. Preferably not me."

"I think this is wise," Thor agreed with a nod.

"But where do we go?" Clint asked. "Russia? Try to track them from there?"

"I'm sure another quinjet in St Petersburg will go down awesome. When the gang's back together, we'll figure it out," Tony said with a sigh. "Meantime, you and me," he gestured to Bruce and his own chest, "let's see if we can dial up the readings and find the rock."

* * *

 

Loki returned to the area beneath the ship where he had researched Hydra and paced around the central table three times before JARVIS prompted, " _Is there something I may help you with, sir_?"

"No. I'm thinking," he replied shortly. But that wasn't true, because he wan't thinking. He was _reacting_ , which was not the same thing. Thanos had moved again, and he hadn't foreseen it, again. And he was sick of trailing behind like Thanos' dog, waiting for his master to turn around and kick him again. But letting himself get tangled up in his anger and worry wasn't helping anything. "I don't know, perhaps," he answered, inhaling a deep breath and letting it out slowly, so he could try to calm his temper. "The Sultan's ruby. It's the key. Thanos needs a portal, but it's too weak to open one. So why do they want it?'

" _I cannot answer that inquiry, sir, without more information_."

"So let's get that information," Loki decided. "There must be more about it. And if not here, I will return to Asgard and search the Archives there."

JARVIS first illuminated an image of the ruby. It was an unassuming stone, polished, not faceted, and appeared be a deep red.

"Red stones," Loki mused. "I know of one red stone that Thanos would want, but it isn't this. Unless it's an access to that one... But no, that can't be. He already knows where the aether is"

Which he knew from Loki, because Loki had found that out, before he'd fallen into the void. He had no memory of Thanos riffling his mind for his knowledge; in truth, he had no memory of Thanos at all from that time, but he had no doubt that Thanos had learned all his secrets.

He shuddered, and his stomach roiled with an urge to be sick, but he shoved it away, determined to focus on the problem at hand, which was the ruby that Thanos' minions had stolen.

" _In all languages, as before_ ," JARVIS reported, and the air filled with information, tracking the Ruby back, before the sultan had given it to the Russian king.

Loki read the stories about large red stones, briefly amused by more fanciful ones, but growing more confused, as the stone's history continued to track back further than he had expected. It was not only older than he was, it seemed, and somehow, despite its ordinary appearance, had been kept as a precious artifact. It had been in a pharoah's burial hoard, as he tried to take it with him to the afterlife, before being looted out again and traded around for a thousand years of conquest, passing from one rich and powerful hand to the next. Occasionally it went missing from the record, but never lost. Never forgotten, not completely.

"It … lures mortals, somehow," he realized. The gamma signature might be a modern reading of a far more ancient power wound about the stone.

Cursed, perhaps. But to what end? It seemed to have no useful rumors attached to it, nothing about children or wealth-gathering or damage to enemies, or anything that such cursed objects tended to gather. So what did it do? What was it?

But the key didn't come until JARVIS found an account which gave it another name: the Eye of Apep.

"Apep? Who or what was that?" Loki asked.

" _Apep was the Egyptian god of chao_ s," JARVIS answered.

Loki snickered. "Chaos? Really? That sounds like my kind of god."

JARVIS ignored that interjection. " _The enemy of Ra and the truth and light, Apep was depicted in the form of a snake. The name in Ancient Egyptian has been reconstructed as_ \--"

Loki snapped his head up, a cold rush slipping down his spine, and interrupted, "Snake. The form of a snake. Are you certain?"

JARVIS answered politely, but with an edge of offense at Loki's doubt, " _The references are clear, sir_." The AI displayed several drawings or paintings, but Loki didn't look at them.

The hundreds of tiny colored pebbles that had been flying around his head for days suddenly slammed down into their places all around him, and formed the mosaic. He _knew_.

"Apep," he whispered. "Apep the snake. Oh, ancestors, I am so stupid!" he slammed a hand on the table, cracking the smooth surface of the interface. "I was so busy being afraid, I wasn't _thinking_."

He rushed from the room and up the stairs, calling for Munin.

" _Cub_?" Munin asked, alighting on his outstretched arm and cocking his head curiously.

"Munin, go to the Allfather. You must ask him a question for me – ask him, is the Tale of Bor on Midgard true, and is that treasure still here? Go!"

He threw up his arm, to launch Munin into the air to carry his message back to Asgard.

It almost didn't matter what the answer was since Thanos believed the answer was yes. And if the answer truly was yes, the Avengers might already be too late.

 

* * *

... tbc... 

 


	25. A shadow grows

They played rock-paper-scissors to divide up the dinner preparations. Tony was a bit concerned that Thor was one of the ones preparing since by his own admission he rarely cooked anything except things he hunted and put over a fire. And who knew if Rogers could cook anything either, especially after getting his brain put in an oil slick, but Natasha just gave that small smile of hers, and said "I've got it." And pulled them into the galley.

Tony wasn't sure an assassin was going to be any good at cooking either, but since he didn't make any of his own food more complicated than eggs, it couldn't be any worse than his. Which reminded Tony of his passenger who had his own food and was conveniently absenting himself from any possibility of chores. "JARVIS, where's Loki?"

" _He is in the control room, researching the ruby, sir_."

Tony nodded. "Can't hurt, I guess, though nobody knew it was special until recently, so I don't know what more he can find."

Bruce overheard the comments and added thoughtfully, "We don't even know what it is, do we? Is it a ruby at all? Where does it come from? Maybe it's not from Earth."

"If Thanos wants it, it must be from elsewhere," Sif pointed out. She was polishing her blade with slow, methodical care, rubbing a cloth down its length. Tony's gaze followed, mesmerized, and he nearly told her how hot that motion was, but held his tongue, knowing she could skewer him with that blade without breathing hard. She probably didn't need to get up from her seat, and wouldn't that be embarrassing?

To get his mind off that, he suggested, "So if it's alien, maybe it's part of a crashed alien spaceship." Tony warmed to his idea, with growing enthusiasm. "Thanos wants the ship. Or its power source. Maybe the ship's buried somewhere in the Middle East, I mean, why not, right? If you guys," he waved a hand at Sif, "are aliens, then maybe those gods were, too."

"Seriously?" Barton snorted. "That was a movie already, Tony."

Tony shrugged, not bothered by that complaint. "Feathers, you have Norse gods, a dude who was frozen for sixty years and came out looking like that," he jerked a thumb in the direction of the galley, "another dude who turns into a giant green fighting machine on this boat, and you're going to complain about the likelihood that Egyptian gods might've been aliens?"

"I'm just saying--" Barton began.

Until a voice interrupted, from the forward hatch, as Loki announced, "You are both wrong, and I have been a fool, because I should have known all along."

Tony asked, "You know what it is?"

Loki nodded, but his attention went to Sif, and then Thor as his brother emerged from the galley to listen. "You now will have the proof of my stupidity to hold over my head for all eternity. This is about the Infinity Gems."

"The ruby's another one?" Sif guessed, eyes wide.

"No, but--" Loki started until Tony interrupted.

"Back up! What the hell are you talking about?"

"Wait, the others should hear." Barton called, "Nat, Steve!"

Natasha and Steve came out, turning toward Loki when they realized he had something to announce.

Loki glanced at the window, out at the sky, hesitating, before bringing his attention back to them. "I researched the ruby, and I know what it is. And why Thanos wants it." His tone was calm now, not the outburst when he'd first come in, but after the words, he inhaled a breath. "Let me begin at the beginning, so you all might understand what we now face. A long time ago," Loki started.

He left just enough gap for Tony to interject, "In a galaxy far, far away?"

To Tony's surprise, Loki seemed to get the reference as his glare could've cut steel, and he clenched his jaw, not speaking. "If you are _quite_ finished?"

"Sorry, keep going."

"A long time ago, before there were galaxies," Loki corrected precisely, "in the first days of the cosmos, the Celestials distilled the six primal forces of the universe into six… containers. These are known as the Infinity Gems, and they have been the subject of many wars throughout the history of the universe. Jormungandr was placed in part to protect the Nine and the Gems from the rest of the universe and to contain the Gems within." He made a sphere with his hands before letting them open with a deep breath. "You know one Gem: the tesseract. Over time some of the stones have had other relics connected to them, so that a user could access the power more safely. The scepter's stone is one of those, it is an access key to the Mind Gem which Thanos bears.

"And I have just been reading that what what you call the Sultan's Ruby was known in more ancient days as the Eye of Apep. Apep was associated with chaos and an enemy of truth, so you might think it has something to do with me, though I am sure the tales all tangled together at some point. Regardless, the important part is that Apep is … a snake god."

Thor's head snapped up. "The Eye of Jormungandr."

Loki nodded. "Exactly. I believe the Ruby is what we call the Eye of Jormungandr stone. In our histories, the Eye of Jormungandr is known to be an access key to the Soul Gem."

"The Soul Gem?" Sif blurted in dismay.

Tony blinked and then put up a hand . "No, no, 'six primal forces' and one is _soul_." He snickered. "So many jokes for that I don't even know where to start..."

Loki straightened and his unsmiling mouth and cold eyes met Tony's. "The Soul Gem is not a jest. It is very powerful and very dangerous. Souls are sources of potent metaphysical power."

Tony sniffed disdainfully. "Souls? Really?"

Loki glanced at his brother. "It is soul power that allows Thor to wield Mjolnir. Worthiness, purity of intent - these things are of the soul. At the end of everything, when time itself is extinguished, the only energy left in the universe will be soul energy, and that is what empowers a reflowering of existence."

For a moment the poetry of his words let Tony feel a moment of amazement until he realized what that meant in less flowery language. "The Big Bang is caused by souls?" Tony closed his eyes and pinched the bridge of his nose. "Nope, that is way too much goobledeygook astrology for one day."

Loki smirked. "You have such a narrow mind. You should take a lesson from Thor's mortal and widen your horizons past what you believe is possible."

"You praise Jane, brother!" Thor smiled at Loki, who shrugged.

"She seemed someone I should learn about," Loki said, his tone mild, but every single one of them, including Thor by the way his face fell, recalled that the only time he would have wanted to learn about her had likely been for some nefarious purpose.

But Tony didn't really care about that; Foster had been fine, and he was still disgruntled and offended by the tease. "Just because I don't believe in souls, doesn't mean I don't believe in twelve impossible things before breakfast."

"Fortunately for you, your soul does not require your belief in order for it to exist," Loki retorted and added smoothly, "Though mortals have such… tiny ones, it seems rather pointless."

"Hey!" Tony objected, incensed. "There's nothing tiny about my soul, thank you very much!"

Natasha rolled her eyes and taunted them both,"If you two are done measuring the size of your... souls? Could we get to the part about what it does? If the Mind stone can control someone's mind, does that mean the Soul Gem controls someone's soul?"

Loki's amusement evaporated and he wandered to the bar to search for something to drink. Pouring the last of Tony's bourbon, he said, while watching the liquor stream into the highball glass. "There are many stories, but little is known with the Gem lost for so long. It is, at its most simple, a power source and like most, can be used to power other spells. However, its task is to _consume_. To take the soul energy of the living to render them...." His hand waved as he tried to think of the right word.

Steve glanced at the television screen, which had been used not so long ago for the video game, and said, "Zombies."

"Not exactly." Loki shook his head. "They still live, but they are empty. They have no will but that which someone gives them, and they wish for nothing: not food, not even death. And once thus taken, there is no reverse, as far as I know."

"I didn't think there could be anything worse than mind control," Barton said with sour humor. "Should've known better."

"But how could the gem be on Midgard?" Sif asked.

"You know the Tale of Bor on Midgard. Bor, father of Odin, fought against an ancient evil that possessed the Gem. Bor battled the monster--"

Thor nodded eagerly and took up the tale, "Yes, for forty days and nights, they clashed, until at last Bor felled him with a mighty blow of Gungnir."

Loki smiled at him, indulgently. "That is the tale they tell in the halls, yes. That was not how it ended. In the chronicles, Bor battled the evil creature, but could not slay him, so he thrust the creature into a box and locked the box with the Eye of Jormungandr, so that the serpent might keep an eye upon it, and the darkness it contained might never be released." He rubbed a hand over his face. "I believe that means he locked the Soul Gem away, perhaps with whatever poor fool who had wielded it. I sent Munin to the Allfather to see if Bor took it with him and it is hidden elsewhere. But it seems Thanos knows or believes the Gem to be here."

He glanced at Sif and Thor, hesitating, as if to check whether they wanted to add anything, and Thor helpfully declared, "We must keep Thanos from all the Gems. That he possesses one...." He frowned at Loki, "You did not say that before."

"I do not recall seeing it," Loki said. His voice was smooth as melted butter, but Tony noticed his hand was shaking enough the whiskey in the glass had some wave action. "But once I identified the scepter, it was no difficulty to realize he must have the master stone." He cleared his throat. "So, we cannot let him have another. Each alone is powerful, but together with the Infinity Gauntlet, they become a weapon of devastating consequence. Remember what I said about the destruction of Jorumungandr? The Infinity Gauntlet could destroy Jormungandr. Thanos wants the individual stones, but his master strategy is to possess all six and make himself ruler of the universe."

"And he's such a charming guy, who wouldn't want that?" Tony quipped, trying to lighten things up.

"Where would they go?" Steve asked.

Loki shook his head. "Apep suggests Egypt, but other than that, I have no idea. Worse, if they have the ruby and someone with the right knowledge, they can use it to find the master, wherever it may be on-world."

"Well, we could always resurrect that tesseract-finding program," Banner suggested. "Look for it--"

"With science!" Tony interrupted. "Yes, that sounds like a much better plan, than all this vague soul and magic business." He waved his hands around, ignoring how affronted Loki looked by the dismissal. "C'mon, Jolly Green Giant, let's science the hell out of this."

"Let's see if we can come up with something more," Natasha suggested, "but meantime we still need to eat." She jerked her head back toward the galley and Steve followed.

Thor started to follow, but when Loki went out the hatch, followed him instead.

Clint looked around as if hoping for someone else to move, but when Sif went after them, he heaved a put-upon sigh and went to the galley to help out.

* * *

 

Thor spied the look on Loki's face as he slipped out of the main room and went outside, a glimpse of weariness that his brother had worn far too often of late. So he followed, to see if Loki needed consolation or distraction. Thor knew he could provoke an argument without much effort, but thought he should offer a friendlier companionship first.

Loki stood in the prow of the ship, wind stirring his hair and his coat.

Knowing Loki had already marked his presence, Thor walked across the empty deck to join him. "They are preparing the evening meal. Will you join them to eat together?" he asked.

Loki shook his head. "I know not how anyone can eat," he murmured after a moment. "But I suppose it is because they have no understanding."

"And because they know they need sustenance before battle," Thor pointed out. "As do you." He gripped Loki's shoulder, still muscled beneath the leather of his guards, but thinner than it should be. "I would not have you waste away."

Loki shrugged off the touch. "Don't be absurd. I'll eat later."

Thor doubted that, but let the silence fall between them and looked at Loki's profile. At first, knowing he was observed, he kept the irritation there, brow slightly furrowed and lips pressed flat. But those passed, dragged down by dark thoughts that he couldn't resist. "Your fears speak in this silence, brother. Is our situation so perilous?" Thor asked softly.

Loki snorted. "You were there, you saw what the tesseract can do. You saw what the scepter does. Do you think the actual Soul Gem is lesser?"

"We will keep it from them," Thor declared. "And we will fight them. As we intended from the start."

Loki gave a sharp laugh. "Oh, yes, it's that easy.  You say it and it's done, all must give way to your will. But why shouldn't it? The true and worthy one, who never has to _consider_ that he might fail. Keep hitting it til it falls down, that's always been your strategy, while the rest of us have to be more clever, have to account for not being you!" Loki's voice spiraled louder in an abrupt shattering fury. "But I'm not, and I never have been, and you knew that, and you mocked and you--" He stopped abruptly, color draining from his face to turn it waxen. Whirling around, he leaned over the rail, as if he might need to be sick over the side.

Thor frowned in confusion, first by the words hurled at him but then the way Loki reacted to his own words. "Loki? What is it?" Loki reached for the railing, fumbling at it with strange clumsy hands before he wrapped both hands around the top metal bar and gazed fixedly at the sea frothing below.

"I apologize," Loki said in a distant voice. "My temper got the best of me for a moment."

They were words to a stranger, polite and utterly false. That might have been temper, but the reaction told Thor it had been something else. He reminded himself that Loki would not respond to impatient demands, even if they bubbled up insistently, and he said with careful calm, "Loki, something happened. Why were you upset?"

"You sound like Mother. It's very strange," Loki muttered.

"Good, then maybe you will tell me what makes you look as if someone stabbed you. Thanos?" he hazarded and knew he was right, when Loki pressed his lips together and his throat worked to hold back the distress rising inside him. "Brother?" Thor prompted. "Tell me."

For a moment he thought Loki might again spurn the attempt to get him to talk, but he didn't. Without looking at Thor, Loki asked, far more hesitantly than he would ordinarily do, "In that practice duel, long ago, when you called me Little Bird – did you come to stand above me? Did you know I was not... your blood kin?"

Thor's frown deepened with worry that Loki would ask. "Loki, you know this."

"Just-- just tell me." The request was softly spoken and yet carried an unsettling degree of desperation. Loki's knuckles were white on the railing, gripping so tightly Thor was surprised it wasn't bent.

Thor answered carefully, "It grieves me to admit, I did not come to you. I left. And I was told about your ancestry only when we thought you were gone in the void. I knew nothing about it until then." He was going to add that the truth didn't change his feelings that Loki was his brother, but Loki nodded, accepting the statement as if he'd found the answer he'd been looking for.

Dread settled in Thor's heart, a chill knowledge that something was wrong. This wasn't Loki doubting his place in the family again, but something else. That dread strengthened when he glimpsed a brightness to Loki's eyes and too-rapid blinking. Loki had tears in his eyes. Thor was dismayed by the sight. "Loki? What is wrong?"

"Shall I write you a list?" Loki gave a ghost of a laugh, trying to make a joke that he didn't find at all amusing. It was nothing more than Loki's usual attempt to turn away concern, but it was so by rote, it worried Thor even more.

Thor touched his arm. "Please, talk to me."

Loki's tongue touched his lips, hesitating to explain. "I know you left. I know it like I know the spell to conjure fire. But I have no memory of it. I did, once, but I remember something else," he admitted after a moment. "I know the memory is false, that it can't have happened that way – but I remember that you and Volstagg and Freyr came to me where I was hurt. And you knew, called me a runt and kicked me when I was on the floor, still broken--"

"No!" Thor protested anxiously, and his heart shifted and seemed to grow heavy in his chest at the thought that Loki would imagine such a horrible thing. "Never, Loki. Not then, not ever. I swear."

"I … know. It is like my false memory of killing Mother. This... insidious creeping evil," his voice shook, "I cannot stop it. How can I hope to battle him, when I cannot stop him from making me remember what never happened?"

"Loki..."

Loki whispered, "He is destroying me from the inside, Thor."

"No," Thor protested thickly, "No, we shall not let him." He pulled Loki into an embrace, clasping his arms around him more tightly when he felt that Loki was trembling. His own eyes burned with tears as he pressed his lips to the raven black hair.

"All will be well," he promised. "Hold on and I will remind you of what is true. And when we are home at last, Mother and Father will help you."

Loki turned his face into Thor's shoulder and in worrisome confirmation of how upset he was, didn't even try to pull away. Instead he murmured, in an airy, young voice, "Will it be soon?"

It reminded Thor of when Loki had been little, and he'd had one of his bad dreams. Usually their mother had tended to him, but sometimes Loki had padded barefoot into his room, asking if he could stay a little while. They'd played quiet games, usually until either their mother retrieved him or Loki had fallen asleep.

Thor's hand rubbed his back. "Yes, soon. Just a little while longer, Loki, I promise."

"I want to see Mother's garden again," he murmured. "She planted a tree for me."

"I know."

"She should have cut it down when she found out what I'd done," there was an icy, vicious edge to his whisper that sent a chill up Thor's spine. "She should have burned it."

"No, no, she would never do such a thing, you know that."

"I loathe this," Loki muttered. "I loathe being this weak and childish."

"You have endured what would destroy lesser beings, Loki. You are unwell, not weak or childish." He said the words now, meaning them, even as he remembered when he had teased Loki about being a baby, scared of silly dreams. After that taunt, Loki had never come to his room after a nightmare again, though Thor had tried to take it back.

At least this time, Loki let Thor comfort him, gathering his breath back to calm before he gave a sniff and said in a more normal tone, "Finally you stopped ruffling my hair."

Thor let him go. "Is that a request?" Thor reached up his right hand to scrub it through the raven locks, chuckling as Loki squirmed away.

"That was _not_ a request. Oaf."

"You wanted me to do it," Thor pointed out, but his smile was quick to fade. "You feel better, I hope?"

Loki shrugged and wouldn't meet his eyes, smoothing his hair. "If 'better' is also 'rather humiliated' then, yes."

"There is no shame in leaning on others."

Loki's sharp eyes flicked to him in startled incredulity, although all he said was, "A thousand years of Asgard teaches something quite different."

And Thor had been one of those teachers. "I know," Thor admitted, "but there are other virtues than strength. And if one of them isn't compassion then what is strength even good for?"

Loki dropped his head, hair hanging in his face, as he tugged at his left vambrace. "That's a question only the strong need to ask."

Thor drew breath to counter the implicit counting of Loki among the weak, but Loki was done with the conversation. He cleared his throat, and said in a tone as if the last five minutes had never happened, "I believe I shall find some dinner. Not for hunger, but diversion. This endless waiting is so tedious."

He said the words jesting, but Thor thought it was a serious comment. Loki liked keeping occupied even in the best of times, and now the need was more urgent to not brood on his mental unraveling and what he had suffered. Especially with little left to drink. Still, Thor tried to keep it light, teasing, "Your idea of diversion tends toward reckless endangerment, and getting into trouble."

Loki scoffed. "Yours tends to swinging a big hammer and hitting things, so do not pretend you are so much better." He rolled his eyes, then flicked his gaze upward again, and said in a far more serious tone, "I hope Munin comes soon. At least we might begin to prepare if we have a location."

He walked away, and Thor would have followed except Sif emerged from her waiting place on the roof of the master cabin, and she jumped down to the deck as soon as Loki had gone back inside. "I heard most of it," she murmured. "He needs to go home."

He glanced upward, as if he could see Asgard, and shook his head. "He won't, even if Father recalled him." Which clearly Odin would not, and likely could not, if there was no one else to stand in Thanos' way.

He ignored the small voice which sounded a bit like Loki's in the back of his mind: _no one except the king himself, with Gungnir and the tesseract. Oh, Father, if I think this, I know Loki has, too; he will believe in bitterness that you send him because he is disposable, not because he is the best alternative_.

"What if he can't?" Sif asked.

Thor turned to her, curious and confused by the question. "What do you mean?"

"I – " she stopped and turned her head, biting her lip and frowning in uncertainty, as if she didn't quite know the answer herself. "What if the real objective is Loki himself?"

"He had Loki in his grasp, Sif, and sent him away."

"But did he? Loki's used the Casket to an extent no one else has, possibly ever. He is now even more closely bound to it. And he has the scepter back, the one Thanos gave him." A hint of offended rage – that after Loki's unquestioned suffering she would _dare_ to suggest it was all a trick – simmered, quelled when Sif touched his arm quickly. "I am not suggesting he is a willing ally, Thor, but we know for a fact that Thanos was in his mind again. Do we know he is not still doing Thanos' bidding, and when the time comes Loki will be the one to open the portal himself or hand the Soul Gem to Thanos?"

The thought that Loki was not free, after all, hit him with all the power of Mjolnir right to his chest. That he might, in fact, still be in thrall, and not know it.

Worse, following after that, was the fear that if it had happened, if he was held again under that shadow, that Loki would kill himself once he became aware of it. He stood too near the edge as it was, spirit slashed to ribbons by doubt and pain and anger. The knowledge that the Casket had nearly destroyed Midgard against his will was difficult enough to bear; to be used to bring Thanos into the Nine Realms and acquire all the treasures, would break him utterly. Thor remembered his face as he let go of Gungnir above the endless chasm of the Bifrost, a look Thor was now seeing again.

"No," he said, and his voice was so strangled-sounding he had to clear his throat and try again. "No, Sif, we will not dissolve into distrust and suspicion. If Thanos could have controlled him in that way, he would have used it to force a portal on Svartalfheim with the Casket."

"But Thor--"

"No!" he refused. "The truth is terrible enough, Sif. Thanos has one Gem and seeks another, and it is no accident he attacked Loki first. So we must lend him our strength so that he may come out of this. I will not lose my brother, Sif, not again. Not when I have him back."

Sif curled a hand around his forearm. "I promised the queen I would protect him, Thor. I meant that."

He laid his hand over hers and squeezed. "I know. It gladdens my heart to see you two friends again. Come, let us find food, and see if science has had more success where magic has failed."

But he also turned his eyes upward and urged Munin to return with glad tidings soon.

* * *

 

tbc...

 


	26. A raven's message

Loki hesitated at the threshold of the common room, and decided he wanted to be alone instead. Too worn out from making a fool of himself with Thor, he couldn't endure the jests or the stupidity of the mortals without snapping. Yet he'd also been truthful about diversion; he couldn't sit and do nothing without going mad.

Thanos. The Soul Gem. His own mind a fraying thread.

 _Destroy Thanos. Achieve that, and it's over. Achieve that and they will sing of you for five thousand years_.

He stopped in the shadows of the aft outside lounge, relieved it was empty. _I can do it. If I have the Soul Gem, I can tear him apart from within. The Mind Gem cannot avail him if I rip his soul from his body_.

But only if he could find the Gem first. If Thanos took it first, Thanos could raise up his army of soul-less Midgardians, who would butcher their own children at Thanos' whim. A force that cared about nothing, even survival, was a force of nothing but death. Once Thanos had both Gems, there would be only one play left with the Casket, and Loki was not certain it would accomplish anything but the destruction of everything but Thanos.

The tesseract or the aether would be enough. _But could I dare bring another within his reach? Doubtless the All-Father will say it is too great a risk, and I cannot disagree, not yet. But I can foresee a time when risk will all we have left. But... I suppose it will not be my problem any longer, if the Casket fails_.

Glancing upward at the brush of power but seeing only the underside of the landing platform, he knew Munin had returned.

He climbed up to the landing platform back to open air and whistled to call Munin to him.

The raven leisurely spiraled down to land on his outstretched forearm. He cocked his head to look at Loki with one yellow eye. " _The All-Father says yes. It remains_."

Loki shut his eyes, wishing the answer had been different, but not surprised. "And? Anything else? Does he know where it is?"

" _The All-Father says that it would be known if the Soul Gem had been found. So it must yet lie where it was hidden_."

"Which is where, exactly?"

" _The All-Father says, a tomb within the city of the dead_."

Loki blew out a breath and picked that human word that was so useful in times like this: "Fuck." Because he'd read that story while searching out the ruby. A thousand miles of empty sand was not a location though.

Munin's beak made a clinking noise as he pecked at the metal buckle of Loki's vambrace to get his attention again. " _Also, the All-Father says to the cub, your strength comes from all you are and all you know. Do not use but half_."

Loki could parse that one easily enough and wanted to laugh at the irony of the king telling him to draw on his Frost Giant heritage for anything. Sure, hide it for a thousand years, but now that everyone knew, he might as well use it. But at least he had his confirmations: the stone was on Midgard and had not been moved, and Odin expected him to fight with the Casket.

There had to be a better way. He nudged Munin off his arm. "Seek out some peanuts inside, pigeon. I need to locate this place more precisely or we're just wasting our time."

For a moment, he stood there, his eyes closed, to seek calm. He felt the sea breeze, cool and tinged with salt, against his cheeks and against his palms, held out at his sides. Next he expanded his senses to the water beneath their small craft, restless and heaving, slow and old in the depths, slumbering. Outward again, to the heat of the planet's core and the quick hum of the magnetic field all of it ordinary and soothing.

Beyond that the shimmer of higher dimensions, the flow of time, the vast protective embrace of Jormungandr...

But not that far, no. He pulled his awareness closer again, to the world itself, remembering what he came for.

The Soul Gem, containing the power of a hundred million lost souls, it was here somewhere. To his east, in the direction of the rising sun, somewhere amid sand and rock, dunes and canyons, while beneath the surface ten thousand years of water awaited release.

It was close now. Without the access key there was no true sense of direction in this nothingness, but he could sense a distant pinpoint of light, like a star in the ground.

He reached for it, seeking to grasp it and pull himself close. Instead the brilliance flared and sent him back. Stumbling, he fell, blinking in a daze at the abrupt return to his body and finding himself dangerously close to smacking his head on the quinjet's wing.

" _Cub_?" Munin asked, hopping on the deck underneath the jet to check on him.

Loki cradled his head in his hands and let out a breathless laugh. "It seems the Gem does not care for being sought in that fashion. I need to be closer to it."

Using the quinjet, he pulled himself back to his feet and patted the craft in promise to return soon. "Come, Munin, let us speak to the others. It's time to leave this boat."

* * *

 

Tony was vaguely aware of Thor and Sif returning to the main room, and that Loki wasn't with them, but he and Bruce were busy with re-tasking two satellites to look in Europe, North Africa, and western Asia, for unusual power readings. He was hoping, like the tesseract, it'd have a visible reading that would show up on this detailed scan. Of course detailed scans took time, but at least they didn't have to search the entire planet. And God forbid, the thing was underwater someplace, that'd be a complication they didn't need.

The programming was done and the search was underway, when Loki came back in, looking windblown and tired for a moment before he straightened as Munin landed on his shoulder.

"As suspected, the All-Father confirms Bor left it here, and had it been found, its effects would have been noticed. So, I believe we must turn our attention to Egypt and begin searching there."

"Because of the Apep story?"

"Yes, and because the All-Father told me that it was hidden in a tomb in the city of the dead."

Clint lifted his head sharply and said, "Hamunaptra."

Tony had to laugh at the astonishment on Loki's face. It was as if his dog had demonstrated calculus. "How... in all the hells do you know that name?" Loki demanded.

" _The Mummy_ ," Barton answered. The rest were dumbfounded. "Come on, guys. It's always on television in every single fucking hotel I've stayed in for ten years. Did none of you see the movie?"

"Saw it," Tony volunteered. "Didn't expect it to be true."

"So this place has been found?" Loki asked, troubled. "Everything I read suggested it was lost. Does this 'movie' tell us where it is?"

"It was fictional, but apparently more real than I thought," Barton said, shaking his head. "So there's some ancient mummy buried in the lost city of the dead? For real?"

Loki shook his head, amused. "There is someone buried with the Soul Gem, but I doubt he is mummified. Except perhaps in a poetic sense, if his soul was pulled from him."

"Cheery," Tony muttered. "Don't you ever have good news?"

Loki pondered that one for a moment, pursing his lips and wobbling his head, before offering with an amused flare of his brows, "Midgard is still here?"

"Thanks for the update, Clarabell. Tell me you know where to look so we don't have to wander the desert like we're searching for the damned Ark of the Covenant?" Tony demanded, irritably, and then flung a finger at him as a horrible idea occurred to him. "And don't say that's another stupid artifact you people left lying around like an empty beer can. Because I swear, the tesseract was bad enough that it got left here for anybody to find, but now there's all this other crap?"

"We don't have to find it," Natasha pointed out. "They have to find it. We just have to stop them from digging it up if they do find it."

Tony realized she was right. They didn't have to find the Gem; their strategy was to keep it from the bad guys. "JARVIS, start analysis of flight data, radar, and satellite imagery, look for a quinjet heading to Egypt. And maybe another two hundred miles out from that, just in case. I'd hate to miss it because they're going to Tunisia."

"We need to be on our way, too," Loki suggested, tense. "Time is not our friend now."

Steve nodded. "I think you're right. That presence I felt... we can't let him reach Earth."

"Or take the Soul Gem," Sif added. "Else war will engulf the Nine, and take this world with it, I fear."

"And I'd rather not start Ragnarok today," Loki added with a bitter amusement.

"Let's gear up and go," Steve ordered, standing up and seeming eager to get moving. "Vacation's over."

"But... food?" Clint asked. "We should eat, and food's ready."

"We can eat on the jet. Let's move, team."

And they did, scattering back down to their sleeping rooms to get their gear, or, in Tony's case, making sure the ordnance was loaded into his latest suit. He didn't activate it yet, though given cramped conditions he'd probably scout ahead.

Then he went to help Loki carry the bulky ARC reactor case, containing the shielded scepter. "We sure we want this with us?" he asked, remembering Steve's turn as Thanos' puppet, and feeling very uneasy that it was with them.

"It is shielded, and right now, my plan involves using the scepter against him, by pouring the power of the Casket back through it."

Tony hated that he didn't know enough about all this to evaluate this plan. It sounded workable, but then it also sounded like a load of wishful thinking horse manure, so he grimaced. "Sounds dangerous and iffy."

Loki didn't exactly disagree, as he shoved the reactor case beneath the bulkhead bench seat. "If you have a better plan, I am listening."

"Nope. Though that doesn't mean there isn't one." He frowned, realizing, "Where's the Casket? You should go get it," he said as Loki sat down on the seat above the reactor case as if he had no intention of moving.

"I have it," Loki answered. "I'm ready."

Thor stomped up the ramp, Mjolnir in hand. "I am ready, as well."

Tony envied that they were ready, just like that. Of course, they also wore their armor all the time, so it wasn't as if they needed to change, or load ordnance. Or even eat, as Tony had seen Barton shoving Burrito Bites in his mouth, while he checked over his quiver.

But altogether it was only fifteen minutes or so and they were all in their tac outfits. Rogers had his shield on his back, cowl down, as he surveyed them. "Everybody ready?"

From the front Natasha and Clint reported, "Checklist done. We're ready."

Tony waved a hand in farewell to them and stepped off the ramp to let it close without him.

As he watched the quinjet pull away, leaving him the only living person left on the yacht, he said, "JARVIS?"

" _Yes, sir_?"

"Good to hear you. All systems go?"

" _All systems are indeed go, sir. Shall I initialize repulsors_?"

Tony slapped the faceplate down and the display appeared, giving him status reports. "Yes, let's go punch an evil alien in the face."

 

* * *

 

tbc... 

 


	27. In-flight entertainment

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> eventually there will be a funny story about why I had to rewrite some of what I planned for the end, but right now, I'm just sorry it's taking so long! It'll get there, really!

* * *

 

Inside the quinjet, Thor remained standing to allow the others the seats along either side of the hull. Loki and Sif sat above the reactor case, Bruce and Steve sat across, while Barton and Romanoff were at the controls. Munin perched himself on the back of Barton's seat, which caused Barton to turn around and look at the raven several times, as if he didn't quite believe his eyes that a large raven had decided to visit him.

Steve poked at the bag at his feet and drew out some plates wrapped in foil that he handed around. Apparently he had not been jesting about eating on the plane. Thor was about to demur, but Steve shoved it at him. "It won't keep, so you might as well eat it." He pulled a plastic container out of the bag and handed it to Loki. "And here's the rest of yours."

Loki leaned across the aisle to take it, his brow knitted in some puzzlement. "Thank you," he said, his voice wary. "I did not expect anything."

Steve handed him a fork. "Then I'm glad to surprise you. Go on, eat."

Bruce smiled across the way, picking up his plastic fork. "So it seems all of us with super strength have to eat a lot, but you--"

"—eat like a hare. Or a cow," Loki interjected when Bruce hesitated. "I have heard such before; you need not be delicate."

Hearing his level tone, so matter-of-fact, made Thor wince inwardly and he saw Steve's attention sharpen, as if hearing something in the words at odds with the calm delivery.

Bruce hesitated again and recovered, "I was going to say, you don't eat the calories consistent with your mass or strength. I'm pretty sure I would starve to death on what I've seen you eat."

Loki shrugged and dug into the grain and vegetable salad. "I was not hungry, and we are more hardy than mortals."

Thor set a hand on his shoulder. "More hardy, yes, but still, Mother bids you eat, remember."

Loki glowered up at him. "Do not tempt me to stab you again."

With exaggerated care, Thor removed his hand and held it away. "I will not mention it again," he promised. Loki snorted, not believing it for a second.

Munin turned around and stared at Bruce's plate. "Nut?" he asked hopefully.

Smiling, Bruce plucked a peanut out of his leftovers of chicken, rice, and hot peppers and offered it to Munin in the palm of his hand, for Munin to delicately pluck it away.

"You shall be friends for life, now," Thor warned him.

"Good. I've never had a bird friend before," Bruce said, reaching out to pet Munin's feathers.

"Hey!" Barton objected, incensed, and the others laughed.

Thor turned his attention to his plate of tiny pizzas. He remembered pizza with Jane and Darcy in the desert. These seemed inferior to that, but they were still food and Thor would eat them. Sif was careful of her plate contents so they did not touch Loki's. He did not eat as enthusiastically but at least he ate, so Thor didn't bother him.

Since he was standing, Thor collected the discarded plates and utensils when everyone was finished, and shoved the bag of trash between two bulkhead supports.

"So," Steve began. "Let's run through the worst-case scenario. Thanos' agents get to the Soul Gem before us. Do they use it to open a Portal right away?"

Loki shook his head. "Perhaps, but I think they will make the soul-less out of anyone nearby, as a protective guard. They will know we seek them. Also, creating the portal will take time since they lack the scepter to receive instructions directly from Thanos, and few, if any, on this world know other techniques to open it."

"Do they have any special powers? The soul-less?" Steve asked. "How do we fight them?"

"They will remain as they were before. But they will not be like your fictional zombies; they will still have their reason and be able to operate weapons. They will have no fear of pain or death, and their will subsumed into the wielder of the gem."

"So, clever zombies," Barton muttered. "That's just great."

"They remain mortal; they will die easily," Sif pointed out.

Steve grimaced. "Can't we incapacitate? You brought me out of that thrall, but there's no hope for them? Ever?"

Loki looked down at his hands, which he clasped together and rubbed one thumb over the back of the other. Thor knew the answer was no from his reaction alone, but he was pleased to see Loki reluctant to utter it. He was gathering more respect for mortal life, though he professed otherwise. Loki explained, "This is old lore, Rogers. The Soul Gem has not been used in thousands of years. So I will not swear to 'ever'. But if there is a way to reverse it, I do not know it."

Steve nodded, looking grimly resigned. "So we can't let it happen."

Loki inhaled a deep breath. "Unfortunately it may already have happened."

The others looked to him in surprise. "How?" Bruce demanded. "They can't have it already, surely?"

"How do you know?" Sif asked, on top of the other questions.

Loki lifted a hand to quiet them. "I do not know for certain. But you said you wanted a worst-case scenario, and that would be that they have someone who can use the Ruby. As this," he kicked backward with his heel, delivering a solid thump to the case beneath his seat, "can draw on the Mind Stone, so too can the Ruby draw on the Soul Gem."

"You didn't mention this before?" Barton turned in his chair, dislodging Munin who dragged a talon across his arm as he launched into flight.

Loki stared back at him and retorted coldly, "I thought everyone would be clever enough to figure it out on their own. But obviously not."

Thor knew better. "You were not intending to reveal that. Why not?"

Loki turned an irritated face toward him. "They will have to see it for themselves before they truly believe what we face." Then he looked across at Steve. "You still think you can save them. You think, 'there must be a way.' But sometimes, Captain, there is no other path. Or if there is one, the price paid for it may be too high."

"We can keep them away from others, care for them. They don't know what they're doing and they should have a chance, however small, to recover themselves," Steve said, firmly. "We don't have to kill them."

"And if death is a greater mercy than the unlife you would condemn them to?" Loki returned. "What of the suffering of their families to look into their eyes and see only a void?" But he waited for no answer, and shook his head in resignation. "No matter. You are mortal, so the problem will sort itself soon enough."

Thor could tell that the humans didn't care for the reminder that they were short-lived, but it was true. If Steve insisted on trying to save them, Thor would try, too, but he should understand that the attempt would not be without a cost.

"How can we protect ourselves from its power?" Sif asked.

"Like the scepter, it's likely the Ruby must touch you so avoid that," Loki advised. "Against the Gem itself? You and Thor will be resistant, as Aesir." He looked to Banner. "I suspect any attempt on you will call forth the Green Monstrosity to protect you, and while that will not avail against Thanos or anyone with true skill, it will give you time. The rest of you..."

He stopped, and Barton interjected dryly, "Are screwed?"

Loki's expression agreed with that, but he said merely, in a dry jesting tone, "Keep your distance."

"Can't you magic up some protection? Isn't that what magic is good for?" Barton asked.

Loki's smile thinned. "That is not what it is _good for_. It is good for learning about the universe and the infinite fabric of existence," he extended a hand out before him, gaze growing distant as he looked beyond himself, "and to sense our place in the vastness of eternity. That is the heart of magic." Abruptly, he straightened, blinked himself back to the present, and announced, "We are being pursued."

'What, no, I see no--" Barton started.

A loud voice interrupted over the speaker, " _Iron Man to Avengers. We've got company!_ "

Thor called Mjolnir from the floor and held her haft in his hand, ready, as he listened.

"Three Russian Flanker jets on our tail," Barton corrected himself, seeing it now. "There's a carrier down there."

Natasha began to talk urgently over the comm in Russian, telling the jets to leave them alone, they were not a target, they were not the ones who had anything to do with the bombing of the Hermitage, but the pilots did not respond.

Thor's hand tightened on Mjolnir, wondering if he should leave the craft and take to the sky.

"They're on us!" Barton exclaimed, and the quinjet banked suddenly. Thor flung his free hand to the overhand strut to balance himself. The jet banked again, and Barton called, "Stark, where are you?"

" _Coming up right behind them, now. Let's see if I can discourage them._ "

The craft continued to twist and dive and bank to avoid the fighter jets, until a loud alarm shrieked, and Barton exclaimed, "Weapons lock! Tony!"

" _Busy_ ," came the terse reply.

"We can shake it," Natasha declared, but right on the heels of that, Barton exclaimed, "Missile in-bound!"

Thor punched the hatch release. "Fly straight!" he called. "I will tend to them." The wind rushed in, blowing back his hair, and he thought he would fly after the missile. But instead he saw it on target, directly at the rear, and he smiled.

As soon as the hatch opened wide enough, he threw Mjolnir at the missile, as it helpfully closed the distance and did not turn aside.

The missile exploded into a shower of debris, briefly catching fire until it was gone. Mjolnir returned to his hand. "Any more?" He called forward. "I can handle them."

"We can handle them," Loki declared. Thor glanced aside and smiled at him, pleased Loki was joining him.

"Yes, find us at least one more!" Thor called back.

"You got it!" Barton shouted. "Two just for you."

Thor saw them, two of the same sleek missiles, heading for them. "On the right."

"Mine or yours?" Loki asked, as Thor was about to throw, halting his swing.

"Mine of course," Thor said impatiently, because Loki should know better after all their battles together. But then Loki flung both hands outward, extending his palms toward the missiles, and a bright spark flew out and hit the gleaming metal constructs.

The explosive in the missiles ignited and flared with light and heat, and remainder was falling harmlessly to the sea below.

"You took both!" Thor accused him, outraged. They were supposed to do it together and then Loki stole it.

Loki had a very satisfied smirk as he turned his head. "You were so slow to make up your mind," he chided, and Thor groaned, wanting to smack him with the hammer. Sif only laughed at him when he appealed to her.

"We're clear," Natasha reported. "Two jets down, pilots ejected, and the other's retreating."

" _I have better news_ ," Tony said over the speaker, and Thor could see Iron Man, pacing the quinjet to their left side. " _JARVIS thinks he found our friends. Patching it through now, but spoiler alert, it's Egypt_."

"Let's hope our Russian friends don't figure that out, too," Barton said. "Or this is gonna get real hostile, real quick."

"I'm sure Fury and the President are trying to explain to them what's happening," Steve offered then grimaced. "Not that it's an explanation too many people are going to believe."

"The Soul Gem must not fall into their hands either," Loki reminded everyone as he retook his seat. "It once was safe to leave these treasures here, but no longer."

"You want to find it?" Sif asked. "And do what with it?"

"Take it to Asgard," he answered. "As long as it remains here, Thanos will keep trying for it. Better the All-Father disposes of it elsewhere, than let it remain, don't you think?"

Thor thought that seemed reasonable, except as Sif's gaze met his, he felt a twinge of doubt. Was Loki speaking as himself, and did he intend to bring the Gem to their father, or did he want to take it because that was what Thanos intended all along?

 _No_ , he reminded himself sharply, _Thanos feeds on this distrust and doubt. I will not play his game, and I will keep faith in Loki. One of us must be strong and sure, so that I will do until he proves otherwise._

* * *

tbc...

 


	28. A plan in motion

* * *

 

Did they think he couldn't see them? Did they believe he didn't understand why they exchanged that look, after he answered the question of what to do with the Soul Gem? He knew what it meant: his brother and Sif claimed to have his back and they professed their faith in him, but that was only until he proved he was the monster again.

He should take the Gem for himself, since that was what they expected anyway. Take it, use it. He could make his own army of soul-less Midgardians so he could conquer Midgard. He could make everyone on this plane his conquering army. With Hulk alone under his control, no one could stop him, not even Thanos.

Too bad the soul-less sounded like even duller followers than Barton and Selvig had been under the scepter's thrall.

So, no, he wouldn't do that. Instead, he would prove them wrong. He would take the Gem, rip Thanos apart with it, avenge himself, and finish this. Then they'd know. Maybe then they'd finally believe in him.

Breaking into his ruminations, the voice of Tony's AI announced over the speaker, " _I have the location on satellite. The quinjet is parked at the Rawi Oasis, southwest of Cairo_."

Loki's head went up at that, dismayed. "JARVIS, there is an archaeological site there, is there not?"

" _Yes, sir. It has been excavated at various points in the last century. While not specifically identified as Hamunaptra, it is known by its older, less accurate identification as a Temple of Anubis_."

"Why is that bad?" Steve asked him. "That it's a site already. Obviously there are people there, I understand that's a problem, but--?"

"Because it's already been dug at," Bruce answered. "They don't have to dig in the sand."

"But nobody's found the Gem," Natasha said from the front. "That means it's still hidden there."

Loki sat back casting his memory back to the files he'd scanned in his search. "I did not consider it for the location, because not only has there been recent excavation, but it is one of the main routes to the west, with its water source, thus it has been built on over the centuries by other peoples. It is ignored in the archaeological record for the most part, because what remains is primarily of Roman and later origin."

Clint turned in his chair. "When did you become an expert in Egyptian Archaeology?"

Loki heard the accusation and he returned coolly, "While you were all doing whatever it was you were doing on Stark's yacht, I was scanning the literature for information on the ruby. And since I can read all of your primitive Midgardian languages and I remember everything I read, that's when."

He was smugly satisfied to see Clint's eyebrows go up, impressed in spite of himself, as Bruce asked, "You know _all_  the languages? Really?"

"Magic," Loki replied shortly, not wanting to get into the vagaries of translation and the All-speak and which languages he'd learned. The mortals nodded as if they had any understanding of the topic at all, but he let it go. It didn't matter; what mattered was that he knew about the Rawi Oasis and that most of what was left of the Temple of Anubis or the City of the Dead – if this was, in fact, the right place-- was a bunch of scattered rocks.

Bruce thankfully appeared to have his thoughts in the same direction. "But they landed there, so they must have a good idea the Gem was never found and it's still there," Bruce said, and opened his laptop. "I'll pull up a map."

In a moment he had it, and Loki was crouched next to him to look at it as well.

The desert was severe around the site, with the oasis one of the few water sources for some distance all around. The buildings all looked ancient to Loki's eyes, though he guessed they were probably aged by the harsh sun and blowing sand. The images of the site itself were, as he had thought, very unimpressive with only two columns upright, a few ruined walls, and one deeper pit of a more modern excavation that had seen more interesting days. It all looked hot and unpleasant.

"That looks... not very City of the Dead like," Bruce said leaning back. "You sure that's where they went, JARVIS?"

" _Yes, Doctor Banner, there are two quinjets visible on current satellites_."

The image on the screen shifted to a more distant, uncolored satellite image of what looked like the same air craft as the one he sat in. One jet sat in the desert on the northern edge of town, beyond where the highway passed through and far outside the trees of the settlement. The other sat near the excavation but not right on top of it.

To the north was a rocky uplift of cracked and barren hills and washes, and to the south was arid nothingness for many miles.

"Well, there's the sand I saw," Steve jested dryly. "We found it."

The others chuckled, but Loki glanced at him then back to the image on the screen, and figured out what that meant. "He already knew where it was," he murmured. "How did he know it was still in the desert, before they took the Ruby?" He stood, too restless to remain there, and headed to the back to stare at the closed ramp, scrubbing a hand through his hair as he tried to figure it out.

"Thanos is long-lived, brother," Thor reminded him. "He may have personal knowledge that we do not."

Loki shook his head. "But that still makes no sense. If he knew where it was, then he should have sent his minions here from the start to fetch it. So what else is he planning?"

Why was Thanos always a step ahead? Why could Loki not, just once, get an advantage instead?

Bruce said, in that quiet way of his, "I think there's a difference between knowing it's in a desert somewhere, and knowing exactly where to find it. Maybe he knew the first, maybe even that it used to be in Egypt, but he didn't know exactly where."

That made sense, and helped Loki settle within, that Thanos could not know _everything_. He nodded.

"Do we have a plan? Do we just set down and attack them?" Clint asked from the front.

" _I'll go ahead and take out their quinjets. At least we can stop them from starting this party over again somewhere else_ ," Tony offered.

"Wait! Tony!" Steve called. "Recon first. We need to know their disposition."

" _Recon and disabling quinjets on the way back_?" Tony bargained. " _I'm going. See you there_."

"Six minutes out," Natasha called.

Steve stood up. "Everyone who can jump out to the attack, we jump. Except you, Bruce. Wait on the Hulk til we have a better idea where you'll be needed."

As the others acknowledged, Loki stayed where he was near the ramp and commanded, “Munin, scout for us.” As Munin launched himself into flight, Loki sensed Thor move up beside him, readying to jump also, and braced himself for Thor's well-meaning but annoying attempt to keep him from jumping, even after he'd proven over New York that he could do it. But Thor didn't say it, heading off Loki's prepared rebuttal. Perhaps he'd learned something, after all.

Loki thought of Thanos, the Soul Gem, and half-formed desperate plans, and he realized this might be his last chance. He turned his back to the mortals, unwilling to let them hear, and he murmured, "Thor?"

"Brother?" Thor asked. He seemed eager for battle, but banked it to one side for concern when he saw Loki's face.

"Before we start," Loki said, "you should know... I want you to understand...." He hesitated, trying to find the words. This was difficult to tell Thor what he wanted to say, without revealing too much. "Nothing I did and nothing I am, is your doing. And no matter how today ends, my fate has never been in your hands. It is mine alone."

Thor frowned, now worried by the words. "Loki? What are you--?"

Loki cut him off. He didn't want to lie to Thor, not right now. "There is a Soul Gem down there, Thor, and Thanos, and things may go awry. I … I don't want to leave anything unsaid. Not today."

Thor's hand caught him by the shoulder and held tightly. "No," he ordered, "you will not give me words of farewell, Brother. Instead, you will promise to fight him and his minions and then come home with me."

That was an easy promise to give, and it slipped out with just enough indignant truth that Thor believed him. "Of course, I will. I only meant in case..."

"No," Thor insisted. "None of that."

"Pretending this is not dangerous does not actually make it _less_ dangerous,' Loki insisted with annoyance. "But fine, we'll pretend everything will go well." Loki heaved a sigh and threw up his hands in surrender. He waited a beat and added, "But remember what I said. Just in case."

He said it as if getting the last word, but he hoped it stuck. Because unlike Thor, he did believe in contingencies and planning for the worst.

Of course, it was also the best plan, but no one needed to know it, yet. He checked his weapons in his pocket dimension and smiled to himself, feeling more settled now that the moment was here. He was ready.

He just had to get to it first.

* * *

tbc...


	29. The Desert

* * *

Tony flew over the quinjets that JARVIS had located, scanning with everything he had, at high speed. The great thing about the suit – well, one of the great things – was that he was relatively small and very fast and thus very difficult to get a good radar signature on. And the quinjet sensors were rudimentary at best, so the enemy had very little idea he was there yet, as he flew over.

But he had time enough to get a good scan in to report to the others. "Iron Man to Avengers. Guards on each jet, some SHIELD, some look local, activity at the dig, and a suspiciously strong power usage in the walled house on the east edge of town."

Tony could picture Rogers' somber face as he asked, " _The portal? Is that what they're building_?"

"Well, they could be growing pot but I doubt it. They're pulling local power, and not nearly enough yet. So they haven't found the stone."

Loki's voice came through. " _Then we must stop the dig and the portal_."

"There are some defenses," Tony added. "Nothing too difficult for us to handle. I'm going after the jets to contain this."

" _Two minutes_ ," Barton said.

Rogers said, " _Bruce, you stay here as backup, Widow and I take the portal, Asgardians on the dig site. Hawkeye, cover us_."

" _Dig first. Hatch open,"_ Barton said _. "Ready, three, two, one... go_."

Tony turned his head to see the quinjet approaching at speed, and he had to smile at the sight of three people jump from well over a hundred feet up from the back of the quinjet. Thor didn't even bother to use Mjolnir to slow his descent, he just fell like a large, attractive rock.

Then, about the time the enemy noticed they were under attack, Tony swooped in to fire repulsors at the first quinjet. He targeted the stabilizers, to keep them from flight, and found himself under attack by some hand-weapon fire. Dodging out of the way, he returned fire and circled around to go after the shooters.

 

* * *

 

Thor dropped down, keeping both Loki and Sif within his view in case either needed assistance as they fell. But they landed well-- Sif rolling to rid herself of momentum, and Loki pushing the excess energy into seidr so he landed lightly like the raven he seemed to be with his black hair and dark leather.

  
That was the last of the good news.

They'd landed west of the ruins. A canvas sunshade flapped idly in the hot wind, while several open top vehicles were parked in a rough circle around the site. Some appeared to be military, with larger weapons attached to them. They seemed to be nothing Thor could not handle, but he was wary of SHIELD weapons in amongst the more primitive projectile.

There were around twenty people as well, some in the vehicles and the rest standing in a line, shoulder to shoulder, with their weapons ready to protect the ruins behind it. They didn’t fire, didn’t move, and for a moment, all was silent except for the wind.

Thor didn’t need the confirmation, but Loki announced it anyway so their friends could hear over the comm system, “They are de-souled. They have someone who can use the Ruby.”

Tony said with heartfelt dismay, “ _You were right. Damn it_.”

Loki took a step toward them, and Thor flung out a hand to block him from approaching. Loki shoved him off. “We have to get the Ruby. The rest of this--” he gestured to the mortals, “is to waste our time.”

“The one we seek must stand behind them, beneath the tent.”

“So let’s go get it,” Sif suggested, twirling her sword in her hand, ready for action now that it was before her.

“But without killing,” Thor said, but had to amend the thought, as the line started toward them, “As few as we can. I will remove the vehicles; you two are better able to incapacitate.”

Mjolnir was difficult to check its power, and throwing or hitting mortals with it was likely to yield deep injuries, if not death. He tightened his grip and then threw, targeting the nearest big gun on the jeep as it swung toward them.

“You forget, brother,” Loki said, “I come better armed this time.” He made a twisting motion with both hands, finishing the gesture with the Casket between his hands.

Thor drew back in uncertainty. “Loki, is that safe?”

Loki curled a lip. “This is a child’s game, meant to delay us. And I will play Thanos’ game no more.”

Brilliant indigo light burst out of the Casket and before Thor could do more than open his mouth to protest, the wave slammed into the first rank of the mortals.

“Loki, no!” Thor exclaimed. But it was too late.

White frost rushed along the heated sand and washed over the people and the vehicles, turning into a wave of gleaming ice. At first Thor feared they were frozen into death, and then he hoped that Loki had made the same stasis the Casket had made in New York, but it was neither. One mortal’s head moved, then another... They were free to move their heads, but below the neck they were entrapped in ice.

“It will not last,” Loki said, looking on what he’d made with a satisfied smirk. “The desert is too hot and dry. I would have to renew it constantly to keep them this way, but at least now _we_ buy the time.”

He gestured and the Casket vanished. Without a seeming caution, he stalked forward, toward the line. Behind him, Thor exchanged a look with Sif, who seemed as stunned as he felt. For so long Loki had used only his daggers and illusions in battle; to see him use such a weapon of consequence made Thor remember seeing that wave of death overtake the Svartalfar all those years ago. Except this time, Loki was not only alert afterward, but he had done it deliberately.

Loki shoved the mortals out of his way, and they toppled like dolls, crashing to the ground without resistance. Sif followed, but instead of knocking them over, she started yanking the weapons away and breaking them so they couldn’t be used. Thor decided he might as well tend to his original plan, and followed her lead, hurling Mjolnir into the bigger gun emplacements on the vehicles then following after his brother and Sif.

The de-souled were horrifying. They were worse than the ice sculptures the Casket had made in New York; at least those had held some beauty to them. But these, Thor could feel there was something missing from each one; they blinked, they moved, they were alive, but their faces held no expression. Their flat stares did not shift away from the enemy, as a normal person's would.

Over the comm in his ear, he heard Natasha report, “ _I see in the courtyard. Selvig’s there_!”

Loki checked his step and repeated, “Selvig? But I _warned_ you!”

“ _I passed the warning on_ ,” Natasha confirmed. “ _But it was too late, looks like. Or they found him anyway_.”

Loki’s hands clenched to fists at his sides.

“ _Maybe they’re threatening him_ ,” Rogers suggested. “ _We’ll be inside soon_.”

Thor didn’t have a lot of hope that Selvig was doing this under coercion, rather than being one of the de-souled as well. He mourned his friend, and hoped they might be able to free him.

Loki whirled to hold the nearest SHIELD fighter by the neck, and lifted him up off his feet, to stare into those dead eyes. “Where is the Ruby?” he demanded. “Tell me.”

The mortal looked back, fearless and calm. “I must stop you,” he said.

“Where is it?” But when his furious demand got no response, Loki threw him to the ground.

They cleared the way through the enemy to reach the area beneath the canvas, where there were some marble and other stone ruins lying in the sand, including a deep square hole marked by string and small numbered markers of things buried beneath.

But there was no one there, and certainly no Ruby discarded on the ground.

“It’s not here,” Loki muttered, turning in place to look around.

“We will find--” Thor started, meaning to console, but Loki was no longer listening.

“It’s not _here_ ,” Loki repeated, with a snarl. “I tire of chasing Thanos’ minions and I will have this finished.”

He gestured sharply, the air shimmering and slicing apart as he stepped through into the shadowpaths.

Thor lunged after him. “Loki! No!”

But his fingers brushed only the leather of Loki’s armor at the back, grasping nothing, before he was gone. 

* * *

tbc...

 


	30. Descending

Stepping onto the shadowpath, on the underbelly of Jormungandr and far from the light of Yggdrasil, Loki stopped when the way closed behind him.

The _nothingness_ tickled his memory and made his heart beat too quickly, but he kept his focus tight and ignored the phantoms that lurked on the edge of his sight.

The Ruby. Someone out there had the Ruby and had used it not long ago. They could not be far, not with the vehicles still parked at the village. They were using the Ruby to find the Soul Gem. But he was close enough now to do the reverse: use the Soul Gem to find the one who held the Ruby.

He raised his hands, twining seidr around his fingers and weaving it into a searching…. It was easy in the shadowpaths. Here, he could feel the power of his quarry and reach… just so…

The Soul Gem flared, resonating against the threads he held, and like a spider in a web, he could sense where the vibrations hit something and returned.

Holding that in mind, he pulled the communications device from his ear, dropped it, and walked out the other side. He arrived a short distance away to the north, among the piled rocks and bluffs of the broken desert, in a shallow canyon carved by sand and wind. There he found a group of the de-souled clearing fallen stones from an opening in the rock.

As one, they turned to see him, sensing an interloper arriving.

Another voice commanded, “Continue to clear the opening! Our Master commands it!”

And they obeyed, returning to their work.

He was a small man, Loki saw, vaguely familiar as someone he’d seen before in SHIELD: balding, glasses now in front of bright blue eyes of the ensorcelled, not unsouled. And he certainly recognized Loki, eyes narrowing. “Traitor,” he spat. “The Master wishes your death.” He held the Ruby up, threatening to use it against Loki.

Though briefly curious what it might do, Loki decided to not risk it. He sent a double toward the human, drawing his attention, as Loki wrapped illusion around himself and stepped aside. The mortal had no idea that he was not looking at the real Loki, as Loki’s double spoke for him: “He may have given you some lessons in rudimentary control, mortal, but I was learning the ways of power before your ancestors crawled out of the mud. Ordinarily I would suggest you give it to me, but in this case, I make no request. You already used it on people including Erik Selvig, who was supposed to be _safe_. He deserved better for his service to me. So I will take it. And yet, this is none of your own will, either, so I ought not kill you. How inconvenient.”

By that point Loki circled around behind him, pacing as silently as he could across the stone. As the Ruby activated and sent out its wave, Loki put a hand on the mortal’s head, sending his own command to over-ride the scepter: _sleep_.

And he found more in there. Beneath the false worship and obedience to Thanos, lay another allegiance: HYDRA.

_Ah, I should tell the others. But then they’ll know where I am. So you get a pass, Jasper Sitwell. I am after bigger prey than you, right now_.

As Sitwell collapsed to the ground, Loki plucked the Ruby from his hand.

Unlike the scepter now, unbearable to wield, the Ruby was warm in his palm, with an allure of power that whispered to him: _Use this, use me, wield this power, these all belong to you now_ …

He folded his fingers around the Ruby and looked at the mortals still scrabbling in the dirt, removing stones from the tunnel entrance. “Open the way,” he commanded. “Hurry.”

Because one thing he knew for sure: the rest of them would get in his way, and he couldn’t let that happen.

When the doorway was cleared of debris, he walked through, safe with the Ruby in his hand. “Let no one enter,” he commanded, and he smiled. “I have gods to kill.”

* * *

 

Tony heard Thor swear as Loki must have escaped his grasp after his angry declaration.

“Thor? Where did he go?” Tony asked.

Thor heaved a sigh. “ _I know not, Iron Man. He has vanished_.”

“ _He must be near_ ,” Sif pointed out. “ _He seeks the Ruby_.”

Thor added heavily, “ _No, he seeks the Soul Gem to battle Thanos. Alone. Though that is foolish and unwise_.” He paused after saying that, as if he expected Loki to say something, but there was silence on the channel. “ _We must find him_.”

“I’ll look for him,” Tony offered. “JARVIS, scan for his comm. He might not know there’s a passive signal.”

“ _Nothing in range, sir_.”

Damn, so either he was farther than that, or he’d dumped his comm. Only one way to find out. “JARVIS, narrow to his channel only. Hey, Reindeer Smurf, you’re not doing this thing, are you? Becaues you don’t have to fight alone. We’re here; we can help. That’s actually why we’re here, you know? That’s what we do….” But there was nothing. “C’mon, buddy, talk to me. Don't make me pull out the horse puns again...”

But still no answer. “Damn it. He got rid of the comm. So we’ll do this the hard way.” He pushed the repulsors to gain altitude. "Can’t be that hard to spot black leather in all this nothingness.”

Or at least so he thought, when scanning the desert floor brought up nothing, even on scans outside the visible light range in case Loki was magicking himself invisible. “Is he somewhere in the village? Inside one of the houses?” he finally mused aloud. “Must be there, somewhere. No where else to hide, if he stayed close.”

JARVIS said, “ _That is not true, sir. We have not scanned one point two kilometers to the East-Northeast of your position in the hills. There are tracks of many people walking in that direction_.”

Tony oriented his body to look, and saw JARVIS was right; the broken plateau, turned into cracks and canyons, had multiple places to hide. And the desert still held traces of people walking that way, which meant they had to be recent or the wind would’ve swept them away.

Activating the comm, he reported, “Activity to the north, in the rocks. I’m going to check it out.”

It took a bit to find it since the rock both hid physical tracks and reflected enough heat to make infrared useless, but he found the box canyon and the dozen people standing guard outside an opening in the rock.

Loki was nowhere to be seen, though someone in a dark suit was on the ground. Tony dove in for a closer look, and immediately was fired upon. He dodged but one bullet hit, slamming into the armor, and sent him tumbling out of control. He was too low to get oriented and back into flight before crashing into rocks. “Ow! Damn it!”

He pushed himself to his feet. “Well, there’s more of them,” he observed dryly. “Guarding a cave entrance of some kind. Loki’s not here.” Tightening the magnification on the man on the ground, he frowned. “Is that Sitwell? JARVIS, can you confirm?”

“ _Yes, sir. Facial recognition matches Agent Jasper Sitwell. He is alive_.”

“But down,” Tony said. “I don’t see anyone else, so let’s assume Loki did it. And he went in the cave.”

Interrupting his musing, Sif said, “ _He’s after the Gem. You must stop him, Iron Man_.”

Tony frowned. “I thought we wanted him to get the Gem, just not go fight by himself?” he asked.

“ _We are not certain Thanos did not plant commands in his mind while he was captive_ ,” Sif said.

“ _Sif_ ,” Thor complained, as if he didn’t entirely agree with her, and then with more alarm, “ _Behind you_!”

There was some fighting noises over the comm and Tony asked, “Need help?”

“ _They freed themselves from Loki’s ice_ ,” Thor explained. “ _I am beset but in no peril. Sif_ \--”

“ _Free. On the way to you, Iron Man_.”

A pair of guards came around the rock, firing their machine guns at him. Rock shrapnel hit him, no bullets, making pinging noises that echoed in the helmet. He made a note to get better noise suppression in the next suit as his ears rang.

He fired the repulsors at the ground at their feet, watched as rock and dirt flew upward, knocking them back. But not far or hard enough, as one got up again and fired at him, so he ducked behind a boulder. “Feel free to hurry. JARVIS, dial down the power by half, let’s see if we can take them out without killing anyone.”

Barton cut in, “ _You need backup? Me and Bruce are hanging out, doing squat_.”

Tony whipped around the rock and pointed the palm of the gauntlet and fired again at the minions. This time, the pair of them flew again, hurled with a resounding and satisfying thud and were not rising immediately.

“Nah, I got it. Help Rogers.”

That assessment was a bit optimistic, as the guards seemed to redouble their efforts, shooting at him, getting smacked around by his repulsors, and rising to do it again. They were persistent, for sure.

Suddenly he heard a cry, and looked up to see Sif flinging herself off the top of the ridge, sword and shield in each hand, to land right in the middle of the tightly grouped guards at the entrance.

He lifted his hands to help her, then put them down again to watch. _Magnificent_ , that was really the only word for it, watching her take them all down, whirling blade and shield in a precise dance. They dropped to the ground, one after another, some unconscious, some still struggling to rise again, but then there was no one left in the way.

Despite her blade, there was little blood on the sand or the guards; she’d used mostly the flat side and the shield as a bludgeon. They weren’t unhurt, but they were down, and alive. Hopefully they could be freed of the spell.

Sif turned to find him, grinning her triumph. “You like to watch, Man of Iron?”

He started to clump over to her, and flipped up the faceplate. “Who doesn’t? I figured you’d ask if you needed help.”

One wakeful guard groaned and reached for his gun, still determined to shoot them. Tony kicked it away, impatiently. “We should probably tie them up.”

“You do so,” she said. “I will track Loki and stop him.”

“Do you really think he’s under some kind of thrall?” he asked. “He didn’t act like he was. And Thor doesn't sound like he agrees.”

“But if he takes the Gem it may be too late to be sure, Man of Iron.” Glancing into the dark maw of the entrance, she bent to take the flashlight out off somone’s belt and took a moment to figure out the mechanism to turn it on. “There. Ward my back, Stark.”

She headed inside, and he stayed put, frowning, while a sick feeling churned in his gut. He put the faceplate back down. “JARVIS.”

“ _Sir_?” came the prompt response.

“Can you get a sensor lock on Loki? Is he inside?”

“ _No, sir. The sensors do not penetrate deeply enough. There is a cavern beneath this location, however; that much is detectable_.”

“Okay, let’s go. I’m not sticking around here, when they’re down there.”

“ _Are you certain this is wise, sir_?”

He scoffed, “Hell no, but I want to see what it looks like down there. Secret tombs, ancient mummies – it’s all very exciting.” He told himself that was why his insides were a churning mess of anxiety and his breaths came a little too rapid, as he walked past what appeared to be an open, stone slab of a door and entered the dark passage.

 

* * *

 

The silence of the tomb was overwhelming. Sunlight feebly reached a little ways from the opening but after that, Loki had to conjure his own, glad he did as the ceiling abruptly lowered. The passage also slanted downward, angling to the right at a wide but constant arc, slowly spiraling deeper underground. Excavated by tools not available to the mortals so long ago, the stone walls were smooth and cool to the touch, unadorned, as he descended.

It should have reminded him of the passages beneath Asgard, especially those near the Chamber of the Winds, but there was nothing familiar about this place, only the heavy weight on his senses of dread.

When he was beneath the entrance outside, the passage turned and abruptly ended, blocked by a carved slab of stone. The massive door held dire warnings, in both hieroglyphs and Asgardian runic script, forbidding entry, warning of something deadly and evil inside, which the wise would let sleep.

“Well,” he spoke aloud and twitched at how his voice was too loud, as if he might wake what was beyond. “I never claimed to be wise.”

There was an opening, exactly the right size for the Ruby, so he pressed it into the gap. The stone door pivoted open, moving with only a soft creaking sound, but surprisingly smoothly for being untouched for millennia.

A rush of stale air rushed out, and he wrinkled his nose. He passed the threshold and lights flickered on, one by one, flames rising from brass braziers taller than he, lighting in pairs thirty paces to the end of the revealed hall. The hall was as tall as the path he had followed downward, hollowed out of the ground.

At the end, on a low dais and illuminated by a circle of the same tall braziers, sat an immense stone sarcophagus.

His boots making a soft click against the floor, Loki approached it. The top edge of the sarcophagus stood as high as his chest, carved all around with warnings not to wake what was within, or risk the end of the world.

But he had no intention of unlocking its contents with the stone he carried in his palm. Instead he followed other markings and went to one knee at the head of the sarcophagus and used the Ruby to open a compartment.

A square depressed into the sarcophagus and rotated away, revealing a box made of translucent crystal sides within. The box was square and small enough to hold in his hand as he plucked it out. It was not the Gem; the Gem was inside the crystal housing so it could be safely touched by those with strength enough to withstand it.

But the housing did little to shield the power. Gods, the power, so much power streaming out from that small box it was a wonder it wasn't as bright as a star.

He caught his breath and closed his eyes, as it rushed through him, a river across all his senses. His hand reached out to open the box, but he pulled it back with a gasp, opening his eyes. Not now, not yet.

Folding his fingers around the box tightly, he stood but paused, as a presence intruded on his senses. "Sif." He called her name, but did not turn. Of course she’d followed him.

"Loki?" she asked. "What are you doing?"

He smiled with bitter humor, unsurprised by the accusation in the tone. Without looking at her yet, he dragged fingers across the edge of the sarcophagus. "Do you know what lies within, Sif? An ancient, fearsome dark force the Greeks named Apokalypsis, for if it were to rise again, it would be Hell on Earth." His smile widened and he touched the hieroglyps of the name. "His name was En Sabah Nur. He was a man, a servant of Thanos, but not mortal. Do you know why he lies trapped within this stone shell with a Gem for company?" He didn't wait for an answer. "Because Bor refused to finish him. Not out of mercy or lack of power, only fear. But I do not share that fear." He laughed once, humorlessly. "I lost it when I learned what I was."

"Loki, what are you going to do?" Sif demanded, and he could tell she hadn't listened to anything he'd just said, or she would know.

He turned, box with the Soul Gem in his hand, and he smiled at her. "I'm going to open a Portal to Thanos and then I will destroy him."

"No!" Sif commanded and took a step closer. "No, Loki, I can't let you take him the Gem."

"There's no other way."

"There is, there has to be. This isn't you, Loki; he's telling you to do this," she said urgently, "You think it's you, but it's not."

He was struck for a moment by what she was saying until he understood. "So much trust then, Sif? Not even my choices are my own?" He gave another bitter laugh. "A monster who can't even decide when to be a monster?"

"No! Loki, no, that's not what I meant. He was in your mind, how can you know--'

"I would know," he cut her off.

"No, you wouldn't, that's the point!" She took a deep breath and declared in a more determined tone, "I can't let you do this, Loki. Put down the box and step away from it."

"I hold the Soul Gem, are you really such a fool?" he asked.

"If you mean what you say, then you won't use it. And if you don't, then it won't matter, will it?" she returned calmly.

That unfortunately was true. "I don't have time to fight you, Sif, stand aside."

She drew her sword. "No. I will not. I will protect Midgard."

He was too weary to be infuriated by her blind resistance and distrust. He shut his eyes, wondering how he could do this. He was tempted to kill her, memories of her betrayal washing through him again and leaving a bitter aftertaste. She had said she would have his back, but that was always a lie, just as he'd thought.

He heard a heavy footstep and then a blast, and startled, he whirled around, to see Sif slumping to the floor in a heap, sword dropping from her hand. Iron Man stood in the doorway, and he lowered his hand, repulsor still glowing. “I assume she’ll wake soon. You better hurry.”

“You… help me?” Loki asked, incredulous.

Stark flipped the faceplate up, brown eyes concerned. “I heard what you said. You’re taking that after Thanos, right? Not _to_ him.”

“Not that she believed me, but yes.”

“Reputations stick, I get that. But you’re gonna fight him, Gem to Gem, and kick his ass, for real, right?”

“No. I intend to pull his soul from his body and crush it,” Loki promised. “So that he will never trouble the universe again.”

“Nice, I like it. So let’s go.”

Loki blinked at the offer to join him, before he recovered. “That is not possible, Tony. Where I go, is no place for a mortal.”

“I have the suit.”

“And that might give you an extra five seconds of life. I must do this alone.” Loki walked past both Sif, moaning softly on the floor, and Tony.

Tony asked, “What was Bor afraid of?”

Loki hesitated, wondering if Tony could accept the truth, but then he decided it was too risky. Iron Man might understand the need, but he was too much like Thor not to try to get in the way. So Loki answered, “The Celestials. He feared using the Gem would attract their attention.” That was what the lore said, but he knew Bor had feared something much simpler. But instead of sharing, Loki scoffed. “As if they care about us lower beings.”

Tony frowned, as if it all didn’t add up, but with a glance at Sif, he said. “Hurry. Go. Just… don’t let her be right.”

“I will not,” Loki promised, fingers tightening on the box and he parted his lips to say some foolish sentimental thing before he shut it again. “Do not touch the sarcophagus. And Sitwell is HYDRA, I saw that when I put him to sleep."

He headed for the archway. As he passed, Tony reached out and touched his shoulder with his gauntlet. “We should help you... At least take Bruce so you're not alone.”

He sounded so sincere something tightened in Loki’s chest that threatened to break his resolve. He jerked free. "He may be needed here." At the door, he looked back over his shoulder, unable to leave it, and said, “Be well, Tony.”

There was a brief pause then Tony shouted after him, “You, too, Reindeer Smurf!”

Loki smiled as he started running up the path to find some open air away from the sarcophagus to cast the portal.

* * *

 

In Asgard, Frigga was seated before her mirror as her maid finished her hair when a commotion at the door drew her attention. Sigyn rushed inside, pushing aside those who would stop her for her interruption. Frigga lifted a hand to tell the guards to let her pass, knowing Sigyn would have a reason.

Sigyn wore the same gown as yesterday, and her braid had started to come loose, so locks of her golden hair framed her face. There was a smudge of dust on her cheek.

"My child, what is it? What brings you in such a rush this morning?"

"Your Grace, I--" she had to stop and inhale a deeper breath, to get herself to calm. "We need to go to Midgard. Or at least I must go to Midgard."

Frigga forwned. "Why?"

"Because we need to stop him."

"Thanos?"

"Loki!" Sigyn corrected her impatiently.

Frigga dismissed the attendants and gestured Sigyn closer. "Tell me. Calmly."

Sigyn nodded and hesistated to focus her thoughts. "When Munin came with Loki's question for the All-father, I thought I should continue my studies of the Gems. With Wulfgar's help I found a text from the days of Bor, when the Gems were last all known. We have to stop Loki from using it, Your Grace. The Soul Gem drains the lifeforce of those who use it directly. It will kill him, and he doesn't know the danger!"

Frigga glanced at her keepsake box where she had put the scrap of paper on which Loki had written his new spell, and smiled in reassurance at Sigyn. "He knows, Sigyn. There is nothing Wulfgar could show you that Loki has not seen already. He will be cautious."

"Then why does he take it?" Sigyn asked, frowing worriedly. “Why is its power now unleashed?”

Frigga straightened, now feeling the first stirring of alarm. “You are certain he has it?”

“I thought to warn him directly, so I tried to scry him. But the Gem’s power hurled me away.” Her hands folded together in an anxious knot before her. “We must go to him, quickly, before it is too late.”

Frigga closed her eyes, despair sliding through her, remembering that bruised spirit she had last touched and barely coaxed to return. She had hoped being with his brother would nurse that ember back to flame, but now she feared it was fading. _Why would you not listen, little one_?

Her eyes opened again, and she repeated, “He knows, Sigyn.”

Sigyn needed only a moment to understand, before she was shaking her head. “No. We can’t let him do this. We have to show him there is another way. Please, your Grace, he is not well, he has not been well since my brother and Thanos hurt him. We must help him before he does this.”

Frigga remembered what she'd promised her younger, more troubled son -- if he fell, she would be there to catch him -- and she rose to her feet. “We will go to the king. Come, Sigyn.”

She beckoned the princess to follow, and they hurried to find Odin.

* * *

 

Loki stood atop the stone, cloaked from mortal eyes. He held the Soul Gem’s box in his hand, and he hesitated. This was the final moment he could refuse to do this. Once the Portal was cast, the battle would begin and the ending was known.

He stared into the brilliant light.

_Reject this and do what instead? Only a Gem can battle a Gem, and if I truly want to remove Thanos from the universe, this is the only way. Anything else was always a fantasy, an illusion born of desire, not truth_.

_If I merely postpone the fight, as Bor did, what then? I return to Asgard, where I belong no better than I did before? Worse, to know it’s true that I am naught but a selfish coward, choosing my own life above everyone else? Trickster, liesmith, all these things they name me – all these things I am merely so they notice I exist at all, when I am no warrior. How much worse will it be once they find out the truth that I could have stopped Thanos and chose not to? How long before they find out my blood and say that is why? How long before everyone knows the truth and they chase me out, disgusted that one of them was hidden among them all along_?

_So in exile, will I brood on my resentment and fall to this weakness in my mind that remembers falsely? Become a worse monster than I am now, hated and reviled until someone finally puts me down like a beast? Or worse, I end up Thanos' hound, chained and mad, for the next thousand years?_

_No. I reject those ends. I should have died in the void – no, go back farther - I should have died on Jotunheim as a baby and never come to Asgard at all_.

_Destruction, death, these are my gifts. They are my fate, I know this. The prophecy was always thus, but I will turn it against Thanos. I will make a better end. And perhaps then I will not be the villain in Thor’s story, but I will have my own_.

Decision made, a weight slipped from him; he was lighter and freer than he’d felt in some time. His blood, his parents, his past, his rash and foolish decisions, the void, his nightmares and broken memories -- none of that mattered anymore.

Settled in his own mind that this was the best path, he summoned the scepter from the reactor box to the ground at his feet. Wielding the power of the Soul Gem through the Ruby, not yet directly, he began to cast the portal, twining it around the scepter’s stone and flung out along its connection to the Mind Gem. And to Thanos.

_I will take the fight to you, Thanos, if I have to rip Sanctuary apart and yank your soul from your body as we fall_.

* * *

 

....

tbc... 

 


	31. The hurricane

Thor worried about the silence from his companions – there was nothing from Sif, Stark, or especially from Loki. It boded ill.

He finished off the enthralled near the dig site by the simple expedient of tossing them into the excavation pit and pulling the sun shade canvas over the top, weighted down by stones he doubted the mortals could lift to trap them inside. “Rogers, Romanoff, I am coming to meet you, I feel our companions may be in danger.”

“ _No need, Thor, we’re finished. We barricaded the courtyard, they should be safe enough for now_ ,” Romanoff answered.

“ _Converge at Stark’s last location in the hills_ ,” Rogers said. “ _There’s no reply to his comm_.”

“ _Me, too_?” Banner asked dubiously.

“ _Everyone_ ,” Rogers confirmed. “ _If Loki’s done something, or if something’s happened, we could need you_.”

The others acknowledged, and Thor launched himself into flight, heading for the rocky rise to the north. He didn’t know what he would find, but silence in battle was never favorable.

* * *

 

After dismissing the petitioners when he noticed Frigga and Sigyn awaiting his attention, Odin listened to their news, brow furrowing with dismay. Frigga felt him cast through the great throne to see for himself.

“Please, Allfather, allow me – “ Sigyn implored.

Frigga interjected, “-- us – “

“-- to go to him before he does this. We need to stop him.”

It took a breath for him to return and say, “No.”

Frigga’s lips parted to draw breath and protest, but Sigyn got there first, “But, no, please! How could you--”

Odin lifted his free hand, halting her words. “ _We_ will go,” he corrected their assumption.

That was scarcely less shocking. “You as well?” Frigga asked.

His eye met hers and he declared quietly, “I will not stand by while our son offers his _life_ to do what my father failed to do.” His voice strengthened. “Einherjar! Bring an aircar, we go to the Observatory.”

On the way, she gripped his arm, to let him know  how grateful she was for this. Odin coming himself would surely indicate to Loki that Odin had meant what he said to Loki before, and that his faith in Loki was undimmed.

The bridge had regrown, and the Observatory itself had started testing that morning, though construction had not quite finished. Heimdall stood ready on the dais. “My king.”

They all flinched at the sense of seidr, and Frigga looked up to see Munin diving for them. Odin held up his free hand for Munin to alight on his arm.

“ _Go, now_ ,” he cawed. “ _The cub makes the portal alone_.”

Odin’s hand tightened on Gungnir, his eye farseeing beyond Asgard, and he said to Heimdall, “To Midgard, to Loki. At once.”

Heimdall nodded and thrust his great sword to activate the Bifrost. As it built power, he asked with careful politeness yet somehow expressing disapproval in his deep voice, “All of you, my king?”

“You must keep Asgard safe, Heimdall. We shall return.”

Seeing that Odin was not to be questioned about this, Heimdall nodded, and Frigga waited impatiently as the Observatory built power enough to send them to Midgard.

* * *

 

Tony stayed back as Sif woke all at once with a gasp, and she forced herself up, grabbing her sword. She looked around hurriedly, noticed Loki’s absence, and then confronted Tony with a very impressive, frightening glower. “You! You dishonorable – You shot me in the back!”

“You pulled your sword on him first,” he accused her. She looked at the weapon as if she had forgotten she had it in her hand, and shoved it in the scabbard at her back.

“You let him take it. If he gives it to Thanos, we will all suffer for that decision!”

Tony rolled his eyes, not impressed with the theatrics. “You weren’t going to stop him, c’mon. Not if that rock is anything close the tesseract in power. Besides, even if you’re right, it’s not like he’s _planning_ to give it to Thanos, it won’t be his choice. What _is_ his choice is planning to battle this guy, all by himself. I thought it was better to send him on his way with a little faith that he can win.”

That seemed to catch something in her, as she hesitated and looked regretful. ”I did promise to ward his back.”

“Then let’s go do that,” Tony suggested.

It turned out to be not that simple. They emerged back into the heat of the glaring sun and sand, to find Thor already there, preparing to go down the tunnel himself. “Sif! Stark! There you are, my friends. Did you see Loki?”

“He was there, he got the Stone, he’s going to fight Thanos,” Tony laid out as concisely as possible, then blinked. “You didn’t see him? He was only a little ahead of us.”

Thor looked around, as if he would see Loki, but no one was visible. Thor’s hand holding Mjolnir sank down to his side. “No. I saw nothing.”

“He intends to fight alone,” Tony added. “Said nobody could help, not even Bruce.” _Or you_ , but Tony didn’t have to say that out loud when Thor got it right away.

Thor tightened his jaw and his fists in frustration, then tilted his head back and bellowed, “LOKI!”

When the echo faded, Tony asked, “Did you really expect him to be all 'I’m over here!'” He waved his hand, forgetting he was wearing the gauntlets so the gesture was ponderous, and even more ridiculous than he’d meant.

Thor folded his impressive arms across his chest, Mjolnir hanging from the wrist strap and he glowered at Tony, unamused. “He is here somewhere. Our parents warned us not to face Thanos alone. I must find him before he does this foolishness.” He started to twirl Mjolnir to prepare to fly.

“He may be concealed from view,” Sif offered. “He can hide his presence.”

“Not when he’s making a portal he can’t,” Tony pointed out. “No way anyone can hide that kind of energy build up. Let’s go, thunderbird.”

He launched first, straight up on the repulsor power. “JARVIS, let’s find him. Infrared first, he may not think to hide beyond the visible spectrum.”

After a moment, while they hovered above the desert, JARVIS replied, “ _I have it, sir_.”

A dot appeared on the HDU in the helmet, and Tony oriented toward it. “There,” he called out to Thor.

In infrared the site was lit up like a person-shaped candle carrying a star, but there was nothing to see with his eyes. The air seemed to waver, though that might have been a heat mirage off the stone of this flat ridge. But there was definitely something there, and that something saw him, too, as something flashed.

He was hurled back, like a giant fist had come out of nowhere to punch him out of the sky. He tumbled, trying frantically to orient himself and was able to use the gauntlets just enough to break his fall moments before he slammed into the rock. _Whoa, dude packs a punch when he tries_.

Shaking his head and climbing back to his feet, he asked, “JARVIS, you okay buddy?”

“ _All systems operational, sir_.”

“Good, cuz I just got punched in the face. After I was so nice to him, too.” But his grumbling was cut off by the sight of a dome that had just appeared, surrounding Loki.

It was about twenty feet high at the crown, and was clear as glass, allowing a perfect view of Loki visible inside. He ignored everything else as he stared into nothing, both hands lifted at his sides while a rainbow shimmer formed before him. It looked as if Loki had put himself inside a snowglobe.

“Loki!” Thor called, approaching on foot, but Loki didn’t react. “Loki, no, brother, you must not!” He swung Mjolnir at the dome, and Tony flinched back, expecting shards to go flying. He expected the hammer to slam into the dome and for cracks to appear, running across the surface, which happened, but he didn't expect the crystal material to flow back together again, until mere seconds later, the dome was unmarred.

Thor stared at it, stunned, and Tony wanted to laugh at his face, because it was obvious that it had never happened before. _Yep, baby bro just leveled up. You’d think winter wonderland New York would’ve been a clue, but I guess he thought it was the Casket_.

Though, thinking about it, Tony realized it could also be the Casket this time, as well. Tony didn’t see it, but he knew Loki had said he had it. Of course, he’d also said he had put the scepter in the ARC reactor case and Tony could see it lying on the ground, so who the hell knew where anything was?

None of that was important, really. Saving Loki from going to fight alone, even though Tony wasn’t sure they shouldn’t let him go himself, that was important. So he decided to add to the force, repulsors firing at the dome. He damaged the surface and watched as it was almost instantly fixed, or really, it looked more as if it was healing itself. “What the hell is it, JARVIS? Glass? Diamond? Is he making it out of the sand?”

“ _Its temperature suggests it is ice, sir. One-point-two meters thick and denser than normal_.”

“With what water? It’s five percent humidity out here, and there’s not a damn cloud in the sky!” Tony demanded.

“ _Unknown_.”

Tony let out a groan of frustration. Damn magic anyway, and its implausible, ridiculous, inexplicable results.

Tony heard noise, and looked around to see Steve, Sif, and Natasha running into view behind him.

“Loki, no!” Thor shouted again and this time called lightning on the ice dome. All it seemed to do was skitter along the surface in a violent display. In pure frustration, Thor threw Mjolnir with a cry, and to Tony’s surprise, the hammer burst through. Loki was caught unawares, so the hammer plowed into him, knocking him away from the portal and off his feet.

He ended sprawled on the ground, briefly stunned, before he pushed himself up on his arms, twisted his head to glare, and spat something infuriated at Thor.

But he didn’t have long to be mad, as the portal formed. Unlike the giant swirly portal over Manhattan, this one formed into the size of double doors. The air twisted, and reality itself split open. On the other side, there was darkness. It was empty space, stars and swirls of color doing nothing to disguise the void, and seeing it made a shiver crawl its way up Tony’s back. He remembered that nothingness, and he really, really didn’t want to see it again.

But then, something blocked that view. Something moved in front of the portal on the otherside, like a shadow covering the opening.

Loki snapped his gaze to it and scrambled backward, on his hands and digging in his heels to get away from the portal. That was alarming because Tony hadn’t thought Loki’s face could look that wide-eyed and panicked. Loki lifted a hand, maybe to attack or close it, but too late, as a man walked through the opening.

No, not a man. He was man-shaped, but so big in stature he filled the portal, and had to duck his head to get through. He was also taller and wider than Thor, and clearly not human with his strangely-colored grey-lavender skin and a large mouth split into a triumphant smirk. He wore massive gold and indigo armor that made him even more into a giant, and his steps were heavy enough Tony could feel the tremor in the ground. Tony didn’t need anyone to tell him that this was Thanos.

Thanos strode out from the portal, like he thought he was Miss America and heard cheers in his head.

He held up one gauntleted fist, displaying the glowing yellow stone embedded in the back of it: the Mind Gem.

They were so screwed.

Utterly without concern, Thanos’ small eyes in the broad face swept over the gathered heroes before returning to Loki as if he was the only one who mattered.

“Give me the stone, pet,” Thanos said, deep voice echoing all around them, despite the ice dome. “And then I will enjoy centuries of punishing you for your betrayal.”

Loki shoved himself up to his feet to confront Thanos. “Never,” he spat. “You end today.”

He thrust his left hand, clutched around a cube that sparked to life. The yellow stone flared in response, forcing Loki back a step.

Thanos moved forward. “You have to do better than that, Frost midget. Jotunn defective,” he sneered. “You lack the will and the strength.”

Outraged on Loki’s behalf, Tony yelled, “Who you calling defective, you freak?” He fired the repulsors through the hole in the ice, and Thanos saw the blast coming. Tony watched, hoping it would hit Thanos in the face, but instead, the power just … vanished. It was as if it didn’t hit him at all, or he absorbed it.

Then, with a truly frightening grin, he thrust his hand in a deliberate echo of Tony’s move and fired an energy blast back.

Steve was suddenly there, flinging himself in between, one arm taking Tony down while the other held the shield over them as that side of the dome shattered and sprayed shards everywhere.

Tony’s mind chattered at him, panicked: _Oh, shit, oh shit, this is why he didn’t want us with him. We’re outclassed. We need Bruce_.

But Bruce wasn't there yet, still on the way from wherever Barton had parked the jet.  _Hurry, Bruce, hurry, or this is ending badly._

Tony pushed upright to see Loki stayed where he was, holding firm, hand extended. The dome was reforming, but not soon enough to prevent Thor from hurling Mjolnir at Thanos.

Thanos caught it. He just reached out and caught the handle in his fist, as if it was an ordinary hammer.

_Dude is not worthy, no way is he worthy of anything. How, how is this possible?_

For a moment there was appalled silence, and Thanos burst into laughter at their faces. “Ignorant boy. You hear your own tales so often you believe them. The universe bows to my will, and so will you.”

He hurled Mjolnir at Thor, who didn’t seem as if he was going to get out of the way. He just stood there, staring at this betrayal, and Loki yelled, “Thor!”

Steve reacted, threw the shield to deflect Mjolnir from hitting him.

The ice wall reformed, growing upward so quickly Tony knew it was deliberate. Loki was keeping them out. Thanos watched this, and laughed. "Shall I have you kill them slowly, pet, or perhaps I will make them my slaves and have their only task be to cause you pain." Loki's eyes flicked down at the ground, not far from Thanos’ feet, but Thanos noticed. "Oh, you want this?” Thanos purred, glancing down. “You want to use my gift to channel the Soul Gem to me. That was your plan? Fool.”

His huge boot came down on the end of the scepter, crushing its jewel. It exploded, throwing air and debris out in the force of it, but when it passed, Thanos stood there, untouched.

He kicked the golden haft away negligently. “I have the power, boy. I will rule the universe, and I will peel your skin off while you howl.”

He took another step closer to Loki, who stood still, staring at him, lips peeled back in a grimace of determination as the cube in his hand grew brighter, and the Mind Gem did, too.

The ice wall rose up high enough and started to curve inward again to enclose the battle.

Thor looked to where Mjolnir sat on the ground and held out his hand hesitantly, afraid it would no longer come at his call, but it flew straight back to him. Then, jaw clenched, he started to pound on the wall again. Either his fury and fear were greater, or the ice was weaker, because great chunks were falling off and not being fixed as quickly as before.

“What the hell is going on?” Bruce asked, breathless and dripping with sweat, as he and Barton finally ran up.

“Need you,” Steve said tersely. “He’s not letting us in to fight.”

Loki glanced their way, and Tony read the alarm there, as he saw Bruce. The minute Bruce hulked out, they were going to get through the wall and interfere in his battle.

And it occurred to Tony belatedly that he was protecting them. Something had to be protecting them from the full force of the Mind Gem, and that something had to be Loki.

He was about to tell the others they were making this harder for him, and the team should retreat.

But it was too late. Loki turned his gaze back to Thanos and his eyes narrowed. Without a word, only a long inhalation of breath, his face went calm. He held the small box in his left hand higher. His fingers tightened, crushing the box between them, until he held the naked gem in his fist. It streamed like a star through his fingers, so bright Tony could barely see him.

“NO! YOU FOOL!” Thanos bellowed for the first time sounding urgent. And Loki smirked at the sound of fear in Thanos' voice.

The yellow gem brightened, its power focused on Loki in a tight beam, as Thanos tried to defend himself with its power, but he and Loki were both cocooned in the Soul Gem’s power. All other light seemed to dim, and when Tony glanced upward, he saw the sky itself had grown dark because storm clouds were gathering.

Loki was able to push forward with small steps toward Thanos, jaw now clenched with effort.

Thanos leaned back, but couldn’t seem to move his feet, rooted in place, watching as Loki came for him.

Tony didn’t know how he could possibly hear anything with Thanos roaring, Thor shouting and the ice crashing down to the sand, but he heard Loki murmur, “You will haunt my dreams no more.”

He extended his hand, seeming to push against some resistance, inch by inch, forcing his hand closer to Thanos’ armor.

Lightning flashed, blinding and yet oddly colorful, as Tony ducked, thinking the Gems were exploding or something. But he saw he was wrong, as Thor shouted, “Father!”

Standing to the side, were two tall, beautiful blonde women in long dresse and an old man wearing an eyepatch, beard, gold armor, a cape, and a raven, and carrying a long spear. They had not been there a moment before, and Tony shook his head sharply to clear it. So that had been the Bifrost, apparently.

Their attention was only on Loki and Thanos. “LOKI!” Odin commanded, his voice booming. “RELEASE IT.”

But Loki didn’t seem to notice they were there, glaring at Thanos, his jawline sharp with determination.

He forced his hand closer, and luckily the visor was filtered because otherwise Tony wouldn’t see anything, as the two Gems glowed so brightly, turning everything into the negative of itself. At first it seemed they were equal, but the Mind Gem could not overcome its cousin stone as Loki touched them together.

Power exploded, sand and heat hurled outward, and Tony threw himself back, hiding his visor behind his arm. When he could see again, he watched Thanos topple backward onto the stone with a thud that made the ground shake once.

Loki stood there, victorious. But his hand dropped to his side, the Gem tumbling from his fingers. For a breathless moment he stood motionless. The air hung heavy, the silence harsh on the ears.

All at once, with a shimmer and flare, the ice vanished, leaving nothing behind as if it had never truly been there at all. Thor, who was pressing against it, stumbled with its lack. “Loki!” he shouted.

But Loki did not hear. He crumpled to the ground and was still.

* * *

 

When he felt the Bifrost, Thor looked up, hoping – nay, praying – that it was help from Asgard.

But when he saw his father there, with his mother, he knew there was more peril than he had understood. And when his father shouted at Loki and his mother’s expression was anguished, he knew it was worse.

Loki won, he won, but then he lost, collapsing to the ground. The frantic words burst from Thor’s throat, “Loki! No!”

Terror beat a furious rhythm in his chest, as he ran across the stone to get to his brother. _Not again, not again, you promised, Loki, why did I believe you? You have to be all right, you’re just exhausted, but you’ll be well again_.

He threw himself down to the ground, beside Loki, who lay on his front, hair spread out, and limbs in limp disarray.

His hand was near Thor, and Thor saw pale bluish skin and dark fingernails. _No, no, no, he’s all right, he is only weary_ … Thor reached out to touch his hand, fingers shaking, as if this was illusion and it would dissolve as soon as he touched it. But no, cool skin met his fingers.

Their mother knelt on the other side. “No, little one,” she whispered. “Not like this...”

Thor looked up and saw her eyes wide and liquid with grief. “Mother? He… he’ll be fine? He is weary and needs rest…. “

She didn’t hear him, as she smoothed the black hair and blue skin. “Loki, no, why? Please, not here, not now...”

Her fingers moved his hair, enough for Thor to see the side of his face. His head was angled to the side, and his red eyes were slitted open, but fixed and staring, empty. Munin had landed on the sand near him and hopped close to nudge his head against Loki's cheek, as if trying to rouse him.

" _Cub_?" Munin asked. But there was no answer.

And Thor knew. _No, this cannot be, not again_.

But it was true, undeniable, lying there on the ground before him. His brother was gone. Finally, it was no trick, no deception, no mistake – Loki was dead.

Odin’s voice called him to the present, heavy with grief himself, yet still strong with warning. “Thor! Rise and defend.”

“Father, what--” Thor started, but then saw it.

In the sky, dark clouds that had gathered from the battle, now shimmered with power. Even from here, as unskilled with seidr as he was, he could feel the strength leaching from above. The very air seemed to vibrate with it.

“Celestials,” the unknown woman breathed in awe.

Frigga’s wet eyes lifted and her lips parted in wonder. “They have him,” she murmured and her eyes lit with a strange hope. Her hand darted across Loki’s body to seize Thor’s hand in hers in a crushing grip. “Thor, they have him.”

In disbelief he looked from her to the sky, wondering if it could possibly be true. Was that body an empty shell, because the Celestials took everything else of Loki? And if so, did that mean he could return?

Still holding hands, they rose to their feet, and Thor called Mjolnir to grip the haft firmly in his other hand.

Loki had confronted Thanos without fear, and Thor could do no less for him. Face turned up to the sky, he challenged the cosmic power above, without flinching, and he vowed: “Then I will take him back.”

"No, Thor," Sif said, from where she stood near to Frigga. " _We_ will take him back."

With a clunk and whirr of machinery, Iron Man moved up next to Thor and said, "We're Avengers. Let's avenge."

 

* * *

... tbc... 


	32. Ascending

This was… unexpected.

Loki looked around, confused and puzzled. He’d been using the Soul Gem; he’d known he would perish in the attempt and he’d felt the Gem scouring his lifeforce from him as he’d finished the battle.

He’d expected to end. Not come here. Wherever and whatever this place was. Valhalla? He’d never believed Valhalla existed as anything but wishful thinking by brave warriors who wanted a reward for dying in useless battle. And this certainly did not resemble Valhalla of the stories.

So, if not Valhalla, where was he?

There was an odd golden mist all around him, bright, but without any light-source. He seemed to be standing on something, but there was merely the same glowy mist beneath his feet.

When he tried to call his magic, nothing happened. Sweeping his fingers through the mist, he felt nothing, as if it wasn’t there at all. When he concentrated to feel his body, he felt no heart beating, and he needed no breath. This was not his body, then, not truly, only a metaphysical representation of it to help his mind cope with his consciousness traveling here.

Dreamscape? Netherworld? Had he managed to trap his soul _inside_ the Soul Gem somehow? That would be terrible if he was stuck here, forever aware and forever in the void again.

But this strange place was not empty.

The voices slammed into him like a comet: unbearably strong, a chorus arising from all directions, straight into his mind and it drove him to his knees.

YOU BELONG TO US.

Hands clasped over his head, uselessly, Loki shook his head in refusal and denial.

WE SAVED YOU. YOU BELONG TO US. SUCH BEAUTIFUL POWER.

YOU WILL KNOW THE UNIVERSE. JOIN US.

BE WITH US. JOIN WITH US. BE ONE WITH US.

He wanted to scream under the pressure of the multitude. The vast strength of them gathered around him, overwhelming his senses.

The part of him that exulted in the power hungered to accept their offer. He wanted to feel that strength, to let it be a part of him. He could become a god in truth.

To be with them, not alone. Not ever again. To belong. Yes, he wanted that, but at the cost of forgetting Loki? Because he knew once he was subsumed into their whole, he would lose himself in it. There would be no Loki anymore.

Not that being Loki was such a wonder, but he was himself. Singular creature in all of creation that he was, he would not give it up to be nothing. He had finally done something good, something worthy, and he would rather die as Loki, than be consumed and turned into something else.

“No.” He struggled to speak, but didn’t have to; they read his mind and knew his intent, as he decided it himself. “I… pass.”

It was as if he said nothing. His rejection changed nothing.

BE WITH US. JOIN US. BE ONE.

Their strength sought to bury him, or press all that he was into powder until he dissolved. “No. No, please...”

Eyes formed in the mist – hundreds of eyes, some humanoid, some animal-like, some so alien he could barely see them – and stared at him.

And he heard: YOU WILL.

* * *

 

Tony knew Loki was dead as his body hit the ground. There was no resistance in the collapse, only emptiness.

Sounding subdued, JARVIS confirmed in his ear, “ _I detect no heartbeat or breath, sir_.”

Staring at the body, Tony felt this was his fault. He’d let Loki go and not listened when he’d said he had to do this alone, so he’d sacrificed himself to protect the others and stop Thanos.

 _Damn it. If I hadn’t helped Thor find him, this wouldn’t have happened_.

He walked closer to look, and it got worse, as he saw the blue skin and bit of red eyes again. Only in death was Loki willing to reveal his true face again. _Oh, God, Reindeer Smurf, I am so sorry_.

His shock was broken as suddenly Odin – had to be Odin with the one eye and big spear and commanding voice – slammed the butt of his spear against the stone. “No,” was all he said, and though his voice was quiet, it echoed across the desert.

Lightning leaped from the tip of the spear and up into the sky, sustained into a narrow fountain of energy like a beacon up to space, as the air took on the smell of ozone and fresh rain as a chill wind stirred. The wind grew in strength, and the clouds gathered, turning dark and heavy in an ever-growing storm.

Tony watched, anxiety clutching at his insides at the display. Everyone else took several steps back, though there was nowhere to go far enough to escape.

Thor, he could write off as simply super strong, not that different from Rogers. Loki could do weird stuff, but he had some rather obvious weaknesses, too. Neither were "real" gods.

This, this was a god. And this particular god was _pissed off_.

As the winds increased and the clouds above them began to swirl in a circular pattern out to the horizon, Odin tapped his spear on the ground again. The ground shook in response, nearly tossing Tony from his feet. He exchanged a glance with Steve, who held up a hand to keep everyone back, not that anyone looked enthused to move.

Day turned to night, the sun hidden behind the storm, and lightning flashed in the clouds.

In a voice that rolled across the sand, Odin thundered, "NO. I refuse this. You have stolen what does not belong to you. You interfere where you have no right. He is not yours and I will not allow this."

Tony had heard the other hot blonde woman say Celestials, but he didn’t know if that meant they were actually there. Or was Odin yelling at Death? Because he sure didn’t see anyone up there in the clouds.

But then he saw and wished he hadn't.

A column of fire leaped from the clouds down to ground, towering twenty feet high to dwarf the Asgardian king. The fire rolled and churned like something alive, and within it there was the unsettling impression of multiple bodies, wings, and faces in the surging and twisting flames. Tony suddenly understood why people in the Bible had been afraid of angels, because this thing was terrifying. Tony swallowed, staring at it and shaking with adrenaline.

The angelic being answered, in a voice that echoed with a thousand voices and bass drums inside Tony's head, not in his ears, " _Release us_.”

Odin glared fearlessly at the fire being. “Return my son.”

“ _He is ours. In recompense for our creation_.”

Tony wanted to fall down and cover his ears to block out the sound, but that wouldn't actually help.

Somehow Frigga resisted the overpowering force of it and went to her husband's side, raising her head to address the creature, "No! There is no recompense. Thanos was _yours_ to destroy, yours to make amends for the suffering he has caused in the universe. Yet Loki chose to make that sacrifice to end him, instead. He belongs with his family and with his people, not with you."

Tony felt a shock as he understood what had happened - Loki had tried to sacrifice himself, but this _thing_ had taken him instead.

The entity seemed unimpresed. " _He is ours_.”

Thor held Mjolnir high, furious. "He is not; he is my _brother_! Release him!"

" _He will join with us, be one with us forever. His fate is sealed_."

"Then we will open it!" Sif shouted. "He shall not be trapped with you forever! Set him free!"

One way trip. Kidnapped into some intergalactic, interdimensional cult of creatures who obviously didn't give a damn about lesser folk.

Steve, who disliked bullies of all kinds including cosmic ones, called out, "He owes you nothing! Thanos was your mess to clean up."

Tony was, to his own surprise, the first to attack. "Let him go, you angelic son of a bitch!" He fired his repulsors, full strength, straight at the column of fire.

Everyone else joined him in the attack - from the storm brought by a god to an exploding arrow. With a tremendous roar, Hulk leaped into the fray pounding at the column of fire as if it had substance.

It seemed to work for a moment, and then the Celestial flared, exploding outward, and hurling all but Odin and Frigga off their feet into the sand.

She was uncowed. "LOKI!" she shouted and held up both hands to the Celestial. "Come home!"

Tony saw a roiling on the surface, like a seething mass of piranha in the fire. Was that Loki trying to get out of there?

The Celestial leaped upward, trying to get away with its prize, but Odin's beacon of pure energy was still there, and the hurricane was still above and all around, sweeping the outer edges and holding the Celestial beneath it.

The multitude of eyes and faces turned on Odin, dangerous and angry. " _You meddle in forces beyond you, Aesir_."

"You meddle with my son. I have no choice." Odin staggered a step, holding the Celestial, until Frigga grabbed his hand in hers and he straightened, renewed. They stood side by side, and they called together in deafening command: "Loki!"

The movement was more definitive then, a desperate struggle under the surface, and this time everyone saw it.

"ATTACK!" Steve yelled.

A ton of roaring green rage hurled itself the Celestial, pounding at it with both huge fists.

Natasha looked at Tony and shouted, "Pull him out!" She started firing her guns right at the Celestial, searching for some kind of weak spot.

Was she nuts? She had to be nuts, but so was he.

So while the others had the Celestial’s attention, Tony launched himself up in the air. He scanned hurriedly, looking for that mass of energy fighting to free itself.

There. Something like a hand emerged - not flesh, but a shape like one -- until it was pulled under again.

 _You aren't going to do this, Tony, are you?_ He asked himself, even as he rocketed straight for it. _Yep, I’m gonna do it_.

Repulsors pointed full strength ahead of him with the vague idea of clearing the way, he headed for the spot.

It felt like hitting a brick wall at a hundred miles an hour. But he reached inside, trying to grab… something… anything.

* * *

Loki fell.

Not into the dark, but into its opposite. Power and brilliance all around, burning him away, evaporating his spirit, until eventually it would pull him apart into their greater whole. But it no longer mattered. He had paid the price, and he had won. The Nine Realms would be kept safe from Thanos and from him; and he would avoid madness, avoid endless torment after death, and avoid ever creating the prophesied doom. He would simply cease to be.

It seemed a decent bargain. Better than the fool’s one he had made to conquer Midgard, at least. What more was there? There was nothing left, no reason to fight. And for the last time, he was about to let go and let them take him.

“ _Loki! Come home_!”

Someone was calling his name. It was from a great distance, but his name gave him enough sense of self to realize the person calling was Frigga. She was calling his name, and it reminded him of _who_ he was, when that had grown diffuse. She was telling him he could come home.

Beyond her, he heard Odin. And Thor. Was that Sigyn? Was she here, too? And once he concentrated, he could hear the green monstrosity roar. Others more faintly, but there, too. They were fighting. They were trying to free him.

They _wanted_ him to come back. Maybe he could. Maybe there was more for him, after all.

Maybe there was still hope.

He struggled, to bring himself together and pull free of all the greedy mouths and sharp claws that sought to carve him apart and consume him utterly.

They were everywhere, around him and in him, trying to chip away at him, piece by piece. He fought, but he was weakened by the fight against Thanos, and they were a singularity, pulling him into the maw. There was no direction in this formless brilliance, no paths, no gates, no escape. He was losing, he was going to be pulled apart.

JOIN US. YOU WILL JOIN US. 

There was no way out. The bitter irony was that now he wanted to escape, but he couldn’t. _Amma, help me_. He was drowning, and he couldn’t find the air.

Then he sensed a shadow against the light. There was something different; something coming toward him. It was seeking him. He fought to touch it, struggled against the forces that held him, and reached.

It was the faintest brush, like the touch of a butterfly's wing against his fingertip, but it was enough.

Tony Stark. It was unmistakable. Fierce determination, raw courage, strength of spirit enough to reach inside the infinite recesses of the Celestial and find Loki.

With that touch, Loki found an anchor and a direction, and hurled all that he was upward through the tiny gap that Tony had made.

For the first time in too many years, Loki chose to stop falling, and he flew.

* * *

...

...tbc... 

 


	33. Released

Thor watched as Tony dove straight at the Celestial.

The red and gold armot hit it, there was a blinding white flash from the point of impact, and then Iron Man plummeted helplessly. Thor would have tried to catch him, but the Celestial _shrugged_ again, hurling them all away from it.

Thor rolled to shake it off and called Mjolnir from one knee. In mid-air, Hulk transformed back into Banner who hit the sand with frightening thump. Natasha and Barton were laid out in the sand, and Steve and Sif crouched behind his shield. Sigyn and Frigga flanked Odin, their hands extended and a web of energy between their fingers as a protective shield in front of them, while the fountain of energy still rose from Gungnir.

Thor was about to launch a new attack, when the Celestial addressed Odin again with a touch of surrender in its overpowering voice. " _It is done. Release us_."

Odin glanced at Loki's body, and with a touch of hope, Thor snapped his gaze to follow. Frigga gasped and tore herself free, to throw herself back down to Loki's side, flinging sand into the air. "Loki?" He didn't respond, but from the joyful look on her face, he was back.

Odin glared up at the Celestial but then the brilliant energy flaring from his spear's tip slowed and stopped. "Then we are agreed. Do not interfere with my sons again, and you may go."

For a moment, threat hung over the field of battle, and Thor was desperately afraid the Celestial would strike his parents down for their temerity. But instead the Celestial dispersed, energy arcing up into the sky and vanishing.

Odin fell to one knee, and Thor rushed to his side. "Father!"

Grip on the spear tight, Odin rested for a moment, leaning into Thor, then straightened, "Let us see what we have wrought."

Thor helped him rise and gave him an arm to steady his steps back to Loki in time to hear Loki draw a breath through his parted lips. Frigga's hand caressed his hair, smiling tearfully as she looked up to Thor and Odin. "He's back."

Thor knelt across from her and kissed Loki on the forehead – his skin was cool and Jotunn, but not the cold and slack of death – before he caught his mother's hand, to hold and press it for a moment, sharing their relief.

Surprising them all, Loki's eyes flickered open. For the first time, Thor looked on those red eyes and felt nothing change inside himself-- he didn’t tense, didn’t want to flinch back, and didn’t have to remind himself that was Loki in spite of the eyes; instead, he saw only Loki, his brother.

Loki focused only on Frigga's face, as her hand returned to his hair. His voice was hoarse and sounded very weak and young, "Amma, I had a bad dream."

She smiled at him, tears slipping down her cheeks. "I will take you to my garden, little one; no bad dreams may enter there."

His eyes closed again before she finished speaking, as if her voice or presence was all the reassurance he needed. And he slept.

* * *

Frigga watched Loki anxiously, to be sure he continued to breathe. The Celestial had returned him, but he looked suddenly gaunt, with hollow eyes and cheeks, as if death had not quite relinquished its grip on him.

Sigyn hovered behind her, watching him, too. Realizing she and Thor were not acquainted, Frigga lifted her free hand to indicate the girl. “Thor, this is Sigyn, Durn’s daughter, who has come to stay with us in Asgard.”

Thor looked up from Loki, and found a smile at her. Frigga was pleased that he didn’t ask why she didn’t look Svartalfar; Loki must have told him about her already.

“Sigyn. Well met. I thank you for your care of him,” he indicated Loki with a nod of his chin. “He speaks well of you, and I look forward to a long acquaintance.”

“You, as well, Your Highness.”

He shook his head, smile changing to kindness. “Nay, there is no need for such between friends.” He was soon distracted as Captain Rogers approached.

“Hey, Thor. Ma'am. Tony’s still down, Nat’s tending him, but… it doesn’t look good. And Bruce… uh, shifted back. So I was wondering if he could borrow your cape?”

Frigga saw Sigyn’s eyes turn to find Bruce Banner, sitting in the sand, and quite apparently naked. But this news about Tony Stark was unsettling when he had tried to help in such a brave fashion. She stood. “Sigyn, if you would watch over Loki, I will attend to Tony Stark.”

Sigyn took her place next to Loki, and Frigga made her way to where the redheaded Natasha was kneeling next to Tony Stark. She greeted the other woman with a nod, and extended a hand over him to test his aura. His lifeforce was fading, close to death. But as when Loki’s had faded in the treasury and Odin had held it, so too could Frigga clasp Tony Stark’s. Such a fragile mortal life, a candle flame easily snuffed out, but at least this time, she was not too late. She held it in her power, as it grew stronger again.

His eyes flickered open, looking blankly up at the sky, then he groaned. “Did anyone get the number of that bus?” he asked nobody in particular, but she could sense the attempt at humor.

His head turned toward her. “Hey,” he said to her, “You’re Loki and Thor’s mom, right? Because, damn. I’d invite you to my penthouse, but even I think that’d be weird.”

She smiled, more amused than offended. “You will be well, Tony Stark. And you have my thanks for attacking the Celestial and trying to help Loki.”

Tony seemed more alert then, blinking and pushing himself up on one elbow. “Did it-- did it work? Is he--?”

“He is returned, and he lives. Rest,” she urged him, resting her fingers on his forehead and pushing lightly. “There is time.”

Footsteps in the sand brought Captain Rogers as well. “You okay, there, Tony?” he asked.

Pleased his friends were there to keep him company, Frigga rose back to her feet and surveyed what was left of the field of battle. Odin stood, leaning heavily on Gungnir above Thanos’ body, but was well. Thor, his cape now wrapped around Banner, was helping the transforming mortal to his feet. That had been interesting to observe; while transformations were fairly common, one so extreme was rare.

A red gleam in the dirt caught her eye and she bent, to find the access key to the Soul Gem had broken in half. She gathered both pieces and slipped them into her mantle pocket to dispose of them on Asgard. They seemed inert, but only a fool would leave such a thing. She glanced at the broken scepter’s haft, thinking how much easier helping Loki would have been after his return if that had come home with him.

That made her wonder where the Soul Gem was, and she wanted to make sure no one touched it, in its unprotected state.

Sigyn knelt by Loki, but watching what Frigga was doing, and she flicked her eyes deliberately at the ground to her left to let Frigga know where it was. She would protect it, and Frigga’s worry eased.

Meanwhile, Sif and the archer stood nearby, both seemed uneasy though for perhaps different reasons.

Barton was looking at Thanos and the small stone in his gauntlet. Barton swallowed. “Is he-- dead? Or de-souled? Or… what?”

“He is dead, mortal,” Odin stirred himself to answer. “Once the Gem took his soul’s power, Loki killed him so he could not be brought back. Only his flesh remains.” He shook his head slowly, and his good eye turned back to Loki. “He intended to achieve the impossible, and he did.”

Sigyn murmured, “He knew the price for using the stone unprotected was his own life. He could not have known the Celestials would interfere nor be able to return him to us.” She was drawing a lock of Loki’s hair through her fingers gently, and Frigga smiled, doubting that Sigyn was even aware of the consoling gesture. But it was good that she did not hesitate to touch his Jotunn form, and hopefully he felt it even in his rest.

“We truly are fortunate,” Frigga agreed, resting a hand on Sigyn’s golden hair lightly in thanks, and cast her gaze at the others who were gathering, all subdued and battle-weary, but alive and well. “And all of you helped us force the Celestial to release him.”

“Yeah, what was that thing?” Steve asked, helping Tony hobble closer. “I mean, Loki told us the Celestials made the Gems, but he said they were gone.”

“Yes, so we believed,” Frigga answered. “They have not been observed on this plane in some time. They evolved beyond all of us long ago. But … “ she glanced at the Soul Gem, glowing brightly not far, “now I wonder if perhaps that Gem was meant as a trap. Or a beacon. It seems they wished to take anyone with the capacity to use the naked stone.”

“Not merely take, but consume,” Odin corrected. “My father feared their interest. But only now I understand why.” He heaved a weary sigh. “We must remove the Gems and what remains of Thanos from Midgard. The temptation to harm is too great.”

“Especially when we know Hydra’s still around,” Tony reminded his team. “Loki told me Sitwell’s one of them, and he was whammied by the scepter.”

“Mother, what of those mortals afflicted by the Gems?” Thor asked. “Is there help for them?”

She was proud of him for asking, but when she saw Odin’s slight head shake that matched her own knowledge, she had to answer, “Sadly none I know of, but it may be Loki’s experience will give him new insight. For now, they must be kept safe and well, and we will find what more may be done to help,” she promised. “With the Bifrost repaired, there will be closer contact between this Realm and Asgard.”

She said so, without Odin’s confirmation, but knew he agreed, or at least surrendered to the inevitable, when he did not reject the idea. Perhaps he was softening to the idea of involvement finally.

Odin commanded, “Sif, remove Thanos’ gauntlet and pick up the Soul Gem. Do not touch it with flesh or cloth.”

“No, no, don’t use that, it looks nasty,” Tony suggested, and stripped off one of his gauntlets instead, holding it out for her. “Here, take this instead.”

She offered him a nod of thanks and put it over her own hand, before kneeling down to gingerly pick up the glowing jewel. It seemed impossible that such a small thing could do so much harm, but Frigga could feel its power, a lure to the unwary.

“Thor, carry Loki and we will depart,” Odin continued.

Thor slid hands beneath him, gathering him against his body and climbed to his feet. Loki stirred at the motion, waking with a soft moan. The blue tone faded from his skin, and his eyes were normal-colored again when they opened. Frigga was glad to see it, as it meant he had some strength left to him despite what was obvious exhaustion.

Sigyn, however, frowned to see the change, and her lips parted to object, before she reconsidered and kept quiet.

“Thor?” Loki whispered as if he was unsure who held him or whether he was awake.

“Hush, brother,” Thor urged, “we depart for home.”

Blinking himself more alert, Loki objected, “I can stand. Put me down.”

Thor’s expression doubted that was a good idea, but he didn’t argue. Setting Loki down, Thor kept one hand around his back so he was ready when Loki’s knees folded like a newborn foal’s the moment they took any of his weight. “I have you, Loki.” He pulled Loki’s arm across his shoulders, keeping the other arm tight around him, so even though he was too weak to stand, Thor kept him upright.

“Oh,” was all Loki could manage to say at first, fighting to catch his breath. “The air is so heavy.” He didn’t resist Thor’s help again, and Frigga thought it likely Thor would need to carry him when they had to move anywhere. But for now he was braced against Thor, so he could see where he was and who else was nearby.

With belated attention, Loki saw Sigyn, and his lips quirked up in a small but genuine smile. “I heard you,” he told her. Then he turned his head to look at each one of them gathered in that desert, and he was frowning in weary confusion. “I heard… I heard all of you. Fighting for me. And you--” his gaze reached Tony, and he held out his free hand toward Tony.

His fingers were shaking with the effort. “You. Brought me back.”

* * *

 

tbc...

 


	34. Parting Clouds

Tony thought someone should tuck Loki into bed right away because he looked like he’d been on a four-day bender that ended in a hospital, but when their eyes met, Tony didn’t say it. He reached out with his bare hand to clasp Loki’s in his own.

Standing and talking proved too much for him, as Loki's knees buckled and he sagged in Thor’s grip. His eyes fluttered, but he blinked and focused on Tony’s face again, forcing himself to stay awake. He insisted, clenching his teeth and giving short panting breaths, "Why? Why did you risk yourself? For _me_?"

 _For someone as awful as me_ , was the subtext there, clear as the sunlight beating down on them again as the clouds parted. Tony wondered what to say, how to answer, and then smiled at him and gave a bit of a shrug. "Friends don't let friends get kidnapped. By anybody, even cosmic angel things."

Loki’s lips shaped the word "friends", and he frowned as if he wasn't sure what it meant. Tony tightened his grip to let him know he wasn’t being sarcastic. Loki’s answering smile was faint and weary, but genuine, as he seemed to accept that Tony meant it. In that moment, all the difficulty and pain were worth it, just to see Loki’s spark of happiness at being named someone’s friend.

Tony smiled back at him and gave his hand another squeeze, as it started to tremble with weakness. “I’m glad you’re back.”

“Because you...” Loki's voice faded, "All of you… I heard you call. I owe you...."

"You don't owe us anything," Steve declared firmly. “You tried – hell, you did – you laid down your life to stop Thanos. To save everybody. That’s a sacrifice we all honor, Loki."

Tony wasn’t sure if Loki actually heard, since his eyes rolled back and he went limp, passing out again. This time he seemed more deeply unconscious, so Thor reached down to scoop up Loki’s legs to carry him. It looked ridiculous with those long legs dangling over Thor’s arm, and Loki’s coat hanging down. Tony set his hand on his stomach so it wouldn’t dangle.

Thor glanced at his father, who nodded and commanded, "We will return to Asgard."

Frigga touched Loki's forehead to check him, and once reassured he was only asleep, she looked at Tony. He froze warily. He remembered this beautiful ageless goddess who had healed him with her touch, and his mouth refused to make the usual defensive words under the calm wisdom of her eyes.

She smiled at him. "I thank you - all of us do. You saved him. What you did gave him a way home, at the risk of your own life."

He had the uneasy feeling it actually had cost him his life, or very nearly, and she'd brought him back. But her expression didn't give it away, if she had. He realized Frigga was quite tall, when she had to bend down to kiss his cheek and then cradle it in her palm. Ridiculously, he had to blink back tears at the gentleness in her touch, as he recalled being young and his mother kissing him goodnight. He swallowed it back and joked, “Well, I do a lot of dumb things, ask anybody.”

She shook her head, smiling at him. "Go home to your beloved," Frigga advised him kindly. "She awaits you anxiously, and you will heal best with love. But you are forever welcome in Asgard for what you have done this day."

He managed a short nod of acceptance, unable to find his voice.

She approached Bruce, who had made a toga out of Thor’s cape. "We may heal your affliction, if you wish, Doctor Banner, and separate you from the beast. Or, help you control it."

"You can do that?" he asked in astonishment.

"I can," she answered, and glanced at Loki. "Not at this moment, but when Loki recovers and I might have his aid, yes."

"I, well, I--" Bruce glanced at Tony, who shrugged, and Bruce looked back to her. "I don't know … the Other Guy - he's been useful…"

She nodded. "You need not choose now." She looked then to Rogers, Romanoff, and Barton, who were standing all together. "And thank you for accepting him, in spite of his previous behavior. He was lost, and you helped him remember who he is. That is perhaps the best gift anyone can give to another.”

“I hope he’ll be okay,” Rogers said.

“He will be, with time,” she reassured him. “And time is something of which the universe will have a bit more now. Fare you well, Midgardians.”

"We depart,” Odin commanded, as he walked with slow steps nearer to Thanos, with the other golden-haired beauty giving him her shoulder to rest his free hand on. “Gather here. The rest of you, take ten steps back. Now."

No one disobeyed that voice as the tip of Gungnir began to glimmer. Tony and the others moved back, clearing the area in a wide circle around the Asgardians and Thanos’ body.

Sif raised her free hand and called to Steve, "Another time we will duel!"

He grinned. "You bet!"

"Fare you well, friends," Thor called. "Until we meet again."

There was a brilliant burst of colors, a rainbow flash of lightning that slammed into the ground, and it snatched them away. It left only a wide charred, flattened circle in the dirt and they were gone.

"Well," Tony started with no idea what else to say. "I guess we won."

"We won," Steve confirmed with a chuckle, as he stripped back his hood and ran a hand through sweaty hair. "Nobody's ever going to believe what we won _against_ , though."

Which was true enough. Two burnt circles, the golden handle of the scepter, and dispersing storm clouds were all that remained of the fight against an ancient god-like invader and an even more ancient angel of power.

“We should call Director Fury,” Natasha suggested. “We’re gonna need clean up.”

Tony remembered a deep hole and a sarcophagus and suggested, “Yeah, and let’s collapse that tunnel before they get here. The gem’s gone, but--” Looking around, he realized he was the only one left who knew that there was something – someone – still down there, asleep. And he sure wanted to keep it that way. So he added, “Who the hell knows what else is down there? Just in case.”

Steve nodded. “You have enough explosives to take care of it?” he asked.

He thought of the ARC reactor in the quinjet and shook his head in mock despair. “Oh, Boyscout, it’s like you don’t know me at all.”

“All right, fine,” Steve agreed, with a shake of his head. “You take care of that. The rest of us will follow back to the village.”

"Some clothes would be nice, too," Bruce suggested wryly, tugging his toga-cape over his shoulders again.

"Now we know what that cape's good for, besides flapping heroically." Tony was disappointed Thor wasn't there to hear the tease, but it made the others snicker.

“Then what?” Barton asked. “We don’t know how to deal with all the victims.”

“Make sure they’re taken care of, and they don’t hurt each other or themselves,” Steve said. “That’s all we can do, for now.”

Natasha nodded. “SHIELD will have to deal with it. But with Hydra in play...” she trailed off and flattened her lips, shaking her head in concern.

“Yeah, Nick's gonna have enough on his plate," Tony agreed. "We’re gonna have to deal with Hydra ourselves.”

“Not to mention we might still be at war with Russia,” Bruce reminded them, and Tony grimaced. That was still a tangle, especially since the Ruby had been destroyed and even the shards were gone so there was nothing to prove they hadn't stolen it. 

He bent down and picked up the haft of the scepter. It was heavier than it looked. “Maybe they’ll accept this in exchange? Or I can whip up a ruby in the lab in New York. They’ll never know the difference.”

“How about no,” Natasha said dryly. “I think all these people being under a spell should be proof enough, but I should get ahold of Nick so he can get in front of this. I’m sure someone noticed the atmospheric disturbance by now."

“Spoilsport, I wanted to make a ruby,” Tony chided. “So I’m off to make a bomb. But after all that, maybe there’s shwarma in the village? I could eat.”

“I doubt there’s anyone left to make it,” Clint said.

“Oh. Point. Well, Cairo then. When we’ve wrapped things up here. Meet you below,” he said, snapped the faceplate back down, and launched. Without one of his gauntlets he had to be more careful of his thrust and angle, but the suit was designed for some redundancy in case of malfunction.

So he flew up to get a view and locate the quinjet. A quarter mile up, he looked at the cloudless blue sky and felt the heat of the golden sun, bare and punishing, on his skin without the gauntlet. He thought of how a green-and-black figure had plummeted from the sky not so long ago, and made winter come to New York in the middle of summer.

 _I hope you’ll be okay. And I hope you come back, Reindeer Smurf_.

Maybe that should be his code name. Because he was gonna make Loki a suit, he decided. Loki obviously wanted to be able to fly like Thor did, and no matter how much he might scorn Earth science and technology, he never had said anything mean about the suit. So maybe he’d not hate it. Even if Loki wouldn’t wear it, Tony thought he’d do it anyway.

_Yep, I’m gonna make you a suit, because I make suits for all my friends. Because you are, and even if I wasn’t sure before I said it, the look on your face means I am now. Last year I’d have said I was crazy, thinking about being friends with that world-conquering, me-hurling demigod. But he saved the city and he saved the planet, and who knows, maybe the universe by killing Thanos’ ass. He deserves something nice._

Besides a suit, what else did Loki seem to enjoy? “JARVIS, how much Russian vodka do I need to buy to smooth their feathers about this whole Ruby business?”

Far too dryly for an AI, JARVIS answered, “ _I could not estimate, sir_.”

“Well, patch me into the Russian ambassador. Or their president. Whoever takes my call, and I’ll find out. I want to get lots of the good stuff for Loki when he comes back, since he drinks like a fish, and if I can do that and end a war, why not? Let’s get something done, while I make the reactor into a bomb.” He turned to accelerate toward the jet and grab the ARC reactor.

“ _Are you certain this is not a negotiation Ms Potts should be a party to_?”

“Oh, yes, of course. Call her first.”

When Pepper appeared in the display, he could only smile and stare at her, grateful to see her face again. Queen Frigga was right; just seeing Pepper made him feel better. He was grateful he was alive and she was alive, and the crisis had passed.

“Hey, Pep. Get out the checkbook, cuz we’re gonna end hostilities by buying vodka.”

" _Tony? What?"_ She looked at him, fine red-gold brows drawing together in confusion, before she shook her head and laughed. The warm sound made the last lingering chill of fear dissolve, and even though it would still be a little while before he could see her in person, he was already home.

* * *

... tbc... 

 

(next time the others go home to Asgard) 


	35. A little fall of rain

In Asgard, they returned on the Bifrost to the golden light of the inside of the Observatory. Frigga saw only Heimdall waiting for them.

The Watcher stayed back, bowing his head in respect. “Allfather. A skiff awaits outside.”

“And your watch?” Odin asked.

Hands settled around the pommel of his great sword, still plunged into the heart of the Observatory, Heimdall reported, “Uneventful in this Realm. But I saw mine were not the only eyes on Midgard. Word will spread that Thanos is no more.”

“Good,” Odin declared. “Let all be wary of attacking those under our protection.” He indicated the body. “I will have this laid out in the Great Hall on a plain slab and announce to all, that Thanos is dead and Loki, son of Odin, slew him.” He thumped Gungnir on the floor and one watery eye found Loki, still in Thor’s arms. “We shall honor his deed.”

“And not your confrontation with a Celestial, my king?” Heimdall asked carefully, making it clear he knew the whole of what had occurred.

“No,” Odin said shortly. “That is for the histories. We shall honor what was courage and sacrifice for all, not what a father will do for a son.”

Frigga was pleased by his decision to have Loki take the greater part of the tale. He should have his moment of glory, undimmed by his father or brother’s actions. She looked to Thor, who met her eyes and nodded his understanding. “I did nothing, Mother.” His eyes fell. “I let Thanos enter Midgard by pushing Loki away from the Portal. I have no honor here.”

“I think you saved his life,” Sigyn murmured. “He would have crossed to meet Thanos in his own lands, and be lost to us.”

“I doubt he will thank me for that,” Thor returned, tilting his head to touch Loki’s.

Frigga touched Thor’s cheek. “But we do, my son. When Loki has so little care for himself, we must do it for him.”

“But why?” Thor asked, blue eyes miserable. “Why will he not believe--”

“Thor,” Odin interrupted sternly. “This is not the time. Loki needs to be abed and the rest must be secured.”

Thor swallowed back his upset, and nodded. “Yes, Father.”

The party passed out of the Observatory to where the Einharjar awaited their king and his family.

Across the bridge was the bright shining city and the palace a gleaming beacon. It was good to be home, with her family together again.

She looked to Thor with Loki clasped in his arms, and recalled how very nearly she’d had only one return. She remembered the boy in the netherscape of the Casket, trapped within his fear and pain, and she vowed that this time she would keep Loki safe until she nurtured his mind and spirit into full bloom again.

 

* * *

 

After Thor laid Loki down in his bed, Frigga dismissed him with a gentle smile. “Go assist your father. Loki will not rouse for some time, and I will watch over him.”

Reluctantly he acceded, and left. There was much to do, handle the recovered Gems and Thanos’ body, and to share the story. But Odin and Thor and the others would do that without her help; she would stay and tend Loki.

Now that they were alone, she removed his boots and outerwear, so he could be more comfortable. He did not stir for any of it, so deeply asleep she touched his chest to be sure it remained only sleep. It was, but she kept her hand there lightly, to feel the heart beating within, strong and sure now, not the stillness of before, that had struck her like a lash.

Almost she had lost him again. No, that was not the truth; she _had_ lost him again, and it was only incredible luck and fate that had brought him back.

Later, a whoosh of wings announced Munin’s arrival. The raven entered from the balcony and circled once around the ceiling before landing on the bed at Loki’s side. “Munin, what news?” she asked.

There was none apparently, as he cocked his head at Loki. “The cub unsheathed his claws at last.”

“Indeed, he did, and now all will know his power. Yet,” she reached a gentle hand to brush back Loki’s hair. “he is so uncertain about his own worth, Munin. So quick to spend it as if it is nothing.”

Munin picked his way across the coverlet and nudged Loki’s arm away from his body, enough for the raven to wriggle into that space. The raven murmured, “The cub brought down the Titan. And heard a pack to call him when he strayed.”

She nodded, thinking of the mortals’ actions, especially Tony Stark’s declaration of friendship. Loki had been too weary to disguise his startlement and pleasure over hearing that. It made her sad, too, wondering how she had missed his lack. How had she not seen how apart he had been, as a youth? Thor’s brightness had hid that from her eyes, believing Thor’s friends were also Loki’s, when Loki had not felt they were. Yet were the mortals his friends because of Thor again? She thought not, at least not for Stark, whose soul was bruised in much the same way as Loki’s was and yet strong enough to offer friendship to a former enemy.

“All is changed,” Munin added. “But he must open his eyes to see.”

She nodded, agreeing with him and fearing that Loki might still refuse to see what others saw so plainly. Munin tucked his head down and closed his eyes to sleep, and she smiled to see them together again as they’d been in Loki’s youth.

Still caressing Loki’s hair, she remained by his side, offering her comfort and her presence while he slept. She did not seek her own rest, finding enough in the feel of life beneath her fingers when before she had felt nothing but death.

 

* * *

 

Thor stood on the step below his father, as the Einjarjar ushered in the slab of stone on its floating sled, parading it down the aisle for the crowd to see. Thanos’ corpse lay there, beneath a force field, and the slab thumped to the floor at a gesture from the Allfather to leave it there.

The Gems were gone, of course, removed to the Treasury where they would sit securely, though not for long. The tesseract was draw enough, but three would be dangerous temptation once word spread. They would need to be rescattered and hidden. Thor believed his father had plans for the Gems, but he hoped the Allfather would ask Loki for his thoughts first.

Across the way, wearing a deep blue gown of Asgardian style, Princess Sigyn stood next to Hogun on the lower step, acknowledged as another Realm’s official representative and observer. Her face was serene, her hands folded before her, but Thor caught her glance down at Thanos and the curl of her lips in a vengeful satisfaction when the king announced that Thanos the Eternal, the Mad Titan, was dead.

“This enemy,” Odin continued, “not only of Asgard, but an enemy of all life everywhere, sought the Infinity Stones of legend to enslave the universe beneath his hand. It was Thanos who led the attack by Svartalfheim on us, an attack thwarted by Prince Loki, Queen Frigga, and Svartalfen Princess Sigyn Durns-daughter,” he glanced deliberately at her and gave her a nod of acknowledgement, and she bowed her head in return.

Odin raised his head again and thumped Gungnir on the floor. “So defeated in Svartalfheim, Thanos turned his attention to Midgard, seeking a way into the Nine Realms. He hurled Loki entrapped in spell to attack them, but Loki broke free and turned upon him. In vengeful fury, Loki battled him in single combat with powers unfettered, and he slew Thanos the Mad Titan.” There was a moment of confused silence, and some in the crowd looked to Thor as if Thor should contest that statement. Odin saw, too, and he thumped Gungnir again, so the sound rang like a great bell, and he said it again, “Thanos, called the Eternal, once thought impossible to kill, is _dead_ , at Loki’s hand. There will be a feast to celebrate his victory, once he has recovered from his injuries sustained in the battle. But until then, let it be known and written in the annals of Asgard, that today, Prince Loki of Asgard slew Thanos the Eternal to end his millennia of terror in the universe forever!”

Thor thrust Mjolnir in the air to the sound of cheers, wishing Loki was there to hear them.

After the audience was over, he left the hall, and was called by a sweet voice, “My lord? Thor?”

He turned to see Sigyn coming to meet him and he waited. “My lady?”

“Might I speak with you?” she asked. “In private.” Curious, he agreed, and led her to the queen’s garden.

It took her a moment to speak, frowning as if she had trouble with the right words, before beginning hesitantly, “I was given to understand from the queen and others that Loki has not been much lauded. And it seems to me that one announcement, while necessary, is not sufficient to change that understanding among the people. More must hear and learn of it, to believe it. So they do not dismiss the story as a fable, or worse, change the hero to another.”

“To me, you mean?” Thor asked, and shook his head. “I will not allow it, Lady Sigyn. I will not take--”

She interrupted sharply, “You may have no say in it.” She inhaled a deep breath and explained, “In Svartalfheim, my father was quite skilled in the power of rumor. A story in the right place could do more harm than a blade. He knew how to play the court against each other and keep power, even when he was not well loved.” Her gaze flid away to look at the flowers, brows drawn tight with memory, and for a moment she examined her hand as if it belonged to someone else. She cleared her throat and faced him again. “So, my question for you is, how do we apply such a whisper in this place? How do we ensure the right story spreads and reinforces the Allfather’s pronouncement?”

He knew what she was asking, but he frowned. “You are sincere, I believe, but still, I must know, why? Are you in love with him?”

She didn’t answer immediately. “If I said yes, you would not believe me. And I cannot tell you for certain on such a short acquintance. But I will say that I believe him a kindred spirit, and I would not mind more, should he be well enough and willing to offer it. But that is not the only reason.”

Intrigued, he gestured for her to go on and he would listen.

“I know you were there in the battle wherein my father was killed,” she said eventually, and then added hastily, “I bear you no ill will, that is not my point. We in Svartalfheim, we knew what had happened. We knew it was Loki’s doing that so many of our peple and our king were slain. To us, Loki was our enemy.” She gave a short bitter laugh. “So much so, Malekith became obsessed with learning his spell and defeating him.”

“But you did not?” he asked.

She shrugged one shoulder. “Not like that. I was angry and I wanted revenge, but when Loki was captive, I knew his suffering would not bring my father back. More, I realized I didn’t _want_ him back. There was nothing more to avenge.” A finger traced one of the flower stalks, Sigyn’s gaze far away. Thor remembered what Loki had said about manipulating her to help him, and he was glad that Sigyn had the temperament to let go of her anger. So many could not.

She cleared her throat and continued, “I was braced to come to Asgard and hear tales of how Loki smashed our army and killed Durn of Svartalfheim in glorious victory for Asgard. And yet, when I came, I heard there had been glorious victory, but not his. His part was forgotten. And I wondered how many other tales there are in Asgard where his contribution has been omitted. I would prevent that from happening with his victory over Thanos, when he sacrificed himself to save us all.”

Thor grimaced, both at the belated realization that Asgard had celebrated the slaughter, and yet the one who had caused it had never thought it should be celebrated. “In our defense, Loki did not want to be known for that slaughter and he believes it was a failure of his skills, not a victory. But your point is well-taken and true.” Thor knew he would not have thought so before, but now recognized that some tales had been twisted against Loki, coming around again with him as a victim or betrayer or useless, when he had been none of those things. He remembered Loki's impetuous illusion of slaying Odin, and the shock and confusion that had followed, and feared suddenly that the two events could get tangled in story, so Loki only pretended to kill Thanos, yet made a true attempt on Odin, or something else mixed up and villainous. 

So Thor knew that might still happen, where the truth of his battle would become something else. “What do you suggest? To repeat the story elsewhere, in a tavern perhaps, or drinking hall, to spread among the people more widely?”

“Yes, something like that,” she agreed. “Is there a place to start? With your friends, perhaps?”

Enthusiastic, Thor nodded, with a grin. “Indeed yes. We should all celebrate this victory. I will fetch Sif and the Warriors Three, and we will tell the story so none can forget it!”

“Yes, that sounds exactly my intent.” There was something familiar about the smiling curve of her lips; it took him until he’d found Hogun to realize it was because she was smirking the same way Loki did, when he knew something Thor did not.

He forgot about it while the friends gathered in one of their usual taverns, and soon Thor and Sif were having tankards poured for them, while they told the story of what they’d seen on Midgard of Loki’s battle.

Until Fandral nudged his arm to get his attention. “It appears the princess has found another way to tell this tale.”

Thor looked around, anxious since he was sure his mother would be very disappointed if anything befell Sigyn while she was out with him, but Sigyn was speaking to the musicians in the corner.

Then, her golden hair gleaming in the light, she moved to the front of the performing space and she began to sing. Her voice was light and sweet, but Thor stared at her, amazed, as she sang Loki’s tale. It was about the whole of his battle with Thanos, not only the end, but included Svartalfheim and even Midgard before that. How had she been able to make a song so quickly? Yet it flowed, enrapturing the audience to tightly they cringed against blows, cheered victories, some shed tears when Sigyn in the story seemed to perish. Thor listended, deciding this had to be some sort of spell.

But spell or not, everyone thumped their glasses and called for more when she finished, and she had to sing it again. When she protested a third time, two other people got up to join her, and finally, with a gracious laugh, she let them sing it with her the third time, and then she returned to the table.

Fandral seized her hand to kiss it as she passed him. “That was extraordinary, my lady! Such talent.”

After she glanced around to check for those close enough to hear, she answered as she took her seat to Thor’s left, “Nay, my lord, it is power.”

“Power?” Thor asked curiously. “So it was a spell?”

She took a thoughtful sip of wine and answered, “Not as such. But you see, I am half-Ljosalfar, and they express their innate power in music best of all.” She twirled the cup, examining its stem. “All my life, my father used my talent in secret, to help him rule. None knew about it, indeed, none were permitted to know of my blood. He was quite… strict about it.” Her eyes lowered to the cup, and Thor wondered what dark memories she saw there, before she forced a smile at Thor. “So you see it is strange, but liberating to be here where I can do as I like, and display who I am for all to see.” She combed her fingers through the length of her blonde hair, a darker and more golden shade than the near white of the Svartalfar.

“And you should,” Fandral agreed, with a flirtatious grin. “For what fool would hide such beauty?”

Thor agreed, but within he felt the sting. Sigyn drew a parallel between her own situation and Loki’s. They were both forced to hide their true faces in the places that should have been their home. He glanced around the table and he saw Sif lower her eyes, stung as well. She had seen Loki’s face in death, too, and knew it was not a horrifying, monstruous visage. He shouldn’t have to hide it so deeply it only emerged only against his will.

“It appears to be working,” Hogun murmured, watching other patrons as some left the tavern, humming Sigyn’s song.

Thor listened to the conversation around them, pleased to catch a few phrases about courage and Loki’s power. He stood. “Let us take our tale and your song,” he added extending a hand to Sigyn, “to another hall. We shall spread it through the city as far as we can in one night.”

“It is a rather different quest than our usual,” Volstagg said.

“Indeed, but more important, too,” Thor said. And Volstagg, who knew the truth and understood why they were doing this, nodded with an unaccostomed gravity.

“Aye, lad.” Volstagg sighed. “I have amends to make.”

* * *

 

When the dawn brought two small birds to the balcony, chirping loudly to greet the sun, Frigga watched them, amused by their hope that the sun would hear them and call back. Munin stirred, pulled himself away from Loki, and flew at the smaller birds to chase them away. Then looking very proud of himself, he perched on the balcony railing, apparently guarding Loki’s rest from anything else that might disturb it.

Loki woke not long after, earlier than she expected, fingers flexing and gathering the coverlet, until awareness seeped in and his eyes opened. He stared up at the ceiling, looking sleepy but not surprised to find himself back in his own room.

She gave him a moment before leaning forward and greeting softly, “Good morning. How do you fare?”

He lowered his eyelids, assessing. “Weary,” he answered. “But… better.”

Better than dying? Better than a captive of a Celestial? There were so many things this state could be better than, she thought sadly. He wasn’t merely weary, he was weakened, as well, as he tried to lift himself up but sank back with a groan. “Oh. That was unwise.”

“It was unwise to fight alone, my son.”

He went still, eyes hooded. She regretted bringing it up so quickly, but she wanted to discuss this while he was still tired enough to answer truthfully. He looked at her and said in a level tone, “If I had not, you would be mourning both sons right now. Thanos could lift Mjolnir, Mother. Thor would be dead, killed by his own hammer, and I – well, if I lived, I would be slaved to the Mind Stone.”

She had not heard that Thanos could wield Mjolnir. “He could…? How is that possible?”

Loki shook his head a little. “I know not. But I should have thought of it – as I sought so hard to find a way to break the enchantment on his power, so did he search for and find a way to break the enchantment binding Mjolnir. He knew Thor would be a threat to him.”

But that, she realized was obfuscation. “You didn’t know that would happen. And you intended to leave all behind to confront Thanos alone. To die.” When he looked away, she sighed a little and seated herself on the edge of the bed. “Loki, why? You know we love you, why did you choose to sacrifice yourself?”

“That was the only way to defeat and kill him.”

“The only way you saw,” she insisted, and he shook his head.

“The only way,” he repeated. “Only a Stone can battle a Stone. He had the Mind Gem, and only the Soul Gem unfettered could defeat it.”

“Defeating and killing him was not your task alone,” she told him. “So why did you shoulder it alone?”

He turned on his side, facing away from her. “To die a hero, isn’t that obvious?” he returned, tone too sardonic to be entirely true, especially when he wouldn’t look at her. “Atone for all my sins.”

“I’m sure there is truth in that, but it was not the real reason, I think.”

“You seem to have it all figured out, what do you need me for?” he retorted. “I’m tired. I want to go back to sleep.”

She ignored the attempted dismissal and rested a hand on his shoulder lightly. He twitched. “Little one, talk to me,” she urged. “Let it out, expose it to the light of day, so it will not prey on your fears in the dark.” She hesitated before forcing herself to ask the question, “Did you _want_ to die?”

She braced herself for the answer to be yes, and felt some relief when he answered promptly, in protest, “No!” but immediately countered it by adding, “I don’t know, maybe. I wanted – it wasn’t really to die, but more….“

He trailed off and she waited, feeling the tremors build within him, as something buried being forced to the surface.

“I wanted it to _stop_ ,” he whispered. “Everything. I want to stop wanting to claw off my skin, I want to stop feeling useless and ignored, and – and I want to stop remembering things that didn’t happen. I-- I remember killing you,” he confessed. “I know it’s a lie, I know it didn’t happen, you’re right here, but he made me remember it. I remember the knife and the blood and your eyes, and it happened.”

Her lips parted on a sharp inhalation of distress, her hand tightening. “No, no, darling. It’s all right.”

“No, no, it’s not!” he disagreed, voice rising and choking in his throat. “It’s a nightmare and I can’t wake from it.” His chest heaved on a sob he tried to suppress, but then had to gasp it out. ”I thought everything would be better, if I was gone.”

“No, never,” she protested, appalled, but he didn’t hear her, as the words tumbled out unchecked and ragged.

“So I thought, I could do one last, good thing. Something I could be remembered for and it would be over. But it didn’t end. I was in that place, that void again, and I couldn’t get out. I could feel myself torn apart, and it was all too late...”

Her own eyes welling at the sound of her boy in such pain, she curled up against his back, putting one arm tight around him, while the other caressed his hair. “Nothing’s too late, Loki. You escaped, you’re here, I’m here, you’re not alone,” she murmured. “I love you, your family is here for you. We’ll help you get through this. We understand so much more than we did, and we’re going to make it better, I promise, little one.”

He shook his head and his chest heaved, and she didn’t have to see them to know his eyes were wet. She whispered, “Let them come, it’s all right.” With another ragged breath, he turned his head into the pillow and shook, no strength left to hold back. She hoped these tears were cleansing and would help him heal. She murmured into his hair and hummed the song she’d sung when he’d been little and she’d soothed him after nightmares.

Gradually his breathing evened out and his trembling stopped. He sniffed and wiped his eyes on his pillowcase, and she said nothing, giving him peace to get himself back together. When he turned over, she relaxed her grip and sat up, sitting cross-legged beside him and her skirts pooling around her. Trying to smile, she pushed a wavy strand of hair off his face and did not remark on the damp tracks still left on his cheeks. When he stirred as if to make some uncomfortable, self-deprecating remark, she lifted a finger to stop him. “You have been through so much, my son. Through trials that, frankly, none of us have faced. You need time to recover, and there’s no shame, no weakness, in that. But I want to you to listen and heed what I am about to say:” She looked into his eyes, trying to impress on him that he needed to take this truth within himself. “There is nothing that will be _better_ without you. Certainly not me. Not this Realm, and not the universe. You are here for a purpose--”

“A purpose?” he echoed, struggling to sit upright to face her, face twisted in distraught incredulity. “My purpose is destruction and death. Lies and darkness, and anger and _hate_ ,” he spat. “My purpose is to be a monster.”

There, that was the truth pouring out, like the poison it was. She laid a hand over his, clasping his fingers and tightening her grip when he would’ve pulled away. “Never that. Do you still not see, Loki? All of this power, all your strength of will and your cleverness, your blood, all of these things that you resent because they mark your difference, are also gifts, given to you for a reason. No one else could have stopped Thanos before he could enslave and murder across the universe. No one else can walk between the Realms and be a bridge between them, and, I believe, only you can bring life and light back to Jotunheim after so long in darkness. I know you fear the prophecy and so did your father, but even if it does refer to you, do you not remember our discussions on why some things end? The universe must change to grow. Ragnarok need not be horrific, my son; change may also bring the new flowering of something beautiful.”

He stared at her, unblinking, trying to grasp her words, until he shook his head in honest confusion. “Why would you say this?” he whispered. “To me? You know… you know what I am.”

“I know who you are, my son.” Her free hand rose to cup his cheek, her thumb swiping away the damp track. “I know you have so much _light_ in you, little one, shrouded in your own doubt. But if you cast the shadows away, you will see, you are not alone. You have so many who care about you. Not your family alone, but others, too, who know you and accept you, and wish you well.”

She was thinking not just of the mortals, but of Sigyn, too, who had traveled to new Realms and fought a Celestial on his behalf. Sigyn was the only person who had met Loki first in his Jotunn appearance, and her honest acceptance of that would do more to heal him than any words, Frigga felt.

But Loki was thinking of Midgard as he nodded a little, eyes drooping, and murmured, not looking at her as his fingers picked at the seam of his coverlet, “It’s so strange. I was their enemy, yet….”

He couldn’t bring himself to say it, so she said it for him, “Now you are their friend. So they fought to save you.”

“Why?” He looked up at her. “I don’t understand.”

“The mortals adapt, because they must. We change more slowly, and we cling to our habits, long after we should have let them go. That is a flaw in living so long, I think. Thanos was also trapped in a vision he had of the universe as it used to be long ago, but never will be again. But Tony Stark, and the others, they saw that you were changed from what they knew before. They recognized you sought to do better and so they fought to save you. Going among them, you learned of their value, and they learned of yours. You see, your father and I were right to send you there at the beginning of all this,” she reminded him with a gentle tease. But seeing him so weary, his shoulders and head low, spine bent and barely holding him up, chased her smile away. “Though the path you took was not what we expected or hoped.” She smoothed his hair and leaned forward to kiss his brow. “Let the despair pass away, my son. There is hope, and there will be healing. Many things that seem overwhelming now, will be smaller when you have your strength back. When you wake again, I will have Hilde make you a feast so you can put some flesh back on these bones. Now, rest.”

She pushed his shoulder lightly to coax him to lie down again, and he sank back against the pillow.

The whoosh of wings brought Munin back and he hopped up on top of Loki’s chest to cock his head this way and that way, examining Loki’s face, then he dropped something from his beak to Loki’s chest. “Nut?” he asked. When Loki didn’t move to take it, Munin picked it up again and this time, put it against Loki’s lips as if to feed him. Loki took it, and Munin declared, with a bob of his head of satisfaction, “Nut.”

“Thank you, pigeon.” Smiling faintly, Loki’s hand reached up to stroke Munin’s back, and he chewed the offered hazelnut. He petted Munin, as his eyelids sank shut, until his hand slipped off and he slept again.

After Munin made it known to her that he would stay, she intended to slip out to fetch a book and found Odin in the doorway, watching and leaning on Gungnir.

In the sitting room outside, among Loki’s things, Odin asked, “How is he?”

She closed the door and answered, “Exhausted. The Celestial failed to return him in full, either in spite or ignorance. But Loki was distraught also, his spirit withered.”

Odin listened and nodded his understanding. “As he grows in strength, we will watch over him, keep him guided on better paths.”

“We shall,” she agreed and thought of Loki, full of such disbelief that he could have a good purpose in life, and she sighed. “We must. I will not fail him this time. Only a miracle brought him back, and if we scorn it, he will slip our grasp.”

Odin’s hand curled around her shoulder in support. “When he rises, I think he will find an Asgard different than his recollection.” She glanced at him curiously, and he smiled. “Our Svartalfen guest and our son have not been idle while their elders rested. Thor has brought her to his favorite taverns in the city and she has sung the defeat of Thanos. I think she has reached more ears than my announcement in the Great Hall.”

Astonished but pleased, Frigga nodded and then chuckled. “I told Loki that I believed he would bring light back to Jotunheim. Perhaps I underestimated, and should have added Svartalfheim, too.”

He was not amused, blowing out a soft breath and shaking his head in wonder. “Jotunheim made ally, Svartalfheim weakened, in the space of a breath. All is in flux, and how it will end is no longer clear to me,” he admitted.

“As it should be,” she said after a moment’s thought. “Foresight is a gift, but if seeing forecloses other paths that might have been, it is naught but a curse.”

His grip tightened on her shoulder. “Yes. As we have learned to our sorrow,” he added heavily, and she knew he was thinking of the prophecy and how his knowledge of it had kept him from being the father he might have been to Loki, creating what he feared. “But let no one say this old man cannot find new paths to tread,” he declared.

She chuckled and teased, “With some encouragement.”

“From you, it is wise counsel,” he said gallantly and offered her his arm. “In fact, I would seek it again, in the matter of the Stones.”

She leaned into his shoulder. “Always, it is yours.”

* * *

...tbc...

 


	36. Clouds at sunrise

Thor headed into Loki’s room to see if he was awake yet, to find that not only was he awake, he was on the balcony. Though late in the day, he wore his sleep clothes, tunic and trews hanging off him, and his feet were bare. His hair was loose and untamed on his shoulders. The image was one of complete disregard for his appearance, which warned Thor that Loki was not yet recovered.

“Loki! You have risen!” Thor bounded across to him, glad to see him alert.

The face he turned to Thor was still terribly thin with shadows smudged beneath his eyes, and Thor’s enthusiasm dimmed for worry. “You should still rest,” he advised. “You look….”

“As if the Celestials took their fee before sending me back?” Loki asked with a flare of his brows and dry little smile.

“I would have said tired,” Thor finished. “But that, yes. Do you… remember?” _Remember being dead_? Was what he wanted to ask, but he couldn’t finish. Loki knew what he meant.

“I...” Loki’s gaze saw nothing but memory. His voice was low. “I remember everything.”

Thor wished that he didn’t. Watching from outside had been horrifying, and he doubted Loki’s experience had been anything better. “You are free and well now. But you should go back to bed.”

“Later,” Loki murmured. “I like the light and the breeze. It’s peaceful.”

There was something in his voice that made Thor’s heart ache. Loki sounded so different, as if not only had the Celestial not returned his health in full, but also not his spirit.

“Well,” Thor said, a bit too loudly, trying to be cheery, “if you don’t want to rest, you should dress and come below. We have been telling the tale of your great victory, and you should take your due, brother.”

Loki’s lips lifted, though it seemed an effort. “Cheering? Calling my name? Offering me drink?”

“All of those things! Anything you want.” He slapped Loki on the back, checking the force of it at the last minute, afraid he might knock Loki clear off the balcony.

For a moment, Loki seemed tempted, but he turned back to the view. “Tomorrow. I’ll come down tomorrow.”

“Do you promise?” Thor asked, but couldn’t stop himself from adding bitterly, “No, don’t bother. You’ll just break it.”

Loki’s head turned toward him, frowning. “What are you talking about?”

His feigning ignorance was the last straw. “You promised!” Thor grabbed both shoulders and shook him. “You promised you would not do it again, you _promised_ you would not try alone, and you did both!”

Loki’s lips parted in a breath, realizing now, then lifted in small amusement, “Oh, that.”

Thor was not having any of that. “Yes, ‘that’! I was there. You promised! And I watched you die! You were _dead_ \--”

“And I got better.” Loki shrugged and removed himself from Thor’s grip. “Norns aren’t done with me yet, it seems, no matter what I try.”

“But why?” Thor asked, anger faltering to a deeper hurt that Loki didn’t even seem to care about what his loss had done. “Why did you do it?”

Thor’s pain seemed to touch Loki, as his anger had not, and he faltered and had to take a breath. “I had no other choice. Once I knew the price for destroying Thanos, how could I not pay it? What was I supposed to do? Return to Asgard, report to everyone I could have killed him but my own life was too important? Or should I have lied that I couldn’t kill him, thereby proving everyone right that I am just that selfish and cowardly?”

Thor shook his head. “No! No one would think--”

“Of course they would!” Loki snapped. “Because they always have before.” He lifted his gaze and looked out toward the mountains, folding his arms as if he were cold. “I know what people think of me.”

“Do you?” Thor challenged, but softly. “That’s why you should come below and you’ll see you are wrong. You will see the truth of their respect-- nay, their admiration. You are a _hero_ , Loki.” When Loki snorted skeptically, Thor gripped his shoulder and knew he had to strengthen his appeal and get it through Loki's thick head. “Yes,” he insisted. “They all know you fought Thanos and defeated him utterly. And yes,” he added forcefully, to block Loki’s attempted interruption, “I know you scorn that this admiration comes from battle, but Loki, it is real, nonetheless. Remember how you tried to show you were a wolf? But now you have, in truth. And it has changed. Come, see it. Live it,” he implored, not letting go of him until Loki heaved a sigh.

“Fine, if you are going to be so annoying about it. Let me bathe and dress properly, and I’ll go with you.”

* * *

 

This was a terrible idea, and Loki was sorry he’d agreed the moment the door to his quarters shut behind him. He felt like glass, fragile on the outside and hollow on the inside, and responding to Thor’s efforts to cheer him up seemed to take all the energy he possessed. But he felt he owed Thor, and so he went along. He sent a message to the kitchen to have food for him sent to the dining hall. Though not feeling very hungry, eating would give him something to do while he made his appearance.

He expected Thor’s idea of “admiration” to be a small thing greatly exaggerated for Loki’s benefit, and that he wouldn’t actually find any change.

His first hint that he was wrong came when his arrival at the hall was noticed. As soon as he and Thor appeared in the archway, heads turned, and people rose to their feet.

In confusion, he started to step aside to let Thor go through first, because usually this sort of thing was for him. But his gaze met Thor’s, and Thor smiled at him. “It’s for you, brother. Go in.”

Loki didn’t believe him, expecting everyone’s eyes to slide behind him as if he were invisible, but they didn’t. Thor stayed back in the doorway as Loki walked to his place at the front table, plastering a smile on his lips, to act as if this were perfectly ordinary, even though it absolutely was not. His stomach knotted with apprehension, though he kept it off his face, waiting. He hoped this would stop before someone reminded them he was just Loki, not one of their warriors for lauding, and the attention turned to laughter. He readied a basilisk illlusion, to draw attention while he made his escape from the hall. Why, _why_ had he agreed to this?

His pretense of accepting the attention as if it were normal, lasted until Volstagg shouted, “Thanos Slayer!”

The hall dissolved into shouts and thumping of cups and fists on tables and stomping of boots. Loki stood behind his chair and clasped the back of it in tight fingers, sure that this was going to turn any minute into mockery. Or this was a dream.

But it kept happening, until he had to bestir himself and smile again, raising a hand in acknowledgment, and he sat down. Everyone quieted after that, returning to normal conversation, but he was still stunned.

As his astonishment faded, it was replaced by a slow creep of warmth in his chest. They … knew. They approved. They _noticed_. Not just Volstagg who might do it as a favor to Thor, but even Hogarth, who had scorned Loki most of his life, had been on his _feet_ , goblet held high.

Other people got this for doing nothing at all, and he had to do the impossible. If only he’d known that killing Thanos would have gotten everyone’s attention, he should have done it centuries ago.

But he pushed the bitter thought away before it could sour everything. He had a moment of glory, he should try to enjoy it. For however long it lasted.

He seized the cup of wine and drank it, glad for something to do with his hands while he waited for food.

Thor plunked himself into the seat next to Loki. “You see? I told you.”

Loki rolled his eyes and asked, “Are your proceeds from your Midgardian toys so lucrative you can pay all of these people for this performance? I am impressed, brother.”

“I didn’t!” Thor protested, incensed, but Loki was glad to have needled him. He sat back in his chair, sipped at his cup, and watched the gathering. He cast a simple eavesdrop spell, directed it by turning his cup, and listened to the conversation, expecting different words once everyone had settled down.

But there was nothing. A few people spoke about a song, and one person started talking about how ‘the prince’ was a bit unstable, frightening, and didn't eat right, and Loki was grimly satisfied to hear what he expected. Until another person responded that he’d gained great power in exchange for not eating meat, so it was a sacrifice to help defend Asgard.

With a twist of his fingers, he dismissed the spell, not wanting to hear any more. Did they know he was listening? They must, or why would they say it? No one, not even his mother, had called his eating intolerance a _sacrifice_ , and most implied it was indicative of weakness.

Still wrapped up in what he’d overheard, he was late to notice Sigyn and Frigga approach the table, and had to scramble to his feet to greet them. He had only a vague recollection of Sigyn on Midgard, little more than an image and the echo of her voice which could be a dream, but she stood in person, no illusion, though she was in the other, natural guise of her features, not the wholly Svartalfen one.

Her hair was golden, the front coiled and braided atop her head, framing her delicate ears, while the rest of her hair hung loose to the middle of her back, and she wore a cobalt blue gown that flowed around her in thin layers, belted at the waist and a low enough neckline he had to force his eyes away.

She smiled, perhaps catching where his gaze had strayed, and bowed her head. “It is good to see you well enough to rise and come to dinner,” she told him warmly.

“Thank you. You, too,” he said, then realized that made no sense, and had to clear his throat, “I mean, it’s good to see you.”

Her smile widened, catching the graceless correction. But when he said nothing more, she said, “I shall not bother you at table...”

Her name sprang from his lips. “Sigyn?” She turned back, and he had to say, “I thought you were dead. That Thanos had killed you. I am glad to know that was not true and to see you here.”

“Though this is not the face you first met?” she asked, bright eyes meeting his.

He shook his head once, frowning in confusion, and he told her in reassurance, “I think I am the last person who should complain about that, my lady. You should wear whatever guise you wish.”

“Well, I shall complain about not seeing the guise I first met,” she responded, lightly, as if jesting with him, but her eyes still held his. “And I hope to see it again soon.” When he examined her face for the lie or the mockery, she gave a respectful nod of her head. “I hope to have another chance to speak together, in quieter surroundings,” she wished him. “Until then, I see your meal has come so I should excuse myself. Your Grace,” she said to Frigga and headed down the table to her seat.

Loki stared after her as two of the attendants laid out his food from the tray.

Sigyn was here, and she remembered what he’d looked like on Svartalfheim. He rubbed at his neck, reminded of the bite of the power-dampening collar and that strange feeling of the frostfire sliding across his skin. His other skin. But she wanted to see it again.

Frigga touched his hand and drew his attention. “Loki? Are you going to taste it? It looks as if Hilde made you some treats.”

He looked down to find several of his favorites, including mushroom soup which he smiled to see, knowing that was Hilde’s way of welcoming him home. He ate with some appetite, though his mind kept turning over what Sigyn had said. Did she mean it? She would not taunt him, but still-- to  _want_ to see it? That reminded him of how Tony also had been curious, but accepting of the 'smurf'. 

Fingers tapping on the table before him drew his attention, and he found Volstagg before him. “Volstagg,” Loki greeted with a nod. "I hope you fare well this evening." 

Volstagg ignored the polite attempt to excuse him and declared. “I wished to make amends.”

Loki frowned, feeling too weary to parse what exactly Volstagg was talking about. “For what? For calling me Thanos Slayer?”

“For that? No, never, for that is what you are, is it not? And a proud name it shall be, I think. But before, during the reconciliation ceremony, I spoke words that I meant well, but in ignorance, and so they came to your ears as insult,” Volstagg answered. “I would apologize for the offense I gave and the upset I caused you.”

Loki remembered what Volstagg said, “ _Blood will tell, in the end_.” And he let a flicker of a bitter smile escape. “Well, you may yet be right, Volstagg.”

“No,” Volstagg disagreed with enough emphasis, Loki jerked back in his chair. “No, I was not. It is not blood that tells. Do I not love my wife’s niece that we are raising as much as my own daughters? I do, though she is no blood of mine. So I was wrong then, and what I will say to you now, instead: You are a son of Asgard, and that is what tells.”

The very careful wording of that – not saying Odin – told Loki that Volstagg knew something of the truth, and if Sif had found out, surely Volstagg had, too. His eyes met Volstagg, who nodded once. “A prince of Asgard,” Volstagg said, and seemed to mean it. “Son of Odin Allfather and Frigga. Thanos Slayer.” He held up his drinking horn in salute. “With the blood of honored warriors in his veins.”

Loki’s fingers fumbled for his cup, hardly able to believe Volstagg would say such a thing, knowing the truth. “Honored warriors?” he repeated hoarsely.

“I think it is for the queen to tell you the tale, as it is mostly hers. But yes, a warrior son of warriors.” He drank and Loki had to echo the gesture, as Volstagg smiled at him, ruddy beard all aquiver with humor. “You missed much, lazing about in Svartalfheim while the rest of us battled.”

“Apparently,” Loki said, his voice a ghost.

Volstagg, seeing how his humor had fallen flat with Loki, said deliberately, “When you are well, it would be my honor to face Thanos Slayer in the practice field. I hope it is soon, my prince.” Then he nodded to Frigga. “My queen.”

Loki didn’t watch him go, thinking that this was all impossible. Now Volstagg was requesting a practice duel? When had that happened before?

He cast his mind back, and could not think of one.

It hit him then that this was all too perfect. This wasn’t Asgard; it couldn’t be. Not like this.

Loki put down his spoon and the cover back on his dish, something that did not go unnoticed. Frigga leaned nearer to him. “Loki, you must eat.” When she caught a closer look at his face, her own brow creased in concern. “Sweetling, do you feel well? You look pale and tense.”

He made a smile for the benefit of the watchers, but felt no impulse to amusement. “Oh come, Mother, surely it is as obvious to you as it is to me? I realized what this is. I know where I am.”

She frowned at him, not understanding, and he wanted to laugh at how good the impression was. For a moment, he was tempted to let it, to let this farce continue, but he was too tired to not speak.

“All of this,” he nodded his chin out to the feast hall, “is the Celestial. A little dream world they made so I would stop resisting. It is Valhalla basically, where I get everything I ever wanted: you at my side, Sigyn alive, acclaim and notice, friends…. It’s not real. And now I’ve identified it, it will end. I await the inevitable crumbling as they figure out I’m not fooled and try to force me to join them again. Perhaps Thanos on the throne and everyone dies, one by one, until I am left alone and beg them to take me.”

Frigga listened to this recitation with a growing sadness in her eyes. When Thor made a noise as if to protest on Loki’s other side, she quieted him with a gesture. “Loki,” she murmured, and laid her hand over his. “No. This is Asgard, all of this is true. It is not a dream, I promise.” He shook his head in denial, and she insisted, “You know how to anchor yourself,” she reminded him. “You know how to reach for Yggdrasil, and feel the roots of Asgard. Do so, and you will _know_. No dreamscape could feign that.”

He shut his eyes, and though he was still weak, her seidr embraced him, a stronger rope twining around his pale thin green thread, and they sank deep within Asgard to touch the fire of its heart, a glowing core like a star. Its heat and light warmed him, reached into his spirit to knit some of the shredded, weakened cloth back together.

He opened his eyes, to meet Frigga’s, watching him anxiously as he pushed himself upright after sagging limply in the chair. “Is it real?” he whispered. “Truly?”

Her fingers were gentle on his face. “It is, little one. You see how much is changed? It will change still more.”

His mind went blank, unable to comprehend that this was happening. This wasn’t some dream or nightmare that would give him everything he wanted and then wrench it away in horror. The hall wasn’t going to burst into mocking laughter at the little frost midget, Thor’s inconvenient shadow, daring to think he might find a place here after all.

“I- I can’t.” Chest heaving, he shoved back his chair. “I have to go, excuse me, I need air,” he blurted, probably incomprehensibly, and managed to keep himself to a walk as he hurried out. Once the door shut, he sprang into a run as if monsters were after him, but there were no monsters there. The monster was inside him. But maybe it wasn’t, and that was almost as terrifying. He sprinted blindly through the hall, trying to outrun the squeeze in his chest.

He ended in the queen’s garden and threw himself into the grass beneath the tree she’d planted. Wanting to cry or scream, or _something_ , he choked and gasped for breath. His hands tangled and yanked at the long strands, and fingers clawed into the dirt, until he collapsed on his front, panting and exhausted. The earthy, rich smell filled his nose, reminding him of where he was, that it was real. His furious breaths began to ease.

Flipping over, he stared at the branches that arched above him gracefully and the green leaves that seemed to glow with the sunlight above them.

To focus his mind, he counted the leaves, and found some solace in the quiet.

 

* * *

.. tbc.. 

 

 


	37. To be seen

* * *

Frigga waved at one of the servants to take Loki’s tray away. At least he’d eaten something, though she wished it had been more. He would never be able to build up his strength eating so little.

Thor leaned closer to her, brows drawn low in worry. “Shall I go after him?” he asked in a low voice, meant only for her.

“No, no, let him be, Thor. He will only provoke you into a fight, to restore what’s familiar to him. In a bit I will go to him and see if he will talk to me.”

Thor was silent as he accepted another serving off the meat tray and drink refills were poured, and then he slid over, into Loki’s chair to ask her in a low voice, “Did he truly believe this was all illusion?”

“He feared it was. He knows how malleable perception is, so he doubted his own.”

Thor shook his head, not disagreeing with her, but more in confusion. “I thought seeing how everyone lauds him would _help_ , not upset him more.”

She laid a hand on his and squeezed. “It does help. It will help. But he--” she hesitated, knowing they were observed and some might be able to hear. She had to find words so others would understand that what Loki needed to recover from was not visible, but deep. “When the Celestial sent him back, they did not heal the damage already inflicted, they merely put back what they had stolen. He will mend, but it may take years, not days.”

Thor’s lips parted and his eyes widened in distress. “Years?” he repeated.

She nodded. It might be years for Loki to reach a better understanding of himself and the truth. The mental damage from Thanos’ manipulations, the Gems, and the Celestial would make that more difficult still. But she believed it could heal. “He will need our patience and support.”

“Of course,” Thor said, as if it was so obvious she needn’t have said anything, and she smiled.

“How was I so blessed with you?” she asked and patted his hand, before rising. “I will find him and see how he fares. Sigyn, if you would walk with me.”

Sigyn started, caught listening to their conversation, but she followed promptly. “Yes, Your Grace.”

In the hall outside, Frigga said, as they walked, "I wish to thank you, Sigyn. I have heard the song you made about Loki’s battle, and it was a well-thought and kind thing to do for him.”

“I was glad to use my power for something good, by my own choice.”

Frigga nodded, accepting that. “It showed me your skill, that you read the situation and acted to strengthen where it was needed. It is a gift.”

Sigyn's gaze dropped. "It was nothing so special," she murmured. "Or it should not be."

The truth of that was like a slap in the face, because Sigyn was right. It shouldn't have required a special action, by an outlander no less, to reinforce the notion that Loki had done something heroic with his sorcerer powers. Being wiser and long-lived, her people should be _more_ accepting of difference, not less, and yet there was no doubt they were not.

Frigga let out a soft sigh. "No, it shouldn't be. But it is, at least here. He has always stood on the outside, no matter how I tried to help bridge it. Yet you are no bridge; you stand with him." She hesitated, wondering how to put her concern. "I would not pressure you, or wish you to do anything you would not otherwise do, but... I would plead with you to be aware that his spirit is fragile. Be honest with him and with your own intent."

Sigyn's gaze met hers, and she knew Frigga's true worry. "Do not break his heart, you mean. I do not toy with him, Your Grace, I assure you. I am not the sort to want to trick the trickster for my own amusement, nor do I act without reflection." Sigyn smiled and teased, "I leave that to Aesir."

Frigga inclined her head, smiling, at the point well struck. "Then I am content.”

She left Sigyn at the entrance to the garden to enter it alone. She knew Loki was within, and had to inhale a settling breath after she warded the entrance shut so they would not be disturbed.

He lay beneath his tree, hair like a black halo about his head and his fingertips stained green from the grass. Seeing him so still and pale reminded her of Midgard with a painful clutch of her heart.

He looked up at her but said nothing, as she smiled a greeting and settled herself cross-legged next to him. She patted the bowl of her skirts in invitation, and it was a measure of his inner turmoil, despite the calm face, that he accepted. With a graceful twist of his body he put his head in her lap, stretching out his long legs. He was tense, as if he'd forgotten how to be anything else, with his shoulders and back held rigid, and his fingers clutching the grass to either side.

"Close your eyes," she murmured, floating her fingers down his face to encourage him. When his eyes closed, she combed his hair in her fingers gently. He had such thick hair, not as soft as Thor's, but with a bit of delightful spring to it that showed up whenever he let it. There was a nightflower leaf in his hair that made her smile. He was her nightflower, always had been. She plucked out the leaf and smoothed his hair from his face.

She was content to be there, offering whatever comfort she could, and rejoicing that he was there, alive, when it had not been long ago that she had knelt beside his empty corpse in the sand and faced the truth that this time, he was dead. But he had come back, again, and surely this was the last miracle she deserved.

After a little while of soft ministrations, he inhaled a deeper breath and let it go slowly, tension flowing out of him.

She kept on caressing his hair. "Better?"

He hesitated, as if considering a lie, but shook his head minutely.

"Was it so overwhelming?” she asked.

“No. Not that,” he answered reflexively, but admitted right after, “Yes. I couldn’t breathe. Which is… foolish, is it not? To have what I wanted and I ran away.”

She wound a lock of his hair around a finger and it stayed curled when she let it go. “You need more rest. You were hurt, within, wielding the Gem and the Celestial did not return you hale. That is not foolish, but wounded. If you were stabbed by a sword you would not begrudge time to heal," she chided gently.

"But it is all my mind. Nothing can heal my nightmares, my memories, my emotions," he objected and choked out a pained laugh. "All of it mixed up and broken."

"Hurt, not broken," she corrected and her fingers smoothed down his cheek. The bones were too prominent, flesh worn away. He'd always been thin, but this hurt her heart, how gaunt he looked. "You were most grievously attacked. The wounds are inside, but they are wounds nonetheless. What has been hurt can be healed, my dearest."

At first there was only silence, as he mulled her words. But she could see a sliver of hope breaking through his weary despair like a sunrise over the dark ocean as he realized that this need not last forever. There was help and there could be healing.

"I want to go somewhere," he murmured suddenly. "Somewhere I need not pretend to be well. I am not," he admitted. "I am living inside one of my own illusions; nothing feels real. My mind is like smoke and I can barely hold onto it…"

She wanted to agree. He should be away where he could rest and heal in peace. But would Sigyn’s song be enough, or was Loki’s presence necessary? She would hate to have him go away and his reknown subside again in his absence.

In her silence he heard the hesitation, and gave a sigh. “I know. They’ll forget. For a long-lived people, Aesir have short memories.”

“I think they will not forget, not this time,” she reassured him. “But that said, I think perhaps you need to grow accustomed to the notion that they admire you. I fear if you leave, _you_ will forget.”

“What then can I do?” he asked, a helpless undertone to his voice.

“Stay here, a little while longer,” she smoothed back the hair from his high forehead, mourning the faint lines that remained on his brow and the corners of his eyes, aging that had fallen on him from pain, not years. “I will help you rest. And I think, with Sigyn’s help, we will help rid you of those false memories Thanos forced on you. So they will stop tormenting you.”

“That would help," he murmured. "I have forgotten what it is to not fear my own dreams."

Her heart twinged at the softly spoken words. "Oh, little one." She bent to kiss his forehead. "All will be well. Be patient and allow us to help you."

He sighed. "I know, but I already weary of … being weary."

"It would help if you would eat more," she pointed out, and to her surprise, he snorted a laugh.

"Munin gave _me_ a hazelnut.” Her smile faded as his expression darkened with anger and more than a little self-loathing. "Even the bird pities me."

"Loves you," she corrected softly. "Munin may be the king's messenger, but he loves you. He wants you to be well. When was the last time the raven pair played a trick together? He misses his partner in mischief."

Loki's lips flicked upward. "You should know my days of mischief are over."

"Over?" she repeated, lifting her brows skeptically. "Well, we shall see. I will be stricken if that is true. This place needs a bit of livening up sometimes."

"But…"

"The one thing you and your brother do poorly is doing anything in moderation." She didn't stop caressing his head. "But I think there's no harm in mischief. Mischief is for laughter and delight. It's when it becomes cruelty there is harm. But laughter is only goodness."

"And if I cannot find the way?" he whispered.

"Then we will show you. You cannot be lost, Loki, when you have so many to help you."

Her words struck with a force she didn't intend. His body shuddered with sudden irregular breaths, as he shut his eyes, brow furrwed against sudden tears. And his voice was ragged as he forced out, "Even when I don't deserve it?"

"Oh, darling," Frigga bent down to awkwardly embrace him, "of course you do. You deserve your family, and you deserve love."

He shook his head against hers, in stricken denial, so she didn't let him go. "Yes," she reassured him. "Yes, you do." She caressed his hair. "Let it go, little one. All this doubt of who you are, none of it's true. You torment yourself, my son, with these fears that you deserve nothing good."

He inhaled a ragged breath, trying to calm down. "I want to believe," he whispered. "I do, Mother. But I'm so tired, I … just can't. I can't remember what it is like to have _peace_."

The soft admission broke her heart and she kissed his forehead. "We will find you well again, my son."

He lifted a hand to rub his eyes, letting out a long breath to relax again.

She let the silence linger for a little while, mulling over whether this was a good time to tell him. “There is something you should know.” When he tensed, bracing himsel, she rubbed the back of his hand. “It is a good thing, Loki. I hesitate only because you have heard much today, but perhaps this news will help you pull out the weed that’s taken root in your heart.”

“Mother?” He frowned at her, now curious, as he tried to figure out what she could be talking about.

“You know I went to Jotunheim, and there I revealed to them the truth so that they would come to battle against Malekith.”

“I know,” he said. “I wish you hadn’t. Too many people know for the secret to hold, and then what?” His face fell into familiar lines of hopelessness, expecting hatred and exile, and perhaps worse.

“And then? We will hold our ground, that you are our son and always have been. Where you were born makes no difference to us, nor should it to anyone else. If anyone disagrees, we will deal with them.” She would be the lioness Volstagg called her to protect her cub. Even if he was a wolf and not a lion, he was still hers, and woe to the person who tried to say he was not. Softening her voice, she patted his chest. “I think it will be not so terrible as you fear, especially now that you saved the Realms from Thanos.”

He did not seem especially reassured, but she knew the anxiety would probably not diminish until the truth was known on Asgard and he could confront it. She almost wished to announce it, just to have it done, but he needed to recover first. And hopefully her news would help with that. “But you have heard only the beginning of my tale, so hush. While I was there on Jotunheim, I found an ally. A giantess came out from the crowd, and in her face was the first hope she had felt in a thousand years and she asked me, “Laufey’s son? He still lives?’ and when I said yes, the joy in her eyes – Loki, she was your mother.” Loki went rigid and shoved himself up and around so he could look her in the face. Frigga stayed calm under the intensity of his silent demand and continued, watching him grow pale, “She told me in those dark days of the war, when their defeat seemed close, Laufey saw his only son was born small and he thought himself cursed. He took you from her, believing a sacrifice would gain their gods’ favor. She protested, but too weak from the birth, she couldn’t stop him. When she had strength enough to go after you, you were gone. She did not abandon you, Loki; she wanted and loved you, and she has mourned her son every day since you were taken from her.”

“And you believed her?” he asked, hoarsely.

She nodded. “I saw a mother’s grief. It was true. She wants to meet you.”

He turned away, one hand pulling at the grass. “I’m not ready for that.”

It wasn’t a flat ‘no’, which was better than she expected, so she didn’t want to pressure him. “Later then. But you should know, she was there, fighting with me to rescue you. I admired how fierce she was and how willing to risk herself and her people for a child she’d lost so long ago. She had not forgotten you.”

Loki slumped tiredly while he combed his fingers through the long grass and mulled over what she’d said. She hoped it would help him, if not immediately, at least settle in his soul that his birth mother still thought of him and had never abandoned him.

When he spoke, it was a barely audible murmur. “Volstagg said they were honorable warriors. I had never heard anyone call the Jotnar _honorable_.”

That truth stung. She could well believe it, having heard so much of Asgard’s hostility herself, and surely there was worse the queen did not hear. There were so many failures to put right. She drew a pained breath. “That was our fault: Asgard’s for demonizing our enemies, and your father’s and mine for not combating it as we should. We thought such attitudes would weaken as memories of the war faded, but we should have done more, I know that now. But that belief was never fair or true, Loki.” She reached out for his hand, not surprised when he drew away from her touch, so instead she held up a finger and sent a thread of seidr to call one of the jewelwings drinking the flowers. “We have learned. And change has come. And you, you were trapped in a dark cocoon, losing your way, but within, you were changing too. And now, my darling, you can emerge and spread your wings.”

Long but fragile limbs wrapped her outstretched finger, and she held out the delicate creature to Loki to see. It flapped bright blue and green shimmery wings slowly, showing them off. Then it launched off her finger and flew across the flowers, and Loki’s gaze followed it as long as he could.

“When you regain your strength, you will fly, my son, and it will be beautiful.” She kissed his forehead and when he leaned into her, she wrapped an arm around his back and sat with him.

The beauty of the garden surrounded them, and it wasn’t long before the hum of the jewelwings and the sweet fragrace coaxed him into sleep. Frigga stayed where she was, reminded of a much smaller boy, sleeping against her in this same garden.

* * *

Loki stirred slowly, coming to the awareness that he was in the garden. He’d slept, and slept without dreams, and that alone seemed a marvelous gift.

He heard soft voices a small distance away, and wondered who else had come in. The list of people he wanted to talk with was very short, so he kept his eyes closed and hoped they didn’t notice he was awake.

He shortly recognized Odin’s voice. “How does he fare?”

Loki waited, curious to know what she’d say. Thinking he was asleep, she would surely be more honest with Odin than she had been with him. Maybe she’d suggest they send him to Jotunheim to be with his real family, now that they knew his birth mother had survived. Or just imprison him someplace while he finished going mad.

But she said nothing of the kind, answering, “Weary, of course. But the feast was good for him. I think he needs only time and care.”

“And sleep. Which he has stopped getting,” Odin said, and Loki could sense Odin’s eye looking right at him. His eyes flew open, guilt flashing through him as if he’d been caught eavesdropping.

She was amused as she said, “Ah, he awakens. Then I shall leave you two to talk.” Before Loki could object, she was gone. Loki could only watch as the king approached, Gungnir making no sound in the grass as he used it as a walking stick.

It was tempting to cast a double of himself and escape, except when he tried, the strands of seidr slipped away from him and he sighed. He’d have to endure then.

“Good evening, Allfather.” He pushed to sit upright, preparing to force himself to his feet.

Odin’s free hand beckoned him to stay where he was, while his bright eye examined Loki’s face. “I am glad to see you recovering,” Odin said. “How are you feeling?”

Loki considered telling him the lie that he was feeling well, but ended up giving a shrug. “Tired. But better than before.”

Of course _dead_ had been before, so that was not saying much, but it was true.

“Good. You will continue to improve,” Odin said, nodding. He hesitated, as if intending to say something, but said nothing.

“Did you need something?” Loki prompted eventually, to break the awkward silence.

“No, no, only to see you. I was told you left the feast hall somewhat … abruptly. I hope no one said anything to offend you? Because I will--”

“No,” Loki interrupted and huffed a laugh. “Quite the opposite.”

“Good. I want to be certain you are lauded and celebrated,” Odin said. In the pause before he spoke again, Loki wondered if an alternate dimension might explain all of this. Frigga had proved this was no illusion, but perhaps somehow the Celestial had put him back in a similar, but not quite right universe.

But even if that were true, which he didn’t believe, he was still stuck in this universe, so he had no choice but to deal with its strangness.

Odin said, “The corpse of Thanos is in the Great Hall if you wish to see it.”

Loki stiffened, alarm coursing through him, and the memory of a nightmare flashing through his mind. “You are certain he’s dead? What if--- he could rise --” He started to scramble to his feet, but Odin extended Gungnir to block his path, holding him in place until Loki calmed enough to look up.

“Loki. You killed him. He will never rise again.”

Loki subsided, the aftermath of anxiety bitter in his mouth.

“We will burn the body when you have sufficient strength to wield your power,” Odin said. Loki inwardly grimaced that perhaps his reach for seidr had not gone unnoticed. “I want you to be there, visible to all, as Thanos is removed from the universe.”

Loki nodded. He wanted to to help do it, to be sure it was done. Otherwise there would always be a lingering sense that Thanos might have escaped and might return, and he knew he didn’t need that. Strange how he had felt Thanos die – every moment of that battle felt ingrained in his memory, including the end when he’d forced the power inside the husk of Thanos’ body and made it stop, killing him. Yet the memory seemed to matter so little to his fear.

“You were there,” he murmured. “I remember.” He didn’t remember seeing Odin, but he had felt the king’s power and heard him call. “You came to Midgard to fight him.”

“No. I went to Midgard to stop you from sacrificing yourself,” Odin corrected. “Though I failed in that.” He walked close enough the toes of his boots nudged Loki’s leg and his hand laid on Loki’s head. “I will say this again, and I hope this time you listen: you are my son. And,” his fingers slipped under Loki’s chin to tip his face up, “I see you, Loki. Everyone sees you.”

Loki looked up, heart feeling full and yet shattered. His mouth opened to speak but nothing came out. His lower lip started to tremble, and his eyes stung. He tried to lower his head, so Odin couldn’t see, but the fingers wouldn’t let go. He held his breath until his chest heaved, and he tried to blink back the wet heat. _I will not cry over this_ , he insisted to himself, _I need to stop being such a child and get myself together_.

He inhaled a deep breath and let it out slowly, feeling more settled afterward.

Only then did Odin let him go, with a touch of his cheek. “Rest, my son. The Realms shine all the brighter today because of you, remember that.”

Odin was several paces away when Loki blurted, “Father?”

Odin’s hand tightened on Gungnir and he turned swiftly, arching bushy brows at Loki and prompting when he didn’t speak immediately, “Loki?”

Loki realized what he’d said and had to swallow hard, grateful Odin wasn’t making a big deal out of it. That let him lift his chin. “Nothing,” Loki said. “It’s just – I hadn’t said it for awhile.”

Odin’s sudden smile seemed pure as the sun, so glad to hear Loki call him ‘Father’ again. He nodded to Loki, in grateful acceptance, and as he left, Loki was feeling pretty good that such a little thing had made Odin happy.

Maybe there was a secret magic in that. As he stretched out beneath the tree again, he thought of the Soul Gem, and what he’d said to the mortals about the power of soul energy. Was that not what he’d done, strengthening Odin’s soul power a tiny bit by making him happy? And was it not also true that his parents’ attention, and the notice in the hall, and even something so small as seeing Sigyn’s face had started to refill and repair his? Was it not all the sentiment he'd scorned for so long, bitterly aware how shallow and false it could be? Yet when it was true....

Sentiment seemed weakening because it made him feel vulnerable, but in that vulnerability, it seemed he was healing, too. It was a paradox, but as it made him feel less like a bag of glass shards, shattered and jumbled, he didn’t want to inspect it too closely yet.

There would be time for that later. For now, all he wanted to do was look up at the sky and watch the birds, and feel that he was home.

* * *

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> One more chapter, everybody! I hope you've enjoyed the story!


	38. Arise

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> so, after many words, I've now come to the end of this particular story. Thank you to all of my readers, and especially those of you who were so encouraging when this one took awhile to come out, and all of you, who've kept my enthusiasm high with your enthusiasm and support along the way! It means a lot when it's a monster story like this to know people are reading! 
> 
> I hope you enjoyed it! Tell your friends! :)

* * *

It was odd to enter the Archives and not be looking for a way to end Thanos. He’d found a way, he’d ended Thanos, so why was he here?

But the smell of the place alone was comforting, reminding him of many pleasant hours spent amid the myria ways of preserving other people’s thoughts and knowledge. There were books, scrolls, and tablets of course, but also more esoteric record-keeping, such as crystals that held data in their lattices and metal wafers with inscriptions too small to see unaided.

The master archivist met him in the rotunda, which was the massive central hub, out from which the halls of knowledge stretched out in multiple directions. It was a vast space, lit by large burning braziers that offered a more fire-like comforting glow but was bright enough to read all but the tiniest of symbols. Here there was only the archivist’s desk to give direction and otherwise there was nothing to distract from the view of tomes in shelves spiraling to the ceiling, down into the basements, and along outflung arms into the distance.

“My prince,” Wulfgar rose and bowed his head to greet him. “Seek you another villain to slay?”

Loki forced a laugh. “One seems enough.” He thought of finding information on boosting his powers back to useful strength, but decided against it. Likely his mother would not approve, and he was in little mood for that sort of research today. “I seek something lighter this time.”

“The Archive is yours, my lord. Let me know if you require assistance.” Wulfgar bowed again and moved off, letting Loki proceed deeper into the Archives.

Staying away from histories and magical tomes, he plucked a slim volume of Kree poetry off the shelf and took it outside to the garden. Though the garden was quiet now, he didn’t want to bothered, so headed for the side courtyard. The central water feature held a ridiculously ponderous statue of a man holding up a sphere on his back, which Loki had always thought representative of Asgard’s self-imposed duty to guard everyone else.

But the statue was large enough that an agile person could climb from the rim of the basin, pull up on the elbow and swing one’s feet over, and sit between the statue’s head and the sphere. Hardly anyone looked up when they were in the garden, and he usually had several hours of peace before someone, usually Thor, found him.

The third poem had some interesting word choices and declension, and he was pondering what the long dead author meant, when someone called, “My lord? Loki?”

Glancing up, he saw Sigyn standing by the fountain and he felt guilty he hadn’t sought her out since they’d met again at the feast. “My lady. One moment.”

He slid down from his perch, landing lightly on the rim of the fountain and jumping down to the ground to face her.

“I apologize,” she said at once, “I meant no interruption to your reading, I only wanted to say hello.”

He dismissed it with a brief shake of his head. “I wanted to speak with you. I neglected to thank you for aiding my mother. She would not have escaped Svartalfheim without you.”

Sigyn smiled. “We wouldn’t be rid of Thanos without you, so I believe the scales are still weighted in your direction.”

She was so wrong about that, he wanted to laugh. Instead, he shook his head and glanced down at the book between his hands. “Nay, one good deed among many bad ones changes nothing.”

“Only one?” she asked, tilting her head as if she saw more deeply than he might wish. “I think there was more than that.”

He shrugged. “Only one that mattered.”

“I think that is not so. I would not have left Malekith, if not for you. The Aesir and Jotnar would not have allied.” She took an impetuous step forward, closer to him. “Do you not see? You have caused more good than you know.”

“By accident,” he brushed her attempt away.

“By fate,” she corrected. “I think the Norns, or whatever force stands above the Celestials, grew tired of Asgard keeping the Nine Realms in unchanging stillness for ten thousand years." She pointed to the statue behind him. "Taking it upon themselves. And so they sent you to change it.”

That sat perilously close to the prophecy, and he felt suddenly ill, thinking that this might be only a respite before it all changed again. “And if that change is terrible?” he asked, and could not halt the next demands, as if he expected her to realize her mistake. “What if they sent me back because it’s supposed to end in fire and death? What if my destiny is to be the monster of the stories and ruin all of it?”

To his surprise, a smile grew on her lips. “Then I think you should keep thwarting it out of spite,” she suggested. When he chuckled in appreciation, and wondered if that might actually work, her expression softened. “But I think not. The universe does not lack for monsters who want to kill and destroy; it hardly needs you for that. You came back because your family fought for you, and because you didn’t let go. And maybe, because the universe saw you had changed and it wanted to give you a second chance to do better this time.”

He flinched, thinking back to all that he’d done badly. “But there is no making that right--” he started, but she stopped him with a gentle finger across his lips.

“Do better,” she repeated. “Not undo. The past is the past. We all have pasts that we wish we’d done differently. But we walk in the present, and we should face the future or else we stumble on our way, looking too much behind us.”

“And if the past chases us?” he whispered. “If it refuses to be left behind?”

She plucked the book away, set it on the fountain wall, and clasped her fingers around his. “That is why you don’t walk alone.”

He looked down at her hand, warm and soild as so little else seemed to be. “You feel real,” he whispered. “So much seems as if I never truly left that Celestial and all is illusion. But you feel real.”

“I’m real.” She tilted her head to look up at his face, drawing closer to him. And with her free hand she touched his cheek lightly. “But I am not sure this is.” When he frowned, not understanding, she explained, “This face is different than the one I knew. I hope you will trust me with it again.”

His stomach clenched on the suggestion and he tensed, but didn’t speak an objection. Did she truly want to see it? Could he show her again?  
She added, fingers gentle, “Or not, if you do not wish it, but last I saw it was in death. I would like to see your true face in life.”

Perhaps he could let her see. It was no secret from her, after all. So in private, maybe, for a short while, he could show her again. He knew she wouldn’t mock or be revolted; to her it was merely how he looked. So maybe... he could do it.

"I owe you something," she said, distracting him from his disquiet with her teasing tone. "Do you remember what it was?"

"I remember." His voice was a little hoarsen as his heart leaped to a faster rhythm of anticipation. Her hand on his face slid around his neck, the light touch on his nape making him shiver.

"Shall I take it now?" he asked, leaning down.

"Do you need a formal invitation?" she retorted, a little breathlessly, and tilted her chin back, rising up on her toes to match their heights better.

"To do what I've wanted since the moment we met?"

"When I kicked you?" she teased.

"I hardly noticed your little slippered foot,” he muttered and silenced whatever she might have tried to retort, his lips meeting hers.

At the touch, Loki remembered her smashing into the wall and the frostfire that followed. Both should have killed her, yet here she was. A part of him feared it was a trick, that it couldn’t last. He would ruin it or the fates would realize he didn’t deserve any of this, and all these good things would end.

But after a moment, he decided it didn’t matter. He would live this moment, _all_ these moments, and fate would have to take care of itself.

* * *

As the sun set, a crowd gathered in the great court before the palace. The Einharjar formed a perimeter, keeping the crowd back from where Thanos lay on a tall wooden pyre, lit from high up on the palace wall, so everyone could see him.

When night fell, the royal family gathered on the balcony above the gates, high above their people and the body. Despite their formal garb and gleaming war helms, their arrival went unnoticed for a moment, until at a signal from the king, the Einharjar, as one, turned to face the palace and slammed the butt of their lances against the paving of the square with a thump like thunder.

Into the silence, Odin spoke, voice strong and amplified through subtle art to reach everyone’s ears, detailing the crimes and threat of Thanos, his wielding of the Mind Stone and quest for the others, to make himself ruler of all. “But before this could come to pass,” Odin declared, “Thanos, the Eternal, was slain by Loki Odinson.” The cheer erupted after the name – and Loki lifted his head and his lips parted in wonder at the sound.

Odin paused, to turn toward Loki and bow his head in acknowledgement. In the courtyard, fists went to hearts in salute. Odin turned back to face the crowd.

“This is Thanos on the bier. So now do we end all that remains of Thanos, to remove him from the universe forever.” He lifted Gungnir, the tip streaming with a bright silvery light. “Loki, hold out your hands.”

Loki head snapped around, surprised at the request.

More softly, Odin told him, “Hold Gungnir. It is for you to rid the universe of Thanos.”

Loki hesitated and murmured, “Are you… certain?” But it wasn’t Odin who was uncertain, as the king twirled Gungnir and held it out.

“Destroy what remains of Thanos,” Odin urged him. “Destroy _all_ that remains; his corpse and what remains of him within you, as well. Free yourself of his shadow.”

“Go on, brother,” Thor murmured, and set a hand on his shoulder.

Loki wrapped both hands around the haft, remembering the last time he had taken it when it had been offered and all that had come from that. With a gentle tug, he pulled it from Odin’s hand into his own.

Face set, he stepped to the front of the balcony, leveled the scepter, and a bolt of green fire shot across the air and straight into the pyre. The wood caught in a sheet of yellow and white flame, towering the height of the balcony and so bright it cast new shadows across the plaza. Smoke rose up acrid and foul but passed as the intense heat burned everything swiftly. When the flames sank down, all could see the form of Thanos, curling and disintegrating inside the flames, moments before the wood collapsed on itself in a shower of sparks.

Loki stopped the flow of power to watch. The crowd below was mostly quiet, watching the fire. It felt too mournful. Loki didn’t want anyone to _mourn_ Thanos; he didn’t deserve that much respect. Loki glanced at Odin. The king seemed to know what he wanted to do and nodded permission.

Loki leveled Gungnir at the fire again, but this time used a smaller but more complex flow into the embers. It was not enough to strain his powers, but felt good to do something more interesting than simply set something on fire.

Sparks shot up into the sky, one after another, faster and faster, until there was a bright fountain. The crowd stirred in excitement that something new was happening.

But all the sparks were golden fire, and that seemed too dull. So Loki shifted them into different bright colors, like tiny colorful stars flinging themselves into the sky.

The crowd gasped and applauded, thrilled by the display.

Loki would’ve continued it longer, but even with Gungnir’s boost, a sharp pain woke in his temple warning that it was enough. In one large burst, the sparks climbed above the towers and exploded into immense colorful flowers of fire.

With a final twist, he extinguished the sparks and flame, leaving only a few embers in the pyre.

The crowd roared approval, stomping or shouting or applauding, and began to disperse now that the show was over. Only then did Loki raise Gungnir and with a satisfied smirk, hand it back to Odin.

“Loki?” Frigga asked curious why he’d done it.

He shrugged. “They were so dour.” He pulled his helm off and set it atop the rail, flashing a smile at her. “Sometimes, this place needs livening up.”

Laughing, she shook her head in mock despair.

“It was brilliant, Loki!” Thor exclaimed, slapping him on the back. “I doubt Gungnir has ever been used for fireworks before!”

“No, it has not,” Odin said, tone dry but blue eye alight with good humor. “Come, it is time to celebrate. Evil has been defeated, and you three are safe and home.” He offered his arm. “My queen?”

She took it with a smile and they entered.

Loki mimicked Odin’s gesture, holding out his arm. “Brother?”

Thor locked their elbows, pulling Loki close, and with his other hand tousled his hair. Betrayed by this, Loki let out an affronted yelp and shoved at him. “Get off!”

Thor let him go, grinning. “Better. You had helmet hair.”

“You lout, I did not!” Loki smoothed his hair with quick gestures. “I have a dagger this time, you know.”

Thor ignored the threat and feinted another reach at his hair. Loki ducked back, but his elbow hit his helmet and knocked it off the rail. "No!" He lunged for it but couldn't lay a finger on it, before it was out of his reach and slammed to the ground, barely missing one of the Einharjar.

Thor was choking with laughter, hardly able to stand up.

“Shut up,” Loki muttered. “It’s not that funny.” He waved at the startled guard and glowered at Thor, until he finally stopped.

Wiping his eyes, Thor said, “You were right, this place does need livening up.”

Loki eyed Thor’s helm, calculating his odds on getting to it and throwing it to the courtyard, before sighing and rolling his eyes. “Glad I could help.”

“I feel better.” Thor smacked his shoulder and then his blue eyes turned more somber, as he asked, “Do you feel better with Thanos gone?”

Loki glanced in the direction of the ruins of the pyre and the bits of curled and scorched armor that were all that was left of Thanos. “I do.”

“Good.”

But Thor didn’t move, and Loki had to prompt him. “What?”

“Now that you are better, we should return to Midgard. They still need our help with all the victims of the Gems.”

Loki felt his weariness pressing on him again, returning from where the elation of destroying Thanos and the fun of the display had put it. He sighed. “I have nothing to offer them. Tell them I will study the question, but I have no answer.”

“You will,” Thor said, with a quiet but sure faith.

“I did one impossible thing with a Soul Gem, Thor, and at considerable _cost_. A second-- I –“ His voice choked in his throat and he spun away, hands shaking. It was some effort to reach that dry tone and say, “You expect much from me, brother.”

Thor’s hand closed on his shoulder. “No, Loki, not again. No one demands the impossible, or that you pay that price again. Only look into it. You understand the Gems as few have, and you were at least briefly with the Celestials – you may discover a new way to undo the harm the Gems did to all of those mortals.”

Loki inhaled a breath, trying to keep it steady when it wanted to waver at the reminder. He tried to focus his mind on research. Experiments. He thought of Banner pointing out that magic and science were the same, and how Stark hadn’t found Loki’s reading worth a comment. It was natural to them to search for answers. And here was Thor encouraging Loki to study, instead of urging him out to the practice field as he would have in the past.

“All right.” Loki agreed. “I will try. That is all I promise.”

“Fair enough,” Thor agreed and squeezed his shoulder again. “Let us go feast. Or Father will eat all the food.”

“ _Your_ food,” Loki reminded him.

“Not tonight,” Thor corrected him. “We eat in the family room, and Father ordered Hilde to provide for us all.”

“What?” Loki’s head snapped up and he stared at Thor, incredulous. “He did not.”

“He did.” Thor looked insufferably smug as he chuckled at Loki’s expression. “I heard it myself. We will eat as you do tonight.”

He shook his head, still half-convinced Thor was exaggerating. He’d always had his own food, and at best they’d shared one of his dishes, but never without having their own, too. “It’s … not necessary,” Loki protested, sounding half-hearted even to himself. “I’m used to it.”

“It is no sacrifice to eat as you do, Loki, but it is poison for you to eat like us.” Thor shook his head in mournful regret. “You should have at least one meal where you might eat everything at the table. So now we will.” He clapped Loki on the back. “Come, see for yourself.”

Loki trailed behind him toward the family’s private quarters.

The palace was the same place he’d grown up, but the halls now seemed too bright, too grand, still not quite real. He brushed his fingertips against the columns and doorways as he passed, to remind himself they were solid.

This was no dream. He wouldn’t turn the corner and find Thanos; the floor wouldn’t crumble away and drop him into the void. He wouldn’t wake up and find himself back in the 'real' Asgard to be ignored or taunted as a freak. He’d thought it was impossible that Asgard could change, but they had. As he had.

He was awake and alive, and his mind was his own. He could choose his path.

He was Loki of Asgard and perhaps of Jotunheim, and it was time to discover who that was.

* * *

_the end._


End file.
